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Need suggestions on other ways to approach employee poor hygiene issue
Howdy fellow HR folks,
I'm seeking suggestions on how else I can approach a poor hygiene issue with an employee in my company before issuing disciplinary action. It's clear they are not washing their work clothes and may not be bathing. It is suspected they are experiencing severe depression, and suspected they have sports betting and alcohol addictions, but they are not suspected of being unhoused. The suspected alcoholism and gambling are not performance issues yet and will not be brought up. Core facts:
They regularly smell of intense body odor, often similar to extremely old sneakers, or like (there's no other way to put it) rancid crotch
They often wear work-issued shirts which are repeatedly worn, unwashed, to the point of large stains and holes forming in the armpits
They have previously shared (in casual conversation) that they do not have time to do laundry with their spouse, which they blamed on not receiving their desired shift pattern
Their de facto response to feedback is sarcasm and blaming others which quickly turns to anger
Our employee assistance program can connect them with community partners, such as homeless or city resources, which may have free laundry facilities they can use, but they are expected to reject this
Their leader is soon going to have the conversation with the employee, and my company does not allow HR to be present at these initial conversations. My suggestions to the leader are to:
Open the conversation by saying they are there to address something uncomfortable, but that concern exists because others care about this employee and their well-being. Affirm that the space is a safe place and that they are not there to judge the employee
Directly address that concerns have been raised about the employee's well-being due to the fact that they come to work in clothes that appear dirty, and sometimes have a noticeable odor
Affirm that we are concerned about the employee, not judging
Ask the employee if something is making it difficult for them to keep up with laundry
Ask the employee how they have been feeling lately and if anything is going on that is making work or home routines harder
Offer our employee assistance program contact info enforcing that it's free and has a variety of resources from confidential mental health care to community resources
Reinforce professional standards - coming to work clean, odor-free, and in clothing that is washed and in good condition
Reinstate they are there not to punish but to understand what's getting in the way and connect them with support
Given that we expect the employee will not be receptive to the conversation, we are expecting the conversation to go poorly. Do any of you have any suggestions as to how else to address this? Would you do anything differently? TIA!
Jobadvisor
**ADA Reasonable Accommodation Process Overview**
The **Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)** requires covered employers (generally 15+ employees) to provide reasonable accommodations to qualified employees with disabilities, unless it causes **undue hardship** (significant difficulty or expense).
Depression often qualifies as a disability if it substantially limits one or more major life activities (e.g., caring for oneself, concentrating, sleeping, working). Poor hygiene/self-neglect can be a symptom of depression or other conditions, potentially triggering ADA obligations.
### Key Steps in the Reasonable Accommodation Process
1. **Recognition of a Request**
The process starts when the employee requests an accommodation or when the employer knows (or has reason to know) about a disability and workplace issues linked to it. No "magic words" like "ADA" are needed — statements about needing changes due to a medical condition suffice.
In your scenario: If the employee mentions struggles with laundry, routines, or feeling overwhelmed during the hygiene conversation, this could trigger the duty to explore accommodations.
2. **Initiate the Interactive Process**
This is an informal, collaborative dialogue between the employer and employee to:
- Clarify the employee’s limitations.
- Identify potential accommodations.
- Assess effectiveness and feasibility.
Employers should act promptly and in good faith. Document all steps.
EEOC-recommended actions:
- Analyze the job’s essential functions.
- Consult the employee about limitations and possible solutions.
- Explore accommodations (considering the employee’s preferences but not required to grant the exact one requested).
- Implement the most appropriate one.
3. **Medical Documentation (If Needed)**
Only request when the disability or need for accommodation isn’t obvious. Limit questions to job-related needs (e.g., how the condition affects essential functions and what would help). Protect privacy — share only on a need-to-know basis.
4. **Evaluate and Decide**
Determine if the employee is qualified (can perform essential job functions with or without accommodation).
Reasonable accommodations must be effective but don’t have to be the employee’s top choice if another works.
Deny only if it poses **undue hardship** (consider cost, resources, operations impact).
5. **Implement and Follow Up**
Provide the accommodation and monitor effectiveness. Be prepared to adjust if it doesn’t work.
