I’m 29, unemployed, living with my parents, and honestly I feel like I’m starting my life over
I’m 29 years old, have a bachelor’s degree, and currently unemployed and living with my parents. I’ve applied to 500+ jobs over the past while, and honestly, getting almost no response has been really frustrating.
I thought I’d share some background because my situation probably sounds pretty weird without context.
A few years ago, I was studying in the US and working toward becoming a pilot. Flying was something I genuinely loved and had worked really hard for. But during my commercial checkride, I had a manic/psychotic episode and ended up hospitalized for about a month. I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and because of what happened, I couldn’t continue my flight training or finish my career as a pilot.
Despite that setback, I finished my bachelor’s degree and graduated. I came back to Saudi Arabia and later applied for a government officer training program. I didn’t disclose my bipolar diagnosis during the application process, and I was accepted. I went through about 12 months of training, and I was actually close to graduating.
Then I had another manic episode. At that point, I was completely out of touch with reality and genuinely believed I was some kind of king. Eventually, I resigned from the program.
After that, life kind of went downhill. I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for about two years, but we eventually broke up. Since 2024, I’ve been living with my parents.
For a long time, I honestly wasn’t fully myself. It took me until recently to really wake up, get my head straight, and realize that I need to start rebuilding my life.
For the past couple of months, I’ve been trying to get my life back on track. I’m applying for jobs, trying to figure out what career path makes sense for me, and trying to become independent again.
But being 29, having a degree, having had all these plans for my life, and now being unemployed and living with my parents while getting rejected or ignored by hundreds of companies… it honestly sucks.
Sometimes I feel like I wasted years of my life and that I’m way behind everyone else.
I know I’ve been through things that were outside of my control, and I also know I made some bad decisions along the way. I’m not looking for sympathy. I guess I just want to hear from people who have had to completely rebuild their lives in their late 20s or 30s.
Jobadvisor
This is a lot to be carrying, and the fact that you're two months into actively rebuilding — after two manic episodes, a hospitalization, a derailed pilot career, a resignation from a program you were close to finishing, and a breakup — says something real about you. That's not nothing.
A few things stand out to me from what you wrote.
The "behind everyone else" math is off. You're comparing your timeline to people who didn't have a serious psychiatric illness interrupt their twenties. That's not a fair comparison, and it's also not that useful — bipolar disorder is a medical condition, not a character flaw or a wasted decade. Plenty of people rebuild solid careers starting at 29, 32, 35. Late starts because of illness are common enough that they're barely a late start in the scheme of a working life that'll span 35-40 more years.
The job search itself might have a specific, fixable problem. 500+ applications with almost no response usually points to something structural — resume not getting past ATS filters, applying to roles mismatched with your actual background, or a gap in your work history that's not addressed anywhere. That's a solvable problem, separate from the bigger "who am I now" question. If you want, I can look at your resume or your approach and give you concrete feedback.
One thing worth naming directly: you mentioned not disclosing your diagnosis to the government program, and then having a manic episode mid-training. I'm not saying that to lecture you — you know how that went. But as you think about what career path makes sense now, it's worth thinking about what kind of work and environment actually supports stability for you long-term, not just what looks impressive on paper. Are you currently connected with a psychiatrist or treatment plan? That's not a side issue to the "rebuilding my life" project — it's probably the foundation the rest of it stands on.
What does your current treatment situation look like, and what kind of work are you finding yourself applying to?
Lost, No desires, No degree, no income, still live with parents, feel empty?
I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I've been stuck like this for almost my whole life. I’m not sure how it started, but I lost the passion I had for things after I graduated high school in 2017. Now, at 27, I feel hopeless about myself. I faced shame from family members and others when I decided college wasn’t for me—not because I hate college, but because I struggle to focus in class. I daydream a lot, procrastinate, lose interest quickly, and sometimes forget things in an instant. I often cried due to feeling overwhelmed. This struggle has been a lifelong issue; I switched schools seven times during my childhood because I had difficulty with classes and academics. (i do suffer from adhd/depression/anxiety)
I didn’t want to deal with that again in college, especially not while being in debt. I used to have a passion for art, particularly fine arts, doll making, 3D modeling, games, and creating original characters, but I stopped doing that years ago. Additionally, finding a job has been hard for me. I haven’t had a job in seven years, and while I’ve tried to rephrase and embellish my resume, it hasn’t worked. The only real job I had was working at the front desk of a summer camp at a recreation center. Since then, I've been babysitting relatives in my family, which I no longer want to do—it was an incredibly challenging experience. (not working daycare)
It’s not that I don’t want to work; I do. However, I tend to lose interest in jobs quickly. I prefer hands-on learning and crafty work, but something new every other week at least, like art, but I don’t see many opportunities for that in my area. Most jobs in my city are in the shipyard, trade, or tech industries, and many other positions require a degree, which I am not prepared to pursue.
