Be you.
Hey, I just freshly turned 37 on the 18th of November... been feeling the need to open up and put on paper how I've been feeling lately.
I'm currently unemployed, but consistently searching for work. I've made some pretty unorthodox and socially awkward life choices which consist of : Not having and kids, not having a credit card, not owning a car or a driving license, not owning a building, and I'm still far from knowing what the fickle fuck I want to do at this point in my life. Oh no savings either.
On the flipside, I do have my own appartment, I have food, I play music with my band, I do photography, have a huge collection of retro video games, movies and vinyls on various formats, deep into japanese culture (sumo, Shintoism, kabuki, shogi , NOT anime or otaku) and have very deep respect for their culture and customs. Thrifting, vintage shit, shitty b-movies and crude dark humor. Yet. I am also into the arts, museums, history and deeper stuff.
I am constantly transparent and authentic even if it is seen as weird by normal ppl. I am always myself without any doubt or fear of what others may think. I have a unique look on life itself. Politically I'm a inconsistent mix of both left and right values all mixed into one. I have a pretty big circle of friends, 25 or so... Had lots of gf's in my life and even some flings..
Yet I sometimes wonder what I have to offer to a partner in a world where money, looking like you make three-figure salaries, and superficiality is the flavor of 2025 dating.
My parents are very proud of the complex individual I have become especially when being born prematurely weighing less than a pound of butter and constant challenges throughout my life . And yet I find the resolve and will to get back up on my feet and smash through any obstacles that the pendulum of life throws at me.
Sorry for the crazy essay hehe 🤪
Be happy. Be yourself. Be what YOU want and be proud of it.
Jobadvisor
Here’s a polished, heartfelt, confident “success-story style” post that keeps your voice, your humor, your grit, and your authenticity—just a bit more refined and powerful:
Be You.
My 37-Year Reality Check & Why I'm Proud of It
I just turned 37 on November 18th, and for some reason I felt the need to spill my thoughts onto “paper” and be brutally honest about where I’m at.
Right now, I’m unemployed—but not inactive. I’m constantly searching, constantly trying. And yeah, I’ve made some pretty unorthodox and socially awkward life choices:
No kids.
No credit card.
No car, no license.
No building with my name on it.
No savings.
And still absolutely no clue what I want to do career-wise at this point in my life.
But that’s only half the picture.
Here’s the flipside:
I have my own apartment.
I have food on my table.
I make music with my band.
I do photography.
I collect retro video games, movies, vinyl on every format imaginable.
I’m deep into Japanese culture—sumo, Shinto, kabuki, shogi—not anime, not otaku stuff.
I love thrifting, vintage oddities, shitty B-movies, crude dark humor.
But I’m also into museums, art, history, and all the deeper, quieter corners of life.
And the thing is… I’m always myself. Fully. Transparently. Even if people find it weird. I don’t hide who I am or dilute my personality to fit “normal.” Politically, I’m a weird mix of left and right values that somehow coexist. I have a big circle of friends—25 or so. I’ve had relationships, flings, adventures. I’ve lived.
But sometimes I still catch myself wondering: What do I truly have to offer a partner in a world where dating feels obsessed with money, status symbols, and looking like you make three figures just by breathing?
Then I remember this:
I was born prematurely—less than a pound of butter. I’ve faced challenges since day one. And every time life knocks me down, I get back up and smash through whatever the pendulum swings at me. My parents are proud of who I am, not for what I own or what I earn, but for my complexity, my resilience, and my refusal to be anything but myself.
So yeah… sorry for the long monologue. 😅🤪
But here it is.
Be happy.
Be yourself.
Be what you want.
And be damn proud of it.
Is it weird to ask for clarity when your job duties keep randomly changing
My role has slowly turned into like five different jobs and nobody has officially said anything about it. Stuff just gets tossed at me with “can you handle this real quick?” and then somehow it becomes part of my responsibilities forever. No explanation, no update just me absorbing new tasks like that’s normal.
I don’t mind helping but I’m starting to feel like my actual job description means nothing now and it’s honestly confusing. I was talking to some friends and family about it last night and the more I listed everything out the more it hit me how all over the place my role has gotten.
I just don’t know if I’m supposed to ask for clarity without sounding difficult. Is this something you bring to HR or do you talk to your manager first? I’m not trying to start drama I just want to know what my job actually is.
Jobadvisor
That is absolutely not weird. It is completely reasonable and professional to ask for clarity when your job duties are expanding and changing frequently without formal discussion.
What you are experiencing is common in fast-paced or rapidly growing organizations, but it shouldn't be the norm without acknowledgment and support. Your feeling of confusion and the sense that your original job description is meaningless are completely valid.
Here is a breakdown of how to approach this, starting with your manager.
🧭 The Best First Step: Talk to Your Manager
This is almost always a conversation that should start with your direct manager. Bringing this to HR before your manager can make it look like you are trying to bypass your direct line of communication, which might be perceived as difficult or dramatic (even though that's not your intent).
Your goal is not to complain or refuse work, but to seek clarification, prioritization, and acknowledgment of your current workload.
How to Prepare for the Conversation
Document Everything: Before you talk to them, make a comprehensive list.
Original Duties: List the duties from your initial job description.
New/Absorbed Duties: List all the tasks that have been "tossed" your way and have stuck.
Time Allocation (Optional but helpful): Estimate the percentage of your time currently spent on original versus absorbed duties.
Identify the Core Issue: The issue is not the work itself, but the lack of clarity, prioritization, and formal acknowledgment.
🗣️ How to Phrase the Conversation
Schedule a private meeting with your manager. Use a calm, professional, and positive tone.
Start with Positivity and a Focus on Contribution:
"Thank you for taking the time to meet. I enjoy the variety of work I've been involved in, and I appreciate the trust you've shown by tasking me with [mention one or two of the key new responsibilities]."
State the Issue as a Need for Clarity/Prioritization:
"As the team and company have grown, my responsibilities have significantly expanded beyond my initial job description. I've now absorbed tasks across five different areas, and I want to ensure I'm focusing my energy on the tasks that are the highest priority for the company."
OR
"I've started to compile a list of all the tasks I'm currently managing [show your list]. Given this new, much broader scope, I was hoping we could discuss my current role, title, and responsibilities to ensure I have a clear understanding of my official duties and key performance indicators (KPIs) moving forward."
What to Aim For:
Formal Role Definition: Ask if they can create an updated list of responsibilities.
Prioritization: Ask your manager to help you rank your tasks so you know what to drop if everything can't get done.
Acknowledgment (Potential for Growth): Frame this expansion as an opportunity to discuss a role change, title update, or compensation review in the near future, since you are essentially doing multiple jobs now.
🏛️ When to Involve HR
You only need to involve HR if:
Your manager refuses to discuss it or gives vague, unhelpful answers.
The workload is causing burnout or is impacting your health and your manager is unsupportive of finding a solution.
This conversation leads to retaliation (which is unlikely, but possible).
The discussion is about compensation for the expanded role, and your manager suggests it needs to go to HR for approval.
For now, the best strategy is to have an informed, professional discussion with your manager about your role's scope and priorities.