The Dating Recession Is Real—And It's Not What You Think
You'd think in an age of endless swiping and DM slides, dating would be easier than ever. But a new 2026 report from Brigham Young University's Wheatley Institute paints a surprisingly quiet picture: young adults aren't just struggling to find "the one"—many aren't even trying.
Welcome to the **dating recession**.
Based on a nationally representative survey of 5,275 unmarried Americans ages 22–35—the so-called "prime dating years"—researchers found that only **1 in 3** are actively dating (defined as going on at least one date per month). Yet a striking **86% still plan to marry someday**. That gap between aspiration and action is the heart of the crisis.
Why Aren't People Dating?
It's not fear of commitment. It's not that they've given up on love. The barriers are more practical—and more painful:
🔹 **Confidence collapse**
Just 33% of men and 20% of women say they feel comfortable approaching someone they're interested in. Many never built basic dating skills in their teens—when dating itself plummeted—and now face adulthood without a playbook.
🔹 **Breakup baggage**
Over half say past breakups make them reluctant to try again. Fewer than 1 in 3 believe they can stay positive after a bad relationship. As researcher Brian Willoughby notes: *"Having a bad date is challenging for modern young adults to move past… there are parallels here to a broader lack of resilience skills."*
🔹 **The price tag problem**
Dating isn't cheap. With a single dinner for two easily hitting $60–100, **58% of men and 46% of women** say they can't financially afford to date. Add subscription fees for apps, and romance starts looking like a luxury good.
What *Do* Young Adults Want?
Despite the hurdles, desire hasn't disappeared:
- 83% of women and 74% of men want dating culture to focus on **serious relationships**, not casual flings
- Top reasons for dating: emotional connection, self-discovery, and learning what they want in a partner
- 66% call marriage a life goal—though only 47% see it as a *current* priority
- The "ideal" marriage age? Around **30**—though most expect it won't happen until **33 (women) or 35 (men)**
Notably absent from the list of concerns: fear of losing freedom, worries about career disruption, or rejection of commitment itself. The problem isn't attitude—it's **execution**.
Bridging the Gap
The researchers call it a "marital-expectations vs. dating-skills gap." Young adults want connection but lack the tools to build it. Their prescription?
✅ Teaching how to approach someone you're interested in
✅ Building resilience after rejection or breakups
✅ Creative, low-cost date ideas beyond expensive dinners
✅ Framing dating as skill-building—not just luck or chemistry
As Jason Carroll, the study's lead author, puts it: *"Their desires and attitudes are not the problem. They want to build real human connections… but they could use some basic help in building dating skills."*
This isn't a generation giving up on love. It's a generation stuck between wanting partnership and lacking the confidence, cash, or know-how to pursue it. The dating recession isn't about apathy—it's about **inexperience meeting inflation**, with emotional resilience caught in the crossfire.
And until we treat dating like a learnable skill—not just something you "figure out"—that gap between wanting marriage and actually dating isn't going anywhere.
*Source: "The Dating Recession: How Bad Is It and What Can We Do?" – 2026 State of Our Unions Report, Wheatley Institute at BYU*