I feel like I can’t get myself to do anything after work.
I’m a 29 year old guy, work 40 hours a week, got a girlfriend (no kids) and some friends.
I feel like I keep living the same day over and over. I go to work, come home, scroll on my phone or watch TV, go to bed, and then do it all again the next day. Every now and then I hang out with my friend, but even then it’s only for about 4 or 5 hours maybe twice a week.
When I’m at work I hate being there and I can’t wait to get home. But once I’m home I’m glad I’m not working anymore and then I’m just bored. Sometimes I think about picking up my guitar, reading or playing Xbox, but the thought of starting feels like too much effort. I know that once I start I’ll have to actually do the thing and it feels like too much. It’s hard to explain.
Other times there are a few different things I could do but I can’t choose one.
And another thing is that I have to be in bed by 10pm. Right now it’s 7:30pm and I feel like I can’t start anything. I know logically I still have 2.5 hours left. I could easily get a few matches of call of duty in or read a few chapters in my book, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I start something, the time will fly by and suddenly I’ll have to be in bed already.
The worst part about it is at the end of the day before I go to sleep I think to myself “damn I really should of done something other than scroll on my phone” 😂
I know it doesn’t really make sense but I can’t help feeling stuck in this loop. And you know this cycle didn’t really bother me before but since turning 29 a couple months ago I just feel so different about it.
Jobadvisor
Hey man, first off, what you're describing is super common—plenty of people in their late 20s hit this wall where the daily grind starts feeling like Groundhog Day, especially after a birthday that makes you reflect on where life's headed. It sounds like a mix of after-work burnout, procrastination kicking in when it's time to switch gears, and maybe some quarter-life crisis vibes creeping up since turning 29, where everything feels stagnant and you're questioning if this is it. The good news is it's not irrational; it's often tied to mental fatigue from the day job draining your decision-making energy, making even fun stuff feel like a chore. And that bedtime anxiety about time slipping away? That's a classic time anxiety thing, where the pressure of a limited window paralyzes you from starting. You're already ahead by recognizing the loop and regretting the wasted evenings—that self-awareness is key to breaking it.
Let's break this down with some practical steps to shake things up. I'll focus on stuff that's low-effort to start, since the barrier seems to be that initial hump.
### 1. **Acknowledge and Identify What's Going On**
Start by accepting you're in a rut without beating yourself up—it's temporary and happens to everyone. Take 5-10 minutes one evening (maybe right after work) to jot down what's bugging you: Is it job dissatisfaction spilling over? Boredom from the same routine? Fear that once you start guitar or Xbox, it'll suck up time or you won't enjoy it as much as scrolling? Procrastination often stems from perfectionism, stress, or just plain exhaustion, not laziness. Pinning it down can make it less overwhelming. If it's decision paralysis (too many options like guitar vs. reading vs. gaming), limit yourself to picking just one thing per evening in advance—maybe rotate them on a simple schedule.
### 2. **Tackle the "Starting" Barrier with Tiny Commitments**
The "too much effort" feeling is executive dysfunction in action, where your brain resists the mental switch. Trick it by committing to just 5-10 minutes—tell yourself, "I'll play one song on guitar" or "One match of Call of Duty, then I can quit." Often, momentum kicks in once you're going, but if not, no big deal; you've broken the ice. For time anxiety, set a timer for that short burst so you know it'll end before bedtime flies by. This also fights the fear of wasting time by proving hobbies aren't all-or-nothing. Reward small wins too, like a favorite snack after, to build positive vibes.
### 3. **Mix Up Your Routine to Build Energy**
Since work leaves you drained, build in small changes to recharge. Try switching your after-work wind-down: Instead of jumping straight to phone/TV, do a quick 10-minute walk or stretch when you get home—it boosts endorphins and combats lethargy. On the friend front, since you hang out a couple times a week, suggest something active like a hike or game night to inject variety—social ties help with motivation and perspective. For bigger shakes, experiment with one new thing a week: A different route home, a new podcast during commute, or even volunteering briefly (it gives purpose and breaks monotony). If your girlfriend's game, involve her in hobbies to make them less solo and more fun.
