The Kids Who Can't Leave Home
College freshmen are calling home begging to come back. The problem isn't college — it's independence.
When I dropped my son at college, a dean warned parents: "Many of your kids will call wanting to come home."
Then came the phrase I hadn't heard since my kids were infants: "They'll learn to self-soothe."
Apparently, many never did.
The Trend
- TikTok is full of students fleeing campus within weeks
- One girl left because *walking across campus* "aggravated her health issues"
- Others cite roommates, homework, parties, mental health
- This isn't just online — kids are home every weekend, or dropping out entirely
The Real Question
Is the problem college — or adulthood?
If they hate football games, drinking, debt, or homework? Maybe it's the wrong school. Maybe they just want the degree. Community college or online works fine.
But if they can't handle:
- Living on their own
- Making phone calls
- Getting up on time
- Dealing with strangers
- Cleaning up after themselves
Then college isn't the problem. Independence is.
The Data
Young adults (25–29) living with parents:
| 2009 | 2023 |
|------|------|
| 17% | **43%** |
Living with a partner dropped from 56% to 29%.
The Fix
Decades of research say the same thing: **give kids responsibility early and often.**
It builds confidence. It teaches them to do hard things.
Whether that happens at college or elsewhere — it's time to stop soothing and start letting them find their own pacifier.