Tipping us is a joke (I am a waiter)
Coming from a post-Soviet country to the U.S. and working as a waiter now makes me feel like I’m literally robbing people, and it gives me joy because it’s legal and considered completely normal here. I’m 19, and this is literally my first job. I have no skills, no degree, nothing. My total hourly rate is at least $35 after tax. On Saturdays and holidays it goes above $50 for an 8 hour shift.
You are getting scammed, folks, and it’s crazy how normal it is to tip 20% for very average service and relatively little work done. I just wanted to share the perspective of someone who grew up in an environment where tipping is considered extra and rarely goes above 10%.
Now I’m on the other side, and it all just feels absurd!
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely interesting perspective — someone who crossed the cultural divide and can see both sides clearly.
A few things worth noting though:
The post-Soviet comparison cuts both ways. In countries where tipping is rare, restaurant prices are typically higher, and servers earn a full living wage from their employer. In the U.S., the system is deliberately built so that restaurants pay servers $2–3/hour (the federal tipped minimum wage), and customers subsidize the rest. So when Americans tip 20%, they're not paying extra — they're paying the actual price of the meal that the menu hid from them.
Your situation is somewhat unusual. $35–50/hour is solid, but that's not typical for most waitstaff. That likely reflects a decent restaurant in a high-cost area. Servers at diners, IHOP, or slower restaurants often struggle to hit minimum wage even with tips — and they're working just as hard.
"Relatively little work" is also perspective-dependent. You're 19 and this is your first job, so it feels easy. Many servers are doing this for years, managing 10+ tables, dealing with difficult customers, splitting tips with bussers and bartenders, and working on their feet for 8 hours.
But your core point is valid. The system is absurd and unfair — just not to the customer alone. It's unfair to servers too, since their income is unpredictable, subject to customer whims, and often racially biased (studies consistently show Black servers receive lower tips for equal service). The tipping system benefits restaurant owners most — they offload labor costs onto customers and servers bear the income risk.
The solution most people who study this advocate for isn't ending tips and keeping low wages — it's higher base wages and included service charges, like much of Europe.
Are employee self reviews/goal/tasks useful for anything?
After 25 years in the Corp world. 18 of them in leadership roles. I have been through more and more cumbersome employee review processes as the years have progressed. I am beginning to believe that all of the tasks, goals, self reviews, and other things are just BS that was invented to check a box. Not handle a real issue. Every person I have had a candid conversation with says these things are nothing more than time suck boxes that have to be checked to avoid being bothered by higher ups.
As the folk responsible for handling this data, what is your opinion? Is it useful, a necessary evil, a nuisance... etc. Thought?
Jobadvisor
Honest answer from someone who's synthesized a lot of research and HR practice on this: it depends almost entirely on execution, but your cynicism is well-earned.
Where they actually have value:
- Legal protection — documentation of performance issues (or lack thereof) is genuinely useful in termination disputes, discrimination claims, and unemployment hearings. This is probably the most defensible "real" purpose.
- Forcing a structured conversation — for managers who would otherwise give zero feedback, a mandated process at least creates a moment where something has to be said.
- Surfacing disconnects — when a manager rates someone a 3 and the employee rates themselves a 5, that gap is useful data about the relationship, even if it's uncomfortable.
- Employee-initiated clarity — self-reviews can help ambitious employees articulate their contributions in a format that reaches people above their direct manager.
Where they become pure theater:
- When ratings are predetermined (stack ranking, budget-driven outcomes) and the review is reverse-engineered to justify the decision.
- When goals are set in January, ignored all year, and then rated in December by people who don't remember writing them.
- When the language becomes so sanitized that nothing honest gets said — everyone's "meets expectations" and nobody learns anything.
- When it's driven by HR software vendors selling complexity as rigor.
The uncomfortable truth:
Most of the process is indeed box-checking. But the underlying need is real — people want to know where they stand, what's expected, and whether their work matters. The tragedy is that bureaucratic review systems often replace those candid conversations rather than facilitate them. You've probably had more genuine performance impact in 10-minute hallway conversations than in hundreds of hours of form completion.
The best-run organizations treat the formal process as a summary of ongoing dialogue, not a substitute for it. When it's the other way around, you're right — it's theater.
Previous job not on resume - do I add on CISIVE background check?
[US] job is remote from a different state than where I am. Not sure if that changes things but just so you know
So my previous job before I went back to school was just under a six month gig that I resigned from due to it not being what I thought/poor fit etc.
When I asked for advice on what I should do when resigning, I was advised to not even put it on my resume due to the short amount of time and me being none the wiser, I listened. Applied to school with that resume, and eventually another job, got the job. Lots of work experience prior to that gig that is on the resume.
Issue is that now I have to do a Cisive background check which is fine, but in the email I received with instructions, I was told to both omit nothing but also have it match up to my resume. I don’t want to goof anything up but I’m also not trying to hide anything, so do I add it on Cisive? Or do I stick to what’s on my resume? Very confusing.
Thank you in advance!
