35, only worked menial job for last 10 years, need help.

So, I was recently let go after pushing carts at Walmart for 5 years (had worked as a cashier part-time four years before that).

I would like to take this opportunity to do something other than carts/retail work for a job. The problem is I have NO idea how to make “Pushed carts for five years” desirable to any company that would hire me.

Can anybody who was in a similar position give some advice?

Jobadvisor

This is actually a really common situation, and the good news is that cart-pushing and retail work builds more transferable skills than most people realize. The key is knowing how to translate what you did into language employers respond to.

What you actually have from that work:

• Physical reliability — showing up every day, in all weather, for years. That's not nothing. Employers call it "dependability" and "work ethic" and they genuinely struggle to find it.
• Customer interaction — even indirect, you were in a public-facing environment daily.
• Safety awareness — managing heavy equipment, pedestrian traffic, lot safety.
• Time management — keeping lot clear during peak hours without being told every five minutes.

How to frame it on a resume:

Instead of "pushed carts," try something like: "Maintained cart inventory and ensured customer access across high-traffic retail environment; responsible for lot safety and equipment handling in all weather conditions." Same job, different framing — and it's all honest.

Where to realistically pivot at 35 with no degree:

• Warehouse/logistics — Amazon, UPS, FedEx. Physical work you're already built for, but better pay and often a clearer path to forklift certification or lead roles.
• Trades apprenticeships — electrician, plumber, HVAC. Many programs take people with zero experience. Hard work, but $30–50/hr is realistic within a few years.
• Delivery driving — if you have a clean license, companies like UPS, USPS, and local couriers pay well and value reliability above almost everything.
• Facilities/maintenance — building maintenance, janitorial supervisory roles, groundskeeping. Often hire from retail backgrounds.
• Security guard — low barrier to entry, usually just a background check and a certification course.

The most important thing:

At 35 you have decades of working life ahead of you. A trade apprenticeship started now puts you at journeyman level by 40 with a skill that's hard to outsource. That's not too late — that's actually good timing.

What direction interests you most — physical/outdoor work, something more technical, driving, or something else? That would help narrow it down further.

How do I unfuck up my belief system?

I've always been an artsy kid. Music, writing, design...its always come pretty easy to me. I wanted to be a tattoo artist.

Then I got pushed into the whole stem thing.

I had a teacher from year 8 through my A-levels who had this "us vs them" mentality. STEM was superior. Everything else was "welp, these people need jobs". He put this thing in my head: my worth depends on my home, my grades, and how much I excel academically.

So I went from wanting to do art to needing to do software, mechanical, or aerospace engineering. Here's the thing: I'm not even bad at math and science. But I guess I'm burned out because I cant pick up a calc 1 book without going starting to hipeperventilate.

I went from an A student to all C's. No teacher asked what was wrong. I was so embarrassed I didn't want to show my face at school and was so glad once it was done. My friends had to pretty much drag me to graduation because I didn't feel like having to see my teachers again.

Then I went to university in the Netherlands at 17. Chose a career in the span of one month and balled with it. I hated it. Couldn't will myself to care for any of it. I felt like the dumbest person in the room at all times and didnt diserve to be there.

I think I actually worried myself sick enough because my appendix busted right before the first exam week and god knows I tanked the first module lol.

So I stopped going to class. I stopped leaving bed all together. By Christmas every single person that I knew told me to come back home and in spite of things I did just that.

I proved myself right once again: I'm bottom of the barrel and so mediocre it hurts.

Now I'm stuck. I've slowly started to question everything I ever thought I knew about myself and realized this mindset is toxic: STEM or nothing, excel or be no one, but I can't help it. It's like I've had my entire life sweeped from under my feet and I'm just freefalling.

I can't pursue what I love (animation, graphic design) because I'm terrified with the thought that maybe I just didn't try hard enough with STEM. And if I try again maybe it will stick this time.

Maybe Im just lazy and trying to justify my shortcoming with excuses.

Architecture or Industrial design would be a nice middle ground but NO, that's not good enough. I'm an entitled brat and nothing is ever good enough if it doesnt have a calc 3 exam with blood, sweat and tears. And I feel like I'll never be good enough. I already fucked up right at the start and I can't get back on my feet. I feel like I'm running out of time always. Another year to rethink my choices? Throw me into open traffick, it will be faster.

I wouldn't hold anyone else to this standard. But for myself, I have to excel. Because if I don't, I'm no one. It makes me so bitter.

I went into a little self-destruction spiral where I started drinking and smoking like an animal almost every weekend. I fucking hate both things but if there was a party, I was there.

If I were free of all this bullshit, I'd study animation or graphic design. I feel like I've already failed in life. I have a character problem and I'm probably just whiny because Im a brat. I just wish I could get my ideas straight for once. I'm so tired.

