I feel so useless
I am a 23 year old male and I already feel like my life is over. When I graduated High-school I wasn't sure what I wanted to do so I entered the workforce. In the hopes that I would either eventually find a job that I would like or eventually come to a decision on my career.
But that never happened I've been working in retail for the past 4 years now and I absolutely hate it. But since I've been doing retail for so long all my skills and experience are tied to retail. And the problem is all the other jobs either pay exactly the same or less. So I feel like I can't really leave.
I did really well in High-school and I got consistent high grades. But college just never really interested me since none of the degrees looked interesting to me.
I just feel trapped and so useless. I feel like I should be on step 12 and instead I'm stuck on step 2. I just feel so useless and that I am destined for working in retail for the rest of my life and die alone.
If anybody could please give me any advice that would be appreciated.
Jobadvisor
I hear how heavy this feels. It’s incredibly draining to spend 40 hours a week in an environment you hate, especially when you feel like you're falling behind some invisible timeline.
First, let’s push back on one thing: You are 23. In the grand scheme of a 40-year career, you aren't on "Step 2 while others are on Step 12." You are in the "Exploration and Foundation" phase. The fact that you did well in high school proves you have the cognitive ability to handle complex work; you just haven't found the right "container" for that intelligence yet.
Here is a breakdown of how to move from feeling trapped to finding a path.
1. Reframe Your "Retail Skills"
You feel your skills are tied to retail, but "Retail" isn't a skill—it's a setting. You have Transferable Skills that other industries are desperate for. High-performing retail workers are usually excellent at:
Conflict Resolution: Dealing with difficult people without losing your cool.
Operational Efficiency: Managing inventory, logistics, and deadlines.
Sales & Persuasion: Understanding what people need and providing a solution.
The Pivot: Look into SDR (Sales Development Representative) roles in tech or Account Management. These roles value retail experience, often pay much better, and offer a clear "corporate" ladder.
2. Explore the "Middle Skills" Gap
Since college degrees didn't interest you, look at careers that require Certifications or Trade Skills rather than a 4-year academic commitment. These often pay significantly more than retail and offer more autonomy.
| Path | Why it fits a high-achiever | Entry Barrier |
| IT/Cybersecurity | Problem-solving and logic-based. | CompTIA A+ or Security+ certs (can be done in months). |
| Apprenticeships | High pay, active work (Electrician, HVAC, Elevator Tech). | Paid on-the-job training. |
| Project Coordination | Uses your organizational skills to run big projects. | CAPM Certification. |
| Digital Marketing | Creative and data-driven. | Google/HubSpot certifications (Free). |
3. The "Anti-Vision" Exercise
Since you don't know what you want to do, focus on what you don't want.
Write down the 3 things you hate most about retail (e.g., "Standing all day," "Rude customers," "No mental challenge").
Look for jobs that are the exact opposite of those three things.
Even if the pay is a "lateral move" (the same as now), a lateral move into a new industry is a win because it raises your ceiling. Retail has a low ceiling; industries like Logistics, Tech, or Construction have very high ceilings.
4. Address the "Useless" Feeling
The feeling of being "useless" often comes from a lack of agency. You feel like life is happening to you.
Small Wins: Spend 30 minutes tonight researching one career from the table above.
Update the Resume: Don't write it as a "Retail Clerk." Write it as a "Customer Solutions Specialist."
Talk to People: Reach out to one person you know who has a job that seems "okay" and ask them how they got there.
You aren't destined to die in a breakroom. You are just currently overqualified for your daily tasks, which leads to burnout and a loss of self-worth.
New grad, first office job feels like no growth… is this normal?
So I graduated last year and joined a company (during university I mostly did freelance work).
I actually had the option to keep freelancing, but I wanted to give myself a chance to experience a real 9–5 job and learn how office life works.
This is my first real office job, and I’m working in an environment where most people speak a language that’s not English and also not my mother tongue. The job is fine. My supervisors are nice and understanding since my language skills are limited.
The best part is my manager trusts me a lot and gives me freedom over my work. The company is also nice in the sense that they let me try different sides of digital marketing (like ads, etc.), which I’ve never done before, and I truly appreciate it.
I know that’s a blessing for some people, but honestly it also makes me feel lost sometimes because this company has never had my role/division before, so there’s no “historical data” or clear system to follow. I also don’t really get guidance on how to do things properly because there aren’t any real marketing professionals here, so I end up confused a lot.
I’m fine with learning by myself and doing trial and error, but sometimes what YouTube teaches doesn’t apply to my niche since it’s a very targeted B2B industry.
Another issue is management. With my previous manager, we had weekly meetings and 1-on-1 sessions to track progress and stay aligned. Now it’s like… nothing. No check-ins, no direction, no feedback. Everything feels chaotic and disconnected.
Is this just how office jobs usually are?
Am I being ungrateful because I’m lucky to have a job that isn’t super busy?
Or are there actually better opportunities out there and I should start looking?
