The job market is a disaster. Every career that isn't related to healthcare is facing lay-offs en masse, they're all becoming physically and/or mentally tortorous to work in, and many of them don't even pay enough to comfortably live on. The price of literally everything is too high. Housing, groceries, vehicle-related costs, hobby needs, luxury items, whatever.
So, what exactly am I supposed to do here? I'm in my early twenties and literally every career choice feels like a mistake. Being happy and being able to afford to live seem to be mutually exclusive. My life feels paralyzed because trying anything is pointless, it's all bad.
Did I just get unlucky, being born into a late-stage capitalist hellscape where ensuring that the line keeps going up is more important than anything actually human? What the hell am I supposed to do here? What is my entire generation supposed to do? I am far from the only person at and around my age to feel this way.
Jobadvisor
I hear the exhaustion and the genuine grief in your voice. It is not "just in your head"—you are describing a systemic reality where the traditional "social contract" (work hard, get a degree, buy a home, retire) has essentially defaulted.
Being in your early twenties right now feels like being told to join a game of Monopoly where all the properties were bought up thirty turns ago and the bank is charging you just to stand on the board.
When the "macro" (the world, the economy, the future) feels broken, the only way to break paralysis is to aggressively shrink your world down to the "micro." Here is a mindset adjustment to help you navigate this "hellscape" without losing your mind.
1. Stop Looking for a "Career" and Start Looking for a "Vessel"
The idea of a "dream career" is a relic of a more stable economy. In a volatile market, looking for the "perfect" career path creates paralysis because every path looks like a trap.
The Adjustment: Shift your perspective. Your job is not your identity; it is a vessel that carries you to your 5:00 PM life.
The Action: Look for "Good Enough" jobs. A job that is 40% boring but 0% "mentally torturous" and pays for your room and board is a win. If the world is on fire, don't look for a career to define you—look for the one that exhausts you the least so you have energy left for your actual life.
2. Radical Decoupling: Identity vs. Productivity
Late-stage capitalism tries to convince you that your "Human Value = Economic Output." When the economy fails, you feel like a failure.
The Adjustment: You have to radically decouple your self-worth from your bank account. If you cannot afford "luxury items" or a house right now, that is a failure of the system, not a failure of your character.
The Action: Cultivate "Low-Cost Resistance." Learn skills that the market can't monetize or take from you: gardening, repairing your own clothes, hosting potlucks instead of going to expensive bars, or creating art that you never intend to sell. This builds a sense of agency that doesn't depend on "the line going up."
3. The "Doomscrolling" Tax
When you are paralyzed, you spend more time consuming proof that the world is ending. This creates a feedback loop that reinforces the paralysis.
The Adjustment: You cannot solve the housing crisis or the job market through observation. Information beyond a certain point becomes poison.
The Action: Put yourself on an information diet. Limit your intake of economic news to 15 minutes a day. Use the saved energy to focus on Mutual Aid. Your generation is finding strength in community—finding people to split rent with, sharing tools, and supporting local networks. Connection is the only known antidote to the "capitalist isolation" you’re feeling.
4. Accept the "Unprecedented" Nature of Your Path
You aren't "unlucky" in a vacuum; you are living through a historical pivot point. Comparing your milestones to those of someone born in 1960 is a form of self-harm.
The Adjustment: Lower the bar for "success" until it is something you can actually touch.
The Action: Focus on The Next Six Months. Don't try to solve the next forty years. What is one small move—a certification, moving to a cheaper city, or even just finding a job that is "fine for now"—that makes the next six months 10% more tolerable?
You Are Not Alone
The "paralysis" you feel is a logical response to an illogical world. But paralysis is what the system wants—it makes you easier to manage. Choosing to find small pockets of joy, choosing to survive, and choosing to care about your community despite the "hellscape" is actually a form of quiet rebellion.