### Relevant Examples for This Situation (Depression/Poor Hygiene)
- **Schedule adjustments** — More flexible shifts or time for laundry/hygiene routines.
- **Leave** — Intermittent or continuous leave for treatment/recovery.
- **Modified duties** — Temporary reduction in non-essential tasks if motivation/concentration is affected.
- **Support resources** — EAP referrals, private space, or breaks.
- **Hygiene-specific** — Additional uniform spares, access to facilities, or modified break schedules.
**Note**: You cannot force medical disclosure, but you can ask if support is needed to meet standards. If they disclose a disability, pivot to the interactive process.
### Practical Tips for Your Case
- Train the leader (or involve HR if a second meeting occurs) to listen for accommodation cues during the hygiene discussion and document them.
- Have a consistent internal process for handling these requests.
- If the employee becomes angry/defensive, stay calm, reaffirm support, and suggest continuing later.
- Consult legal counsel or your compliance team for specific situations, as this is general guidance.
For official details, refer to the EEOC’s Enforcement Guidance on Reasonable Accommodation.
This process protects both the employee and the company when handled thoughtfully and documented well. Let me know if you need sample questions for the interactive dialogue or help with documentation templates.
I feel empty. I’ve given up. 34F
Last year was really hard I had been working retail and I ended up having 2 mental health crises and being hospitalized. After the second I quit my job. That was in August and I havent worked since then. I’m on medication now and stable thankfully.
My degree is in psychology but Ive never worked in that field. I went to a university to discuss getting a masters and was told to “not waste my time” because I wasnt a competitive candidate.
I spend my days doing as close to nothing as possible. I live with my parents. But my day usually consists of Youtube, chatting, and playing Tetris. I have a very hard time being around people these days. I stay in bed for hours and at this point my stamina is shot. An hour in a grocery store on my feet is absolutely pushing it. Ive also gained 70 pounds.
I thought about working as a housekeeper at a hotel. It would be an easy job to get and limited interaction with the public. I’m worried the physical aspect would be too challenging though and I wouldnt be able to keep up. Besides that it isnt really a career and wouldnt advance me at all. I thought about trying to get a job in the psych dept but I’m really embarrassed about my resume.
I dont know anymore. Ive given up on having family or a career. I feel like I’m just stuck in this limbo. I have no motivation to do anything. I look like an ogre these days and live like a hermit. I just wish I could get that spark of hope back. It seems every year since 2020 has been continually worse and worse for me.
Anyway thanks for reading. I’m not sure what I’m even asking for here tbh maybe an inspiring story of how someone started living again & stopped just existing.
Jobadvisor
What you’re describing isn’t “failure to get your life together” — it reads much more like a long recovery phase after serious mental health strain. Two hospitalizations, leaving work, medication adjustment, isolation, weight gain, low stamina… those are consistent with a nervous system that’s been overloaded and then shut down to recover. The “empty / no spark / can’t function like before” feeling is a very common post-crisis depression pattern, not a permanent identity.
A few important realities first, because they matter for direction:
Your current baseline (low stamina, social difficulty, low motivation) is not your final capacity. It’s your current recovery state.
“Not competitive for a master’s” is not a diagnosis of your future. It’s just one gatekeeper’s assessment of today’s profile.
You don’t need a “career decision” right now. You need a stability + reconditioning phase that later turns into a career phase.
Right now you’re trying to solve a “life design” problem while still in a “physical + psychological rehab” phase. That mismatch is what makes everything feel impossible.
1) The core issue is likely deconditioning, not laziness or lack of potential
After prolonged stress + inactivity, people commonly develop:
reduced exercise tolerance (1 hour in a store feels like a marathon)
weight gain (metabolic + behavioral shift)
social avoidance (brain conserving energy)
reduced executive function (planning, initiating tasks feels “blocked”)
anhedonia (no “spark” feeling)
This is reversible, but not by insight or motivation alone. It responds to graded activity, like physical rehab after injury.
2) The housekeeping idea is actually more rational than you’re giving it credit for
You dismissed it as “not a career,” but it actually has two advantages that matter right now:
predictable tasks (reduces cognitive load)
limited social complexity (good given current bandwidth)
The key question isn’t “is this my career forever?”
