They call it “quiet quitting.” I call it finally respecting myself.
For years, I gave everything to my job. Stayed late, answered messages after hours, skipped lunches just to “prove” I was a team player. My reward? More work, zero raise, and a boss who called me “lazy” the one time I said no.
Then one day, it clicked. This company doesn’t care if I burn out. They don’t notice the small sacrifices only when I stop making them. So I stopped.
Now I do what I’m paid to do. I log off on time. I eat my lunch without guilt. I stopped volunteering for things that aren’t mine. And you know what? The world didn’t collapse. The company still runs. The only difference is I finally feel like a human being again.
They call it “quiet quitting.” But to me? It’s loudly reclaiming my peace. Your thoughts?
Jobadvisor
Your thoughts are not only justified but resonate with a growing number of people who are re-evaluating their relationship with work. "Quiet quitting" might be the trending term, but your interpretation – "loudly reclaiming my peace" – is far more accurate and empowering.
Here's why your experience and perspective are so valid and important:
The Unspoken Contract: You operated under an unspoken contract: "If I give more, I will be rewarded." When that contract was repeatedly broken (more work, zero raise, negative feedback for setting boundaries), it's only natural and healthy to adjust your input. You realized the asymmetry of the relationship.
Preventing Burnout: What you were doing before was a fast track to burnout. The stress, the lack of boundaries, the constant pressure to "prove yourself" – these are unsustainable. Reclaiming your time and energy is a crucial act of self-preservation.
Defining Your Value: Your value as an employee isn't measured by how much you sacrifice, but by the quality of the work you produce during the hours you're contracted for. You've recognized that you don't need to be a martyr to be valuable.
Companies' Role in "Quiet Quitting": Often, the conditions that lead to "quiet quitting" are created by the companies themselves. Overwork, lack of recognition, stagnant wages, and unreasonable expectations are significant contributors. Employees aren't inherently lazy; they respond to the environment they're in.
The Myth of Constant Hustle: Society has, for a long time, glorified the "hustle culture" – working yourself to the bone, always being available, making work your primary identity. Your experience demonstrates the hollowness of that pursuit when it's not reciprocated or valued by the employer.
Setting Healthy Boundaries: What you're doing is simply establishing healthy professional boundaries. You're performing the duties outlined in your job description for the compensation you receive, during the agreed-upon hours. This is not "quitting"; it's working as intended.
Empowerment: This shift isn't about apathy; it's about empowerment. You've taken back control of your time, your energy, and your self-worth. It's a profound act of self-respect.
It's understandable that your boss labeled you "lazy" when you set a boundary. People who benefit from your overwork often react negatively when those benefits are withdrawn. But their perception doesn't diminish the validity or necessity of your actions.
You've learned a crucial lesson about valuing yourself and your time. It sounds like you're not "quietly quitting" but rather loudly advocating for your well-being within the confines of your employment. This is a positive change, and it's fantastic that you feel like a human being again. Keep reclaiming your peace!
What does your ideal "reclaimed peace" look like outside of work?
Is it normal to stop caring about climbing the ladder once you realize the ladder sucks?
I used to want promotions more than anything. I said yes to every project, took on extra work and lived for those small title changes. But now that I am higher up I just feel tired. The stress never ends, the pay barely keeps up and the joy disappeared somewhere along the way.
I thought success would feel like pride. It just feels like meetings. Endless, pointless meetings.
Sometimes when I am on break, I talk to people about random stuff that has nothing to do with work. It reminds me that not everything has to be about career goals and growth.
How do you find a balance between ambition and peace without feeling like you are giving up on yourself?
Jobadvisor
It's completely normal to feel that way! Many people experience a shift in perspective once they reach a certain level in their careers. The initial drive for promotions often comes from a place of wanting to prove oneself, achieve recognition, or secure financial stability. However, the reality of higher positions can sometimes be a letdown, as you've described. The increased stress, longer hours, and endless meetings can erode the joy that once fueled that ambition.
It sounds like you're experiencing a common phenomenon where the "golden handcuffs" of a high-stress, high-responsibility role start to chafe. You're realizing that the traditional definition of success—climbing the corporate ladder—isn't necessarily aligning with your personal well-being and happiness.
Here are a few thoughts on how to find that balance without feeling like you're giving up on yourself:
Redefine Success for Yourself: What does "success" truly mean to you now? It might not be the next promotion or a higher salary. It could be more time for hobbies, stronger relationships, better health, or a sense of purpose outside of work. Take some time to reflect on your values and what truly brings you fulfillment.
Explore "Quiet Quitting" or "Work-to-Live" Mindset: This doesn't mean doing the bare minimum or slacking off, but rather setting boundaries and only doing the work that is expected of you within your hours, without constantly seeking extra responsibilities for the sake of advancement. It's about prioritizing your life outside of work.
