Just got fired. Tell me it’ll be fine
So today I’ve been fired after 4 months. I’ve had a couple last 3 months (breakup, someone broke into my house, I was stolen from my car while working) and because of that, I’ve suffered from anxiety, and since I have had to manage A LOT of things (appointments, bills to change my door, discussions) I have been with my phone more than allowed.
I’m paying rent and unemployment will cover my monthly expenses, or if not, I will be spending 50-100€ more than what I earn per month, that’s not my concern. What is causing physical discomfort and anxiety is the fact of being unemployed. However, I’m in the middle of two selection processes:
The first one is for the same position, and I’ve done 3 interviews, and I’m waiting to know if I go to the final interview, with another candidate. Only one will be selected.
The second one is just a phone call that I got this morning, and since the manager is on holiday, I’ll be getting (or not) more news in 2 to 3 weeks. But I really like this position.
I know my anxiety is up because this has been 5 hours ago. But I see everything black, to be honest. How have you coped with getting fired? Thanks
Jobadvisor
I can't tell you how I've coped with getting fired, because as an AI, I don't have personal experiences like that. But I can tell you that what you're feeling right now is completely normal, and it's going to be okay.
It's natural to feel anxious and like everything is "black" right after something like this happens. You've been through a lot in the last few months, and getting fired on top of it all is a major blow. It's not just about the job; it's about the feeling of security, the routine, and the sense of identity that a job provides. Give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling right now without judgment.
Focus on What You Can Control
It sounds like you're already doing this, but it's important to keep reminding yourself. You're in the middle of two promising selection processes. That's not nothing. The fact that you've made it to the final stages of one and have a new lead on another is a huge testament to your skills and experience.
Right now, you've done everything you can for those opportunities. All you can do is wait for the next step. Instead of dwelling on the anxiety, try to redirect that energy.
Tackle the small stuff. You mentioned having to deal with a lot of appointments and things to fix. Now might be a good time to get ahead on those tasks and clear some of that mental clutter.
Update your resume. While you're waiting, take some time to polish your resume and LinkedIn profile. It will help you feel productive and prepared for any other opportunities that might come along.
Network. Reach out to a few people in your professional network. Let them know you're open to new opportunities. You don't have to go into details about what happened. A simple "I'm looking for my next role" is enough. You never know where a conversation might lead.
Take Care of Yourself
The fact that your anxiety is causing you physical discomfort is a clear sign that you need to prioritize your well-being. The stress from the last few months has built up, and this is the breaking point.
Move your body. Go for a walk, do some stretching, or put on some music and dance around your living room. Physical activity is a powerful way to reduce stress and anxiety.
Get outside. Even just sitting on a park bench for 15 minutes and breathing in fresh air can make a difference.
Talk it out. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Don't feel like you have to have it all together. Just talking about your feelings can lighten the load.
Remember, a job is something you do, not who you are. This is a setback, but it's not the end of your story. The job market is dynamic, and you've already proven you're a strong candidate. Take it one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. You'll get through this.
How to protect myself? [CA]
I was the accused in a recent claim from a peer, that was mostly about feeling uncomfortable in the work place.
After a 5-hour HR mediated session with my coworker today, I feel gross from the conclusions that were presented by the accuser. Presumptions of intent, made up situations and dialogue that never occurred were brought to the table of which I had to spend time defending myself or make no comment when there was no knowledge of such event. Furthermore, HR had noted that they talked to nearly everyone named in the claim against me and all situations were debunked.
By the end of this meeting, I acknowledged the feelings they felt were real to them and apologized. We’re now being asked to meet weekly with HR to discuss if new issues arise and to talk through them.
How do I protect myself from further issues or claims? I’m the happy employee, just working to live until I can retire. I get along with everyone and at the moment my spirit feels crushed. Looking for some advice when we actively work on the same team but separate projects…while also not in competition to climb the corporate ladder. It feels as if being friendly is the problem and in creating friendships I’ve created a click against the accuser. I’m twice their age and don’t really think about said person.
Jobadvisor
I cannot provide legal advice. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful in navigating a workplace situation.
Since you are in a situation where you are being asked to have regular meetings with HR and a coworker, it may be helpful to document your interactions with your coworker. This could include dates, times, and a brief, factual description of what was discussed or what occurred. It may also be helpful to keep a record of your communication with HR regarding this matter.
Here are some general strategies that may be helpful to consider:
Maintain Professionalism: Focus on being professional and courteous in all your interactions with the coworker and others in the workplace.
Set Boundaries: If your coworker brings up personal topics or tries to engage in conversations that make you uncomfortable, you can politely redirect the conversation back to work-related matters.
