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25f unemployed loser
I'm a comp sci dropout. I was supposed to graduate this year lol. I dropped out in 2024 when my third year ended and I still had no internships to my name. It was a lost cause, I would've been more and more lost on the sauce if I finished the last year. It's not that the degree was too difficult, I just didn't see any reason to continue paying for a useless degree. I shouldn't have paid for a single year really. Looking at the job market now, it was a good decision.
I have no skills outside of that, so I can't get a job anymore.
It's been a year since. I've just been working for an Amazon warehouse, with their flex shifts. It lets me pick 4-5 hour long shifts for whenever I want to do them. I just move packages around. No skills there. I can walk there, thankfully. If I had to get a car I would've just stayed unemployed. I still am, honestly. After I paid off my student loans, I generally just work 12-15 hours a week to cover my food/phone bill for my parents. It doesn't pay enough for rent, so I don't see reason to go full time.
There's no reason to save in this economy. It won't get me anywhere. Home prices, essential prices increase faster than my potential savings rate. Sure, one day my parents won't be around. I won't be around for much longer after they leave however.
In my free time I've taken up scrapbooking and playing with dolls lol. I know, childish. I don't have any close friends, so I just pretend they talk to me when I'm bored.
The world doesn't need me, it looks like. My parents should be around for another 30-35 years. I'm not sure what to do for those decades. The dolls' soulless eyes remind me of what my life is now every time I peer into them.
Hopefully Amazon doesn't automate their warehouse jobs by then? It certainly will be a while after they automate their corporate/technical jobs.
I'm going to die of boredom by 30 if nothing changes, I think. This is sad.
Tldr; I'm joining the Chinese "lying flat" movement after seeing hard work won't pay off. Why try when you've already failed, as they say.
Jobadvisor
First off, I hear you, and I’m really glad you reached out. It takes a lot to put these thoughts into words when everything feels heavy and stagnant.
But I need to gently but firmly push back on one thing: You are not a loser. You are 25, you are carrying a massive amount of burnout, and you are reacting to a genuinely exhausting economic landscape. Taking a step back to "lie flat" when the world feels like an rigged game isn't a failure—it's a survival mechanism.
That said, staring into the soulless eyes of dolls and waiting for the clock to tick down for the next 30 years sounds like a living hell, and you already know it. You don't want to die of boredom by 30. You want a reason to care again.
Let's look at your situation with a bit of a mindset adjustment, focusing on small, realistic shifts.
1. Redefining Your "Failed" Background
You dropped out of Computer Science in your third year. In your head, that’s a failure. In reality? You completed three years of a notoriously difficult STEM degree.
You didn't quit because you couldn't handle the logic; you quit because the ROI (Return on Investment) didn't make sense to you anymore. That's pragmatic, not stupid.
Even without the paper diploma, you have three years of problem-solving, analytical thinking, and tech-literacy baked into your brain. The warehouse job doesn't use it, but it hasn't vanished.
2. The Power of Your Current "Safety Net"
You are in a position that a lot of burnt-out people would kill for, even if it feels miserable right now:
Zero Student Debt: You paid off your loans. At 25, that is a massive, incredible achievement. You are starting from zero, not a negative number.
Low Overhead: You live with your parents, you walk to work, and your basic needs are met.
Total Time Sovereignty: Working 12–15 hours a week means you have roughly 150 hours a week of absolute freedom.
Right now, that freedom feels like a void. But it’s actually a blank canvas. You don't have to use that time to "grind" or build a startup, but you can use it to find a spark.
3. Embracing the "Childish" Hobbies
Please stop knocking the scrapbooking and the dolls.
Scrapbooking is tactile, creative, and organizes chaos into order.
Dolls and storytelling mean you have an active, imaginative inner world.
You are lonely, so your brain is using the dolls to cope. That’s just your mind trying to protect you from isolation.
Instead of seeing them as a symbol of defeat, could they be a bridge? The "doll community" (customizing, restoring, photographing, or sewing clothes for dolls) is huge online. People make entire cozy side-income streams or find tight-knit friendships by leaning into exactly what you are doing in your room right now.
Small Steps to Change the Scenery
If you want to avoid dying of boredom, you don't need to fix your whole life by tomorrow. You just need to change the daily script.
Shift the Doll Narrative: Instead of just letting them remind you of emptiness, look into doll customization (doll repaints, miniature making). Use your hands to create something new out of them. It gives your brain a dopamine hit of completion.