I felt like my childhood until I was 23 was filled with colorful rainbows in a whimsical world, but in reality, everything feels grey and boring.
Jobadvisor
Phase 1: Mindset Adjustments
- Separate Lack of Interest from Anhedonia: What feels like "no desires" right now is likely clinical depression and burnout, not your true personality. When depression is active, the brain's reward centers dial down, making previously loved things (art, 3D modeling, creation) feel flat. Your passion isn't dead; it's dormant under exhaustion.
- Ditch the "Linear Career" Myth: A traditional 30-year career path rarely works for ADHD minds. Instead of searching for "the one job," reframe your goal around project-based work, variety, and low-friction entries. You need novelty, hands-on tasks, and visual or tangible outcomes.
- Drop the Shame of Living at Home: Living with family while navigating neurodivergence and health challenges is a structural baseline, not a personal failure. Use the shelter it provides as a runway to experiment safely without the immediate threat of total financial ruin.
Phase 2: Bridging the Employment & Skill Gap
1. Low-Barrier Jobs That Match ADHD & Hands-On Traits
- Event Setup / Staging / Floral Design Assistance: Event production companies, wedding decorators, and local florists need hands-on help building setups, arranging items, and transforming spaces. Tasks change constantly from event to event.
- Merchandising & Visual Display: Retail visual merchandisers set up window displays, organize product layouts, and design store aesthetics. It utilizes artistic sensibility without requiring sitting at a desk.
- Custom Fabrication / Local Craft Studios: Look for local print shops, framing shops, laser-engraving businesses, or sign-making companies. These involve practical crafting, physical machines, and short-cycle projects.
- Trade-Adjacent Creative Roles: Since you mentioned trades in your area, consider entry-level specialized work like cabinet making, upholstery repair, fine woodworking, or restoration, which are tactile, visual, and detail-oriented.
2. Rebuilding Your Resume Without the "7-Year Gap"
- Use a Functional Resume: Group your resume by Skills & Projects rather than a rigid chronological timeline.
- Reframe Family Caregiving: List it directly as Private In-Home Caregiver & Youth Coordinator (2018–Present). Detail responsibilities: conflict resolution, schedule management, creative activity planning, and safety supervision.
- Highlight Portfolio Work over Formal Education: For creative or hands-on roles, a 3-to-5 item visual portfolio or photos of physical creations carries far more weight than a degree.
Phase 3: Restarting the Creative Engine (Low-Pressure Micro-Steps)
- The 10-Minute Tactile Rule: Keep physical art supplies (clay, sketchbooks, crafting materials) visible and uncovered. Spend just 10 minutes playing with materials without the intention of finishing or selling anything.
- Leverage Digital Micro-Learning: Explore bite-sized, self-paced tutorials on platform-specific sites (like Blender for 3D modeling, or digital sculpting) for 15 minutes a day. No deadlines, no grades.
How do people in 30s attend college and work at same time?
How are people managing to work and study at the same time in their 30s most of them even have kids. I see so many ads online and TV about online colleges but how does that even work. What if you need help, how you supposed to learn when there is no real instructor. And I just keep hearing community college is okay since majority of them just end up transferring to a university because bachelor degree pays more and majority of workforce requires that instead of associate or certification. But like I was just thinking associates degree might be enough to get a nice job
Jobadvisor
How Adults Manage School, Work, and Kids
- Asynchronous Online Courses: Instead of set class times, assignments open on Monday and are due Sunday night. Students study during pockets of free time—at 5:00 AM before the kids wake up, during lunch breaks, or late at night.
- Part-Time Pacing: Taking just 1 or 2 classes (3–6 credits) per semester instead of 4 or 5. It takes longer to finish, but it keeps stress manageable and avoids burnout.
- Competency-Based Education (CBE): Programs like Western Governors University (WGU) let you move through material at your own speed. If you already understand a topic, you can take the assessment immediately and skip weeks of repetitive lectures.
