.jpg)
Anyone else stuck doomscrolling and overthinking for years instead of actually taking action?
I genuinely cannot tell if I’m lazy, depressed, addicted to doomscrolling, afraid of failure, or just incapable of taking action.
For years I’ve been obsessed with tech/computers and constantly thinking about changing my life. One week I want to become a software engineer, the next week I want to go into cybersecurity. I spend HOURS researching careers, watching YouTube videos, reading Reddit threads, comparing roadmaps, looking at what successful people are doing, and imagining the future version of myself that finally “gets it together.”
But in reality? Almost no action.
I’m doomscrolling Reddit the whole day, telling myself I will start taking action. Its been years. 0 action. I feel like im the dumbest person in the world and want to end it all.
Every day feels like overthinking, researching, comparing myself to everyone, planning, getting overwhelmed, then escaping into more scrolling.
I’ll tell myself:
“Tomorrow I’ll finally start learning seriously.”
Then tomorrow comes and I avoid it again.
The weird part is that I DO care about computers and tech. I can spend hours reading about cybersecurity, Linux, AI, software careers, systems, etc. But when it’s time to actually sit down and learn consistently, my brain resists so hard that I avoid it completely.
I’m 24 and I feel extreme pressure that I’m already behind in life. I constantly compare myself to people younger than me who already have skills, jobs, projects, internships, or years of coding experience. It makes me feel hopeless and ashamed.
I also don’t know if I truly want software engineering, cybersecurity, or if I’m just chasing identities because I want to feel valuable. Sometimes I wonder if I even like tech at all, because if I really liked it, wouldn’t I actually DO something instead of endlessly consuming content about it?
Has anyone else experienced this cycle of obsession with self-improvement, endless overthinking, doomscrolling, fear of starting, constantly changing goals, and feeling mentally paralyzed for years?
How did you break out of it?
Jobadvisor
Your message caught my attention — you mentioned wanting to "end it all." I want to make sure I understand what you mean. Are you having thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself?
Whatever's going on, I'm glad you're here and talking about it. What you're describing — the paralysis, the shame spiral, years of feeling stuck — sounds genuinely exhausting, and you deserve support, not just productivity advice.
24 have finances but still stuck have no meaning in life. What do I do?
Long rambling you've been warned.
All my life I've been alone. No friends , my family barely talks to me.
I live with my folks but only cause it's impossible to afford rent. We have barely any conversations. Growing up i believe I was never able to meet thier expectations so I think they gave up on me. I gave up on me as well. During high school I didn't plan on graduating I just wanted to kill myself .
I wish I could go back and try again on all the time I wasted. The time I just sat in the halls or the bathroom all alone. I didn't even go to graduation, since by my last year I didn't know anyone. If you showed my picture at the school Noone would know me. I was that alone. I would go home and wish I would die doing something that had meaning, that way I would be recognized at least. I'd picture myself in a movie dying fighting someone and wish that could happen.
Never had any skills, my parents always told me I wasn't trying hard enough when I failed. And I pretty much failed all the time . I never scored higher than a B my whole life.
I played soccer when I was little, but one game I overheard the coach saying Don't sub him in he's bad in the middle of a semi final game. So I quit after that. That was the last thing I had at that time. I would play pokemon when I got home , which eventually became magic cards which I still play but not good enough for pro. Or anything other than a hobby that costly and brings temporary joy.
Never been out with friends for hours , never even ordered something at a restaurant alone or without it being a faimly dinner I was dragged too. At which I just sit there and keep my mouth shut and am not spoken to other than the what are you ordering.
I eat alone in my room each night, can't cook . I work a dead end job with no room for growth. Been stuck there for 5 years. I just lift boxes all day and zone out with my thoughts. Everyone at my work is old and hates my generation cause "we don't wanna work" . I have to work cause otherwise I would get kicked out. I've applied to other jobs but nothing or it doesn't cover my medication I need.
I have saved up a ton of money over 100k and invested it in index funds but outside of that I have no meaning in my life. I figured maybe someday i could just give it to someone who is young and they could make a future with it , that way i could of at least impacted someone's life. I go out to card game events Sundays but outside of that I have nothing to look forward too.
I work afternoons Monday - friday so I can't really meet people since most people my age are working / school during those hours.
I meet people at the card events but it never goes beyond aquntince. Like most my attempt at relationships. Never had a girlfriend. Never held a girl's hand or even had a conversation with one over 5 minutes, that wasn't my mom.
I watch anime and just play shootergames on Saturday and thr weekdays before work .
I'm on antidepressants and stomach infusion. Have issues with digestion and inflammation for acne . Pretty sure I was depressed through middle school and my whole life. I would hit myself in middle school when I didn't get it right . My parents would get mad when I did bad in school.
I sleep more than I should now, since I can escape reality. Mainly my dreams are me back in school living a life I wanted . But then I wake up and back to hell I go.