### 4. **Address the Bigger Picture (Quarter-Life Stuff)**
Hitting 29 and feeling "different" screams quarter-life crisis—apathy, unmotivation, and that sense of repetition are hallmarks. Journal about what you value most right now (career growth? Relationships? Adventure?) to clarify goals. Don't take it all too seriously; this age is prime for trying stuff without huge commitments. If work hatred is a big factor, think about small tweaks there (like side projects) or exploring new paths, but start micro—no need for a full overhaul yet.
### 5. **Build Habits and When to Seek Help**
Create a loose structure: Block out 30-60 minutes post-dinner for "hobby time" a few nights a week, treating it like a non-negotiable (but flexible). Track progress in a notes app to see patterns and celebrate streaks—it reduces that end-of-day regret. Prioritize sleep and basics like eating well to fight fatigue. If this persists for weeks and starts affecting your mood more deeply (like constant boredom turning to sadness), chat with a therapist—they can unpack if it's anxiety, mild depression, or just burnout. Apps for meditation or breathing exercises can help with the anxiety piece in the meantime.
You're not stuck forever—this is a phase, and small shifts compound. Start with one tip tonight, like that 5-minute rule, and build from there. You've got time at 29; use it to tweak the loop into something better. If you want more tailored ideas, hit me with details on what hobbies excite you most.
I hate waking up in the morning more than anything in my entire life
Fuck. I hate this cycle of coming home and then it gets dark very quickly cuz it's winter and I sit at home and realize it's already 11 pm. I go to bed and wake up at 6 am. I'm so tired of it man. I hate getting out of my warm bed. I literally have to flip myself over and over again just to get up. I can't stand it. Fuck. I wish work never existed. I wish we could just get the small amount of food we need to survive instead of this shit. Then we would wake up whenever we want and not commute in traffic to some bullshit place filled with fictive tasks and people. 🙁
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and it sounds like you are going through a really tough time right right now. That feeling of dreading the morning and the constant cycle of darkness, work, and exhaustion is incredibly draining. It's completely understandable to feel that level of frustration and even anger, especially when it's cold and the days are short.
That deep longing for a life where you could simply wake up naturally and avoid the tedious commute and "fictive tasks" is a very human response to a demanding and unrelenting schedule.
While I can't magically abolish work or change the season, I can offer a few small ways to potentially make that transition from your warm bed to the day a little less painful, or at least help manage that feeling of being overwhelmed.
🥶 Battling the Winter Morning Dread
Sometimes, tiny changes can make the overwhelming routine feel slightly more manageable.
🌅 Use Light to Your Advantage: Since it's dark when you wake up, a "dawn simulator" or light alarm clock can be a game-changer. They gradually brighten your room for 30 minutes before your alarm goes off, tricking your body into a natural waking process. Even just turning on a bright light immediately after your alarm can help signal to your body that it's time to stop producing melatonin.
☕ Create a "Warm Anchor": Put your most desired morning item—whether it's your favorite coffee mug, a cozy robe, or slippers—right beside your bed. Giving yourself a small, immediate reward that involves warmth and comfort the second you sit up can be a powerful motivator to get your feet on the floor.
🎶 A Change in Sound: If your current alarm is a harsh, jarring sound, change it to something that gradually increases in volume or a piece of music you genuinely like. Less of a shock can mean less immediate resistance.
😴 Address the Late Night: You mentioned the time flying until 11 PM. Setting a "wind-down" alarm for 10 PM (or an hour before you want to be asleep) can help you deliberately interrupt that cycle of sitting and suddenly realizing it's too late. Use that hour for a calming activity like reading instead of screen time.
Your feelings are valid. It's truly exhausting to fight your body every single morning.
26 with a wife and baby that depend on me. I make $36k a year in a dead end job that doesn’t pay the bills. I spent my entire time from 18-26 fucking around in jobs that offer no advancement or quality skills. I do not have time or money to get a 2 or 4 year degree. Medical field interests me, engineering interests me, or just simply learning a new skill that pays, but I have no experience or knowledge. My brain is cooked from researching. Help lol, I’m open to a lot of ideas considering they’re probably paths I haven’t thought of. Thanks in advance.
