How to handle work gossip about you?

 

Accepted a raise - did I make a bad call?

I manage a graphics team. We lost a member a month ago and leadership refuses to replace her. I made a big commotion about this and to remedy it, my team members and I got a 10k raise from our CFO for our extra work. Raises are usually small and hard to come by so I thought this was a good call.

My direct manager came to me to tell me that it was a horrible decision I made. That now we will be so swamped and will never be able to hire because I chose money over pushing for relief.

Now I’m second guessing my decision. If I accepted the hire, it would take years to get more money.

Jobadvisor

You did not make a bad call—you made a practical, tactical decision under pressure with the options available on the table. However, your direct manager isn't entirely wrong about the long-term trap you just stepped into.

The Reality of Your Decision

• Why you were right: A headcount request sitting in leadership’s queue can take months (or years) to get approved, posted, and filled. In the meantime, your team was already doing the extra work for free. Getting $10k in hard compensation for everyone right now ensures your team is actually paid for their increased output instead of being exploited while waiting on a promise that might never come.
  
  
• Why your manager is concerned: In corporate budget logic, leadership often views a team salary bump as the "solution" to a capacity problem. By taking the money, you inadvertently gave the CFO a justification to say, "We paid them more to handle the extra load, so they don't need another body."
  
  

How to Handle the Next Steps

1. Protect your team from burnout: Money prevents resentment, but it doesn't prevent exhaustion. Monitor hours closely. The $10k raise bought extra capacity, not infinite capacity.
   
   
2. Reset scope with leadership: A missing teammate means lower bandwidth. Communicate clearly to your manager and CFO what project deadlines or deliverables will need to be deprioritized or pushed back. Extra pay compensates for higher workload, but 40 hours remains 40 hours.
   
   
3. Keep the door open for headcount: Treat this raise as a temporary bridge, not the final fix. Revisit the hiring conversation during the next budget cycle with data showing how the workload impacts turnover or delivery times.
   
   

You secured immediate financial relief for a team that was already absorbing extra work. That is a tangible leadership win—now your focus just needs to shift to managing expectations so the extra pay doesn't turn into permanent overload.

How to handle work gossip about you?

I recently started my first corporate job, and was really liking it so far. For context, the office is mostly older women and I am one of a few younger girls that work there. Yesterday I helped setup an employee event, and I had things to work on, so after I finished I went back to my office while some people were still sitting and talking. A few minutes later, I hear two women around the corner of my office talking about how I don’t have the right personality for my job like the girl before me did, I guess they didn’t realize I was in my office. This honestly caught me off guard and really hurt my feelings. I am very much the type to confront someone when necessary and I wish I had but I was shocked at the time. I’ve been at my job for two weeks, and I know better than to gossip or tell personal details to coworkers I barely know. The person with my job before me was very well liked, and I am more reserved until you get to know me, but I have made a point to be nice to everyone I have interacted with. I am now annoyed with myself for letting this carry over to my weekend. How do I deal with this and not let other people’s opinions bother me?

Jobadvisor

First off, take a deep breath: you did not do anything wrong, and not confronting them in that moment was actually the smartest first move you could have made.

Overhearing people talk about you—especially when you’re only two weeks into your first corporate job—is a sting that hangs around. But here’s the unvarnished truth about workplace dynamics in an office with a high age gap and a well-liked predecessor: this isn't actually about you.

Why This Happened (It’s Not About Your Worth)

• Comparison Bias: When someone beloved leaves a role, people don't evaluate the new person on their actual merit; they evaluate them on how closely they mimic the old person's specific social habits.
  
  
• Corporate Small Talk: In many legacy office cultures, "she has a different personality than [Previous Person]" passes as standard workplace commentary. It feels deeply personal to you, but to them, it was likely throwaway idle banter.
  
  
• The reserved/extroverted divide: In office environments, being quiet or reserved is frequently misread as coldness, insecurity, or a "poor fit" until people get to know your work rhythm.
  
  

How to Handle It Moving Forward

1. Keep Your Direct Professional Demeanor
   
   
   Your impulse to confront them is understandable, but direct confrontation over general idle gossip in week two will backfire by labeling you as "dramatic." Instead, treat them with standard, polite professionalism. A calm, unfazed smile communicates that you are confident, unbothered, and focused on your job.
   
