The face of the average stay-at-home parent has changed a lot since the '90s, and it might look a little more like Dad, complete with facial hair and Dad jokes.
According to the Pew Research Center, the number of stay-at-home dads has nearly doubled over the past 30 years. In 1989, only about 1 in 10 stay-at-home parents was a father, but now that figure is close to 1 in 5.
While moms still make up the majority of stay-at-home parents, there’s been a shift. More dads are staying home full-time due to a mix of economic necessity and changing gender roles.
Caregiving Takes the Lead
In the past, most men only stayed home if they were out of work or sick. But now, more dads are opting for caregiving over breadwinning.
For example, back in 1989, just 4% of stay-at-home dads said they chose to stay home to care for their family. Fast forward to today, and 23% say caregiving is their main reason for staying home.
One major driver of this shift? Women’s increasing earning power and education. More couples are deciding who stays home based on who makes more money, rather than sticking to traditional gender roles.
It’s also easier for both moms and dads to balance work and family life, as more companies offer flexible work-from-home options. Dads are able to juggle their careers while also managing childcare and household duties.
There’s a practical side to this too. With rising child care costs and stagnant wages, having one parent stay home is becoming a more sensible financial decision.
Breaking Tradition for Financial Stability
Letting go of traditional gender roles in household work can actually improve financial security.
When the higher-earning parent focuses on their career while the other takes on caregiving, it can help the family save more, build up retirement funds, and keep a solid emergency fund in place.
If a mom is the higher earner and stays home instead of working, she could face what’s called the “mother penalty”—where her career takes a hit, leading to lower wages and fewer opportunities down the line.
Research shows that for every year a parent, particularly a mom, leaves the workforce, they lose more than three times their annual salary in long-term earnings. So, it’s not just a short-term decision; it can affect a family’s financial future if a mom with a good job leaves to care for kids.
On the flip side, when the primary earner has strong benefits—like a good 401(k) match, healthcare, or a pension—the family is in a better position to save for the future.
Is Staying Home Right for You?
If you're trying to decide whether you or your partner should stay home, here are a few things to consider:
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Income & Benefits: Compare your salaries, health insurance, retirement contributions, and growth potential. If one partner has better benefits, it might make more sense for the other to stay home.
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Job Stability & Industry Outlook: If one job is in a high-risk industry (like retail or hospitality) and the other is in a stable field (like tech or unionized manufacturing), it might make sense to prioritize the more stable job.
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Remote Work Flexibility: The pandemic showed that remote work is more than just a perk—it can be essential for balancing work and childcare. If one parent has the ability to work from home, it could make sense for them to take on the caregiving role while still bringing in an income.
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Career & Retirement Impact: Think long-term. If one partner stays home for a few years, what does that mean for their retirement savings? On the other hand, staying in a low-paying job with few benefits might offer less financial growth than taking on the caregiving role.
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Personal Satisfaction & Family Dynamics: Beyond the numbers, it’s important to consider who wants to stay home and how the role shift fits with your family’s values. If caregiving becomes a source of frustration or resentment, it could undermine any financial benefits.
Ultimately, staying at home isn’t just a financial decision—it’s about balancing priorities, personal goals, and the well-being of the whole family.