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I don't know what the fuck to do with my life, and I'm terrified of the future
I'm 18-years-old, and I'll be turning 19 in a month. I just finished my first year of college, and I'm currently taking a summer class, that I'm actually planning to drop if I can (and I'll explain why in a second)... I'm an undeclared undergraduate, but I'm taking courses to be a nurse. Or at least courses I need to take to be accepted into pre-nursing first.
The issue is that i have ZERO passion in being a nurse. I'm not a people-person, I act like an idiot when I'm nervous, I fold EASILY under pressure, and i'll probably break down in tears if someone gives me attitude or gets frustrated with me. I don't even know if I can even handle looking at wounds or giving people shots. I don't want to pursue something I'm going to HATE years later. And honestly, I can't see myself working in healthcare. I'm only doing this because it's a practical career, not because I'm interested in it at all.
I'm afraid to talk about this with my parents because I feel like they'll assume I'm giving up because I'm failing my physiology class. And, oh my god, I did not think I was capable of doing two all-nighters in one week. That class is so stressful, and this is just my second week. There is SO MUCH information thrown at me at once. I lost so much sleep trying to grasp what I needed to know for the first exam, and I didn't even get to fully go over everything. But, even if I had more time to study, I feel like this would still be SUPER difficult to me. And I knew this class wouldn't be easy... I was mentally preparing myself before my first day, lol. But, this class just made me realize that I don't think any of this is interesting at all. I'm not interested in biology, chemistry, or anatomy, and I never have been. But, at the same time, I feel like I'm just afraid of failure.
I love drawing and writing fiction, but I only see these things as hobbies. I'm not as good as other artists who share the same hobbies. I'm not a good artist, but I'm not terrible either. I'm intermediate at best. But, then again, I'd prefer keeping writing and drawing as hobbies.
And now i'm question what the hell do i want to do with my life?!?!??!?!??! i don't want to pursue something i'm actually passionate in, but at the same time I don't want to pursue something that I'm not passionate in. How do people decide what they want to do in the future at the age of seventeen??? AM I SLOW??? I've joked about dropping out and working minimum wage the rest of my life, but AM I EVEN JOKING ANYMOREEE?? I FEEL LIKE A WASTE OF POTENTIAL. this has been haunting me for the past two days since i got a 56% on my exam in my physiology class. I don't know if I'm doubting myself, lacking motivation, or have absolutely no passion in being a nurse. i feel so confused.
This felt more like venting than asking for advice. has anyone experienced something similar to this?
Jobadvisor
Take a deep breath. Drop the shoulders, unclench your jaw, and let it out.
First off: You are not slow. Expecting a 17 or 18-year-old to accurately map out the next 40 years of their working life is like asking someone to predict the weather ten years from today. It’s an absurd expectation, yet society acts like it’s a standard milestone. Most people who "have it all figured out" at your age either change their majors three times, end up in a completely different field, or are just really good at faking confidence.
You are experiencing a completely normal, rite-of-passage existential panic. And honestly? Getting that 56% and realizing you hate physiology is a blessing in disguise. It’s screaming at you to stop walking down a path that clearly isn’t yours.
The Reality Check on Nursing
You listed your traits:
Not a people person
Fold under pressure
Hate the sight of wounds/needles
Zero interest in biology, chemistry, or anatomy
If you forced yourself through this, you wouldn't just hate your job—you would burn out spectacularly within six months of graduating. Nursing is a brutal, high-stakes, highly social, and physically messy profession. Recognizing now that it doesn't align with your personality isn't failing; it’s smart risk management. You are saving yourself years of agony and thousands of dollars.
Drop the summer class if you can do so without major financial or academic penalties. You are running on empty, and you can't think clearly on two all-nighters and a 56% exam score.
The Golden Middle: "The Pragmatic Pivot"
You mentioned a really mature insight: You don't want to monetize your passions (art/writing), but you don't want to suffer in a career you hate.
