Eight years ago, I sat on my couch with a pint of ice cream, staring at yet another rejection email. I was trying to re-enter the workforce after a career break, pivot to a new field, and find a job that worked with my life as a parent.
I felt completely lost.
That low moment became my turning point. Instead of randomly sending out applications and hoping something would stick, I drew on my 15+ years of HR experience to create a strategic plan. The result? Multiple job offers and a role that actually fits my priorities as a mom.
Since then, I've worked with dozens of women through focus groups, workshops, and one-on-one coaching. I've seen the same patterns emerge again and again. Here are the three biggest mistakes women make when returning to work—and exactly how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Letting Your Network Go Cold
When you're deep in the trenches of caregiving, professional networking feels like a luxury you can't afford. Between diaper changes, school pickups, and everything in between, reaching out to former colleagues falls to the bottom of an already impossible to-do list.
Before you know it, years have passed. Those relationships have gone cold. And now the thought of reaching out feels awkward and uncomfortable.
Here's the good news: it's never too late to reconnect. And you don't need to wait until you're actively job searching.
Try these low-effort ways to keep relationships warm:
- Schedule coffee with a former coworker once or twice a year
- Send a quick "thinking of you" text or email to a past boss every few months
- Engage with former clients and colleagues on LinkedIn by commenting on or sharing their posts
Even small gestures keep you on people's radar. When you're ready to return to work, these warm connections will be infinitely more valuable than cold outreach to strangers.
Mistake #2: Applying to Everything Without a Clear Direction
There's a persistent myth that career returners should "take whatever they can get" just to get back in the door.
This approach is not only demoralizing—it's ineffective.
Applying to dozens of random jobs wastes your time and energy. Worse, it makes it nearly impossible to craft a compelling narrative about why you're the right fit.
The better approach? Get crystal clear on what you actually want.
Clarity transforms your job search. It allows you to target specific industries, companies, and roles. It ensures your résumé, LinkedIn profile, and elevator pitch all tell the same cohesive story. And it dramatically increases your chances of landing a role that actually works for your life.
Start by asking yourself:
- What does a fulfilling life look like for me right now, and what do I need from my next role to support it?
- What did I love and hate about my previous positions (paid or unpaid)?
- Which of my skills and talents do I actually want to use moving forward?
There are no right or wrong answers here—only what's right for you and your family.
Mistake #3: Apologizing for Your Career Break
I once interviewed two candidates who had taken career breaks. One was a woman, the other a man.
The woman apologized for her résumé gap three times during our conversation. After the third apology, I stopped her and said there was no need to apologize.
Her response? "I'm sorry."
The man? He confidently stated that after 20 years in his field, he'd decided to take a few years off to golf and fish. Now he was ready to return to work. No apology. No over-explanation. Just a simple, confident statement of fact.
Your career break is part of your story—not something to apologize for.
When you apologize or over-explain, you signal to employers that you see your gap as a weakness. When you own your narrative with confidence, you communicate that your break was a deliberate choice that you stand behind.
Keep it simple:
- State the facts briefly and matter-of-factly
- Redirect the conversation to why you're the best candidate for the role
- Remember that your career break doesn't erase your experience—it adds to it
Returning to work after a career break is challenging, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming. By maintaining your network, getting clear on your direction, and owning your story with confidence, you'll set yourself apart from other candidates and find a role that truly works for your life.
Your experience matters. Your skills are valuable. And you deserve a job that recognizes both.