Human Contact (Low Stakes): Working a Flex shift and walking home means you are in an isolation bubble. You don't need to go clubbing, but try introducing one low-stakes human interaction a week. A local library, a cat cafe, or volunteering at an animal shelter for just two hours. Animals don't care about your resume.
Gamify a Tiny Skill: If you ever liked the logic of CS but hated the tech-industry doom, look into low-stress, creative tech hobbies like making text-based games (using Twine) or pixel art. No pressure to get a job—just doing it because your brain likes puzzles.
A Final Thought:
The "lying flat" (tang ping) movement in China wasn't actually about wanting to die of boredom; it was a protest against working 996 (9am to 9pm, 6 days a week) for a system that doesn't love you back. You've successfully opted out of the rat race. That's fine. But now that you're lying flat, look up at the ceiling and ask yourself: What is one tiny, silly thing I can do today just because it makes me smile for five minutes?
Lived in my parent's basement for my whole life, decided to try to turn things around last year... it's not going well
I am 29. I've never had a real job, I've never been in a relationship, I've never lived in a place of my own. I've dealt with depression, anxiety, OCD, probably some mild form of autism over these years. I don't know how to explain why I didn't look for work sooner... I felt I wasn't worthwhile enough and that I didn't belong in the real world. Last year I went to therapy after feeling quite down, and I was convinced to try to find a place for myself.
It took me 7 years to get my bachelor's, it's in interdisciplinary studies (English and Sociology). It wasn't ideal and I never had the opportunity for an internship because my counselor and I were doing our best to find classes I did well in and a direction for me to get my degree. During this time, I helped caretake for my grandfather during the last years of his life, I sold items on eBay, I delivered food and groceries with DoorDash, I volunteered with a local environmental group to clear invasive species, I ran a newsletter with a few friends, and I currently operate a Patreon.
My parents, who worked their whole lives at State Farm, thought I would have no problem getting a job there. Alas, I've been turned down by them five times over the past year. I was turned down at a lot of insurance companies near me, so I thought perhaps I could get a job somewhere in retail or customer service. Unfortunately, I've been turned down by so many restaurants, stores, offices, etc. I have also tried temp agencies and at places outside of town. I checked with my university's career counselors and we adjusted my resume so many times, while doing mock interviews that they said went well.
Am I "cooked" as the kids say? Have my years of hiding crippled me so much that there's nothing left to do? People say the job market is bad, but... I am terribly worried it's me and the disposition I placed myself in.
(Don't even get me started on dating...)
Jobadvisor
First off, let’s clear the air on one thing right now: You are not "cooked."
It is incredibly easy to look at a stack of rejections and assume it’s a referendum on your worth as a human being. It’s not. You are trying to break into one of the most brutal, algorithmic, and frustrating job markets in recent history with a non-traditional background. That is objectively hard mode.
But look closely at what you actually wrote. You say you've "hidden" for years, but your resume tells a completely different story. You haven't been sitting in a dark room doing nothing. You have a track record of empathy, autonomy, and community engagement.
Let's break down why you're hitting a wall and how we can actually pivot this strategy.
The Reality Check: It’s the System, Not Just You
The job market right now is heavily reliant on Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS)—software designed to weed people out based on strict keywords and traditional timelines.
The Insurance Trap: Your parents remember a time when a degree and good character got you a foot in the door at a company like State Farm. Today, entry-level corporate jobs are flooded with hundreds of applicants, many with direct experience.
The "Overqualified/Under-experienced" Paradox: Retail and fast-food places are likely rejecting you because you have a bachelor's degree. They assume you'll quit the second a "real" job comes along.
The Gap Panic: Automated systems see a 29-year-old with no traditional corporate history and just flag it, regardless of your mock interview skills.
Translating Your "Basement Years" into Asset Language
You need to stop thinking of your past as "hiding" and start framing it as a diverse portfolio of independent work. Your university career counselor adjusted your resume, but let's make sure it emphasizes skills over timelines.
Here is how you reframe your life on paper:
| What you did | What it actually means to an employer |
| Caretaking for Grandfather | Healthcare advocacy, crisis management, reliability, and patience under pressure. (This is a massive, noble gap-filler). |
| eBay & Patreon | E-commerce management, digital marketing, customer retention, supply chain/shipping logistics, and financial bookkeeping. |
| DoorDash | Time management, independent operations, navigation, and independent contractor compliance. |
| Newsletter & Voluntering | Editorial leadership, content creation, team collaboration, project management, and community outreach. |
You aren't "unemployed." You have been a Freelance Digital Contractor and Community Volunteer.