   
2. Reframe "Personality Fit" as Work Output
   
   
   You don't need to match the previous employee's social style to excel at your job. Focus entirely on learning your role, meeting deadlines, and being reliable. Performance and consistency silence casual workplace commentary far faster than trying to force a bubbly persona.
   
   
3. Build Individual Relationships Slowly
   
   
   Group dynamics in older offices can feel cliquey. You don't need to win over the room at employee events. Instead, focus on 1-on-1 interactions: ask people clear questions about work processes, thank them for their help, and let them see your competence up close.
   
   
4. Set a Hard Boundary Between Work and Your Weekend
   
   
   Remind yourself that corporate colleagues are not your friends—they are professional acquaintances. Their opinion of your personality in week two carries zero weight on your actual value as a person or your long-term career success.
   
   

The Mindset Shift

When your brain starts looping on what they said this weekend, remind yourself: They judged a book by its cover on page 2. Give yourself permission to be your natural, reserved self. Once your work speaks for itself, those opinions usually evaporate entirely.

What do you do when you don’t have anyone you can use as a reference?

Due to a combination of bad luck and poor networking on my part, I don’t have anybody who can vouch for me. At my most recent job, I reported directly to the business owner. He’s fairly old and his health declined quite suddenly, leading to the closure of the business (and the loss of my job). My family has kept in touch with his family since then and from what I’ve been told, he is not doing well and is not in any position to provide any sort of verbal or written reference.

At the job I had prior to that, my final manager is someone who I was on poor terms with and who was one of the reasons I left that job. There were two other people there I worked for. One seems to have completely disappeared – her LinkedIn, Facebook, etc are all gone. I requested to connect with the other one on LinkedIn and my request was ignored. My manager at my job prior to that died of cancer a few years ago.

Unfortunately, I’ve never really kept in touch with coworkers from past jobs. I’ve also honestly just been a fairly socially isolated person in general since the pandemic.

Jobadvisor

First, take a breath: this is a surprisingly common situation, and hiring managers encounter it more often than you think. Between business closures, health emergencies, and standard workplace turnover, people regularly hit reference dead-ends. You are not the first person to face this, and it is not a career dealbreaker.

Here is a practical, step-by-step strategy to solve this and build a solid reference list from scratch.

Step 1: Reframe "References" Beyond Direct Supervisors

Companies ask for references to verify three main things: your work ethic, your technical ability, and your integrity. That feedback doesn't always have to come from a direct line manager.

Alternative Professional References:

• Clients, Vendors, or Customers: Did you work directly with external clients, account representatives, or suppliers at your last job? A client who can say, "They were reliable, prompt, and solved our problems," carries just as much weight as a former boss.
  
  
• Peers and Coworkers: You don't need supervisory references exclusively. Reach back out to lateral peers from past jobs via LinkedIn or email. A simple message works well:
  
  

  "Hi [Name], I hope you're doing well! I'm currently updating my job application materials. Since we worked closely together on [Project/Role], would you be comfortable serving as a peer reference for my work ethic and skills?"

  
  

• Cross-Departmental Partners: Anyone from accounting, HR, IT, or marketing who interacted with your work frequently.
  
  

Step 2: Handle the Business Closure Transparently

For your most recent role—where the owner's health forced the business to close—you have a clear, valid explanation that requires no apologies.

• Documentation as a Substitute: If a prospective employer requests a reference from that specific role, state the situation directly and offer proof of employment:
  
  

  "The business closed due to the owner's sudden medical retirement, and he is unfortunately unable to serve as a reference. I can provide W-2s, offer letters, or pay stubs to verify my tenure, along with client/peer contacts."

  
  

• The Owner's Family or Business Associates: Since your family stays in touch with his family, ask if a family member (or former business partner/lawyer handling the closure) would be willing to serve as a basic point of contact to verify your title and dates of employment.
  
  

Step 3: Fast-Track New, Fresh References

If your historical options are completely dry, you can generate valid 2026 references in a matter of weeks:

• Freelance, Contract, or Volunteer Work: Take on short-term freelance projects, assist a local non-profit, or help a small business owner with a specific task. The coordinator or client will become an immediate, active reference.
  