- Support Networks: Success usually relies on explicit family help (childcare shifts with partners or relatives) or tuition-assistance programs through employers who cover school costs.
How Online Learning Works (Without a Physical Instructor)
- Learning Management Systems (LMS): Platforms like Canvas or Blackboard host pre-recorded video lectures, reading modules, step-by-step assignments, and interactive discussion boards.
- Instructor Access: Professors still teach the course. They hold virtual office hours (via Zoom or phone), answer email questions, and grade assignments with personalized feedback.
- Dedicated Support Staff: Quality online schools assign programmatic academic advisors, program mentors, and access to 24/7 online tutoring platforms (like Brainfuse or Paper) where you can get immediate help with homework.
Associate Degrees vs. Bachelor's Degrees: What You Need to Know
- High-Value Associate Degrees: Technical, healthcare, and trade fields actively prefer specialized associate degrees or certifications. Roles like Registered Nurse (ADN), Dental Hygienist, Radiologic Technologist, Process Technician, Drafting/CAD Specialist, and Network Systems Administrator often start at $50,000–$80,000+ per year with just a 2-year degree or certification.
- When a Bachelor's is Required: Fields like corporate management, engineering, secondary education, or specialized tech usually require a 4-year degree to pass initial resume screenings.
- The Community College Advantage: Starting at a community college is one of the safest financial choices available. Tuition is significantly cheaper, and if you later decide you do want a bachelor’s degree, nearly all public community colleges have articulation agreements (transfer pathways) that convert your 2-year associate credits directly toward a 4-year university degree.
I was tipped off about an HR investigation
Bizarre situation here.
Last week, during a meeting, my boss and one of our workers had a disagreement that got a little heated. Nothing inappropriate in my mind, but it was kind of awkward for the rest of us.
Friday of last week, after hours, unprompted, and on his personal phone, a fellow supervisor recieved a text from said worker. He wanted to tip both of us off that HR would be calling us in Monday regarding our bosses "totally unacceptable behavior."
To me, this is madness because he's comprising the investigation that he instigated by tipping witnesses off. He also messaged both of us EOD Friday saying "we were his favorite supervisors ever." Which now seems to be an attempt to sway us both.
If HR does call me in, should I tell them about this?
Jobadvisor
Why You Need to Report It
- Protect Your Own Credibility: If HR discovers later that the worker contacted you and you stayed silent, it can look like you colluded with them or aligned yourself with their side of the story.
- Prevent Witness Tampering: Most corporate HR policies strictly forbid complainants and respondents from discussing an ongoing investigation with potential witnesses. Tipping you off is a breach of standard investigation protocols.
- Maintain Objectivity: Your role as a witness is simply to report what you personally saw, heard, and experienced—not to validate someone else's pre-packaged narrative.
How to Handle the Interview with HR
- Stick Strictly to the Facts: Describe the original meeting neutrally as you saw it (e.g., "It was a heated disagreement, but I didn't observe anything I considered inappropriate").
- Present the Text Factually: Let HR know about the communication at the end of your account or when asked about any subsequent interactions."On Friday evening after hours, I was informed by [Supervisor's Name] that [Worker's Name] sent a text regarding this situation. I want to make sure HR has complete visibility into this."
- Provide Evidence: Bring a screenshot or copy of the text message (including the timestamp and "favorite supervisors" comment) to share with HR if requested.
- Avoid Speculation: Let HR draw their own conclusions about why the worker sent the message. Simply present the facts and let them determine whether it violates policy.
My boss has access to my personal Gmail because of how my work email was set up. What should I do?
I am a lawyer and been working at a small law firm for about a year, and there’s something that has been making me increasingly uncomfortable.
When I started working there, literally on my first day, I was asked: “Do you have a Gmail account?” I said yes, completely innocently. I was then told that they would create my work email using my existing Gmail account.
So basically, I log into my personal Gmail account, but I send and receive work emails using my work email address/alias.
I KNOW this is not an ideal or particularly professional way to set up a work email. I’m not looking for comments telling me that , I know. It’s a very small firm, we don’t have a sophisticated IT setup, and this is simply how they decided to do things.
The issue is that I recently realized that my boss has access to all of our email accounts.
For context, I have permission to use my boss’s computer and access her emails when necessary. She is often in court, and we sometimes need to access her emails on her computer to retrieve authentication codes for websites with two-factor authentication, log into accounts, find documents, etc. So I was NOT snooping through her computer or accessing her emails without permission.
