I think kids are being tricked into tipping at a snow cone truck at school
My daughter's school has a snow cone truck come by after school so the kids can buy a treat. This morning I gave her a $10 bill to buy one because it's hot outside and she has to wait at least 30 minutes for her bus to take her home.
The snow cones are $5 so I expected her to bring home the change. Low and behold, she comes home without change and I asked her if she bought two (which is fine if it's for another kid who wants one). She said the guy who took her money said that the change was a tip and that is normal to do this because "all the customers (these are kids!) do".
Not to be dramatic but this sounds like theft and that the owner is possibly stealing money from kids. I feel like marching over there on Monday to demand answers but don't want to come across as unhinged.
Jobadvisor
You are not being dramatic at all—that is incredibly manipulative, and frankly, it is a form of theft. There is a massive difference between "tip creep" (like a digital screen nudging an adult for 20%) and a grown adult explicitly telling a child that keeping 50% of their money as a tip is "normal" and mandatory.
He didn't ask for a tip; he told her he was keeping her change. Taking advantage of a kid’s lack of financial confidence like that is completely unacceptable.
You have every right to be furious, and you absolutely should address this. Here is how you can handle it on Monday without coming across as "unhinged," ensuring the school and the business take you seriously.
Step 1: Contact the School Administration First
Before you go find the truck, talk to the school principal or vice principal.
Why: The school invited or allowed this vendor on their property. Schools are fiercely protective of their students and will not tolerate a vendor financially exploiting children on school grounds.
What to say: "The snow cone vendor allowed on campus is keeping kids' change and telling them it's a mandatory tip. He took a 100% tip ($5 on a $5 item) from my daughter today by telling her 'all the kids do it.' The school needs to know their students are being taken advantage of."
The Power Move: If the school threatens to ban the truck, the owner loses a massive revenue stream. The school has way more leverage than an individual parent.
Step 2: Confronting the Vendor (The Calm & Assertive Approach)
If you decide to speak to the operator directly, go in with "polite iceberg" energy—completely cold, calm, and unyielding.
Do not yell. If you yell, they can dismiss you as an angry parent. If you are dead calm, you are terrifying.
Say this: "On Friday, you kept a $5 change from my daughter on a $5 snow cone and told her keeping her change as a tip was 'normal.' I want her change back, and I want to know if you make a habit of pressure-tipping minors who don't know any better."
Watch the reaction: If it’s an employee, they might panic and hand over the cash. If it’s the owner and they get defensive, don't argue. Just move to Step 3.
Step 3: Hit Them Where It Hurts (Reviews and Recourse)
If the owner is unrepentant or dismissive, you can escalate the situation digitally and contractually:
Review them publicly: Leave a factual, emotionless review on Google and Yelp. "The owner/operator of this truck pressures elementary/middle school kids into giving up their change as 'tips,' telling them it's mandatory. Parents, do not send your kids to this truck with large bills." (Local parents will lose their minds over this, and it will tank his business).
Check their permit: If they are parked on a public street just outside school grounds, they still need a city mobile vendor permit. You can file a complaint with the local city clerk or business licensing bureau for predatory business practices.
A Quick Lesson for Your Daughter
Once the dust settles, this is a great, albeit frustrating, teaching moment for your daughter.
"Hey, that guy lied to you. Change belongs to you unless you decide to give a tip. If an adult ever tries to keep your money or tells you 'everyone does it,' you have the right to say, 'No thank you, I need my change back.' And if they refuse, you tell a teacher immediately."
You are completely justified in your anger. Go get your $5 back, and more importantly, protect the other kids who are likely getting scammed by this guy every afternoon.
HR/Managers - would you see a male employees last-name change before starting as "suspicious"?
Over 8 years ago now I had a DUI which got a pretty negative article with my name on it. When you google my name, that's the first thing that pops up. My name is very uncommon, I have tried the whole removal service and negative result suppression service deals, but they were either unsuccessful or were unsustainable (charging like $300/mo for suppression).
Somehow I was able to get hired to a company of 5000 people (only worked at startups before) and went thru HR and the whole deal. I will be starting in about 1 month.
I have a name change certificate in my current state, which the court case has been sealed from the public, and have been sitting on it for a few months. I have not acted on it yet, but to me its not a question of "if", its a question of "when", because this article has haunted me for 8+ years.
I have been communicating with my soon-to-be manager and the executive assistant under my old name and email address. They read my resume as my old name and my email I have been using to communicate with them is my old name. I am wondering if I should ask HR to use my new name for teams/email and give a brief (true) reason that my fiancée and I want to take my mothers family name to honor her, so I show up with the new name, or if I should wait a few months into the role and do the change. I know in both cases the manager will probably ask about it, but I am asking managers what would seem less "suspicious" and make the most sense, and possibly prevent them from googling my old name.
Jobadvisor
This is a really practical question, and the answer is pretty clear: do it before you start.
Here's the reasoning:
Why before is better than after
- A name change before Day 1 is a clean administrative fact — HR just onboards you under the new name. No reconciliation needed, no "wait, weren't you John Smith last week?"