It’s:
“Can this job help me rebuild physical stamina + routine without overwhelming me?”
You are allowed to use a “bridge job.” Most stable careers are built through them, not around them.
That said, your concern is valid: housekeeping can be physically demanding. So it would need testing, not assumption:
start with 1–2 shifts/week if possible
evaluate fatigue recovery over 48 hours
treat it like a graded exposure experiment, not a commitment
3) Psychology degree path: you are not as blocked as you were told
Being told “don’t waste your time” is not a universal truth, it’s a competitiveness filter for one program at one moment.
Alternative entry routes that don’t require immediate high competitiveness:
research assistant (often more flexible than clinical programs)
admin roles in mental health clinics or universities
crisis hotline / peer support roles (if emotionally tolerable)
behavioral health technician / support worker roles
case management assistant roles
These are not “lesser.” They are adjacent entry points that can become stepping stones into graduate study later if you still want it.
Right now, the goal is not “be impressive enough for a master’s.”
It is:
“Rebuild functioning and evidence of stability over time.”
4) What actually helps in your situation (not motivational advice, but mechanics)
You don’t need inspiration as much as structured reactivation:
A. Minimum viable daily structure (non-negotiable, small)
wake time (consistent, not early)
10–20 min outside or standing/walking
one “maintenance task” (shower, laundry, food prep)
one “future signal task” (job search, email, application, course, CV tweak)
That’s it. Not 10 goals. Just 3–4 anchors.
B. Physical rebuilding is career-relevant for you right now
Your stamina issue is not separate from employment readiness.
Start absurdly small:
5–10 min walk daily
increase by ~10–20% per week only if tolerated
The goal is not fitness. It is capacity restoration.
5) The “no spark” feeling is not a reliable guide
One of the hardest distortions in this state is:
“If I don’t feel motivation, nothing is possible.”
In recovery states, motivation typically returns after action, not before it.
So the correct sequence is:
small action → mild capacity increase → slightly more action → gradual return of agency
Not:
wait for spark → then act
6) A more realistic framing of your situation
Right now you are not:
“someone who gave up”
You are closer to:
someone in post-crisis functional recovery
with reduced physical and social capacity
trying to re-enter life without scaffolding
That is fixable, but it requires pacing, not pressure.
7) One practical suggestion for your immediate decision
Instead of choosing between “career path” options, run a 2-week experiment:
Pick ONE:
housekeeping trial OR
light support/admin job search OR
structured volunteer shift
And define success as:
“Did I show up and recover within 24–48 hours afterward?”
Not “Did I succeed long-term?”
My whole life I was taught to believe that having a degree meant security. I know a lot of degrees aren't the best and I probably chose a bad one. I graduated 6 months ago with a Batchelors in Digital design. It was my dream to become an animator or character artist or just do anything creative. I didn't really know how to make that possible without education. Everyone kept saying get the degree. I graduated with high grades and was offered a position to do my masters but unfortunately I decided not to because of burnout and costs. I'm already 20k in debt and didn't want to add another 11k to that. I feel like I've made a really big mistake. My degree feels and seems useless. I don't even know what jobs I can apply for with the skills that I have. When I started studying there was a lot of demand for animators and artists but now it seems like all the work has disappeared. A lot of my university friends are in the same situation but atleast have part time jobs to support themselves. I've never had a decent job. Only 2 very casual positions.
My parents tried to push me into an education degree but I didn't get accepted into teaching school and in all honesty education is the last thing I want to do.
I stay at home and almost never leave my room now. I'm so stressed that I've started developing autoimmune disorders and ontop of that I found out this year that I have endometriosis. I'm so depressed and it just keeps getting worse.
After enduring shouting from my father today, telling me that I have to keep applying for jobs and call companies to basically sell my soul to them. I've reached a breaking point. Genuinely what can I do? I don't want 4 years to go to waste.
Jobadvisor
What you're carrying right now is genuinely heavy — the debt, the health issues, the pressure at home, the feeling that the ground shifted under you right after you did everything "right." That's a lot, and the exhaustion makes complete sense.