This is actually the healthiest mindset to have. A job doesn't need to be your soulmate; it just needs to be a good roommate. You want something you are moderately good at, that pays the bills, gives you a good work-life balance, and leaves you with enough energy to draw and write at night.
Since you prefer to avoid high-pressure social interaction and don't care for healthcare sciences, let's look at fields that are stable, practical, but don't involve bodily fluids or shouting patients:
1. Behind-the-Scenes Tech & Data
If you like working alone and solving puzzles rather than dealing with people, tech and data are great, practical alternatives.
Data Analytics: You look at patterns, numbers, and trends, and create reports. It’s quiet, analytical, and highly structured.
Information Technology (IT) / Network Administration: Fix systems, set up networks, and keep things running behind the scenes.
Technical Writing: This bridges the gap between your love for writing and a high-paying corporate career. Technical writers take complex information (like software manuals or company policies) and write them clearly.
2. Business & Digital Operations
Every industry—including the creative ones—needs people to keep the business running smoothly.
Supply Chain & Logistics: The science of getting things from point A to point B. It’s all about organization, problem-solving, and efficiency. Very practical, highly demanded, and low on emotional drama.
Accounting / Finance: If you don't mind math and structured rules, accounting is the ultimate "stable, quiet, leave-me-alone-at-5-PM" job.
3. Digital Design & Marketing
Since you have an eye for art but want to keep your personal drawing as a hobby, you could pivot to commercial design where you use structure and software.
UX/UI Design (User Experience/User Interface): Designing how websites and apps look and feel. It combines psychology, a bit of structure, and visual design.
Digital Marketing / SEO: Analyzing how people search for things online and managing digital campaigns.
How to Handle Your Parents
It is completely terrifying to tell your parents you're changing course, especially right after a bad grade. They might initially react with worry or assume you're "giving up."
To get ahead of that, don't just go to them with a problem—go to them with a pivot plan.
Instead of saying: "I'm failing physiology and I want to drop out of pre-nursing."
Try saying: "This first year made me realize that clinical healthcare completely clashes with my strengths. I am miserable in physiology because I have no interest in medicine, and I want to switch my focus to something more suited to my skills, like [Insert Alternative Here]. I want to use this next semester as an undeclared major to take intro classes in that field."
Parents usually just want to know you aren't going to live on their couch forever. Showing them that you are actively thinking about your future—just a different future—will calm their anxieties.
You are 18. You have so much time to iterate, change your mind, fail, and rebuild. Give yourself some grace, get some sleep, and remember that discovering what you don't want to do is just as valuable as figuring out what you do.
To help narrow things down without any pressure: when you picture a workplace where you feel safe, calm, and capable, what does that environment look like to you?
What stable jobs can I get as an artist?
So I'm approaching my mid 20s but haven't gone to college yet although I'll be starting next year. I've always loved stem my whole life but within the past few years I've discovered a passion for art and have realised that it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Even if not professionally. Art is a very volatile industry though but from what I'm seeing, stem careers aren't safe either. So no matter what you choose, you could potentially face instability. I'm looking into pursuing art as a full time career. But what 9-5 stable jobs exist for artists out there? I want to work in animation or in the film industry but those jobs are even harder to find. Should I pick something more stable especially at my age? Most people I see going back to college got an arts degree or something and struggled to get jobs. Would I be stupid to pick art espically when it's harder to bounce back in your 30s?
Jobadvisor
Great question! There are actually quite a few stable, salaried art careers that tend to fly under the radar. Here's a breakdown:
Most Stable / In-Demand
UX/UI Design — Designing apps and websites. Consistently one of the highest-paying and most in-demand creative fields. Very learnable alongside a degree.
Graphic Design (In-house) — Working for a single company (hospital, university, corporation) rather than freelancing. Steady salary, benefits, predictable hours.
Instructional/Educational Designer — Creating visual learning materials, e-learning courses, training content. Huge demand in corporate and healthcare sectors.
Technical Illustrator — Drawing diagrams for manuals, engineering docs, medical publications. Niche but very stable and well-paid.
