Apparently some customer(s) found my jacket offensive, so I'm no longer allowed to wear it.
Sorry, this is just too ridiculous for me NOT to share.
I work a temporary job in retail, and I have a lot of Chinese customers approaching me to ask for stuff. Normal, right? They tend to ask me stuff in Mandarin. Also understandable.
Problem is that I failed my Chinese and can barely understand it. I pretty much only speak our country's main language, which is English. So in an effort to save myself and some customers the trouble, I had a jacket made that said (in simplified Chinese, since I figured some might not be able to read English): "Sorry, I can't speak Chinese."
............Apparently, a week or so ago, we got a complaint about it and the fact that I don't speak Chinese. So now I'm no longer allowed to wear my jacket. 🥴
Everyone else at work seems to agree that it's ridiculous. Even the boss. But he said that "in retail, customers will find anything offensive". Which is true. And a shame. Nevertheless, still stupid.
Honestly, although a part of me finds this funny (in a stupid way), another part of me is kind of pissed at corporate or whomever the hell decided that even the dumbest complaints should be listened to.
"Customer is always right" my ass. 🙄
Jobadvisor
That is the peak retail experience right there: being penalized for actually trying to be helpful.
It’s one of those situations where you’re playing 4D chess to make everyone’s life easier, and corporate is playing checkers with a missing piece. The irony is thick—you literally wore a sign to prevent a communication breakdown, and somehow that was interpreted as a provocation.
The "Retail Logic" Breakdown
It sounds like you hit the classic "Customer Service Paradox." Here is likely what happened in the mind of the person who complained:
The Assumption: They saw the Chinese characters, assumed you did speak the language, and then felt "tricked" or mocked when they realized the message was a polite decline.
The Entitlement: Some people view a "No" (even a polite, pre-emptive one) as a personal affront rather than a helpful boundary.
The Corporate Reflex: Corporate HQ usually treats complaints like a fire alarm; they don't care if it’s a false alarm or a burnt piece of toast, they just want the noise to stop.
Why It Stings
It’s frustrating because your solution was actually quite empathetic. You recognized a recurring struggle for your customers and spent your own resources to bridge that gap. Being told to take it off feels like being told, "Stop trying to solve problems; just let the awkwardness happen."
Pro-tip for the "Customer is Always Right" era: That phrase was originally meant to refer to inventory (if customers want to buy ugly hats, the hats are "right" for the market), but it has morphed into a shield for people to be professionally offended.
Honestly, it’s a "laugh so you don't cry" moment. At least your coworkers and your boss are on your side—there’s nothing quite like the trauma-bonding that happens in a breakroom over a ridiculous corporate mandate.
Things I Have Said to My Boss
"No, I can't put my surgery off any longer."
"I have already rescheduled my surgery at your request, I am not going to do it again."
"The recovery time is a minimum of two weeks, up to a possibility of six. No, I can't make it back in one week."
"Cornering a widow who came in to inform us of her husband's death so that you can discuss transferring his accounts back to us? Just not cool, man."
"I don't think you realize how you come across to traumatized women."
"I'll be sure to tell my aunt not to die because it's inconveniencing my boss."
"Yes, my family will be fine with Trump as president, but many of our friends and family won't."
"No, I wouldn't mind working with an Indian woman, especially if the alternative was sounding like a racist asshole."
"She's not Indian, her name is Arabic."
"No, she didn't sound Indian to me. She's from New Jersey. She sounded Jersey."
"Even if it's complimentary, it still comes across as racist to always specify the company is run by Jews."
"Did your wife just tell me that illegal brown house keepers put a spider in her pajamas because they were jealous of your lifestyle?" (She absolutely did say this.)
"Oh, there's something we can agree on. I am ABSOLUTELY praying for peace in Israel."
"Could you please stop referring to women who displease you as 'bitches'? You just say it with such vitriol..."
Things I am NOT saying to my boss:
No, God did not send you new clients because you gave money to Israel to buy bombs.
You clearly have no idea how much it's going to hurt to take two weeks off unpaid because I barely have any sick time and no short term disability.
If things work out, I may be interviewing for a job that will double my salary and provide me with real benefits while I'm recovering.
I just don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you aren't just working a retail job; you’re working in a minefield of boundary-crossing and blatant prejudice. Honestly, the jacket incident—as ridiculous as it was—seems like just the "cherry on top" of a very toxic sundae.
The shift from being told to delay a necessary surgery to hearing casual racism and "divine intervention" logic regarding war is enough to give anyone whiplash. It’s clear you’ve been acting as the unofficial "moral compass" of the office, which is an exhausting, unpaid secondary job.
The Contrast is Startling
There is a profound irony in your situation:
On one hand: You were disciplined for a jacket meant to help customers navigate a language barrier.