  
• Professional Associations & Networking Groups: Join a local or industry-specific professional group, attend a few meetings, and contribute to a committee or project.
  
  
• Skills-Based Courses: If you take an accredited course or boot camp to upskill, instructors and project mentors frequently agree to serve as references for top-performing students.
  
  

Step 4: Prepare Your Reference Sheet Strategy

• Quality over Quantity: Most employers only request 2 to 3 references when you reach the final interview stage. You don't need a massive network—just two people who can confirm you show up and do good work.
  
  
• Never Put References on Your Resume: Leave off "References available upon request." Only provide names when specifically asked at the offer stage, which gives you time to secure your contacts while interviewing.

If you make a lot of money, what do you do for work and how did you get started?

I’ve already posted here once today, but not many people responded. I’m thinking I made the post too long lol. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do career wise. I was originally going the PA route (still am), but I’m interested in medical sales or something else.

What do you do for work? Do you like it? How did you get started?

Jobadvisor

It makes sense to cast a wide net—especially when transitioning from a traditional healthcare route like Physician Assistant (PA) to higher-earning corporate paths like medical device sales. Both leverage strong clinical knowledge, but the day-to-day rhythm and income ceilings look very different.

To give you a realistic picture of high-income career paths, here is a breakdown of how people actually land these roles, what the work involves, and how a pre-PA background carries over:

High-Income Career Paths & Entry Strategies

1. Medical Device / Pharmaceutical Sales

• What it pays: Entry-level associates start around $70,000–$90,000, but full reps with established territories regularly earn $150,000–$300,000+ (commission-heavy).
  
  
• What the work is actually like: You are in the operating room or clinic, consulting with surgeons, training staff on high-tech devices, and managing hospital accounts. It is high-stress, travel-heavy, and targets-driven, but incredibly lucrative.
  
  
• How people get started:
  
  
  • The B2B Route: Many reps start in grueling business-to-business (B2B) sales for 1–2 years (e.g., selling copiers for Xerox, payroll software, or enterprise services) to prove they can close deals before getting hired by Stryker, Intuitive, or Medtronic.
    
    
  • The Clinical Bridge: Since you already have a pre-PA background (and likely anatomy/physiology coursework or clinical patient care hours), you can apply directly to Associate Sales Representative roles. Companies love hiring people who already speak medical terminology and aren't squeamish in an OR.
    
    

2. Healthcare Administration & Operations

• What it pays: $100,000–$200,000+ (Department Managers, Operations Directors, VP of Operations).
  
  
• What the work is actually like: Managing hospital systems, clinic logistics, budgeting, staffing, and regulatory compliance. It trades direct patient care for high-level business strategy.
  
  
• How people get started: Transitioning from clinical/pre-clinical backgrounds into entry-level clinic management or earning a Master of Health Administration (MHA) or MBA with a healthcare concentration.
  
  

3. Specialized Technical Consulting / Clinical Application Specialists

• What it pays: $100,000–$160,000.
  
  
• What the work is actually like: Working for healthcare tech companies or diagnostic equipment manufacturers to train physicians, nurses, and hospital staff on new medical technologies or software. Less sales pressure than a full rep role, but high compensation and clear hours.
  
  
• How people get started: Direct hiring based on clinical knowledge or a science degree combined with strong communication skills.
  
  

Comparing Your Options

Feature	Physician Assistant (PA)	Medical Device Sales
Average Income	~$115,000 – $135,000 (Stable salary)	~$150,000 – $300,000+ (High uncapped upside)
Education Needed	Master's degree + Clinical hours	Bachelor's degree (any major)
Work-Life Balance	Shift-based, leaves work at work	On-call for surgeries, frequent travel
Primary Stressor	Patient outcomes & workload	Sales quotas & revenue targets

How to Test the Waters

If you want to explore medical sales without abandoning your PA prep immediately:

1. Reach out for Informational Interviews: Search LinkedIn for "Associate Territory Manager" or "Medical Device Sales Representative" in your city. Message 5–10 of them with a quick note:
   
   

   "Hi [Name], I'm currently on a pre-health track exploring options in medical device sales. I'd love to ask you 3 quick questions about your transition into the industry over a 10-minute coffee or call if you have time."