Creative but Solid
Motion Graphics Designer — After Effects/animation for ads, news, corporate video. More accessible than film animation and steadier work.
Game Artist / Concept Artist (at a studio) — Salaried positions at mid-to-large studios. More stable than film VFX, though layoffs do happen at big studios.
Architectural Visualizer — 3D renders of buildings for architecture firms. Good demand, especially with real estate and urban development.
Brand/Visual Identity Designer — In-house at agencies or companies. Very employable with a strong portfolio.
Surprisingly Stable Niches
Medical/Scientific Illustrator — Highly specialized, very well paid, low competition. Often requires a dedicated graduate program though.
Forensic Artist — Works with law enforcement on composite sketches and reconstructions. Rare but government-salaried.
Exhibit/Museum Designer — Designing physical and digital exhibits. Slower-paced, often public sector.
Practical Advice for Your Situation
- Your STEM background is actually a huge advantage. UX design, data visualization, game development art, and technical illustration all benefit enormously from a logical/analytical mindset. Don't see those years as wasted.
- Portfolio matters more than degree in most art fields. Start building one now, before college even starts.
- Animation and film are real goals, just long ones. Many people break in through motion graphics or game art first, then transition.
- You're not too old. Mid-20s starting college is extremely common, and hiring managers in creative fields care about your work, not your graduation year.
- Consider a double focus — something like a Design degree with electives in animation, or a Digital Media degree that covers multiple bases.
The honest truth is that applied art careers (design, UX, motion graphics) are considerably more stable than fine/expressive art careers (gallery art, illustration, film). If stability matters to you, aim for the applied side while keeping your personal art practice alive separately.
I keep chasing a high
Not a drug high, but rather a life high.
Hi all, I wanted to share my story to know why I feel that way, and if other people feel that way as well.
For all my life, I feel like I have yearned for change, I always disproportionately loved trips and being in a new environment and meeting new people. I have also wanted to go study abroad for as long as I can remember. Change, whether it is about place, people, or even circumstances, represents a deep form of fulfillment for me.
My first real change was after high school, where I decided to move, on my own, to the biggest city in my province for prep college. It was a completely new environment with 100% new people, and in a new language. The excitement and thrill that came with that experience was indescribable, and it ended up completely altering the trajectory of my life. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and it only reinforced the idea that this high is what I am longing for deep down. And just to make it clear, I have a good situation at home and with my friends from high school, I didn’t move because I didn’t like it home.
My second real change was last summer, after the two years of prep college, where I went working abroad at club med. Again, I wanted to experience a new environment with new people. That same high was back. This kind of thrill, for me, is the epiphany of human experience. You’re in a new country, meeting all these people, creating all these new memories, no drug can reproduce this. Even for the space of only 3 months, this experience goes down as one the most important and defining of my life.
Then, for university, I was offered a great opportunity at a college in the same big city as where I went to prep college, and decided to attend there. But during the first year, I just didn’t feel like I was in the right place, and didn’t feel like I was developing myself. I felt extremely bored and like i wasn’t moving forward, even though I was doing great in school and landed great internships. So now, I am set to transfer to a university in Spain to continue the rest of my studies next fall.
I have no idea where life will take me after that, and if I’m being honest, that’s what makes me the most happy and excited. I think this perfectly describes the way I feel. Even if life is going great, I feel bored without change, and as if I’m not moving forward. I need it to be happy.
Jobadvisor
What you're describing is really well-articulated, and you're clearly someone with a lot of self-awareness. A few thoughts:
What you're experiencing has a name (or a few)
Psychologists sometimes call this a high need for novelty-seeking or sensation-seeking — it's a genuine personality trait, partly temperamental and partly shaped by experience. Some people's brains are wired to get a stronger dopamine response from new environments, new social contexts, and uncertainty. You're not chasing something shallow; you're responding to something real in how you're built.
There's also a concept called "arrival fallacy" — the observation that the anticipation of a change often feels better than the change itself once it settles. You've actually named this yourself: even Spain will eventually become the new normal. That's worth sitting with.