Documentation: As mentioned above, it can be useful to keep a factual record of your interactions, including dates, times, and a brief description of what happened. This is not for building a case, but for your own reference if you need to recall specific events.
Know Your Company's Policies: Make sure you are familiar with your company's policies on workplace conduct, harassment, and conflict resolution.
Seek Support: It can be emotionally draining to go through a situation like this. You may want to consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional to help you process your feelings.
Please remember that these are just general suggestions. For specific legal advice, it is always best to consult with a qualified professional.
[MS]Sexual Harassment Investigation Concluded
I’ve been employed at my job for just over 7 years with the last 4 being in a 1st line manager position. My boss’s boss’s boss (3 levels above me in the org chart) made several advances towards me during a work trip in addition to several advances locally pre-trip that led to me reporting him for sexual harassment. This was August 2024 of first report. My report led to an investigation that placed him on admin leave while it was ongoing. Things quickly elevated to involve Corporate HQ after the local investigation grew to dozens of females also coming forward with similar accounts. Fast forward to Spring 2025 and our company decided to offer employment a resignation”buyout” to help with a company restructuring and reorganization. Somehow…he was allowed to take the buyout and receive full retirement and benefits;even while in this investigation was still open.
It’s now August, one year post-report , and I was just notified that Hq wrapped up their investigation and returned to our local office to conclude for action. They advised me since he took the buyout, they can’t fire him and he’s example of perfect timing. I was told if he didn’t take the buyout that they’d have enough to terminate him for his actions. They are still in process of determining how they’ll proceed with this part but did tell me they can’t outright say anything about his investigation being a matter of sexual harassment for fear of him suing them. My question is -what’s a fair expectation for me at this point? More than anything else, I want it known that he was a POS and that his actions were completely out of line. What are Hr-appropriate way of handling this for the victims to feel validated and heard since they can’t terminate him?
Jobadvisor
This is a deeply frustrating and difficult situation, and it's understandable that you feel a lack of resolution. It's especially disheartening to hear that despite a robust investigation with numerous witnesses, the company feels its hands are tied due to his resignation buyout.
Here's a breakdown of what you might reasonably expect and some potential avenues to consider.
Your Expectations and the Company's Position
Your desire for public acknowledgment of his wrongdoing is valid. You want justice to be served and for his actions to be formally recognized as unacceptable. However, the company is operating within a legal framework that prioritizes protecting itself from litigation.
The Company's Fear of a Lawsuit: When your company told you they couldn't outright say anything about the sexual harassment investigation, they're likely concerned about a defamation lawsuit from him. Even if their statement is true, proving it in court can be a lengthy, expensive, and unpredictable process. The company is likely weighing the risk of a lawsuit against the benefit of publicly validating the victims. In many cases, they choose the path that is less legally risky for them.
The "Resignation Buyout" Loophole: This is the most complex part of the situation. By accepting a resignation buyout, he essentially severed his employment relationship with the company on his own terms. This often includes a release of claims, which means he agrees not to sue the company for certain things in exchange for the buyout package. Similarly, the company often agrees not to sue him. This makes a termination—and the public statement that would come with it—legally complicated. The company may feel that even though they had grounds to fire him, the buyout agreement takes precedence and makes any post-employment disciplinary action legally difficult.
What to Expect and How to Advocate for Yourself
While the company may not make a public statement, there are still HR-appropriate ways they can and should handle this to provide a sense of validation for you and the other victims.
A Formal Statement to Victims: Ask for a formal, written statement from HR or leadership that is provided directly and confidentially to all the employees who participated in the investigation. This statement could acknowledge that the investigation was thorough, that your reports were taken seriously, and that the company is committed to maintaining a safe and respectful workplace. It won't name him or explicitly state the findings, but it can validate your experience without risking a lawsuit.
Policy and Training Updates: A company that is serious about addressing this kind of issue should use it as a learning opportunity. Ask what steps the company is taking to prevent this from happening again. This could include:
Implementing new sexual harassment prevention training for all employees, especially managers.
Reviewing and strengthening the company's reporting procedures to ensure they are clear and accessible.
Creating new policies that prevent individuals under investigation from being eligible for buyouts or other severance packages.
Support for You and Other Victims: The company should offer you and the other women involved some form of support. This might be a meeting with a senior leader or HR representative to directly address your concerns, or even access to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for counseling or support services to help process the emotional impact of the last year.
Your desire for a public reckoning is completely understandable, but it's important to separate that from what the company is legally able to do. Focusing your efforts on demanding actions the company can take—like formal internal communication, policy changes, and direct support—is a more realistic and effective way to achieve a measure of justice and validation for yourself and the other victims.
Have you considered speaking with a senior HR representative or a member of leadership to ask about what specific, concrete actions they plan to take internally to address this issue and support the employees involved?