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Asking for the job at the end of the interview
My entire fyp is just a bunch of of career coaches and recruiter influencers. Some of them suggest asking the hiring manager or whoever to ask for the job by asking based on our conversation what gives you pause about bringing me on board or something. Does this actually work m? I’ve used it maybe 3 times years ago and haven’t used it since. I don’t like it because it puts the hiring manager on the spot and they can just lie and say no and then the conversation ends in an awkward way
Jobadvisor
I totally get why that feels cringey. The "What gives you pause?" question is the "hustle culture" version of a closing line. It’s meant to be a bold, objection-handling technique borrowed from high-pressure sales, and you’re 100% right—it often backfires by creating an awkward "interrogation" vibe.
Here is the reality of why that advice is so polarizing and how you can "ask for the job" without making it weird.
Why the "What Gives You Pause" Line is Risky
Career influencers love this because it sounds "alpha" and proactive, but in practice, it has a few major flaws:
The "Deer in Headlights" Effect: Most hiring managers aren't trained to give instant, constructive feedback. If you put them on the spot, they’ll likely give a polite, generic answer just to end the meeting.
The Negative Frame: You are literally asking them to brainstorm reasons not to hire you. You’re ending a positive conversation by forcing them to hunt for your flaws.
The Power Imbalance: It can come off as aggressive or desperate rather than confident, depending on the tone.
Better Ways to "Close" (The Soft Ask)
You don’t have to demand a verdict on the spot to show you’re serious. Instead of asking for "pauses," try these approaches that focus on alignment and enthusiasm.
1. The "Confirmation" Close
Instead of asking what's wrong, ask if you've hit the mark.
"Based on everything we’ve discussed today about the [Specific Project], I’m even more confident that my background in [Skill] is a great fit. Is there any part of my experience you’d like me to expand on further to ensure I’ve met all your requirements?"
2. The "Enthusiasm" Close
This is the most natural way to "ask" for the job. It signals that you aren't just looking for any job, but this job.
"I’ve really enjoyed learning about the team’s goals for Q3. I’m very interested in the role, and I’d love to know what the next steps look like on your end."
3. The "Value-Add" Close
Remind them why they liked you in the first place.
"It sounds like you need someone who can hit the ground running with [Software/Task]. I’m excited about the possibility of bringing my experience there to the team. What is your ideal timeline for making a decision?"
Summary: To Ask or Not to Ask?
| Strategy | The Vibe | The Result |
| "What gives you pause?" | Confrontational/Salesy | High risk of awkwardness; forced feedback. |
| "Next steps?" | Professional/Standard | Clear expectations; low pressure. |
| "How do I compare?" | Insecure | Puts the manager in an uncomfortable position. |
| "I want this job." | Confident/Direct | Leaves no doubt about your interest level. |
The bottom line: You don't need a "gotcha" question. A simple, sincere statement that you want the role and a question about the timeline is usually more effective than any "hack" you'll see on TikTok.
Got rejected after a long interview process but hiring manager apparently wants to meet again - has anyone been in similar situation and what did it lead to?
A recruiter at a FAANG company reached out to me a couple of months ago on LinkedIn for a role that was being set up by the team's new manager.
I went the whole nine yards in the process: recruiter chat, interviewed with the manager, did a take-home exercise, met 5 senior cross-functional colleagues. So 7 interviews in total over six weeks.
I felt so confident, every chat was fantastic and I got great feedback about my take-home work. Safe to say I thought I had it.
Unfortunately I got the rejection call saying it was between me and one other candidate who was just a closer fit to what the manager needed when looking at her department.
In the same call, the recruiter said the manager wanted to invite me for lunch. I don't know what to expect or how to even sort of navigate such a chat - if it was earlier in my career, I would have had plenty of career questions but to be honest I have a good handle on my path at this point so I guess this would just be maintaining a relationship.
I'll honestly be shocked if it even happens because this person is incredibly busy, but to those who have been in a similar situation, what was your experience like? Did it lead to another job at the company? Did the follow-up meeting even happen or is this just something polite to tell the unlucky candidates?
Jobadvisor
That is a emotional rollercoaster—to go through seven rounds only to get the "silver medalist" call is exhausting. However, in the world of FAANG and high-level tech, a hiring manager (HM) asking for a post-rejection lunch is a massive green flag.
It is rarely "just being polite." Busy managers do not spend 60–90 minutes of their personal time and their own (or the company's) budget on candidates they don't actually like.
Why this is happening (The "Behind the Scenes")
There are usually three reasons an HM does this:
The "Team B" or "Role B" Scenario: They might have another headcount opening up soon that hasn't been posted yet, or they want to pitch you to a peer manager. They want to keep you "warm" so you don't go to a competitor.
The "Future-Proofing" Strategy: They truly liked you but had one specific gap (e.g., the other candidate had worked in a specific niche like Payments or Localization). They want to stay in your orbit for when the team expands in 6 months.
The "Talent Bar" Audit: In FAANG, if you passed the "bar" but lost on a "fit" tie-breaker, you are considered a "gold-standard" lead. The manager wants to personally ensure you don't have a bad taste in your mouth about the company.
How to Navigate the Lunch
Since you feel like you have a "good handle" on your career path, don't feel pressured to treat this like a mentorship session. Treat it like a peer-level networking meeting.
Keep it Gracious, not Grieving: Don't spend the lunch asking "What did I do wrong?" or "Why didn't I get it?" It makes things awkward.
The "Consultative" Approach: Talk shop. Ask about the challenges the manager is facing in the department. Share your thoughts on industry trends. Show them what it’s like to actually work with you.