I want to push back on one thing though: your degree isn't useless, and your 4 years aren't wasted. The AI disruption hit creative fields hard and fast, and it caught a lot of skilled people off guard — this isn't a reflection of your ability or your choices.
Here's how I'd actually think about your situation:
What you likely have that employers want
A Digital Design degree usually means you can do some combination of: visual storytelling, motion graphics, UI/UX, 3D modeling, brand/illustration work, video editing, social content creation. Most people can't do these things. That's real leverage.
Where the work actually is right now
The animation studio pipeline has shrunk, but creative work hasn't disappeared — it's moved:
- Social media & content teams — brands need reels, motion graphics, visual assets constantly
- UX/UI roles — if you touched any interface design, this market is still solid
- Freelance on Contra, Fiverr Pro, or Toptal — even small projects build a portfolio and income
- Video game adjacent — indie studios, asset stores (Unity/Unreal), mobile games
- Motion graphics for marketing agencies — high demand, often overlooked by fine-art-trained designers
The most important immediate thing
Before applying anywhere, you need a portfolio that does the talking. Even 3–5 strong pieces on a clean Behance or personal site can open doors that a CV alone never will. What software do you actually use most — is it After Effects, Blender, Illustrator, something else? That would help narrow down where to focus first.
On the health and the not-leaving-your-room part — please don't treat that as a separate issue to deal with "later." Endometriosis alone is debilitating, and depression on top of a stressful home situation is a real weight on everything else. If there's any access to a GP or counselor, that deserves to be parallel to the job search, not after it.
You haven't failed. The timeline just got harder than it should have been.
Everything in life is extremely overwhelming
I quit my job around two months ago. The hours and inconsistent schedule destroyed my mental health and I just needed to stop working there. I planned on doing doordash and studying to get IT certifications (I graduated with an Associates in IT two years ago), but doordash has been really low pay in my area and the job prospects in IT just keep getting worse and worse every day. I'm currently living with my parents and they're paying me $100 a week to clean the house and take care of their dogs for them, and this at least covers the few bills I do have. There's so few jobs where I live that I'm done applying for jobs in around 30 minutes. After that the day is so empty. All I do is watch YouTube all day. I have autism and my executive dysfunction is extreme. Sometimes even thinking about doing something other than watch YouTube makes me so anxious I feel like I'm about to throw up. I'm incredibly worried about my future, I constantly feel like I'm seconds away from disaster. I'm getting nowhere with jobs, the only jobs I'm applying to are fast food and there's never anything IT related. My parents suggested going back to school and pivoting to a new career but I have no idea what to pivot to. I also am really worried about adding onto my student debt. It just all feels so pointless. Even if I get a job I'm still not enjoying life. I can't make my own body do anything I want to do. I have no goals or anything to work towards. I'm even hesitant to move out of my parent's place, the last time I lived on my own my mental health spiraled to the point I almost took my own life. I don't feel like a human.
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely heavy load — the job situation, the executive dysfunction, the fear about the future, the isolation of empty days, and carrying the memory of how bad things got when you were on your own. Any one of those would be hard. All of them at once makes "overwhelming" feel like an understatement.
A few things stand out to me that I want to name, not to fix them, just because they matter:
You're not lazy or broken. Executive dysfunction with autism is a real, physiological thing — it's not a character flaw. The fact that thinking about tasks makes you physically nauseated isn't weakness, it's your nervous system doing something it can't help doing. That distinction matters.
The emptiness of the day is its own problem. Not having structure or purpose is genuinely destabilizing for most people, and especially so for autistic people who often do better with routine and clear expectations. The YouTube spiral isn't you being a failure — it's your brain seeking the one thing that feels manageable and low-stakes right now.
The fear about living alone is worth taking seriously. You mentioned things got very dark the last time. Are you currently connected with any mental health support — a therapist, psychiatrist, or even a general practitioner? Not because something is wrong with you, but because what you're describing — the paralysis, the dread, the "I don't feel human" — sounds like someone who deserves actual support, not just grit-it-out advice.
The career and money questions are real and worth working through, but I'd gently suggest those are the second problem, not the first. The first one is: do you have someone in your corner right now, professionally?