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and it takes real strength to face this situation head-on, especially with a family depending on you. "Fucking lost" is a valid feeling when the stakes are this high, but you are absolutely not without options. The good news is there are high-demand, high-paying career paths that prioritize certifications, apprenticeships, and skills-based training over a four-year degree, which fits your need for speed and affordability.
Let's break down your interests (Medical, Engineering) and other high-potential paths that can get you well above $36k quickly.
⚕️ Path 1: Healthcare (Medical Field Interest)
Healthcare offers fast-track training for entry-level roles that provide stability and a solid stepping stone.
| Career | Training Time | Estimated Median Salary (Entry/Mid-level) | Notes |
| Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) | 1-2 Years (Certificate/Diploma) | $50,000 - $65,000+ | Provides direct patient care. A clear path for advancement to Registered Nurse (RN) later if you choose to pursue an Associate's Degree. |
| Surgical Technologist | 9-24 Months (Certificate/Associate's) | $55,000 - $70,000+ | Prepares operating rooms, assists the surgical team. High attention-to-detail role. |
| Medical Billing & Coding | 6-18 Months (Certificate) | $45,000 - $55,000+ | Administrative/office-based role, often remote options available. Involves translating medical services into codes for insurance. |
| Phlebotomist | A few weeks to 6 months (Certificate) | $38,000 - $45,000+ | Entry-level with very short training. Gets you immediate healthcare experience and a foot in the door at hospitals/clinics. |
Pro Tip: Look for local community college certificate programs or accredited technical schools. Many offer financial aid and flexible evening/weekend classes to work around your current job.
🛠️ Path 2: Skilled Trades (High-Demand, Hands-On)
These roles require a high school diploma and an apprenticeship, which is paid on-the-job training, solving your money and time problem simultaneously. This is often the fastest path to a six-figure income without a degree.
| Career | Training Path | Estimated Median Salary (Journeyman/Mid-level) | Notes |
| Electrician | 4-5 Year Paid Apprenticeship + Licensing | $60,000 - $100,000+ | Always in demand, great advancement potential to Master Electrician or starting your own contracting business. Apprenticeships are a job from day one. |
| HVAC Technician | 6-24 Months (Certificate) + Apprenticeship/OJT | $55,000 - $90,000+ | Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning. Essential work, especially with a focus on new energy-efficient systems. High demand for residential and commercial. |
| Plumber / Pipefitter | 4-5 Year Paid Apprenticeship + Licensing | $55,000 - $95,000+ | Crucial, recession-proof trade. Similar structure and earning potential to an Electrician. |
| Elevator Installer/Repairer | 4-5 Year Paid Apprenticeship (Union) | $100,000+ | One of the highest-paid trades. Highly specialized, often union-backed, and requires mechanical aptitude. |
Action Step: Search for local Union Apprenticeships (e.g., IBEW for Electrical, UA for Plumbing/Pipefitting). They pay you to learn, provide benefits, and often require no prior experience.
💻 Path 3: Technology (Engineering Interest - Tech Focus)
Many "Engineering" concepts now fall into the technology sector, where certifications and bootcamps have replaced the traditional degree.
| Career | Training Time | Estimated Median Salary (Entry/Mid-level) | Notes |
| IT Support Specialist | 3-6 Months (Google/CompTIA Certificate) | $45,000 - $65,000+ | The entry point into tech. Troubleshooting and fixing computer/network issues. The certification training is cheap and fast, and can be done entirely online. |
| Data Analyst | 3-9 Months (Google/IBM Certificate or Bootcamp) | $65,000 - $85,000+ | Involves finding patterns and insights in data. Less coding than a developer, more logical problem-solving. A good fit if you like the "analysis" aspect of engineering. |
| Cybersecurity Analyst (Entry-level) | 6-12 Months (CompTIA Security+ etc.) | $70,000 - $90,000+ | Extremely high demand. Focuses on protecting systems from threats. You can often pivot into this after starting in IT Support. |
Action Step: Look into Google Career Certificates on Coursera (Data Analytics, IT Support, Cybersecurity). They are affordable, self-paced, and designed to lead directly to an entry-level job.
✅ Your Immediate 3-Step Plan
Given your current financial pressure, a successful plan must address income and training simultaneously.