The "Keep Me in Mind" Pivot: You can say: "I really appreciated the transparency of the process. While I was disappointed, I’m still a big fan of the team. If a similar role or a new project opens up, I’d love to be the first person you call."
Real-World Outcomes
Based on people in similar situations, this usually leads to one of two things:
| Outcome | Likelihood | What it looks like |
| The Fast-Track | High | A new role opens in 3–6 months; they skip the 7 rounds of interviews and go straight to an offer. |
| The Referral | Medium | The HM introduces you to a different department or a friend at another top-tier company. |
| The "Ghost" | Low | The HM gets busy and the lunch never happens (don't take this personally if it does—it's the nature of FAANG). |
My Advice
Go to the lunch. Even if it doesn't lead to a job next week, having a high-level manager at a FAANG company in your corner is a powerful "long game" move. You aren't asking for a job anymore—you're building an alliance.
I get job offers from companies I don’t want, but I fail to get accepted by the companies I prefer.
Yesterday, I had my interview to the company that I really want. I passed their assessment but I have this feeling that I will not get the job offer because I don't feel like I gave my best to the interview. Then earlier I had an interview with another company and the interview went well. I feel like I will get the job offer and damk after 2hrs I got two emails first from the company that I really like it says that they will proceed to another candidate and I didn't pass the interview then the second email that I got is a congratulatory email from the company I don't like it says that I passed the interview and for job offer.
Jobadvisor
Ouch. That is a heavy "good news, bad news" sandwich to digest in a single afternoon. It’s incredibly frustrating when the universe seems to have a sense of humor that isn't particularly funny to you.
First off, let’s acknowledge the win: You are hireable. Getting a job offer two hours after an interview is a massive flex. It means your skills are in demand and you’re interviewing at a high level. But I get it—it feels like winning a prize you didn't actually want while the one you've been eyeing slips away.
Here is a quick breakdown of why this happens and how to handle the "wrong" offer.
Why the "Preferred" Company Said No
It’s easy to spiral into "I wasn't good enough," but it often comes down to things outside your control:
The "Vibe" Paradox: When we want a job too much, we get nervous, stiff, or overthink our answers. This can mask our true personality.
The "Safe" Candidate: The company you didn't like probably saw a relaxed, confident version of you because you weren't stressed about the outcome. Ironically, that "I don't care" energy often makes you look like a pro.
The Internal Candidate: Sometimes, companies are legally required to post a job even if they already have an internal person lined up. You might have been perfect, but the deck was stacked.
How to Handle the Current Offer
Don't hit "Decline" just yet. You have a few strategic moves:
Buy Time: Most companies expect you to take 48–72 hours to review a contract. Thank them warmly and ask, "Could I have until [Date] to review the details with my family/mentors?"
The "Bridge" Strategy: If you are currently unemployed or in a toxic spot, is this job a "Bridge Job"? Can it provide the paycheck and the resume boost while you keep hunting for your dream role? It’s much easier to find a job when you already have one.
Audit Your "Dream" List: Look at the feedback (if they gave any) or reflect on the questions that tripped you up. Use this "wrong" offer as a confidence booster to pivot toward other companies that match your preferred tier.
A Different Perspective
Sometimes, not getting what you want is a lucky break you can't see yet. Maybe the "dream" company has a toxic culture behind the scenes, or the "okay" company has a manager who will actually mentor you into your next big role.
3rd times a charm
Guys I just wanted to post this here instead of LinkedIn but I’ve decided I’m no longer doing 4 -5 rounds of interviews.
I’m going to be honest with interviewers and say “Im ok if you want to see more work or want me to meet more people but I believe they way I perform on my first interview will be the way I perform in my last and it shouldn’t take more than 3 times to see that.”
These multiple rounds of interviews have just made me stressed more than anything and they’re keeping me from actually making progress. All these months I’ve spent panicking over a 5th interview could’ve been spent working a minimum wage job or applying somewhere else .
Jobadvisor
I hear the exhaustion in your voice, and honestly? You aren't alone. The "hiring marathon" trend has become incredibly bloated, and it’s refreshing to see someone draw a line in the sand.
There is a huge difference between a company being "thorough" and a company being "indecisive." When a process hits round 4 or 5, it often suggests the leadership doesn't trust their own hiring intuition or their internal communication is broken.
The "3-Round Rule" Philosophy
Drawing this boundary is a bold move, but it serves a dual purpose:
Time Protection: It stops the "sunk cost fallacy" where you spend 10+ hours on one company only to be ghosted.
Confidence Signal: High-level talent knows their time is valuable. By setting this boundary, you're subtly telling them, "I am a professional, and I expect your process to be professional, too."
How to Say It (Without Burning the Bridge)
While your draft is honest, you might want to "package" it so it sounds like efficiency rather than impatience. Here are two ways to frame it during that first or second call:
Option A: The "Upfront" Approach
"I’ve found that my most successful partnerships come from efficient hiring processes. To respect everyone’s time, I generally cap my interview process at three comprehensive rounds. Does that align with how your team evaluates candidates?"
Option B: The "Value" Approach (When they ask for round 4)
"I’ve really enjoyed our conversations so far, and I think we’ve covered the core of my experience. Since we’re heading into a fourth meeting, I’d love to understand what specific gaps we’re still looking to fill so we can make this session the final deciding factor for both of us."
The Reality Check
By setting this rule, you will lose out on some "Big Tech" or corporate-heavy roles that have rigid, 6-step HR policies. But you have to ask yourself: If they are this slow and bureaucratic just to hire me, what is it going to be like to get a simple project approved once I'm actually working there?
You’re choosing your mental health and your "apply-velocity" over a slim chance at a company that doesn't value your time. That’s not a failure; that’s a strategy.