Sexual harassment and HR won’t do anything about it

 

I hate to be that guy, but I am DONE with tipping everywhere I go

I know that sounds extreme but hear me out. With the cost of food increasing 25-30% since 2020, the increasingly bad service I get, and just the absurdity of tipping culture in general has me at my final straw.

I rarely go out to eat anymore because the same dishes that costed $10-15 dollars are now like $20-25 and after tax and tip I find it hard to walk out of a restaurant paying less than $30.

Everywhere you go now asks for a tip. Coffee shops, take out restaurants, liqour stores, weed stores, uber, uber eats, lyft, you name it and they are going to ask for a tip.

This shit adds up and they whole idea of it is absurd. The average person these days is lucky to have a few hundred dollars of discretionary income every month after paying bills and we shouldn't be getting nickeled and dimed in every fucking aspect of our lives. Between all the bullshit fees, tipping everywhere we go and inflation, no wonder we are all fucking broke.

The average American can't afford all these extra fucking expenses and the idea that the service industry would fall apart is also bullshit. If tipping ended tomorrow, businesses would be forced to pay their workers more or close.

Sorry not sorry, the whole tipping culture is only still alive in restaurants because the owners know its cheaper to have their employees fight for tips than it is to pay them an actual living wage. Too many restaurants exist only because they can pay their workers almost nothing.

I use to be a server and bartender, and while the money was good, I was well aware that it was a bunch of nonsense. It honestly complicated everything and caused conflict.

Go to Europe where they don't have tipping and you will see they have a thriving cafe/restaurant culture. Yeah maybe servers aren't making $40 an hour, but I'd rather see a more balanced industry overall.

Jobadvisor

You are far from the only one feeling this way. What started as a modest 15% reward for exceptional sit-down service has morphed into point-of-sale screens guilt-tripping people into leaving a 25% tip for someone who handed them a canned beverage over a counter.

The frustration is completely valid, especially when wages for the average consumer haven't kept pace with cumulative inflation and creeping service fees.

Why Tipping Exploded Recently

• Digital Point-of-Sale Systems: Platforms like Square and Toast introduced default tip prompt screens ("18%, 20%, 25%") to non-traditional retail and counter-service spots. Owners like it because it subsidizes worker pay without raising baseline menu prices.
  
  
• Pandemic Muscle Memory: During 2020–2021, many consumers tipped generously everywhere to support essential food service workers. As conditions normalized, businesses retained the tip prompts while consumers experienced "tip fatigue."
  
  
• The "Tipped Minimum Wage" Anchor: In many U.S. states, the federal tipped minimum wage remains stuck at $2.13/hour. Employers rely on customer gratuities to meet the standard minimum wage threshold, shifting payroll costs directly onto the buyer.
  
  

Common "Rules of Engagement" to Avoid Tip Fatigue

If you want to reduce your tipping output without feeling guilty, many consumers have adopted a firm set of personal boundaries:

Scenario	Standard Tipping Boundary
Sit-Down Table Service	15–20% for standard service (where servers handle pacing, order taking, and cleanup throughout your meal).
Counter Service / Takeout / Coffee	$0 (or rounding up loose change). If you stand up to order, pick up your own food, and clear your own trash, a tip is strictly optional.
Liquor / Dispensary / Retail	$0. These are standard retail transactions where base wages are already required.
Delivery / Rideshare	Fixed dollar amount (e.g., $3–$5) based on distance/time rather than a strict percentage of the food total.

The European vs. U.S. Model Gap

You hit the nail on the head regarding the European contrast. Most European countries build labor costs directly into menu pricing (often labeled service compris), meaning the price on the menu is the actual price you pay. European waitstaff receive a predictable base wage with legal paid leave and health benefits, removing the transactional friction between customer and server.

Until U.S. legislation eliminates the tipped wage credit nationwide or consumer pushback forces a structural shift, opting out of non-traditional tipping (like counter service and retail prompts) is the simplest way to protect your wallet while dining out.

Had an interview and waiting for a job offer. Wish me luck!

