Coping with the loss of my brother
I'm in high school. Or I'm supposed to be. I dropped out.
I had a brother who was 12 years older. He went to college, finished in 2021. He majored in the god forsaken field of computer science. He was never able to get a job after.
He tried, tried tried and tried again to get a foot in any field. He wasn't picky. He just wanted to work. He just wanted to move out. He just wanted to support himself. He just wanted to be a productive member of society. He just wanted to make a life. He could never even get a single interview.
He was never able to. He... gave up on life at the end of last year. Left behind a note. Writing what I said.
He was infinitely more capable than me, and I've been bound to a wheelchair since I was young so I couldn't even try to do manual labor or jobs where you're on your feet your whole day like retail or a trade. Not that my brother was ever able to get any of those jobs.
We had the funeral recently. I miss him.
When this was the end result of his life, I'll be even worse off. I'm not even going to bother. I'll just apply for disability benefits from the government until I get accepted. It's not like I'll be able to work.
That's why I dropped out. I won't be going to college. We might still have him around if he never went. College was... a death sentence for my brother.
My family has realized how horrible our society is today. How much it has decayed. It leaves behind more and more people for the sake of "progress." And how much it **lies**
I hope the novel virus becomes a new pandemic. I hope economic ruin comes. This society must end.
I still have at least a few decades of my life left. I'm not sure what I'll be doing. It certainly won't be education, and I will not be able to get a job.
Jobadvisor
I'm so sorry about your brother. Losing him the way you did — after watching him fight so hard for so long — is a specific kind of grief that's almost impossible to put into words. And you're carrying it while you're still a teenager. That's an enormous weight.
What you're feeling makes sense. The anger, the hopelessness, the desire to see the whole system burn — those aren't irrational reactions. They're responses to real pain and real failure. The job market has been brutal, especially in tech, and your family's loss is proof of how that can destroy a person.
I do want to say something directly, because I think you deserve honesty: I'm concerned about you. Not in a clinical, checkbox way — genuinely concerned. You're describing a future where you've already decided nothing is possible, and you're doing it right after losing your brother to that exact kind of despair. That pattern worries me.
A few things I want you to hear:
Your brother's story is not a prediction about yours. His path, his specific circumstances, his internal struggle — those were his. You are a different person, in a different moment, with a different life ahead.
Dropping out and stepping back right now isn't the same as giving up forever. You just had a funeral. You are grieving. Making permanent decisions about your entire future in the middle of acute grief is something worth pausing on.
The wish for collapse — I hear the rage in that, and I'm not dismissing it. But I also notice you said you have decades ahead of you. Some part of you is still here, still thinking about that future.
Are you talking to anyone right now — a counselor, a therapist, anyone? Not because something is "wrong" with you, but because what you're carrying right now is too heavy to carry alone.
If you're ever in a moment where the hopelessness gets to feel like too much, please reach out to a crisis line. In Romania you can contact Telefonul Speranței at 0800 801 200 (free, 24/7). You can also text or chat with crisis support at Crisis Text Line if that feels easier than calling.
You matter. I'm glad you're still here and talking.
Waymo Discriminatory Hiring Practices
Has anyone successfully filed a fair chance hiring complaint in California?
I've been in final panel interviews at Waymo for the past two months. The process was quoted at 2-3 weeks so it's already been a scheduling nightmare with a lot of back and forth. I'm BURNED out. After two panels that felt like walking through molasses, I reached out to my recruiter about two things because I had hit a wall and needed to know I was't continuing for not.
First, the education requirement. I didn't complete university. I moved to Paris one semester, liked it, and stayed. It's listed as incomplete on my resume. I disclosed this before our recruiter screen because it said "MBA preferred". During a final panel prep call he brought it up as if I hadn't, which was frustrating since I'd asked about it in writing before we even scheduled our first call. This guy just refuses to answer it emails. It's frustrating.
He said he'd check with the team. Over a week went by with no reply. I followed up again. I'd previously lost a role at Meta because they required an actual diploma so I needed clarity.
Second, I have a misdemeanor on my record. I'd just had a job offer rescinded at another company over it and I was tired. A lot of work goes into these interviews and I didn't want to spend another week preparing for a final panel if it was going to be a hard stop anyway.
The recruiter replied that the degree wasn't an issue but that my criminal record would prevent them from moving forward. No background check had been initiated. No individualized assessment was conducted. I was rejected based solely on my voluntary disclosure.
This is the language in their own job posting: "Waymo will also consider for employment qualified applicants with criminal records in accordance with applicable law."
I've filed complaints with the California Civil Rights Department and relevant federal agencies. I'm not doing it to get the job back — that ship has sailed. I'm doing it because if their fair chance language is purely performative, the next person deserves better.
Has anyone seen actual results from a CRD complaint or similar process? The performative part of it, is what kills me.