38yo, still struggling to get a job in IT/CS since transitioning 4 years ago
Spent crazy amount of $, $ that is not mine (spouse's) to get a MS. Left us poorer for a long time coming. Was cocky that I could land something because I did land a well paid position after graduation but because it was not SWE but tech adjacent, I chickened out and felt emboldened that I could 'do better'. I regret it to this day. Nothing lands since. I probably did thousands of applications, nothing. I am now back in my home country alone (sans spouse) because the only 'decent' swe position I landed is here BUT I was told on my first day that I didn't pass the client interview (it's a consulting company) and the supervisor hinted several times about maybe I should look elsewhere. The outlook is uncertain because I have to go through client interviews again while they have a not good impression of me already. I am competing with 20-something-year old guys who are faring much better than me technically, and I can see the difference in treatment. People expect me to know things already but I am neither experienced nor young.
I basically spent years of effort and money transitioning to IT late and I feel so ashamed. Like, if only I did this 10 years earlier or not transitioning at all, I would still have a steady job. I really tried everything prepping for different techs.... I feel like a master of none... this field is too saturated.
I can barely function as a normal person. I couldn't sleep weeks on end. We have to put every other life plans on hold because of financial strain and my mental stress. What else can I do? I just want a job (in this field) where I can stop the endless unemployment loop.
Jobadvisor
I hear the weight of this, and I want to start by acknowledging how incredibly exhausting it is to carry both financial guilt and professional rejection simultaneously. You are in the middle of a "perfect storm": a tough market, a pivot that didn't go as planned, and the internal pressure of feeling like you owe a debt to your spouse.
It is understandable that you feel "paralyzed," but your situation—while difficult—is not a dead end. We need to move you from "panic mode" to "survival and stabilization mode."
1. Radical Acceptance and Damage Control
The "cocky" decision you made in the past is gone. You cannot change it, and punishing yourself for it daily is draining the mental energy you need to solve the current problem.
Forgive the 34-year-old you: You made a decision based on the information and confidence you had then.
Stop the "Master of None" Cycle: The tech field is too wide. If you try to learn everything to stay "relevant," you will know nothing deeply enough to pass a senior-level interview.
Acknowledge the Age Dynamic: Yes, 20-year-olds might have more raw coding speed, but you have professional maturity. Companies hire "older" juniors because they expect them to show up on time, communicate well, and understand business logic. Play to those strengths.
2. Navigating the Current Role (The "Consulting" Situation)
You are currently employed, even if it feels precarious. Your goal right now is not to be the "best" coder, but to be the most reliable asset.
The Client Interview Issue: Many consulting firms hire people and then struggle to "place" them. If you failed a client interview, it might be a mismatch of skills, not just your ability.
Action: Ask your supervisor for the specific feedback from that client. Was it technical? Communication? Cultural? Use that data to prep for the next one.
The "Shadow" Strategy: While you are on the "bench" (waiting for a client), pick one stack the company uses heavily and become an expert in its documentation. Don't just code; learn how the business uses that tech.
3. Shifting the Job Search Strategy
If thousands of applications aren't working, the "apply and pray" method is broken for you. You need to pivot.
Look for "Tech-Plus" Roles: Since you have a Master’s and life experience, look for roles where IT meets another industry. Think: Health Tech, FinTech, or GovTech. These sectors value domain knowledge and stability over "LeetCode" speed.
Lower the Barrier: If SWE isn't biting, look at QA Automation, Site Reliability Engineering (SRE), or Technical Support Engineering. These are often "easier" to land, pay well, and get you the "years of experience" on your resume that stop the unemployment loop.
The "Home Country" Advantage: Since you are back home, look for local mid-sized firms that aren't "glamorous" but are stable. They are often less age-biased than high-growth startups.
4. Addressing the Mental Toll
You mentioned you can barely function. You cannot pass an interview if you are in a state of fight-or-flight; recruiters and interviewers can sense the desperation, and it unfortunately scares them off.
The "Non-Negotiable" Sleep: If you haven't slept in weeks, your cognitive function is likely at 50%. Please see a doctor or a clinic in your home country. This is a medical issue now, not just a stress issue.
Talk to your Spouse: If the shame is keeping you from being honest with them about your daily struggle, it will only grow. Transparency often reduces the weight of the "debt" you feel you owe.
A Path Forward
You don't need to fix your whole life today. You just need to stop the bleeding.
