28M, Unemployed, Lost Interest in IT and Life, Feeling Left Behind and Don’t Know What to Do Next
28M. Lost. I don’t know what to do in life. I don’t find interest in anything. Bought courses online but cannot focus on them. I have a BTech degree in Software Engineering. Graduated in 2021. Due to Covid, I was not able to do internships because the university was closed. After that, I took admission in a Master’s in Computer Science, but I dropped out as my scholarship was about to end and I still hadn’t written my thesis paper. Plus, the management team of the university was not good at all, so they didn’t inform us about anything in advance. I left the university and came back to my country in 2024.
After coming back, I took a course in Data Science at an institute, and that institute also provided an internship. I did that for 6 months with no pay. After that, I started applying for jobs but got rejected all the time, even though I showed my projects. I know that the job market is cooked right now. Without referrals, you can’t get any job. Getting a job is like winning the lottery these days.
I saw that the market is transitioning towards AI/ML Engineer roles, so I took a new course last month to upskill myself. Truthfully, I have lost interest in it. I don’t feel like attending the classes and have lost interest in Data Science. In short, I have lost interest in the whole IT sector. I now think I was doing all this for money, with no real interest in it. Just for survival.
People say to find your own path where you love what you do and get paid for it. But till now, I have not found my path. I am so cooked and lost right now. Every day I wake up with anxiety about what I will do in my life. Everybody is settled, and I am left behind. Living with my parents, unemployed at 28 years of age, asking them for pocket money is the worst feeling ever.
I hate myself right now. I don’t know what to do. I am getting depressed, overthinking, anxious, and I don’t find interest in doing anything entertaining as well, like playing games or watching movies. I don’t know what to do and how to do it.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you're carrying an enormous amount right now — not just career stress, but a deeper exhaustion that's affecting everything, including things that used to bring you joy. That matters, and I want to acknowledge it seriously before anything else.
When you say you've lost interest in games, movies, and entertainment — not just work — that's worth paying attention to. That's not laziness or a lack of motivation. That's a sign your mind and body are genuinely depleted. Anhedonia (losing pleasure in things you used to enjoy) is one of the clearest signs that someone is struggling emotionally, not just professionally.
You're not "cooked." You're burnt out and grieving. Grieving the internship you never got, the Master's that didn't work out, the years of effort that haven't paid off yet. That grief is real and valid.
A few things I want to gently push back on:
"Everybody is settled and I'm left behind." This is the anxiety talking. Social media and surface-level comparisons hide a massive amount of struggle. Many people who look "settled" at 28 are in jobs they hate, relationships that are falling apart, or deeply in debt. The comparison is a lie your anxious brain tells you.
"I was doing it all for money, not real interest." That's not shameful — that's honest. Most people work to live. The "do what you love" advice is genuinely bad advice for a lot of people. Plenty of people have decent, respectable careers they're good at, without being passionate about them — and they find meaning outside work.
"Without referrals, you can't get a job." The market is hard right now, that's true. But you're also applying from a place of burnout and low confidence, which comes through. That's not your fault — it's a cycle that feeds itself.
What I'd actually suggest right now:
The career question can wait a little. Seriously. Before figuring out what to do, you need to stabilize how you feel. Here's what that might look like concretely:
-
Talk to someone — a therapist, counselor, or even a doctor. What you're describing (anhedonia, constant anxiety, self-hatred, inability to focus) deserves professional support, not just willpower. This isn't weakness; it's maintenance.
-
Stop the course for now. Forcing yourself through material you hate while already depleted just deepens the hole. A few weeks off won't destroy your career. Burning out completely might.
-
Get physical. Walk outside every day, even 20 minutes. It sounds trivial — it's not. It's one of the few things with strong evidence for breaking the anxiety/depression cycle.
-
Separate the identity question from the job question. "Who am I and what do I love?" is a huge, exhausting question. "What's a decent next step that pays okay?" is smaller and more actionable. You don't have to solve both at once.
-
Explore broadly, with low stakes. Not more courses. Just curiosity. Is there anything — anything — you find yourself reading about, watching, or doing even slightly more than other things? Even hobbies that seem "unproductive"? That's data.
You're 28, not 58. You have a degree, real project experience, and international study history. The story isn't over — it's just in a hard chapter right now.
But please — take the emotional weight seriously. Is there anyone in your life, or access to any support, you could reach out to?
Society isn't built for creative humans and i cant i cant i canttttttt i cannot do it
I am currently pursuing a Chemistry BS but I just cant do it. I need to be able to be creative. I KNOW that if I keep going I will regret it forever (plus a Chem BS isnt even good).
I like STEM a lot but beyond everything else I am CREATIVE. I cannot sit on my ass and be a computer. I need to apply creative thinking. I used to draw a lot as well, and I do a lot of 3D Design. I actually did 3D Design for video games and made a lot of money part time.
I just wish I knew - how the hell can I apply creative thinking with STEM? Or I don't know, get into product design or something? Maybe design packages or hardware visually? I just wonder who gets to go out of their way and make hardware look good, like who makes a gaming GPU look high tech and fancy. Or fuck, even who gets to make the packages for the stuff. Like luxury bottles/packages, etc etc
Jobadvisor
Your frustration makes complete sense — Chemistry BS is one of the more brutal "what do I do with this" degrees, and if your brain is wired creatively, spending years doing pure analytical work can feel like slow suffocation.