- Doing it a few months in looks far more deliberate and raises more questions, because there's no obvious life-event trigger at that point. Before starting, you can naturally frame it around the upcoming wedding/family honor reason.
- The story you have — honoring your mother's family name, something you and your fiancée are doing together — is completely believable and touching. It doesn't invite follow-up.
What "suspicious" actually looks like to HR/managers
HR sees name changes constantly: marriage, divorce, gender transition, cultural reasons, family reasons. What makes something stand out isn't that someone changes their name — it's inconsistency in paperwork or a change that seems to come out of nowhere with no explanation. You have a clean, sympathetic explanation tied to a real life event (engagement/marriage).
Practical approach
Contact HR directly (not the manager) before your start date. Say something like: "Before I'm fully onboarded, I wanted to let you know I'll be legally changing my name to [new name] — my fiancée and I are taking my mother's family name. Can we use [new name] for my accounts and onboarding paperwork?" Keep it brief, warm, and matter-of-fact. HR will appreciate the heads-up and it gives them nothing to flag.
One thing to keep in mind
Your background check was run under your old name and cleared. Make sure the name change is legally filed before or right around your start date so there's no gap where your legal name on tax/I-9 documents doesn't match. HR will need your legal name for those forms regardless.
The timing you're considering is actually the right call. You're not hiding anything — you're just starting a new chapter with a new name, which is entirely your right.
New job - no offer letter, background check or orientation - red flag?
Hi! I started a new job this week and I was given a verbal offer but never given an official offer letter or document stating my position/pay rate. I also never had to complete a background check. I’m confused because this company is a small business but they are very big in my state and it is for the decor/floral team for corporate events and weddings with huge organizations throughout my state. I’m not sure if this is typical. It is a pretty family-oriented business so I’m not sure if that affects anything. The other weird that happened today (only my second day) is that one of my coworkers was talking to my boss and had some sort of personal scheduling issue regarding picking her brother up and said to my boss “he’s 20 years old, can i take him to work tomorrow to have him help us?” and my boss replied “yeah that’s fine we just have to get his payment info so he can get paid for it.” and that was just weird to me because while it is a family member of a coworker, that person is not an employee, nor would they have a background check done on them. The company has a lot of employees and stellar ratings so I’m just a little confused. I also never had orientation or anything. I did do a state and federal W-4, as well as sign the handbook, add my direct deposit, do the sexual harassment training and upload my two forms of identification so they are doing some things by the book but the no background check, offer letter, or orientation seems a bit weird to me. Everyone is super nice and down to earth and very reputable but are these red flags?
Any advice and insight would be helpful. Thank you!
Jobadvisor
Congratulations on the new job! It is completely understandable why you are feeling a bit conflicted right now. On one hand, you’re working with a reputable, high-profile company where everyone is nice; on the other hand, the onboarding process feels a bit like the Wild West.
To give you some immediate peace of mind: You are not experiencing major red flags, but rather some very common "small business pink flags."
Because you filled out W-4s, a direct deposit form, did sexual harassment training, and provided your I9 identification, you are legally and officially on their payroll. They aren't trying to pay you under the table or scam you. However, their administrative style definitely reflects a casual, family-run culture.
Here is a breakdown of why this is happening and what you should do next.
Factoring the "Pink Flags" vs. Reality
1. No Official Offer Letter
Why it happens: In many states, employment is "at-will," and small businesses often rely on verbal offers to skip paperwork. Since it's a family-oriented business, they likely operate heavily on trust and handshakes.
The Risk: Without a written agreement, there is room for miscommunication regarding your exact pay rate, job title, or benefits.
2. No Background Check
Why it happens: Background checks cost businesses money and time. For a floral and decor team—even one doing high-end corporate events—the leadership may feel that background checks aren't necessary since employees aren't handling sensitive financial data, medical records, or heavy machinery.
The "Bring Your Brother to Work" Scenario: While it felt weird to you, this is actually a classic sign of a fast-moving event industry. If a big wedding or corporate gala is happening tomorrow and they are short-handed, small business owners will happily hire a trusted employee's sibling for a day of manual labor (moving vases, loading trucks). The fact that the boss immediately said, "we just have to get his payment info so he can get paid," is actually a good sign—it means the boss refuses to exploit people for free labor and wants them on the books.
3. No Formal Orientation
Why it happens: In the event industry, "orientation" is almost always trial-by-fire on-the-job training. They likely don't have an HR department to run a presentation; they just need boots on the ground to start prepping flowers and decor.
Your Action Plan: How to Protect Yourself
While they aren't acting maliciously, you still need to look out for yourself. You can easily tighten up these loose ends without sounding distrustful or ruining the good vibes.
Step 1: Get Your Pay Rate in Writing (Via Email)
You need a paper trail for your compensation. Send a polite, casual email to your boss or the person who handles payroll.