I’m honestly feeling pretty lost right now.
TL;DR: New grad in my first office job. The company is nice and gives me freedom + chances to try different areas of digital marketing, but there’s basically no guidance, no clear system, and no marketing professionals to learn from. Management also feels messy with no check-ins or feedback. Is this normal office life, or should I start looking for a better job?
Jobadvisor
What you are experiencing is a very specific type of workplace dynamic: The "Solo Specialist" in an unstructured environment.
To answer your main question: No, this isn't how all office jobs are, but it is very common in small-to-medium businesses or companies that are trying to "modernize" without knowing how.
You aren't being ungrateful. It’s perfectly valid to feel "lost" when you are expected to build a department from scratch as a new grad without a mentor. Here is a breakdown of why this is happening and how to handle it.
1. The "Blessing" is also the "Curse"
You have complete freedom and trust, which is rare. However, for a new grad, freedom without feedback is just isolation.
The Risk: Without a senior marketing professional to tell you "that’s a bad idea" or "this is a waste of budget," you might spend a year developing "bad habits" or learning things the hard way that a mentor could have taught you in five minutes.
The Reality: You aren't just doing digital marketing; you are acting as a Marketing Manager/Strategist. That is a much higher-level role than what you’re likely being paid for.
2. Is this "Normal"?
Office jobs generally fall into two categories:
The Structured Corporate Machine: Clear SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures), layers of management, specific KPIs, and a "way things are done." (Can feel boring/stifling).
The "Wild West" (Your Job): No systems, "figure it out yourself," high autonomy, but zero mentorship. (Can feel chaotic/lonely).
Your current situation is "normal" for a company that doesn't understand marketing. They hired you to be the "magic button" for growth, but they don't know how to guide you because they don't understand your craft.
3. How to Regain Control
Before you quit, try to "manage up" to see if the environment can be fixed. Since your manager trusts you, use that leverage:
Re-institute the 1-on-1s: Don't wait for your manager to invite you. Send a calendar invite: "I want to make sure my work is aligning with the company's Q3 goals. Can we do a 15-minute sync every Tuesday?"
Seek External Mentorship: Since there are no marketing pros at your office, find them elsewhere. Join marketing Slack communities, LinkedIn groups, or find a mentor through platforms like ADPList.
1 Build the "System" Yourself: Since there is no "historical data," you are the one creating it. Document every experiment, even the failures. This becomes your legacy at the company (and a great bullet point for your next resume).
4. When to Start Looking
You should consider looking for a new role if:
You feel your skills are plateauing because you have no one to learn from.
The language barrier is preventing you from forming the social bonds that make office life tolerable.
The lack of direction starts to feel like "quiet quitting" from management's side.
The Golden Rule for your first job: You should either be earning or learning. If you are doing neither, it is time to go. Currently, you are learning "how to survive in chaos," which is a skill, but it might not be the marketing skill you want.
Well I dropped out...now what?
So I ended up dropping out of college prior to the new semester starting in my community college. I realized that the degree I want to get, biomed, would be utterly useless unless I made it into med-school in the future, and I'm not the brightest person. I also have mental health issues relating to psychosis stuff that acts up if I'm too stressed. Generally, I don't think I could spend my 20s doing education without ending up back in treatment and I don't see a bachelors degree paying off for me financially as I don't qualify for FAFSA.
My plan at the moment was just to sort of float around in jobs until I am able to get a drivers license and maybe a better job, along with eventually moving out of my parents house as there is going to be a baby in the house come March. I've currently got a job at a fast food chain working graveyard.
I'm 20, so I've got plenty of time to figure things out. However, I wonder if anyone has recommendations on how to build a career without a degree. Growing up both my parents went back to finish college and I was always told how many careers I could get with a degree (not so true now). So, I'm curious what others who have had similar paths to mine decided to do?
(Just FYI: My area has zero public transportation, the fast food job is supposed to be temporary until I can afford to buy a motorcycle and get my license)
Jobadvisor
Dropping out of a path that was guaranteed to break your mental health isn't "quitting"—it’s strategic redirection. If high stress triggers your psychosis, then a high-pressure medical track would have been a dangerous environment for you. You made a choice that prioritizes your stability, which is the foundation for any future career.
Since you are 20, don't qualify for FAFSA, and need a low-stress, sustainable path, here is how you can build a life without the "traditional" degree route.
1. The "Low-Stress/High-Stability" Career Paths
Since you mentioned being "not the brightest" (your words, though your writing suggests otherwise) and needing to manage stress levels, look for roles that are process-oriented rather than deadline-driven.
Bookkeeping: If you’re good with numbers and organization, you can get a QuickBooks certification online. It’s quiet, predictable, and often remote-capable.
Postal Service (USPS/Courier): Once you get that license, look into the Post Office. It’s a government job with great benefits, a pension, and very clear "check-in/check-out" boundaries.