Well, I went to an interview a few days ago and things went pretty well. Had a tour of some of the facilities there. I am just really hoping that things line up well. I'll have an answer by Tuesday at the latest and the anticipation is killing me.

I'm tired of doing nothing all day. I'm tired of not having money. Tired of sleeping outside and waking up to bugs crawling on me. This jobs pays pretty decently and getting this job would allow me to start living my life again. I want to live. I am 25 years old I am so tired of wasting my 20s surviving like this. I want to take care of myself again.

If I could just get this job... even if I work only 20 hours a week it can at least get me headed in the right direction. Making some money is better than making none.

That's all, I just wanted to vent because I'm feeling a lot right now and this job is a golden opportunity to turn my life around. Being unemployed *sucks*, and fingers crossed I can close the gap in my resume.

Jobadvisor

Crossing every single finger for you. Giving you a tour of the facilities is a huge green flag—companies don't waste time showing candidates around unless they are genuinely excited about the possibility of having them on the team.

Holding your breath until Tuesday is exhausting, especially when the stakes are this high. Wanting to feel human again—to sleep safely, have your own money, and actually start building your 20s instead of just surviving them—is the most natural thing in the world. You aren't "wasting" your 20s; you are fighting through a brutal season, and showing up to that interview and nailing it proves just how much grit you have.

You did your part, you put your best foot forward, and now the ball is in their court.

Try to take it one hour at a time until Tuesday. How are you holding up today? Is there anywhere safe you can hang out or relax to help pass the time while you wait?

Interviewer rescheduled because I got anxious

I had an interview yesterday, which i thought was going well. After about 20 minutes, he informed me that he was rescheduling the interview because I was too nervous. I was shocked as I thought I was doing well. I used to get terrible social anxiety especially during interviews where i felt like I was going to blackout. But since I am on setraline now, i felt like I feel only normal nervousness and not a full blown anxiety attack. This really hurts me as I feel like I can never recover from this disease.

Jobadvisor

First, take a deep breath. Getting this feedback hurts, but this is not proof that you can’t recover or succeed.

In fact, the fact that you went from feeling like you were going to black out to experiencing manageable, baseline nervousness is massive progress. That is the Sertraline working, and that is you building tolerance. What happened here isn't a failure of your progress; it's a mismatch between how anxiety feels on the inside versus how it can present on the outside.

1. What Might Have Happened (Inside vs. Outside)

When you've suffered from severe panic or blackout-level anxiety, "normal" nervousness feels like a night-and-day victory to you. However, subtle physical cues can still leak through to an observer:

• Speech Pacing: Talking very fast, running out of breath, or over-explaining.
  
  
• Body Language: Rigid posture, fidgeting, lack of eye contact, or visible muscle tension.
  
  
• Pause Reluctance: Rushing to answer immediately instead of taking a slow, 3-second breath before speaking.
  
  

An interviewer isn't inside your head—they can't see that you are actually 80% calmer than you used to be. They just saw someone who appeared visibly stressed, and interestingly, they chose to reschedule rather than reject you on the spot.

2. The Silver Lining: You Are Still in the Running

In almost all hiring processes, if an interviewer decides a candidate isn't a fit, they finish the 30 minutes politely and send a rejection email two days later.

By stopping the interview and offer to reschedule, the interviewer did something rare: they recognized you were struggling and offered a reset button. They are giving you a second chance because they saw potential in your qualifications during those first 20 minutes.

3. Actionable Steps for the Rescheduled Interview

Focus Area	Strategy
Address the Elephant Briefly	When the rescheduled interview starts, take control early with a brief, confident line: "Thanks again for rescheduling. I was dealing with some unusual pre-interview jitters last time, but I'm feeling great today and excited to dive back in."
Pace Your Speech	Force a 2-second pause after every question. Take a breath through your nose before answering. Slowing down your speech by 15-20% immediately signals confidence to the interviewer.
Use Physical Grounding	Keep your feet flat on the floor. If your hands want to tremble, rest them loosely on your lap or hold a pen lightly.