Seek Out Lateral Moves or Different Roles: Sometimes a change in role, even if it's not a promotion, can offer a different kind of challenge or a better work-life balance. Could there be a role in your company, or another company, that offers interesting work without the intense pressure of your current position?
Embrace Hobbies and Interests: You've already started doing this by talking about non-work-related things during breaks! Actively pursue hobbies that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment outside of work. This can be anything from creative arts, sports, volunteering, or learning a new skill. These activities can provide a much-needed sense of peace and a reminder that your identity isn't solely tied to your job.
Set Clear Boundaries: Learn to say "no" to projects or extra responsibilities that don't align with your new priorities or that will significantly increase your stress without a commensurate reward. This can be challenging, especially if you're used to being a "yes" person, but it's crucial for protecting your time and energy.
Consider a Career Coach or Mentor: Talking to someone who can help you navigate these feelings and explore different career paths or life strategies can be incredibly helpful. They can offer an outside perspective and help you identify actionable steps.
Financial Planning: Sometimes the pressure to climb comes from financial obligations. If possible, review your finances to see if there are ways to reduce expenses or build savings that could give you more flexibility to make career choices based on happiness rather than purely on income.
Reframe Your Current Role: If you decide to stay in your current role, try to reframe how you approach it. Focus on the aspects you do enjoy, the problems you can solve, and the positive impact you can make, rather than solely on the ladder itself.
It's not about giving up on yourself; it's about evolving and recognizing what truly matters for your overall well-being. It's a sign of maturity to realize that the traditional markers of success may not lead to personal fulfillment. Finding that balance is a journey, and it's okay to adjust your goals along the way.
Is it ok to not really have any career ambitions?
I'm 28 and been in my position for 4 years now. My boss surprised us and said he is taking a promotion at the end of the year. Meaning his position is open. There are 2 of us who can apply. Honestly I dont want it. Its a dollar raise and comes with a lot more stress and a different work environment (moving into management). Plus my coworker has kids and is struggling to make ends meet so he could use the raise more than me.
Other people at the office are surprised by my lack of interest in the promotion. Am I crazy or are my thoughts justified?
Jobadvisor
It's absolutely okay to not have strong career ambitions, especially if your current situation is working for you! Your thoughts are completely justified, and it's a very common feeling.
Here's why your perspective makes a lot of sense:
Work-Life Balance: Many people prioritize a good work-life balance over higher pay or more responsibility.
1 If you're content with your current stress level, hours, and responsibilities, why change it for a marginal gain?Stress vs. Reward: A dollar raise for "a lot more stress" and a "different work environment" that you don't desire isn't a good trade-off for everyone. You're wisely evaluating the cost-benefit.
Different Skill Sets/Interests: Moving into management isn't for everyone. It requires a different set of skills (leading, delegating, problem-solving from a higher level, managing people) that you might not be interested in developing or utilizing. It sounds like you enjoy your current role, which is perfectly valid.
Personal Values: Your consideration for your coworker's financial situation shows empathy and a strong sense of personal values. While career decisions are ultimately personal, it's commendable to think about the impact on others.
"Ambition" is Relative: Society often pushes a narrative of constant upward mobility, but "ambition" can mean different things to different people.
2 For some, it's mastering their current role, learning new skills within their field, or finding fulfillment outside of work.Contentment is a Goal: Being content and happy with your current position is a valid and often elusive goal. If you've found that, there's no inherent need to disrupt it.
Why others might be surprised:
Many people are conditioned to see promotions as the natural and only path to success. They might assume everyone wants more money, more power, or more responsibility, even if it comes at a cost. They might also be projecting their own ambitions onto you.
What you can do:
Be Clear (but polite): If asked, you can simply state that you're very happy and fulfilled in your current role and are not looking for a management position at this time. You don't need to over-explain or justify yourself extensively.
Focus on Your Contributions: Continue to excel in your current role. Your value isn't just in seeking promotions, but in being a reliable, skilled, and positive contributor where you are.
Consider Future Growth (on your terms): While you don't want this promotion, think about what kind of growth does appeal to you. Maybe it's becoming a subject matter expert, leading specific projects within your current role, or learning new skills that enhance your current position. If something like that comes up, you'll be ready.
Advocate for Your Coworker (if appropriate): If you feel comfortable, you could subtly mention to your boss (if they ask you about applying) that your coworker is very interested and would be a great fit.
Ultimately, your career path is yours to define. If you're happy, stable, and feel good about your decisions, you're doing just fine. There's no single "right" way to navigate a career.
If you were to envision your ideal work life, what would it look like?