The Complex Nature of Our Emotions
We often think of emotions in simple terms: happy or sad, calm or stressed, content or frustrated. But the reality is far more nuanced. Our emotional lives are rich tapestries where multiple feelings can coexist simultaneously, each in different measures and combinations. Think about those moments when you've felt overwhelmingly happy yet found tears streaming down your face—emotions we typically associate with sadness.
The connection between our thoughts and feelings is more intricate than we realize. Sometimes our thinking happens at lightning speed, triggering emotions before we're even conscious of the original thought. These feelings then spark more thoughts that mirror or amplify our emotional state. Before we know it, we've entered a sustained emotional state that colors how we view everything around us.
Here's something important to remember: emotions aren't inherently "positive" or "negative"—some simply feel more comfortable than others. When we stop labeling our feelings as good or bad and instead accept them as part of our human experience, we give ourselves permission to understand them better, work through them more effectively, and perhaps even learn something valuable in the process.
Why Christmas Opens the Emotional Floodgates
Even when we're genuinely happy during the holidays, we often find ourselves feeling more intensely emotional. There's a reason for this: the season naturally creates space for emotional regulation and release. You know that lighter, clearer feeling after a good cry? That's emotional processing at work.
Our fast-paced modern lives rarely give us opportunities to truly process what we're experiencing. We're expected to maintain constant productivity, move on quickly from setbacks, and just "get on with it." The festive period disrupts this relentless pace, giving us permission to slow down.
Becoming emotional during Christmas can actually provide relief from heavy feelings we've been carrying. It helps us check in with ourselves, understand what we need, and most importantly, it moves us forward. Processing emotions in healthy ways builds resilience and reduces the risk of anxiety and depression.
Three Ways Christmas Stirs Our Emotions
1. The Power of Reflection
Christmas and the year's end naturally encourage us to pause and look back. Our usual routines get disrupted, giving us rare breathing room to contemplate our actions, behaviors, significant events, and how we want to approach the coming year. This reflection goes deeper than simple thinking—it makes us consider the meaning of our lives and the people who share them with us.
This reflective state can feel intensely emotional, even when we're thinking about so-called "positive" things. Feeling grateful for what we have can trigger a cascade of emotions. Research shows that gratitude releases dopamine and serotonin in our brains, reduces stress, improves sleep quality, lowers blood pressure, boosts immunity, and enhances self-esteem. Gratitude fundamentally shifts our focus away from what's lacking toward what's present.
2. The Sweet Ache of Nostalgia
Christmas inevitably summons memories from our past and wraps us in nostalgia. This isn't just our brain filing through old memories—it's about re-experiencing the emotions attached to meaningful moments. Countless triggers surround us during the holidays: the scent of pine needles, familiar carols, twinkling lights, or cherished traditions. That's why Christmas can feel so emotionally charged—we're transported back to the wonder of childhood mornings, the excitement of anticipation, the magic of belief, and those rare contented days with nothing to do but simply enjoy being together.
Nostalgia brings up a complex mix of emotions: sadness, loss, fear, and regret alongside joy, appreciation, peace, and calm. As humans, we possess something called autonoetic consciousness—the remarkable mental ability to mentally place ourselves in the past or future. During the festive period, this ability amplifies our emotional experience.
3. Love, Connection, and Belonging
Christmas centers around bringing loved ones together and fostering a sense of belonging. Human beings don't just benefit from meaningful relationships—we thrive on them. Research consistently shows that the quality of our relationships serves as one of the most important protective factors for our mental and emotional health.
Creating meaningful connections requires vulnerability and trust. We must show up authentically and navigate challenging situations collaboratively. Strong emotions are woven into the very fabric of our ability to love and connect with others.
During Christmas, relationships get both tested and celebrated, stirring up feelings either way. We spend extended time with family, reconnect with relatives we rarely see, and feel the absence of those no longer with us. We also confront the relationship we have with ourselves: how well do we care for our own needs? How much do we compromise for others? How often do we ignore what we truly want?
Embracing Your Holiday Emotions
Whatever feelings your connections bring up this Christmas, don't push them away. Instead, pause and observe them. Try to understand what they might be teaching you. These emotions aren't obstacles to a "perfect" holiday—they're valuable information about what matters to you, what you need, and who you're becoming.
This Christmas, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up. Your emotions aren't ruining the holidays—they're making them real, meaningful, and ultimately, more human.