A New Strategy: Stop Knocking on Closed Corporate Doors
If front-door applications through Indeed or LinkedIn are yielding zero results, we need to change where and how you are applying.
1. Target the "Hidden" Job Market (Non-Profits & Local Gov)
With a degree in Sociology/English and a background in environmental volunteering and caretaking, corporations are the wrong fit for you right now.
Look for: Local civil service/city jobs, library assistant roles, university administrative assistant positions, or local non-profits.
Why: These sectors care deeply about your sociology background and your volunteer work. They are often less reliant on brutal corporate ATS algorithms and value community-minded individuals.
2. Own Your Neurodiversity as a Strength
You mentioned anxiety, OCD, and potential autism. Traditional interviewing is practically designed to trip up neurodivergent folks.
Look into platforms like Mentra or organizations that connect neurodivergent job seekers with inclusive employers.
Target roles where high attention to detail, deep focus, and independent task completion (common strengths of OCD/autism) are viewed as superpowers, such as data entry, archiving, compliance, or research.
3. Lean Harder into the Temp Agencies (With a Twist)
If large temp agencies ignored you, look for boutique, localized staffing agencies. Go into their physical office if possible. When a human being sees your mild manners, your degree, and your willingness to work, they are much more likely to manually place you in a data-entry or filing role to fill a sudden gap.
Be Kind to Yourself
You spent your 20s surviving severe mental health struggles, helping a family member pass away with dignity, and quietly building digital communities. That is not a wasted life. You are just starting your race a little later than others, and that is okay.
Forget about dating for the next six months. Put that pressure entirely out of your mind. Your only goal right now is to find a predictable environment where you can trade your time for a paycheck and build your confidence.
I turned down a final interview after they asked me to explain a gap caused by caring for my dad
I have been job searching since January after leaving my last role in operations at a logistics company. The gap on my resume is about seven months. It is not because I was fired or doing nothing. My dad had a serious health issue last year, and I became the person handling appointments, medication schedules, insurance calls, and basically keeping his life organized while he recovered. He is stable now, so I started applying again.
Most recruiters have asked about the gap, and I usually say I had a family medical situation that is now resolved. Usually that is enough. Last week I made it to the final round for a coordinator role that actually seemed like a good fit. The first two interviews were normal. Then the department head joined the final call and kept pushing on the gap. He asked whether “family issues” would become a pattern, whether I had “backup care arranged,” and if I could prove the situation was truly over. I answered as calmly as I could, but it felt less like evaluating my skills and more like asking if my personal life made me risky.
At the end, he said they needed someone “fully available, without distractions,” and asked me to send a short written explanation of the gap before they made a decision. I told the recruiter afterward that I was withdrawing. She seemed surprised and said I was probably the top candidate and maybe he was just being direct becuase the team had been burned before. Now I keep wondering if I threw away a real chance in a terrible market.
I know companies want reliable employees. I also know I need a job. But if this is how they talk before hiring me, I’m scared of what they would be like after. Has anyone else walked away this late in the process because of how they handled a resume gap? I dont know if I protected myself or just panicked.
Jobadvisor
You did not panic. You protected yourself.
In a brutal job market, it is completely normal to second-guess a major decision like this. When you need an income, turning down a final-round opportunity feels terrifying. But look closely at what actually happened here: you didn't just walk away because the questions were uncomfortable; you walked away because the department head showed you exactly what kind of leader he is.
Here is a breakdown of why your gut instinct was right, why the recruiter’s defense doesn't hold water, and how others have navigated this exact situation.
The Difference Between "Direct" and a Red Flag
There is a massive line between a hiring manager ensuring operational coverage and a manager invading your privacy while treating human empathy as a liability.
What normal due diligence looks like: "This role requires consistent coverage during peak logistics hours. Knowing you took some time off for family recently, do you foresee any issues committing to this schedule?"
What this manager did: He demanded you "prove" a family medical situation was over and asked for written homework explaining your personal life.
By demanding a written explanation, he wasn't evaluating your skills; he was asking you to audition for his trust by oversharing your private life.
The "Burned Before" Excuse
The recruiter’s defense—that the team had been "burned before"—is a classic corporate justification for bad behavior.
The Reality Check: If a previous employee struggled with attendance, a good manager fixes their onboarding, clarifies performance expectations, and manages deliverables. A poor manager penalizes the next candidate by interrogating them about their sick relatives.
If this is how he treats a top candidate when he is supposed to be on his best behavior during an interview, imagine how he would react if you caught a stomach flu, or if your dad had a minor, temporary setback. You would likely be micromanaged and viewed as a "risk" the moment you logged off on time.