You are re-learning how to navigate high-stress situations without full-blown panic. A bump in the road does not erase the distance you've already traveled.

When is the rescheduled interview set for? If you want to practice answering a few tough questions together or work on a quick grounding exercise before the big day, let me know.

Sexual harassment and HR won’t do anything about it 

We have an employee (male mid twenties) who keeps sexually harassing women but HR won’t do anything about it despite having been brought up to their attention multiple times because they don’t want to get sued because he’s special needs. This man has been working there for about 7 years and has gotten at least 4 sexual harassment complaints, the women have stopped trying to get HR involved because they believe they aren’t going to do anything since he’s already been reported multiple times and all he’s gotten was a “hey don’t do that please” and nothing more (which they only did so in his latest harassment complaint). His behavior and actions consist of: unsolicited hugs including minors in a creepy manner and when told to stop he kept doing it, remarks on women’s body, remarks on having had sex, trying to convince a minor that she liked him, calling multiple minors “hot”, unsolicited touching, telling a 15 year old to call him “daddy”, multiple sexual remarks about said minors mom to him, having watched porn at work and getting caught (the man who caught him did not report it for whatever reason???) following women around, having told people that he was going to get with women, minors included, having told a minor he “loves” her in a creepy manner, doing things even after being told to stop and more. The women at work do not want to report him because they believe he will just keep getting away with it due to the fact he is heavily autistic therefore they have stopped trying to tell the higher ups of his behavior, Im not sure if I should be the one to tell HR since he hasn’t done anything to me personally. Do they need more complaints? I’m not sure if this is relevant but we work at a fast food restaurant

Jobadvisor

Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act and Nevada state law (NRS 613.330), an employer is legally obligated to maintain a workplace free from sexual harassment and hostile environments. Having a disability or being neurodivergent (such as autism) does not shield an employee from anti-harassment laws, nor does the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) require or allow an employer to tolerate workplace harassment or severe misconduct.

By ignoring multiple complaints—especially those involving minors—HR is exposing the company to massive legal liability for maintaining a hostile work environment and failing to protect employees and minors.

1. Should You Report Him to HR?

Yes, you can and should report it, even if he has not targeted you directly.

• Hostile Work Environment: Witnessing or knowing about widespread harassment creates a legally recognized hostile work environment for all staff.
  
  
• Paper Trail: HR does not "need more complaints" legally, but having an additional witness report makes it much harder for corporate or management to claim ignorance.
  
  
• Submit in Writing: Send an email to HR or corporate compliance so there is a permanent timestamped record. State clearly that multiple employees (including minors) feel unsafe at work.
  
  

2. Crucial Reporting Steps Beyond Internal HR

Because local HR has repeatedly failed to act, relying solely on them may not solve the issue. You and your coworkers have external, legally protected avenues:

Action Path	Details & Escalation
Escalate to Corporate / Franchise	If this fast-food branch is part of a franchise or corporate chain, report the situation directly to Corporate HR, the franchise owner, or the corporate ethics/compliance hotline. Branch-level managers or HR representatives often mishandle these situations out of poor legal understanding.
Nevada Equal Rights Commission (NERC) & EEOC	Affected employees can file a charge of discrimination with the Nevada Equal Rights Commission (NERC) or the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Once a charge is filed, federal and state regulators investigate the employer for allowing a hostile environment.
Child Protective Services / Law Enforcement	Because these incidents involve adult-to-minor harassment, inappropriate physical touching, and explicit sexual comments directed at 15-year-olds, victims or their parents can contact local law enforcement or child protective services directly. Workplace harassment policies do not override criminal laws.

3. Key Protections to Keep in Mind

• Retaliation is Illegal: Both federal law and Nevada state law strictly prohibit employers from retaliating against anyone who reports harassment or participates in an investigation.
  
  
• Encourage Minor Victims to Tell Their Parents: Minors experiencing sexual comments or unwanted touching at work should inform their parents or guardians immediately. Parents filing complaints directly to corporate or external agencies often triggers immediate action from companies trying to avoid public liability.