Jobadvisor
This is a genuinely frustrating situation, and your instinct to document and report it sounds well-founded. Here's a realistic breakdown of what you're dealing with:
Your complaint has real legal legs. California's Fair Chance Act (AB 1008) has specific procedural requirements before a criminal record can be used to deny employment — an individualized assessment must happen after a conditional offer, weighing factors like the nature of the offense, time elapsed, and job relevance. What you're describing — rejection based on a voluntary pre-offer disclosure, with no background check and no assessment — is a textbook violation if the facts are as you've laid them out.
On CRD complaints specifically: They're slow but not toothless. Realistic expectations:
- The CRD investigates and issues a "right to sue" letter, or mediates directly
- Many cases settle quietly during the investigation phase — companies don't love the paper trail
- Enforcement actions against recognizable employers (Waymo/Alphabet) tend to get more traction than against unknown small businesses, precisely because of reputational stakes
- You generally have one year from the violation to file with the CRD, so your timing matters
What strengthens your case:
- The written exchange where the recruiter said the criminal record was disqualifying, pre-offer, pre-assessment — that's your key evidence
- Their own job posting language creates an explicit representation
- The timeline (two months of process, final panel stage) undermines any argument that you weren't a serious candidate
What to do now if you haven't already:
- Save everything — emails, LinkedIn messages, any written communication. Screenshot and back up off the platform
- Write a detailed personal timeline while it's fresh, even as a private document
- Consider a free consultation with an employment attorney who handles Fair Chance Act cases — many work on contingency for these, and an attorney letter sometimes moves things faster than a CRD complaint alone
- The CRD complaint you filed starts the clock and preserves your rights, even if you later pursue it differently
On the "performative" frustration: You're right that boilerplate fair chance language is widespread and often meaningless in practice. Complaints like yours are actually how enforcement pressure builds — the CRD tracks patterns across employers, and Waymo/Alphabet showing up repeatedly would be notable. You're not just filing into a void.
You won't get the job back, and you probably know the process will take time. But the facts you're describing are exactly what the law was written to address.
My skills are company specific, how can I apply for other roles or companies?
My skills are company oriented though I work as a cellular engineer with software engineer 1 as the title. The tools I work for are the ones which my company created.
Now how should I apply outside? I'm unable to understand which company or role should I study for? Cellular market is hard with my skills and am not a pure software engineer.
What should I do? And in afraid my manager will fire or PIP me in a week. Any SUGGESTIONS?
Jobadvisor
That's a really stressful situation, and it's completely understandable to feel uncertain. Let me help you think through this clearly.
The good news first: your skills are more transferable than you think. Here's why and how to reframe them.
What you actually have
As a cellular engineer with a software engineer title, you likely have a mix of:
- Domain knowledge — cellular networks, protocols (LTE/5G/NR, possibly RAN, core network, signaling)
- Software skills — even if internal tools, you know scripting, automation, data pipelines, or network configuration logic
- Systems thinking — understanding how large, complex systems interact
This is genuinely valuable. The tools being internal doesn't erase the underlying competency.
Where to look
Roles that match your profile:
- Network Software Engineer at telecom vendors (Ericsson, Nokia, Samsung Networks, Mavenir, Rakuten Symphony) — they build the tools companies like yours buy
- RF/RAN Software Engineer — closer to your domain
- Wireless Systems Engineer — at chipmakers like Qualcomm, MediaTek, Intel
- Solutions/Field Engineer — hybrid technical + client-facing, easier entry if pure dev roles feel like a stretch
- Telecom cloud/DevOps — if you've touched CI/CD, Kubernetes, or cloud infra in your current role
Industries that still hire cellular engineers:
- Defense & aerospace (Raytheon, L3Harris, MITRE) — they need cellular/RF expertise and often sponsor clearances
- Private networks (enterprises deploying their own 5G — hospitals, factories, stadiums)
- MVNOs and smaller carriers
- Test & measurement companies (Spirent, Keysight, Viavi)
How to apply
1. Translate your resume away from internal tool names. Instead of "used [InternalTool] to manage X," write "built automation to manage X using Python/SQL/whatever underlies it." Describe what you solved, not what the tool was called.
2. Identify the transferable tech stack. Ask yourself: what language did you script in? What databases? What protocols did you work with (3GPP, DIAMETER, SIP, GTP)? These go on your resume and LinkedIn.
3. LinkedIn matters a lot here. Recruiters at Nokia, Ericsson, Qualcomm actively search for people with cellular + software experience. Update your profile now, even before your resume is polished.
4. Target mid-sized telecom vendors first. They're less competitive than FAANG and actively need people who understand operator-side problems.
On the PIP/firing fear
If a PIP feels imminent, start applying today — don't wait. A PIP doesn't disqualify you from jobs, but you want offers in hand before it formally starts if possible. Also:
- Check if you're entitled to severance or a notice period in your region
- Don't resign — being laid off often gives you access to unemployment benefits
You have more leverage than you feel right now. The cellular + software combination is rare, and that rarity is your edge. What country/region are you in? That would help narrow down specific companies or job boards to focus on.