Identify Your Best Fit: Based on your current strengths and location, which of the three paths (Healthcare, Trades, Tech) feels the most sustainable? (e.g., Are you a hands-on problem solver? Go for Trades or LPN. Are you a critical thinker/logical analyzer? Go for Tech or Billing/Coding.)
Find a Paid Training Opportunity: This is key. Prioritize a path that offers an immediate income while training:
Union Apprenticeships (Trades): Get paid while you learn the skill.
Entry-Level Tech (IT Support): Get a job first, then use your new paycheck to pay for quick, cheap, high-ROI certifications like CompTIA A+.
CNA/Phlebotomist (Healthcare): Very quick training and certification to get a higher-paying job fast, then leverage that stability to train for LPN.
Search Locally for Resources: Look up "Workforce Investment Boards" or "Career OneStop" in your area. These government-funded organizations often offer free or heavily subsidized training and job placement assistance for in-demand careers to people in your exact situation.
You are 26, which is incredibly young in the grand scheme of a career. You have the motivation and the drive—that is a better foundation than any degree.
[CA] how long to wait to hear back from HR?
There has been a laundry list of issues at the company I work for, but I need a job.
I have been trying to reach HR for at least a month. They finally got back to me, but did not resolve the issue. They won’t even reply to answer whether they received the forms I needed to fill out.
I can’t work until they get back. I’ve called, emailed, etc. How long do I wait, or how to proceed?
My manager, supervisors, etc are no help.
Jobadvisor
I understand how frustrating and stressful this situation is, especially when your ability to work and earn an income is dependent on HR's action. A month is an unacceptably long time to wait for a critical resolution, and the silence after submitting forms is a huge concern.
Here is a plan on how to proceed, focusing on actionable steps and understanding your rights in California (CA).
⏳ How Long to Wait & Next Steps
Given that you cannot work until HR responds, you have little time to spare. A reasonable final waiting period is 2-3 business days for them to acknowledge receipt of the forms, and no more than 5 business days for an actual resolution or clear update/timeline.
Since you've already done the standard follow-up (calls, emails), your next communication needs to be more formal and strategic.
1. Send a Formal, Final Communication (Email)
You need to create a paper trail that clearly shows your efforts, the inaction of the company, and the impact on your employment.
To: The main HR contact and copy your direct manager, your manager's supervisor, and potentially a general company email (like info@ or admin@). This is called "emailing up the chain" and adds pressure.
Subject: URGENT: Follow-Up Regarding Employment Status - [Your Name] - [Date Forms Submitted]
Suggested Email Content:
Dear [HR Contact Name],
This email serves as a formal follow-up regarding the outstanding HR matter preventing me from working.
On [Date], I submitted the required forms/documentation to you via [Email/Mail/Internal System]. Despite multiple attempts to follow up via phone and email on [List 2-3 specific dates], I have not yet received confirmation that these forms were received or processed.
My current situation is: I am unable to perform my work duties, or return to work, until this specific issue/process is resolved by HR.
I need a resolution, or at minimum, a clear timeline for resolution, no later than [Pick a date 3-5 business days from today, e.g., Monday, Dec. 8th]. If I do not receive a substantive response and resolution by this deadline, I will be forced to escalate this matter to the relevant state agencies to protect my employment rights and recover lost wages.
Please confirm receipt of this email and provide an update immediately.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
[Your Phone Number]
2. Prepare for Escalation (CA Resources)
If you do not get a substantive response by the deadline you set, you must act. In California, your rights are protected by the Department of Industrial Relations (DIR) and the Employment Development Department (EDD).
| Resource | When to Contact | What They Handle |
| CA Labor Commissioner (DLSE) | If you are losing wages because the company is preventing you from working. | Wage claims, retaliation, and other employment rights violations. |
| CA EDD | If you are currently unable to work due to the company's inaction. | Unemployment Insurance (UI) benefits. |
3. Consider Filing for Unemployment
If the company's inaction means you are ready and willing to work, but the employer is preventing you from working, you may be eligible for Unemployment Insurance (UI) benefits from the EDD.
The Argument: You are unemployed through no fault of your own. The employer's failure to process essential forms is an involuntary separation or suspension of work.