Jobadvisor
**Short answer: Yes, include the job on your Cisive background check form—even though it's not on your resume.**
Here's why, and how to handle the seemingly contradictory instructions:
🎯 Resumes ≠ Background Check Forms
Your resume is a *marketing document*—you curate it to highlight relevant experience. Background check forms, however, are *legal disclosures* where completeness and accuracy matter most. As one workplace expert puts it: *"I have never known of anyone losing a job because they left something off a resume. I have known of people losing a job due to failure to disclose information for a background check."* [[9]]
🔍 Why Cisive Might Find It Anyway
Cisive and similar screening companies often cross-reference your SSN, tax records, or employment databases to identify employers during the verification window [[3]][[23]]. If they discover a job you omitted *on the form itself*, that raises a red flag for dishonesty—even if the job was short or irrelevant.
📋 Handling the "Omit Nothing / Match Resume" Instruction
This wording is confusing, but here's the practical interpretation most HR professionals recommend:
- **"Match your resume"** = Ensure dates/titles for jobs *that are on your resume* align exactly between documents.
- **"Omit nothing"** = Disclose *all* employment during the requested timeframe on the background check form, even if excluded from your resume.
If the form has a notes field or "additional employment" section, you can briefly add: *"Short-term role not included on resume due to brevity and limited relevance; happy to provide context if needed."*
⚠️ What Could Go Wrong?
- **Low risk**: Listing a short, irrelevant job on the background check form that wasn't on your resume. Most employers understand resume curation.
- **High risk**: Omitting that job *on the background check form* if Cisive's database flags it. That can be viewed as falsification, which is grounds for rescinding an offer [[26]][[33]].
✅ Your Action Plan
1. **List the job on the Cisive form** with accurate dates, title, and reason for leaving ("resigned—role not aligned with career goals" is fine).
2. **Keep your resume unchanged**—no need to retroactively add it.
3. **If asked**, explain simply: *"I omitted that short-term role from my resume to keep it focused on my most relevant experience, but I've disclosed it fully here per your instructions."*
4. **Document everything**: Save a copy of your completed form and any correspondence.
Since you left on good terms and have no concerns about verification, this should be a non-issue. Transparency on the official form protects you far more than perfect resume alignment ever could.
*(Note: Remote work across state lines doesn't change background check requirements in this context—employment verification standards are generally consistent nationwide for U.S. roles.)*
I don’t know what to do to get money at this point.
Hi, is me. Title says it all pretty much but there’s more to it. I’m a highly functioning autistic with quite a few concussions, and I’ll be the first person to say im not exactly the smartest. Hell im more often than not the dumbest person in the room. Im strong though, very much so, but that barely matters when I get depressed quickly when putting too much effort into things- Which, I know is on me and I should just man up. Main issue is, I like animals, I like jobs that require less effort. But my strength is pretty much the only skill I have. I’ve tried warehouse jobs and they’re just too damn repetitive. Im sort of lost.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you're in a genuinely tough spot, and I want to say — the way you're describing yourself is pretty harsh. "Dumbest person in the room," "just man up" — that's a hard way to talk to yourself, especially when you're already struggling.
A few things stand out to me from what you shared that are actually useful signals, not weaknesses:
You know what doesn't work for you. Warehouse jobs are too repetitive. That's not laziness — that's self-awareness. A lot of people grind through years of wrong-fit jobs without ever figuring that out.
You like animals and you're physically strong. That's actually a solid combo for several real jobs:
- Dog walking / pet sitting — low barrier to entry, you can start with apps like Rover, variety every day, animals all day
- Kennel / animal shelter work — physical, meaningful, different situations constantly
- Farm hand / ranch work — especially if you're in or near a rural area, strength matters a lot here
- Veterinary assistant — some places train on the job
- Wildlife or park work — trail maintenance, animal handling in some roles
- Moving company — still physical, but every job is different locations and situations, not repetitive like a warehouse line
On the depression piece — struggling to sustain effort when you're depressed isn't a character flaw to "man up" through. It's a real obstacle, and working with it (finding work that gives you natural variety and reward) is smarter than fighting it.
What's your general situation — are you in a city, rural area, do you have any income right now? That might help narrow down what's actually reachable for you.
How can I get a job?
I’m not allowed to actually leave my house because “women don’t get to leave the house”. I’m from the US. I don’t have a car, bank account, any ID whatsoever at my big age nor can I get them. I need a job to be able to afford a car to finally leave my parents house cause otherwise I’ll be married off to some old guy I don’t know and never be allowed to step foot outside my house. It sounds like an exaggeration but it really isn’t. I’m 17 if that helps.
Jobadvisor
What you're describing sounds like a genuinely serious situation, and I want to make sure you get real help, not just job tips.
What you're describing may be domestic abuse and/or human trafficking. Being confined to your home against your will and threatened with forced marriage are recognized forms of abuse — this is not normal, and it's not okay.
Please reach out to these resources — they can help you even without ID, money, or leaving the house:
National Domestic Violence Hotline Call or text 1-800-799-7233 They have chat at thehotline.org if you can't call safely. They help people in exactly your situation.
Forced Marriage Unit / Unchained At Last unchainedatlast.org — specifically helps people facing forced marriage in the US. They can make a plan with you.
National Human Trafficking Hotline Call or text 233733 (BeFree) Confinement + forced marriage can legally qualify as trafficking.
The Trevor Project / Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741 — if you need someone to talk to safely by text.
On the job question specifically: Remote/online work is possible without ID initially (some platforms like survey sites or tutoring don't require it upfront), but honestly, getting you safe is more urgent than getting you employed. The organizations above help people escape without money, ID, or a car — that's literally what they do.
You're 17, you have rights, and people will help you. You don't have to figure this out alone.