The honest tension
The high you're describing is real and valuable — it's driven some genuinely formative experiences. But there's a question worth asking: is the restlessness always pointing toward something, or is it sometimes running from stillness? Not accusing — just a distinction worth knowing in yourself, because the answer changes what you do with the feeling.
Some people discover that the novelty need is partly a way of avoiding the slower, quieter work of going deep — deep into a place, a craft, a relationship, a version of yourself that only emerges when you stop moving.
The good news
You don't have to choose between adventure and depth. Some people build lives that are genuinely structured around exploration — careers in international work, research, journalism, diplomacy, or just industries where mobility is normal. The key is building portable roots: identity, values, close relationships, skills — things that travel with you so you're not starting from zero every time.
Spain sounds like a great move. Just go in knowing the high has a half-life — and that what you build during the plateau matters as much as the launch.
Quitting job after getting an offer from a different unit
I want to quit my current job. I work full time, nights, while also going to school full time and I don't think it is safe for me to continue with this schedule anymore.
The problem is I applied for a job in a different unit but same company and just got the offer. My new job does not start until October. The offer letter itself does not mention it being a transfer or having any contingency upon keeping my current job. Our policy also does not have any minimum time period between termination and rehire.
Discussed with my manager and he said it would look bad if I quit. He was basically insinuating that he would make them rescind my new offer somehow. I'm not eligible for FMLA, I don't have enough PTO, and he refuses to put me on unpaid leave of absence. I feel like I'm being lied to just so he can keep me as a worker for as long as possible. I am in good standing, never had an issue at work whatsover. I just want to put in my two weeks and have the time off before starting my new job.
What should I do?
Jobadvisor
That is an incredibly stressful situation to be in. Working full-time nights while going to school full-time is an exhausting grind, and recognizing that it's no longer safe for you shows a lot of self-awareness. It is completely reasonable that you want to step back, recharge, and focus on school before your new role starts.
Your manager’s response, however, is a classic management scare tactic. When an employee tries to leave an understaffed or difficult shift (like nights), some managers will resort to intimidation to keep that spot filled. He is likely bluffing, but because it involves your future within the same company, you need to handle this strategically.
Here is a step-by-step approach to protect your new offer while taking care of your health:
1. Bypass Your Manager and Talk to HR
Since you are staying within the same company, the internal transfer process is usually governed by Corporate HR, not your current manager. Your manager likely does not have the unilateral power to yank an offer issued by another unit, but he can make things messy if he tries to mark you as "not rehirable" when you leave.
Contact HR immediately: Reach out to the HR representative who handles internal transfers or the recruiter who sent you the October offer letter.
Frame it as a logistics question: Do not go in venting about your boss. Instead, say: "I have accepted an offer for the X unit starting in October. Due to my school schedule, I need to resign from my current night-shift role effective [Date]. I want to ensure my transition and internal profile are processed correctly so there is no conflict with my October start date."
Get it in writing: Ask HR explicitly if resigning from your current post impacts the future offer. Once HR confirms in writing (email) that your October start is secure regardless of your current employment status, your manager's leverage drops to zero.
2. Connect with the Hiring Manager of the New Unit
The person who actually holds the power over your new job is your new boss.
Send a quick, enthusiastic email to the manager of the unit you are joining in October.
Reiterate how excited you are to join their team. You don't necessarily have to tell them you are quitting early unless HR advises it, but establishing a direct, positive line of communication makes it much harder for your current boss to secretly sabotage you.
3. Understand Corporate "Transfer" Rules
Even if your offer letter doesn't explicitly call this a transfer, many companies have backend systems that treat any move between units as an internal transfer rather than a "quit and rehire."
If HR tells you that you must remain an active employee to keep the transfer valid, ask them about an Educational Leave of Absence or a generic Personal Leave. Since your manager already denied unpaid leave, HR has the authority to overrule him or place you on a corporate-level leave to bridge the gap until October.