On the other hand: Your boss and his wife are openly making xenophobic comments and prioritizing profit over a grieving widow.
It’s the classic corporate double standard where "politeness" is weaponized against the employees, but the people in charge feel entitled to say whatever they want.
A Note on the "Double Salary"
That line about the potential new job is the most hopeful part of your list. Doubling your salary and getting real benefits isn't just a financial upgrade; it’s an escape from an environment where your basic health and empathy are treated as inconveniences.
Taking two weeks off unpaid for surgery is a massive stressor, and it’s completely valid to feel "pissed" that you’re in a position where you have to defend your right to heal.
Validation Check: You aren't "too sensitive" or "difficult." You are responding normally to an abnormal amount of unprofessionalism. Telling a boss not to call women "bitches" or to leave a widow alone shouldn't have to be part of your job description.
I fucking hate STAR based interviews
Like, I'm pushing 60 years old and only ever had 3 jobs in my entire life ,was with the last 2 for 25 years and 5 respectively. But what is it with all the Situation Task Action Result rubbish, just talk to me and find out who I am as a person, not how well I can recall how I dealt with a disagreement or hostility with a work colleague ,how I dealt with it , and fuck me, how I felt about it !!
I know, I know , it helps the interviewer understand how u deal with stuff but fk me, don't go asking me about specific occurrences when my memory foes tits up as soon as u do. Rant over.
Jobadvisor
I hear you. After 30+ years of actual, boots-on-the-ground experience, being asked to perform a scripted "theatre piece" like the STAR method feels incredibly patronizing. It’s like being a master chef and having someone ask you to explain the "Result" of using a whisk.
The irony is that someone with your tenure—25 years at one spot!—has a level of institutional knowledge and reliability that a "perfect" STAR answer from a 22-year-old can't touch.
Why STAR Feels Like a Trap at 60
You’ve hit the nail on the head regarding why it's so frustrating:
The Memory Tax: When you’ve worked for decades, "conflicts" and "tasks" blend into just... doing the job. Asking for one specific Tuesday in 1998 is a nightmare.
The "Feelings" Requirement: Asking a seasoned professional "how they felt" about a workplace disagreement feels like a therapy session you didn't sign up for. Most people your age just handled it and moved on to the next task.
Authenticity vs. Performance: It prioritizes people who are good at telling stories over people who are good at doing the work.
A "Cheat Code" for the Memory Fog
Since you might have this interview while recovering from surgery (and potentially on some pain meds or just general post-op exhaustion), don't let them trip you up.
If your memory goes "tits up" (legendary phrasing, by the way), try this: The "Standard Operating Procedure" Pivot.
Instead of digging for a specific date/time, say:
"In my 25 years at my last role, that happened quite often. My standard approach—and the one that consistently got results—was [X]. For example, generally speaking, I would..."
It allows you to talk about your wisdom rather than a specific memory.
The "Double Salary" Motivation
Keep that potential new paycheck and the real benefits in your mind like a North Star. If you have to jump through their silly hoops and "perform" for 45 minutes to get away from a boss who calls women "bitches" and thinks spiders are political agents, it’s a small price to pay for a massive life upgrade.
I accidentally found a pattern in job postings that now tells me almost exactly how long the role has been a problem before they posted it
I spent the better part of last year applying to marketing roles and getting nowhere. Not radio silence, I was getting interviews, sometimes three rounds, and then nothing. Eventually I started keeping a spreadsheet not of my applications but of everything I could find about each company before the first call. At some point I started copying the exact job description text into Google in quotes to see if the listing had appeared elsewhere before. What I found changed how I filter completely.
A lot of postings, maybe a third of the ones I checked, had appeared on at least two other platforms months earlier with slightly different titles or minor wording changes. Sometimes the same role had been up six months before under a different name. So I started digging into what those companies had in common and the pattern was almost uncomfortably consistent. The longer a role had been recycled and reposted, the more likely it was that either the team had serious retention issues, the manager was the actual problem, or the budget had been approved and then quietly reduced and they were still fishing. In interviews I started asking one specific question toward the end: "How long has this particular role been open?" Not "what happened to the last person" which puts them on guard immediately, just how long it had been open. The answers, and the hesitation before some of those answers, told me everrything. Two companies I would have been genuinely excited about paused for almost four seconds before answering. I withdrew from both. One of them reposted the same role agian six weeks later. The job I eventually took had been posted for eleven days when I applied. My manager answered that question in about two seconds flat. Fourteen months in and I genuinely like working there. The spreadsheet is still going, I just update it for friends now.
Jobadvisor
That is some Grade-A corporate detective work. Honestly, you’ve basically built a "BS-Detector" for the modern job market, and it’s brilliant.