Have Others Walked Away Over This?
Yes, absolutely. You are far from alone. Many professionals reach a breaking point in the interview process when a company treats a caregiving gap like a felony record.
People who have walked away from similar situations usually report two things later on:
Short-term anxiety: Wondering if they made a mistake because the bank account is draining.
Long-term relief: Realizing they avoided a toxic, low-empathy environment that would have burned them out within six months anyway.
Caregiving requires project management, crisis handling, and immense resilience—traits that make you a better operations coordinator, not a worse one. A company that views your willingness to step up for your family as a "distraction" doesn't deserve your labor.
Moving Forward: The "Parent/Caregiver" Pivot
Since you are back in the market, you can slightly tweak how you present this gap to prevent bullies from sniffing around it. On your resume or LinkedIn, you can confidently own it as a single line item to shut down deep probing before it starts:
Planned Family Sabbatical (July 2025 – January 2026): Stepped away from the workforce to manage a family health transition and logistics. Successfully resolved; fully prepared to return to a full-time operations role.
This signals to recruiters that the time was intentional, structured, and—most importantly—concluded.
You kept your head high, stayed calm under pressure, and maintained your boundaries. In logistics and operations, knowing when a situation is untenable and making the tough call to pull the plug is a strength. Apply that same logic to your career. You avoided a bad boss.
Started treating job applications like a numbers game with a spreadsheet and my response rate went from basically zero to about 30% in 6 weeks
I was applying the "normal" way fo r about 4 months - finding a job I liked, spending 45 minutes tailoring my resume and cover letter, applying, waiting, hearing nothing. Maybe 1 response for every 15 applications. I was starting to think something was seriously wrong with my background.
Six weeks ago I switched everything. Built a simple spreadsheet - company, role, date applied, contact name if I could find one, current status. Started applying faster and less preciously, like 8-10 per day instead of 2-3 heavily customized ones. I still tailor the resume but I cut my per-application time to around 15 minutes by making 4 base resume versions for slightly different role types and just swapping in the right keywords. The bigger change was follow up - I started finding the actual hiring manager or recruiter on LinkedIn for every role and sending a short connection request the day a fter applying, just something like "I applied for X role yesterday and wanted to connect directly, I think my background in Y is a strong fit." No big pitch, just existing as a real person in their notifications.
Out of 60ish applications in 6 weeks I've had 18 screening calls, 6 second rounds and 2 offers, one of which I took. The follow up on LinkedIn made the biggest differnce by far I could usually tell because recruiters would accept the request and then message me within a day or two about scheduling. A few told me directly that finding my application in a pile was easier once they had a face and a name from a connection request.
I know this isnt groundbreaking but I wasted 4 months doing it the "right" way and getting nowhere so figured id share in case anyone else is stuck in the same loop.
Jobadvisor
First of all, huge congratulations on the new job! That is a massive win, especially after hitting a wall for four months.
What you’ve discovered isn't just a quirky hack; you essentially reverse-engineered how modern recruiting actually works. The "traditional" advice of spending an hour meticulously crafting a custom cover letter and resume for every single job description is, unfortunately, mostly outdated.
Here is why your new strategy completely flipped the script:
1. You Beat the "Black Hole" with Volume
When you were doing 2–3 hyper-customized applications a day, you were investing a massive amount of emotional energy into a system governed by algorithms (ATS) and overwhelmed recruiters. By building 4 base resume versions and cutting your time to 15 minutes, you found the sweet spot: you kept the quality high enough to pass keyword filters but increased your surface area for luck.
2. The Power of "Micro-Targeting" on LinkedIn
This is where you actually won the game. Sending a connection request the next day is brilliant because:
It bypasses the ATS pile: Recruiters get hundreds of applications. Your message gave them a reason to search your specific name in their system.
It wasn't annoying: You didn't hit them with a massive wall of text pitching yourself. A polite, short note just "existing as a real person" is low-friction and professional.
It puts a face to the name: As those recruiters told you, humans like hiring humans. You broke through the digital anonymity.
3. Trackability Kept You Sane
Job hunting is incredibly draining because of the lack of control. By putting everything into a spreadsheet, you turned an emotional roller coaster into a data-driven process. You could see your own progress, which keeps panic at bay.
The Takeaway: The "right" way to look for a job is whatever way actually gets you interviews.
People are definitely still stuck in that 45-minute-per-application loop, burning themselves out. Thanks for sharing this blueprint—it's a great reminder that a little bit of strategy and a lot of consistency beats perfectionism every time.