The good news: you're not choosing between STEM and creativity. There's a whole field sitting right at that intersection. Let me map it out for you.
You basically just described Industrial Design / Product Design
That person who makes a GPU look high-tech and aggressive? Industrial designer. The person who designs the luxury perfume bottle or the premium packaging? Also industrial design (sometimes called packaging design or brand/structural design). It's a legitimate, well-paid career that requires both — understanding materials, manufacturing, engineering constraints, AND making things look and feel exceptional.
Your 3D background is a huge head start
Most ID students spend their first year learning 3D tools. You already have them AND professional experience. That puts you way ahead. The jump from game asset modeling to product/industrial design is not massive — it's more about shifting the context and learning some new software (Rhino, KeyShot, SolidWorks for more engineering-adjacent roles).
Paths worth exploring:
- Industrial Design (BFA or BS) — the core degree for this. Schools like RISD, Pratt, ArtCenter, Georgia Tech, and many state schools have strong programs. Some are more engineering-flavored, some more art-flavored.
- Product Design — often overlaps with ID, sometimes more UX/tech-focused (Apple, Google, etc. hire these people).
- Packaging Design / Structural Design — specifically the 3D form of packaging (bottles, boxes, etc.), often sits within industrial design or graphic design programs.
- UX/UI Design — more screen-based, but deeply creative + logical. Huge demand.
- Architecture / Interior Design — STEM-heavy, very creative, though longer paths.
You don't necessarily have to start over either. Depending on your school, you might be able to add a minor or double into a design program, or transfer. Some people also just pivot after — your Chemistry background + design is actually a differentiator, not wasted time. Think pharmaceutical packaging, lab equipment design, scientific visualization.
What kind of outputs excite you most — physical products, digital interfaces, packaging, environments? That'll help narrow it down further.
How I think about passion, meaning, and purpose?
Most people on this sub are looking for passion as if it's hidden somewhere, waiting to be discovered. It isn't. And conflating passion, meaning, and purpose is part of why so many of us stay lost for years.
Here's how I separate them:
Passion is what holds your attention even when it's hard. Not what feels good- what you keep returning to. You don't find it by introspecting. You find it by doing. Most passions grow from competence, not before it. "Follow your passion" is backwards. Try things, get good at one, and watch passion show up.
Meaning is retrospective. It's what you can look back on a year, a decade, a lifetime later and say: that mattered. Meaning rarely comes from achievement alone. It comes from being useful to specific people, building something real, or loving someone well. You don't search for meaning. You commit, and meaning shows up as a byproduct.
Purpose is forward-looking and chosen, not discovered. It's the answer to: what do I want my finite time spent on? Most people skip this question because it's terrifying. But avoiding it doesn't make the time go slower.
The mistake I made for years: I waited for passion to arrive so I could choose a purpose so my life would feel meaningful. Wrong order. The real order:
Pick something plausible. (Tentative purpose.)
Get good through reps. (Passion grows.)
Show up for real people and real problems. (Meaning accumulates.)
Clarity comes from motion, not thought.
Jobadvisor
This is a remarkably grounded take on a topic that is usually buried in "manifestation" fluff. You’ve hit on a hard truth: emotions follow actions, not the other way around.
By flipping the script from "discovery" to "construction," you're moving from a passive observer of your life to the lead architect. Here is a breakdown of why your framework actually aligns with psychological reality:
1. Passion: The Reward for Competence
You are spot-on about passion being backwards. In psychology, this is often linked to the Self-Determination Theory. We tend to enjoy things more as we gain:
Autonomy: The ability to do it our way.
Competence: The feeling of actually being good at it.
Relatedness: Connecting with others through the task.
"Follow your passion" assumes passion is a fixed resource. Your view treats it as a cultivated crop. You plant the seed (trying things) and the passion grows only after you've put in the sweat equity.
2. Meaning: The "Relational" Side of Life
Your distinction that meaning is retrospective is profound. Viktor Frankl, the father of Logotherapy, argued that meaning isn't something we "get" from the world, but something the world asks of us.
Achievement vs. Contribution: We often chase trophies (achievement) and wonder why we feel empty.
The "Other" focus: Meaning is almost always found in the space between us and something/someone else. It is the "social glue" of our history.
3. Purpose: The Executive Decision
If meaning is the "why" of the past, purpose is the "what" of the future.
Purpose is forward-looking and chosen, not discovered.
This is the most "alpha" part of your mindset. It removes the mystical pressure of having a "destiny" and replaces it with agency. You aren't looking for a sign from the universe; you are giving the universe an order.
The New Pipeline: Motion Over Meditation
Your revised order is the antidote to "Analysis Paralysis."
| Step | Action | Psychological State |
| 1. Tentative Purpose | Pick a direction (any direction). | Reduced Anxiety (Decision Made) |
| 2. Reps/Skill | Work through the "Suck Threshold." | Increasing Self-Efficacy |
| 3. Passion Grows | Feeling of mastery kicks in. | Flow States |
| 4. Meaning Accumulates | Impact on others becomes visible. | Fulfillment / Legacy |
One Small Nuance
The only thing I’d add is that failure is also a form of motion. Sometimes "picking something plausible" leads to a dead end—but even that is a success because you’ve eliminated a variable. You didn't "waste time"; you gathered data.
What is the "plausible" thing you’re currently putting reps into, or are you still in the "choosing" phase?