I can't drive, my parents don't think it would be safe for me or the other drivers. I agree I don't wanna run anyone over. I'm a slow learner and it would be costly thanks war in Iran.
I tried programming courses online but I barely passed so I gave up on that after a year and a bit. Tried writing when I was young , teacher liked my short stories and they said it could be published. Then my parents began pressuring me to do better and I eventually didn't meet their expectations again and I gave up on it along with them.
After 2021 I met some people online thanks to covid. At first it was the first time I felt like I had friends. We would play games online, even tho we were all around the world it was a place where I felt welcomed. Eventually they got tired of me and I was excluded. I called them out and left. Since then I haven't had a conversation with anyone outside of the card events on Sunday. Even then I don't feel like getting hurt again. So I just don't bother to baseball to hang out or make any plans. I stuck at conversation, don't watch any sports . I just read manga/ watch animated stuff.
I've never experienced stuff that seems normal to everyone. Never been to a baseball game . Never been to a dance. Never been on a plane. Never had my dad say I believe i you. My dad was always working most my life when I was young. So I didn't see him unless it was a weekend. Even then he'd just be concerned about my studies and athletic abilities. He wanted me to be athlete, he played basketball but he worked a dead end job his whole life . Same with my mom. They still working the same minimum wage jobs 24 years later.
I'm grateful for a place to live and ability to save my money. But outside of that it feels like I'm just losing my will to do anything day in and out.
If you read this far thanks .
Jobadvisor
What you wrote took courage, and I read every word of it.
I want to say something clearly first: you mentioned wanting to die more than once in what you shared — back in high school, wishing you'd die doing something meaningful. I don't know where you are with those feelings right now, but I'd rather ask directly than skip past it. Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be here now?
I'm asking because I want to respond to what's actually going on with you, not just the surface question about purpose.
What I notice reading your story isn't someone who "gave up" or who was never good enough. I see someone who kept trying — soccer, programming, writing, online friendships, card events — and got hurt every single time they reached out or tried. That's not a character flaw. That's an incredibly heavy thing to carry for 24 years, mostly alone.
The money you saved — over $100k on a warehouse wage while dealing with all of this — that's not nothing. That takes real discipline and intelligence. You did that.
The fact that you wrote this, clearly and honestly, shows the same person whose teacher said his stories could be published. That person didn't disappear. He just got buried under a lot of pain and discouragement.
I don't want to throw a list of tips at you right now. But I do want to ask one thing:
Are you currently seeing anyone — a therapist, counselor, anyone — beyond the doctor who prescribes your antidepressants?
Not because something is wrong with you. But because you've been carrying this alone for a very long time, and you deserve to have someone in your corner who actually knows your full story.
Stopped sending "just following up" emails and started sending something actually useful. Response rate went up noticeably.
For a long time my follow-up emails after interviews were some version of "just wanted to follow up on my application, still very interested, let me know if you need anything." Which is fine I guess but it's also completely forgettable and adds zero value to the conversation.
A few months ago I changed my approach. Now after every interview I send a follow-up within 24 hours that includes one specific thing I thought about after the call. Not a long essay, just something like: "After our conversation I pulled up some numbers on [thing we discussed] and found that [brief relevant observation]. Thought it might be useful context." Or sometimes if they mentioned a problem they're working on I'll send a short note with one concrete idea, three or four sentences max.
The point isn't to show off, it's to give them something to actually respond to. "Just following up" has nothing to grab onto. A specific observation or question does.
Out of the last 8 interviews where I sent this type of follow up, 6 wrote back, 3 of those moved me to next rounds. Out of the 5 before that where I sent the generic version, 1 wrote back.
A few things that helped me do this well: take notes during the interview on things that seem important to them, not just questions they ask. And keep the follow-up short, like 4-6 sentences total. If it's longer than that it becomes homework for them to read and they probably won't. Not saying this works everywere but for me it made a real difference.
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely good insight, and the data you're tracking makes it even more credible — 6/8 vs 1/5 is a meaningful difference, not just a feeling.
The core logic holds up: "just following up" is a request dressed as a courtesy. It asks them to do something (give you an update) while giving them nothing. A specific observation flips the dynamic — you're contributing before asking, which changes how the interaction feels to the reader.
The length constraint you landed on is probably doing more work than it seems. Four to six sentences is short enough that it reads as confident rather than eager. A long follow-up signals anxiety; a tight one signals you have other things going on too.
The note-taking shift is underrated as well. Most people take interview notes defensively — logging what they said, what they were asked. Noting what seems important to them is a different cognitive mode, more like listening for what they actually care about rather than tracking your own performance. That's the raw material for a useful follow-up.
One thing worth naming: this works partly because it's still rare. Most candidates do exactly what you used to do. The bar for standing out in follow-ups is low, which makes the return on a small improvement disproportionately high. That probably won't stay true forever if the advice spreads widely enough, but right now the gap is real.