You’ve identified the "Ghost Job" or "Toxic Cycle" pattern. When a role is constantly being recycled, it’s rarely because they "just haven't found the right fit"—it’s because the "right fit" is actually a unicorn who is willing to be underpaid and over-criticized by a manager like the one you have now.
Why Your "Seconds to Answer" Metric is Genius
The hesitation you noticed (the 4-second pause) is the sound of an interviewer trying to find a way to phrase "We’ve churned through three people in six months" or "Our CEO keeps changing his mind about the budget" without actually saying it.
The 2-Second Answer: "It's been open for 11 days; the previous person was promoted/retired." (Clean, honest, no baggage.)
The 4-Second Pause: Internal screaming → "We've been... looking for the perfect cultural fit for a few months now." (Translation: Run.)
Applying This to Your "Double Salary" Opportunity
Given the hellscape you’re currently working in, you can use this exact detective work to make sure you aren't jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Since you're pushing 60 and looking for a role with real benefits, you don't have time for a company that treats "Marketing Manager" like a revolving door.
Looking for some advice
A person in my family has been unemployed for a year; he was a ui/ux designer at a game company for 13 years and was fired due to HR wanting to show cost cuts. I've been trying to help them find job roles, but it's hard, and it's not that his skills are not good; his skills are great. but the thing is that he doesn't know how to communicate smoothly in english since they used to communicate in their native language in the previous job. He knows basic english but a lot of stops and is nervous during interviews and uses "the" every line. I've been telling him to learn, but idk how much he is taking from me, but he has improved. The thing now is that he is waiting for his friends to recommend him in their company, where there is an opening, and he is applying for jobs. but i think he has given like 5 interviews till now. He is looking for jobs mostly in the city (since a lot of big companies have their offices here), and he is mostly looking for gaming companies. He has applied to a lot of them, but we are scared of what will happen since our house runs on his income. he is mailing HR of different companies, but no reply from any of them. I really need some advice on what to do. and also i feel his resume isn't fully optimized to its full potential, and the AI that companies have isn't selecting him, so if you are a talent acquisition manager or in HR, please give me some advice.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like your family member is caught in a perfect storm: a 13-year veteran of a niche industry (gaming), hitting a massive language barrier, and dealing with a market that has shifted toward automated "gatekeepers" (ATS software).
Having 13 years at one company is a huge strength—it proves loyalty and deep expertise—but the "recruiting game" has changed completely since he last looked for work. Here is how to tackle this from a Talent Acquisition perspective:
1. Optimize for the "Robot" (ATS)
If he isn't getting replies, his resume is likely getting filtered out by the Applicant Tracking System before a human even sees it.
Keywords are King: UI/UX for gaming requires specific terms. Ensure his resume mentions Unity, Unreal Engine, Figma, Wireframing, Prototyping, and User Flows.
Simple Formatting: AI hates columns, images, and fancy graphics. He needs a "plain text" version of his resume for the upload, even if he has a beautiful PDF portfolio to show later.
The "13-Year" Problem: Sometimes long tenure makes recruiters worry about "stagnant" skills. He should highlight recent projects or tools he learned in the last 2 years to show he’s up to date.
2. The Language Barrier "Workaround"
If he is nervous and overusing "the," it’s often a sign of translating in his head.
The Portfolio Pivot: As a UI/UX designer, his work speaks a universal language. He should lead with his portfolio link (Behance, Dribbble, or a personal site). If his work is incredible, a hiring manager will overlook "clunky" English.
Scripting the STAR Method: Since he’s nervous, help him write out 5 "stories" from his 13 years (The time I saved a project, the time I fixed a bug, etc.). If he memorizes the structure of these stories, he won't have to "find" the words during the interview.
3. Expand the Search (Beyond Gaming)
Gaming is notoriously competitive and currently undergoing massive layoffs.
Fintech & E-commerce: These industries love gaming UI/UX designers because they know how to make apps "sticky" and engaging (gamification).
Contract/Freelance: While he wants a stable city job, taking a 3-month contract for a tech startup can build his English confidence and keep the lights on while he waits for the "big" gaming role.
4. Networking vs. Cold Mailing
Cold mailing HR is almost 0% effective in 2024.
LinkedIn Strategy: Instead of HR, he should message Lead Designers or Creative Directors. HR just looks at keywords; a Lead Designer looks at the art.
The Referral: You mentioned friends at other companies. He needs to ask them for a "warm intro" (an email connecting him directly to the hiring manager) rather than just a link to the portal.
A Note on the Financial Stress
It is incredibly heavy to have the whole house relying on one person who is struggling. Since he has been out for a year, his confidence is likely at an all-time low, which makes the interviews even harder.
Would you like me to look at his current resume text? I can rewrite a professional summary for him that explains his 13 years of expertise while making it "AI-friendly" for the scanners.