Action: If your deadline passes without resolution, you should file a claim with the EDD immediately. When you file, state clearly that you are ready and able to work, but the company's Human Resources department has failed to process the necessary documentation for your employment status, effectively resulting in a "lack of work" or "employer suspension."
🛑 Important Warning
If the issue is related to a workplace incident (e.g., workers' compensation, medical leave, or a serious hostile work environment complaint), you need to be very specific about the issue in your formal communication. The specific law governing your situation might be different.
Given the extreme delay and refusal to communicate, the best path forward is to set a firm deadline, and if it is missed, immediately contact the CA EDD and DLSE.
[NY] When should I put in my 2 weeks notice?
Hello!! I recently got a new job offer and I am very excited to start on 1/5! I am curious about when I should put in my 2 week notice, given my holiday break is from 12/24-1/1 and we are technically supposed to log back on Friday 1/2 but I would prefer not to do that. Ideally 1/1 would be my last day so I can get paid for the holidays but I am not sure if that is feasible that most of my last weeks would be a break. I know my company is not one to let you go on the spot and have had a few coworkers who quit finish out their two weeks.
Additional context - I am the only person on my direct team right now as I have been forced to cover 4 peoples roles for the past few months while people are out/roles are open, so when I resign there will be no one on my team. I have been treated incredibly unfairly so I am not super worried about leaving them hanging tbh but I still want to be professional.
So my question is - what day should I hand in my notice? 12/18? Or should I do it earlier as a courtesy?
Jobadvisor
This is a great question that involves balancing your financial interests (getting paid for the holidays) against professional courtesy. Given your company's poor treatment of you and your heavy workload, prioritizing your own benefit is perfectly reasonable.
Here is the breakdown of your options, aiming for your ideal last day of January 1st.
🗓️ 2-Week Notice Schedule Analysis
A two-week notice is typically 10 working days, but for scheduling, you usually count 14 calendar days.
Your new start date is Monday, January 5th. You want your last day to be Thursday, January 1st.
| Notice Given On | 2 Weeks Ends On (14 Calendar Days) | Last Day if Ending 1/1 | Notes |
| Thursday, December 18th | Thursday, January 1st | Thursday, January 1st | This is the ideal date. This hits the 14-day mark exactly on your preferred last day, and you are paid for the holiday break (12/24 - 1/1). |
| Wednesday, December 17th | Wednesday, December 31st | Thursday, January 1st | Still effective, but giving notice a day earlier doesn't gain you much. |
| Friday, December 19th | Friday, January 2nd | Friday, January 2nd | You would need to work that day, which you stated you want to avoid. |
✅ Recommendation: Give Notice on Thursday, December 18th
If you give your notice on Thursday, December 18th, your two-week notice period concludes exactly on Thursday, January 1st.
💰 Holiday Pay Considerations
The main goal is to ensure you are paid for the entire holiday break (12/24 - 1/1).
Check Your Company Policy: Review your employee handbook (or old emails) regarding holiday pay. Most companies require you to be an employee in good standing on the day of the holiday to receive pay. Since you would still be an employee through January 1st, you should be paid for all observed holidays between the 18th and the 1st.
State the Last Day Clearly: In your resignation letter, clearly state your last day will be January 1, 2026.
Example: "Please accept this letter as formal notification that I am resigning from my position as [Your Title] with [Company Name]. My last day of employment will be Thursday, January 1, 2026."
By resigning on December 18th, you are providing a full two-week notice, which fulfills your professional obligation, and your last few days will be the company-scheduled paid holiday break.
🤝 Handling the Workload
Since you are the only one on your team, you are concerned about leaving them hanging.
Focus on Documentation, not Completion: You are not responsible for completing four people's jobs in two weeks. Your responsibility is to document your current projects and processes to make the transition easier for the next person/team.
Keep it Professional: When you resign, thank them for the opportunity and offer to assist in documentation during your transition period. This keeps your departure professional, which is always wise for your professional reputation and references, even if the company was unfair.
Final Answer: Hand in your two-week notice on Thursday, December 18th, making your final day January 1st. This allows you to get paid for the holiday break and begin your new job on the 5th without having to log on for work on January 2nd.
