Red flags. Cheating scandals. Relationship drama. All of these factors play into the negativity of today’s dating culture. With the massive influence of social media, influencers — and to an extent, regular people — have used their platforms to expose their partners based on how they treated them and the overall nature of the couple’s relationship.
No matter if it’s the 100th time of taking back a controlling ex or making useless promises that aren’t destined to be kept, there’s always something that is going to feed into the toxicity of dating culture.
To dig more into this topic, Redditors provided their commentary on what makes today’s dating culture so toxic. To say the least, most offer advice that could be valuable for most people.
1. Are you taken seriously?
“Everybody is being viewed as opportunities, objects, or obsessions.” —u/DeliciousCellist9948
2. People no longer understand the value of care.
“It feels like there’s a general loss of care and empathy for others’ emotions. This general loss of empathy is the source of most of the toxicity. Ghosting, backup boyfriends/girlfriends, commodification of partners.” —u/ThePersonInYourSeat
3. Location tracking.
“I think it’s weird how everyone tracks everyone else’s location. There are some situations where doing this is appropriate, but 24/7?” —u/CallingDrDingle
4. Straight to the point.
“Situationship.” —u/stressed_bisexual-06
5. Unfortunately, you can’t win.
“Virgin shaming and slut shaming are both on the rise. There’s also a culture of shit talking and almost reveling in making fun of bad dates, and focusing on that more than finding good ones.” —u/lifebeginsat9pm
6. No social media? No date.
“People acting like having no social media is a red flag. ‘Ooh, but you might be hiding something!’” —u/shadowlarvitar
7. The “icks”.
“Icks. No one in the world is going to be perfectly tailored to your tastes. We all have habits that may be irritating to someone to some degree. The unrealistic standard of perfection is harrowing, especially when it’s nonsensical, as ‘taking sugar in tea’.” —u/liseaubigny
8. Ghosting can hurt a person.
“Ghosting. It’s just unkind. Tell the person it’s not working for you and part ways.” —u/Soft_Entertainment
9. Apparently, love is a game.
“A game you have to ‘win’. No more sincere trying to get to know an interesting person.” —u/Exlibro
10. Maybe, lower your standards?
“I have 2. I feel like everyone has high standards and won’t give people an opportunity to grow, AND tests. They never work out. Once you give your partner a test, the trust is broken.” —u/Otter-with-a-Gun
11. Wrap it before you tap it.
“The lack of protection in one-night stands. My last like 4 one-night stands, none of them asked me to use protection because they either were on the pill or had an IUD. They didn’t even acknowledge STDs/STIs.” —u/Tall-Performer2500
12. Never take advice from those who don’t live by their own advice.
“Taking dating advice from people who have never been in a healthy long-term relationship. It’s like asking for a budget from a broke financial advisor.” —u/QueenofDemLizardFolk
13. The dreadful dating apps.
“Dating apps. People make snap judgments about other people in half a second by looking at a single picture. Tell me how that isn’t toxic?” —u/bguzewicz
14. The pressure of being socially “liked”.
“Social media expectations, needing the person you’re dating or interested in liking/commenting on your posts or posting something about you to feel validated.” —u/One-Philosopher8868
15. Testing the waters, but not fully committed.
“People treating relationships like Amazon returns try it out, send it back, no big deal.” —u/Extra-Pineapple-2000