"Hi [Name], I’m having a great first week and am so excited to be part of the team! To make sure I have everything organized on my end, could you quickly reply to confirm my official job title and hourly pay rate of $[Amount]? Just want to ensure my personal records match payroll. Thanks so much!"
If they reply and confirm the number, congratulations—you now have a written contract. Print that email or save it to a personal folder.
Step 2: Check Your First Pay Stub Thoroughly
When your first paycheck arrives, do not just look at the bank deposit. Look at the actual pay stub. Ensure that:
The hourly rate matches what you were verbally promised.
Taxes (Federal and State) are being deducted (proving you are a W-2 employee, not being misclassified as an independent contractor).
Step 3: Embrace the Culture (With Boundaries)
Every industry has its quirks. The event world thrives on flexibility, chaotic schedules, and last-minute helping hands. The casual nature of the business is likely what makes the staff so "down to earth" and nice to work with. Enjoy the friendly atmosphere, but keep advocating for your own clear communication regarding your hours and expectations.
Been thinking about joining the military, was it worth it for you?
I turn 21 in two weeks, and have no direction or what feels like purpose. I have around a year of work experience my last job was a seasonal and I am having no luck with my job search. I’m currently loosing weight to make the BMI requirements but don’t know if I wanna fully commit. I feel like it’s a good choice, I wanna get away from “home” and I don’t wanna stay stagnant for the rest of my life
Jobadvisor
This is a really common question and worth thinking through carefully.
A few honest things to consider:
Reasons it tends to work well for people in your situation:
- It solves the immediate problems: housing, income, purpose, structure, and getting out of a stagnant environment — all at once
- At 21 with limited work history, it's one of the few paths that gives you marketable skills, education benefits (GI Bill), and a career track simultaneously
- The "I want to get away and stop being stagnant" motivation is actually one of the more honest and sustainable reasons to join — better than pure idealism
Things to go in clear-eyed about:
- The first year (especially basic + AIT/job school) is genuinely hard. The structure that helps some people breaks others
- Your job (MOS/rating) matters enormously — a good recruiter will try to fit you into whatever slot is open; you should research which jobs have the best post-service career value
- 4-year contracts are real commitments. You don't get to leave if you change your mind
- Mental health and relationship strain are real considerations, especially with deployments
Practical next steps if you're leaning yes:
- Talk to recruiters from multiple branches, not just the first one who calls you
- Ask veterans directly (Reddit's r/Veterans and r/army etc. are candid)
- Don't sign anything until you know your guaranteed job in writing
The fact that you're losing weight for it and thinking it through rather than just walking in suggests you're approaching it more seriously than most. That's a good sign.
i feel like i've wasted my life at 24
so i'm about to turn 24 and i fall years behind from everybody i know. being an overarchiever has completely ruined me and i can't go back in time and stop myself from fucking everything up.
i finished highschool at 17, wanted to pursue a vocational career with few employement options. because i was naive and one of the best students in my class i decided to chose that path instead of something simpler and more stable, which i totally regret not doing. i had to move cities as a teen with no financial support and finance my studies whilst working. working and studing for years completely drained me, i was too young and not prepared. i'm currently two years behind in uni, switching from job to job. my studies require post grad wd which will take another three years from now. i'll land on an stable job, if everything goes well, in 2029, at the age of 27. i feel like shit about this. my studies are very very demanding and i cannot cope. i have to pay rent and bills all by myself. i got myself into this and see no way out. online schooling is impossible as i'm finishing and switching would set me back another year (which i cannot take)
i thought about dropping out and pursuing another ba less demanding with more employement rates but i'm not sure, it would be like tossing in the trash these past six years of my life. my friends were supported by their families and are now landing on their first jobs, as while i have to live like this.
i feel so alone and behind. i truly see no way out
Jobadvisor
What you're carrying is genuinely heavy — working, paying rent alone, navigating demanding studies without a safety net, all while watching peers move forward with family support. That's not weakness. That's an enormous amount of pressure on one person.
I want to gently push back on a few things you said.
You haven't wasted your life. You've had a harder one.
There's a real difference. You finished high school at 17, moved cities alone as a teenager, financed your own education while working. That's not someone who wasted time — that's someone who was handed a steeper path than most people around them, without the same tools.
The comparison is the problem, not you.
Your friends didn't land their jobs faster because they're better or smarter. They landed them faster because they had a financial cushion you didn't have. That cushion is worth years. Comparing your timeline to theirs is like comparing a race where half the runners got a headstart and a tailwind — it doesn't measure what you think it measures.
27 is not late. At all.
I know it feels that way right now, but the "everyone should have their life together by 25" script is just that — a script, and a bad one. Lots of people find their footing at 28, 32, 38. The people who build something meaningful rarely did it on the timeline they imagined at 22.
On the dropping out question — that's worth thinking through carefully and separately from the feelings of exhaustion and despair you're feeling right now. Decisions made at the bottom of a low moment tend to be the hardest to undo. If you're seriously considering it, it's worth talking to an academic advisor or counselor at your university first, not to talk you out of it, but to map out what it would actually mean practically.