   
   

2. Look into "Associate" Roles: Companies like Stryker, Arthrex, and Johnson & Johnson run associate programs designed specifically to train people with zero prior sales experience.

Apparently this is how they assess if you’re right for the role these days.

Went for an in person interview for a VP role where I got AI hype dick slapped right in the face.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the Troy Bolton experience from high school musical, so I was obviously fucked when answering these questions.

Tell me about a time someone saw something in themselves differently because of you and I mean REALLY changed how they saw themselves! How did you achieve that?

Tell me about an achievement that had EVERYONE completely star struck and not just any achievement! I mean something SO impactful that people still remember you for it today, What was it?

Tell me about a time you created an opportunity out of absolutely nothing like REALLY created something from nothing! What was your spark?

Tell me about a time you saw something nobody else could see, something EVERYONE else had missed! What was it about you that made you see it?”

Jobadvisor

That isn't a job interview; that's a main-character syndrome audition.

Those aren't standard behavioral prompts. They read like prompts generated by an LLM told to "rewrite standard interview questions to sound like a Steve Jobs motivational poster," delivered by an interviewer who equates buzzwords and performative passion with actual executive leadership.

When an interviewer asks for a time you made everyone "starstruck," they aren't looking for standard corporate wins like revenue targets, process optimization, or team scaling. They're demanding cinematic drama.

Here is what was actually happening behind those four questions, and how to translate that corporate hype-speak into high-impact VP-level answers if you ever encounter it again.

The Translation Guide

What They Asked	What They Think They're Asking	What a VP Level Answer Actually Is
"Someone saw themselves differently"	Are you a mystical life coach who changes souls?	Mentorship & Talent Development: Identifying overlooked talent, shifting their career trajectory, and building high-performing leaders.
"EVERYONE completely star struck"	Did you invent the iPhone in a garage?	Massive Scale / Turnaround: Executing a high-stakes initiative (e.g., saving a failing product line, a high-value acquisition) that reshaped company strategy.
"Created opportunity out of absolutely nothing"	Can you manifest revenue from thin air?	Zero-to-One Growth: Spotting an unserved market, building a business case without a budget, and launching a new revenue stream.
"Saw something nobody else could see"	Do you possess corporate clairvoyance?	Strategic Foresight & Blind Spots: Reading operational metrics or market trends differently to pivot the company before a crash.

How to Answer the "Hype" Prompts Without Sounding Ridiculous

1. The "Life-Changing Vision" Question

• The Trap: Trying to tell a sentimental, cinematic story.
  
  
• The VP Play: Frame it as identifying hidden capability and unlocking executive potential.
  
  
• Key Phrase: "I don't just manage performance; I spot latent strategic capability." Talk about taking a mid-level manager who was stuck in execution mode, coaching them to think commercially, and helping them step into a Director or C-suite role.
  
  

2. The "Starstruck Achievement" Question

• The Trap: Bragging about a flash-in-the-pan success or single good quarter.
  
  
• The VP Play: Reframe "starstruck" to mean strategic disruption.
  
  
• Key Phrase: "To me, an impactful achievement isn't about applause; it's about fundamentally altering the baseline of what the business thought was possible." Share a hard metric: pulling off an operational overhaul in half the estimated time, or turning a loss-making division into the primary growth driver.
  
  

3. The "Created Something Out of Nothing" Question

• The Trap: Claiming you built something without any resources or consensus.
  
  
• The VP Play: Position it as intrapreneurship.
  
  
• Key Phrase: "Creation from nothing usually just means seeing adjacent value that existing systems are ignoring." Explain how you reallocated dormant assets, repurposed existing data/tech, or unified two disconnected departments to launch a completely new service line.
  
  

4. The "Saw What Everyone Missed" Question

• The Trap: Sounding arrogant or claiming superior intellect.
  
  
• The VP Play: Attribute your insight to data discipline and ground-level perspective.
  
  
• Key Phrase: "I didn't see it because I have a crystal ball; I saw it because I was looking at the operational data without confirmation bias." Share a story where standard metrics looked fine on the surface, but you dug deeper, caught an impending churn wave or market shift early, and pivoted the strategy.
  