Medical Billing/Coding: It stays in the "medical" world you liked, but it’s administrative. You follow a codebook and work at a computer. It requires a certification (usually 6–12 months) rather than a degree.
Manufacturing/Assembly: High-precision factory work (especially in climate-controlled facilities) can be very "zen." You show up, do your task, and leave work at the door.
2. Solving the Transport Crisis
The motorcycle is a good temporary fix for a lack of public transit, but it makes you vulnerable to weather and safety risks.
The "License First" Strategy: Treat getting your driver's license as your "Full-Time Job" alongside the graveyard shift. In many areas, having a valid license is a prerequisite for even the most basic entry-level jobs (like Warehouse Associate or Security Guard).
Security Guard Roles: This is often a great "low-stress" transition. Many graveyard security shifts (especially at warehouses or construction sites) involve sitting in a booth or doing rounds. It’s quiet, gives you time to think or study, and pays better than fast food.
3. The "Baby in the House" Timeline
With a baby arriving in March, your stress levels at home are likely to rise. You need an "escape hatch."
Roommate Strategy: Don’t try to get a 1-bedroom apartment alone on graveyard fast-food wages. Look for "rooms for rent" near industrial parks or hospital clusters. This gets you out of the house and closer to potential jobs.
The Library is Your Office: If the house gets too loud or stressful, make the local library your base for researching certifications or looking for work.
4. Certification over Education
Since you don't want to spend your 20s in a classroom, look for Micro-Credentials.
Google Career Certificates: (Data Analytics, IT Support, Project Management). These are hosted on Coursera, cost about $40/month, and take 3–6 months. They are recognized by big employers and aren't as stressful as a college semester.
Commercial Driver’s License (CDL): If you can handle being on the road, some companies will pay for your training. It’s a guaranteed $50k+ salary, though it can be stressful depending on the route.
A Note on "Intelligence"
You mentioned you aren't "the brightest." Intelligence isn't just "doing Biomed." There is Logistical Intelligence (getting things from A to B), Spatial Intelligence (building/fixing things), and Systematic Intelligence (organizing data). Find the one that doesn't make your head spin, and lean into it.
Accused of cheating in an interview
My sister's friend got me a job interview at my sister's old law firm. I spent an entire day just studying everything i could for the interview. I wanted to be so prepared for anything they could throw at me.
I had an answer and example to everything. The interviewer even said i understood something that no one else does .
Anyways I have worked in law firms before so I would have reasonably known how to answer.
My sister's friend told my sister that the interviewer believes I was obviously looking at a screen during my interview. Which is hilarious because I'm actually too broke to buy a laptop because i dont have a job.
I did my interview on my ipad.
Jobadvisor
That is incredibly frustrating. It’s a classic case of "the curse of competence"—you prepared so well that your performance seemed "too good to be true" to someone who doesn't know your work ethic.
The irony of being accused of looking at a screen when you were using a tablet (which is a screen) is annoying, but the real issue here is the interviewer's perception of your eye contact and "rehearsed" delivery.
Here is how you can handle this situation to protect your reputation and potentially save the opportunity.
1. Address the "iPad" Logistics
When using an iPad for a video call, the camera is often on the side (in landscape mode) or in a position that makes it look like you are looking away even when you are looking at the person on the screen.
The Reality: If you were looking at the interviewer's face on the iPad, your eyes likely appeared to be averted from the camera lens, creating the illusion that you were reading notes.
2. Leverage the Connection
Since your sister’s friend is the one who relayed the message, you have a bridge to clear the air. Don't be defensive; be confused and helpful.
What you (or your sister) could say to the friend:
"I heard the interviewer felt I was reading from a screen! That’s actually really funny to me because I don't even own a laptop right now. I was using my iPad, and I spent the whole day before studying because I wanted to do a great job for [Firm Name]. I think because the iPad camera is off-center, it might have looked like my eyes were wandering while I was thinking or looking at the interviewer."
3. Offer a "Redo" or a Deep Dive
If you still want the job, you can turn this into a strength. You can reach out to the interviewer (or have the friend pass this along) to prove your knowledge isn't scripted.
The Strategy: Offer to do a quick follow-up call or an in-person meeting.
The Logic: "I’d love to dive deeper into [the complex topic they said you understood well]. Since I was on a mobile device last time, I’d love to chat in person so there’s no technical distraction."
4. Reframe Your Preparation
In the future, if you are that prepared, it helps to "show your work" during the interview.
Verbally acknowledge your prep: "I was actually looking into your firm's recent work on X, and it reminded me of a case I handled at my last firm..."
Break the 'perfect' flow: Sometimes, pausing to say, "That’s a great question, let me think about the best example for that," makes your (already prepared) answer feel more spontaneous and authentic.
Is this firm a good fit?
Before you fight too hard for this, consider the culture. If an interviewer’s first instinct is to assume a candidate is cheating—rather than assuming the candidate is highly intelligent and well-prepared—it might speak to a cynical or distrustful management style.