4. The Two-Week Notice Decision
Once you have spoken to HR and know exactly where you stand:
If HR confirms your October job is 100% safe: Submit your formal, written two-week notice to your manager and CC HR. Keep it entirely professional: "Thank you for the opportunity... my last day will be [Date]." If your manager throws a tantrum or threatens you again, walk away and report the behavior to HR.
If HR says quitting will void the internal transfer: You will have to make a tough choice. You may need to look into scaling back your school load temporarily, asking for a temporary schedule accommodation from HR based on safety/fatigue, or deciding if your health warrants leaving the company entirely and finding a different bridge job until October.
The Bottom Line: Your manager is acting out of self-interest because losing a reliable night-shift worker hurts his metrics. Protect yourself by shifting the conversation to HR, who looks at company policy rather than a single department's staffing shortages.
Contractor is starting a background check on me. Should I be concerned because of my past?
About 8 months ago I received a citation in college when I was still 20 for underage possession/intoxication of alcohol. I was stupid and deserved it. I signed the provisional guilty plea as a part of a Youth Offender Program and completed it, and now the case docket says Dismissed with YOP. I haven’t gotten to expunging it yet.
Right now I’m being pushed through to a background check for a contracting job that would place me in a financial institution in a programming role. Should I be concerned? Will this dismissed citation be a problem for my employment in any way, and what can I do to avoid issues with this in the future.
Jobadvisor
First off, take a deep breath. What you are feeling is completely normal—waiting on a background check when you have anything on your record is anxiety-inducing. But the short answer is: No, you should not be overly concerned, and this is highly unlikely to cost you the job.
Here is exactly how this situation plays out in the real world, especially for a tech role in banking.
Why You are Likely Safe
Financial institutions are strictly regulated, but their main concern is financial crime and dishonesty. Under federal laws (like Section 19 of the Federal Deposit Insurance Act in the US), banks look for things like breach of trust, dishonesty, money laundering, theft, or fraud.
An underage drinking citation does not fall into any of these categories. Here is why your specific situation is in good shape:
The Status is "Dismissed": Because you completed the Youth Offender Program (YOP), you were never formally convicted. Most standard employment background checks look primarily for convictions.
It is a Minor Infraction: Underage possession is typically a citation or a misdemeanor, not a felony. In the eyes of a hiring manager, a college student getting an underage drinking ticket is a common mistake, not a pattern of criminal behavior.
Role Relevance: You are being hired as a programmer, not operating heavy machinery or driving a company vehicle where alcohol offenses carry massive liability.
How to Handle the Background Check Form
The paperwork you fill out for the screening company is where most people trip themselves up. Look closely at the exact phrasing of the questions asked:
If it asks: "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" You can safely answer No. A dismissed case after a diversion program is not a conviction.
If it asks: "Have you ever been arrested or cited?" You should answer Yes and provide a brief, factual explanation.
The Golden Rule: Never lie or omit information if the question explicitly covers your situation. Omitting a dismissed charge when asked directly looks like you are trying to hide something, and dishonesty will get you disqualified much faster than a minor college citation.
If you do need to explain it, keep it simple, boring, and professional: "In [Month/Year], I received a citation for underage possession of alcohol while in college. I participated in a Youth Offender Program, successfully completed all requirements, and the matter was fully dismissed."
What to Do Next
To protect your peace of mind and prevent this from causing anxiety in future job searches, you should take two quick steps:
Get a Copy of Your Record: Once the background check is complete, you have a legal right to request a copy of the report from the screening company. Get it so you can see exactly how the screening firm reports the YOP dismissal.
Expunge It Immediately: Since you have already completed the program and the case is dismissed, you are likely eligible to file for expungement right now. Call the clerk of the court where your case was handled or look up a local legal aid clinic. Getting it expunged removes it from public record entirely, meaning future standard background checks won't see it at all.
You made a minor mistake, handled it responsibly through the court system, and the state cleared your record. Focus on getting ready for your new programming role!