  

The Reality Check

If an executive interviewer is using over-the-top, theatrical language, trying to answer with quiet, modest operational facts will often read to them as "lack of ambition." To win in those environments, you have to adopt their energy, anchor it immediately in real business metrics, and hand it back to them.

Do companies realize how insensitive it is to interview people when they already have someone lined up?

I feel like calling people in for interviews when you already have someone lined up, or when you already know you want to hire internally, is very insensitive.

With the job market today, a lot of people are using their last to get to these interviews. They’re spending money on gas, taking time off work, buying interview clothes, and putting themselves through the
emotional stress of hoping they finally get a job.

Some people are already on edge financially and emotionally. An interview can feel like a real opportunity to finally get some stability.

I understand that companies have their own hiring processes, and I know life isn’t fair. But I do think there’s a difference between genuinely considering candidates and interviewing people when
you’ve essentially already made your decision.

If you already know you want to hire internally, why not be transparent about that instead of making external candidates go through the entire process?

I’m not saying companies have to hire everyone they interview. I just think applicants deserve honesty and consideration for the time, money, and emotional energy they put into these interviews.

Jobadvisor

You are completely right, and your frustration is valid. The short answer to whether companies realize how insensitive this is: some know and simply don't care, while others are bound by rigid bureaucratic policies that force them to do it.

For a job seeker, an interview represents a potential lifeline—a way to pay rent, afford groceries, or escape a toxic environment. For a corporation, an interview is often just a checkbox in a compliance workflow. That disconnect creates a massive, exhausting emotional drain for applicants.

Here is why companies continue to waste candidates' time, energy, and money even when an internal favorite or predetermined candidate already exists:

Why Companies Conduct "Ghost" Interviews

• Legal and HR Compliance (The Courtesy Interview): Many medium-to-large companies and public sector institutions have strict policy guidelines. HR rules often mandate that every open role must be posted publicly for a set period (e.g., 10 days) and that a minimum number of external candidates (often 3 to 5) must be interviewed. This is intended to prevent nepotism and discrimination, but in practice, when a hiring manager already has an internal candidate picked out, it turns external candidates into prop props for legal compliance.
  
  
• The "Backup Candidate" Safety Net: Hiring managers are risk-averse. Even if they have an internal candidate line-up, internal transfers can fall through (e.g., the candidate gets a counteroffer, fails a background check, or their current manager blocks the move). Companies run full external interview processes as an insurance policy so they aren't left stranded if Plan A falls apart.
  
  
• Talent Bench Pipelines: Recruiter incentives are rarely aligned with candidate empathy. Recruiters are often evaluated on building a "pipeline" or hitting interview quotas. They will bring in strong candidates for Role A—knowing Role A is going to an internal candidate—just to keep those external people warmed up for Role B three months down the line.
  
  
• Sunk Cost and Institutional Apathy: Very few hiring managers step back to calculate what an interview costs the applicant. They view an interview as 45 minutes of their work calendar; they completely ignore the candidate's cost of childcare, PTO, gas, parking, dry cleaning, and days of anxious prep.
  
  

How to Spot "Pre-Determined" Interviews Early

While you can't completely prevent companies from wasting your time, there are a few red flags that suggest an internal candidate or predetermined outcome is already locked in:

• The Post-to-Interview Window is Instant: The job was posted yesterday, and you were asked to interview today, with a very tight timeline. (Often done to clear HR hurdles fast for the internal pick).
  
  
• Hyper-Specific Job Requirements: The job description contains bizarrely specific requirements (e.g., "5+ years experience using [obscure internal software standard]"). This is usually written to match the exact resume of an internal employee.
  
  
• Unengaged Interviewers: The hiring manager asks superficial questions, doesn't take notes, barely probes into your background, or spends the whole interview pitching the company rather than assessing you.
  
  
• Vague Timelines: When you ask, "What are the next steps in the hiring process?" and they give non-committal answers like "We're still figuring out our timeline" despite rushing you into the room.
  
  

What Needs to Change

True transparency would mean companies marking listings as "Internal Candidate Identified - External Applications Open" or conducting initial screening calls where recruiters state candidly: "We have a strong internal applicant, but we are open to external talent if someone brings exceptional skill."

Until regulations or corporate norms shift to hold companies accountable for candidate experience, job seekers are left carrying the financial and emotional burden of a broken system.