One day, while I was doing exactly that, I noticed that Gmail had multiple profiles/accounts available at the top so basically the Gmail profile menu where you can switch between accounts. There was a profile for each employee.
I clicked on mine, and I realized that she could access my work emails.
The problem is that my work email is NOT a separate Gmail account (like all of us employee..) . It is connected to my personal Gmail account. So if she can access my work email through that account, it appears that she can also access my personal emails.
And THAT is what makes me extremely uncomfortable.
My boss has never explicitly told us, “I have access to your emails.” She never explained that she could access our accounts or that our personal Gmail accounts could potentially be accessible to her. I only discovered this accidentally because I was using her computer for a legitimate work purpose.
I have never given my boss permission to access my personal emails.
And there is another reason this is becoming especially uncomfortable: I’m currently looking for another job. So my personal Gmail contains things like job applications, recruiter emails, interview invitations, follow-ups, etc. The idea that my current boss could potentially open my Gmail and see that I’m interviewing for other jobs is honestly extremely uncomfortable and could put me in a very awkward position at work.
I know the obvious answer is going to be: “Just create a new Gmail account and use that for work.”
But it’s not that simple anymore.
I’ve been working there for a FULL YEAR. All of my work correspondence from the past year is in this Gmail account. Clients, opposing counsel, colleagues, documents, attachments, etc. Everything is mixed together. I can’t simply create a new email tomorrow and pretend the last year of work correspondence doesn’t exist.
Thank you for reading !
Jobadvisor
This is a genuinely uncomfortable situation, and you're right to take it seriously — both for your own privacy and because of what it means for client confidentiality at your firm. Let me walk through what's likely happening technically, what to do right now, and how to fix this longer-term without losing a year of work correspondence.
What's probably going on
Gmail's account switcher (the profile menu in the top corner) only shows accounts that were actually signed into on that browser at some point — it doesn't populate automatically just because accounts exist. That means at some point, someone entered the actual username and password for your personal Gmail account on your boss's computer. That could have been:
- Whoever set up the "work email" system (possibly your boss herself, or an IT person) logging in once during setup, with the session simply never logged out
- Your boss occasionally logging into these accounts to manage things
Either way, it means your actual Gmail password was known/used, not just some limited "work alias" access. That's worth confirming rather than assuming, though.
Immediate steps
Do these now, regardless of how you handle the bigger conversation — your job search emails are exposed right now.This part is quick and non-confrontational — you're just securing your own account. No one has to know you did it, and it doesn't require explaining yourself to anyone.
The bigger fix: separating work from personal without losing a year of history
You don't have to abandon the account to make it safe. A few realistic options, roughly from least to most disruptive:
Option A — Keep the account, cut off boss access, start fresh for personal use. Once you've done the steps above, your boss can no longer get into your personal Gmail. You keep using this address for work as before (nothing about client correspondence changes), but you start using a different personal address going forward — especially for your job search. Old personal emails stay put but are no longer accessible to her. This is the lowest-effort fix and solves the "boss sees my job search" problem immediately.
Option B — Migrate to a proper separate work account. Ask the firm (or just do it yourself with a free Google Workspace-style setup, or even a separate free Gmail address for work) to give you a real, standalone work email. Then:
- Use Gmail's forwarding to auto-forward new work mail from the old address to the new one for a transition period
- Set up an auto-reply on the old address noting the new one
- Use Google Takeout to export the full mail history from the old account as a personal archive/backup, so you retain a record of everything without it living in an account someone else can reach
- Gradually update contacts, letterhead, case files, etc.
This is more work but permanently separates the two identities, which is really the underlying problem here, not just this particular boss's access.
One more angle worth considering
You mentioned you're a lawyer — that matters here beyond just your own privacy. If your boss (or anyone else) can access your Gmail, they can potentially access privileged client communications and case materials that flow through that address. That's a confidentiality issue for the firm, not just a personal one. If you do decide to raise this with your boss, framing it around client confidentiality and professional responsibility ("we should make sure client emails aren't sitting in an account other people can log into") may land better and feel less personal than "I don't want you seeing my email," while accomplishing the same protective goal. You don't have to mention the job search at all.
Whether to say anything to her directly is up to you and depends on the relationship — but technically, you don't need her cooperation to secure your own account. You can do that unilaterally today.