Jobadvisor

You're not a brat. You're not lazy. You're exhausted from carrying a belief system that was never yours to begin with — it was handed to you by someone who had no business shaping your entire sense of worth.

What you're describing makes complete sense. A teacher spent years telling you that your natural talents were second-class, and you internalized it so deeply that now you're the one saying it to yourself. That's not a character flaw. That's what happens when someone with authority repeats something to a kid long enough.

A few things I want to name directly:

The "maybe I just didn't try hard enough" trap is the cruelest part of this mindset. You pushed yourself into a field that didn't fit, at 17, in a foreign country, alone — and when it fell apart, you took it as proof of your inadequacy rather than proof that the path was wrong. That's the belief system talking, not reality.

You're not running out of time. You came home from the Netherlands. You're questioning the narrative. That's not failure — that's the beginning of actually figuring things out. Plenty of people spend decades not even getting this far.

The drinking and the parties — you already know what that was about. Numbing the noise. You don't need a lecture on it.

---

Here's the honest thing I want to say: what you're describing — the hyperventilating at a textbook, not leaving bed, the self-destruction spiral, feeling like you don't deserve to exist in a room — that's beyond a mindset problem. That's something that deserves real support, not just reframing.

Have you talked to anyone about this? A therapist, counselor, or even a GP? Not because something is wrong with you, but because you've been through a genuinely rough few years and you're trying to untangle it alone.

The path question (animation vs. engineering vs. architecture) is actually the easier problem. The harder one is quieting the voice that says you're nothing if you're not bleeding over a calc exam — and that one is really hard to do without help.

“Fast paced” is NOT a virtue and NOT what I want.

I’ve been job hunting for a few months now due to a PIP my boss has put me (and 75% of the rest of the team) on, and it’s due to speed. All the other jobs I’ve been searching for mention “fast paced” in their descriptions or “multitasking” as a requirement. I can’t help but wonder if these companies think that makes the position actually desirable to job seekers like me. I guess I appreciate the honesty, but this is literally the reason I’m trying to quit my current job. We’re all on PIPs because we aren’t fast enough. No one can reach the unrealistic quotas. Quantity is more important than quality.

I’ve been in other “high paced” jobs, and they’ve been miserable. I don’t multitask, and psychological studies have actually proven that the human brain can’t multitask. Yet every job I’ve applied for has that as a requirement.

Contrary to these employers’ assumptions, not everyone wants to work their butts off every day, feel exhausted at the end of the day, crash when they get home, and get burnt out after working there for a month.

Stress is bad and unhealthy. I don’t know why these companies advertise this “fast paced” description as if it were something good or desirable to potential employees. The job I just applied for is VERY different than my current one, but during the interview, the manager said, “This is a very fast-paced job.” And then my heart sank.

I don’t work well under stress. It isn’t that I’m lazy, stupid, or don’t want to work. I just want to work at my own pace. I want to make sure that one project has been completed accurately before I move on to a new one, instead of zooming through 50 projects at a time with 200 small mistakes.

Do jobs that aren’t “fast paced” even exist? Can I just type “slow paced” in the job search?

Jobadvisor

Your frustration is completely valid, and you've actually put your finger on something real: "fast-paced" has become a kind of default filler phrase in job postings that nobody really interrogates. You're right that it's rarely a selling point for candidates — it's just copied from template to template.

To answer your question directly: yes, slower-paced jobs exist, but you won't find them by searching "slow-paced" (nobody advertises that). Here's how to actually find them:

Look for these job types/sectors, which tend to structurally reward accuracy over speed:

• Archival, library, or records management work
• Technical writing or documentation
• Quality assurance / compliance roles
• Research roles (academic, government, think tanks)
• Accounting or bookkeeping (especially in small firms)
• Government or public sector jobs (these are famously deliberate in pace)
• Non-profit back-office roles
• Data entry or data integrity at smaller companies

Watch for these signals in postings that suggest a calmer culture:

• "Detail-oriented" as the primary trait listed (vs. "juggle multiple priorities")
• "Work independently" or "self-directed"
• Mention of deep focus work, documentation, or research
• Small team or small company (fewer moving parts)
• Absence of words like: dynamic, high-volume, fast-paced, multitasking, wear many hats

Red flag phrases to filter out:

• "Fast-paced environment"
• "Ability to multitask under pressure"
• "Thrive in ambiguity"
• "Wearing multiple hats"
• "High-volume"

During interviews, you can ask directly:

• "Can you describe a typical day in terms of how work flows in?"
• "How does the team handle competing deadlines?"
• "What does success look like in the first 90 days — volume, accuracy, both?"

These questions surface the truth without you having to say "I want a slow job."

You're also absolutely right about multitasking — the psychological research is consistent on this. What's called multitasking is really just rapid task-switching, and it degrades performance on all tasks involved. You're not describing a weakness; you're describing how brains actually work.

The job you want exists. It just requires filtering more deliberately than a keyword search can do on its own.