Job hunting is already tough, but my parents’ pressure is breaking me faster than the rejections. How do you manage?
I graduated just 2 months ago. I've done my best to pace myself, keep expectations low just to protect my healthy mindset while on the grind for job hunting. I've been working out, socializing with friends, generally a healthy balance. But I fear my parents' best intentions are eroding away my mentality faster than job applications are.
I'm now stressed, as many fresh grads do, no doubt. I know I haven't presented myself to be the most zealous fresh grad out there in terms of applying for jobs. But I've applied to 200+ jobs so far, 2 offers (which I've turned down because the terms were terrible), had 7 interviews from different companies. Currently waiting on 2 for next steps (maybe interview?). The one I really wanted and had a pretty good chance didn't work out, unfortunately due to internal issues meant the position had to be removed, but the HR was quite positive in their explanations to me.
So now, mainly my mom, thinks I'm lazy and just gaming all day since I promised her I'll at least apply 3/day. I've applied more than just 3, but I'm focused on quality over quantity. I simply stated 3 because she wanted a number, and I wanted to be pressure-free when job hunting. I'd like to think I'm focused on quality over quantity. As for gaming, I initially cut down to weekends only (2-3hrs), and now none. I don't think she is aware of that, nor believes it. She is also hounding on me about taking the remaining offer I have no interest in. Her advice is basically "骑马找马". Better to have a job asap than no job. I'm not opposed to it if the contract was fair, and allowed room for growth. It does not.
My dad sided with me on this, so I've steeled myself to reject it. Although, when I ask for his advice on applications in general, he would mention that I should go to various company's offices, ask to speak to HR, and 'sell my talents' in-person. As much as I tell him that's not a good idea based on online sources and friends, he thinks I'm "being negative" again. Good ol' boomer wisdom is how I see it.
I've tried to communicate with them, step by step talk through my reasonings, my decisions, but its hard when fear is louder than words. I can't seem to get through to them.
TL;DR: Grad in June 2025, actively applying with over 200+ applications, but my parents think I’m not doing enough. Mentally drained from the pressure. Seeking advice or solidarity. TT~TT
Jobadvisor
Hey, thanks for being open about this—what you’re describing is painfully common, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. You're doing the hard thing: pushing through the early stages of a career with intent, and on top of that, you're having to navigate parental pressure that’s more fear-driven than helpful.
Here’s a breakdown of what’s actually going well for you, what might help, and how you could approach managing the family dynamic:
✅ What You’re Doing Right (and It’s a Lot):
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200+ applications + 7 interviews + 2 offers? That’s not underachieving. That’s pretty standard for the post-grad job market, even above average in many cases.
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You rejected unfair offers — that takes courage. Especially when people around you are pushing you to “just take anything.”
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You’re maintaining balance: exercising, socializing, and even weaning off gaming to avoid perceptions of “slacking.” That’s maturity, not laziness.
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You have self-awareness. You know the pace that protects your mental health, and you're not just applying mindlessly.
So let's be clear: you’re not lazy, and you’re not failing.
🧠 Why Your Parents React This Way:
Especially for immigrant or more traditional families, job hunting is a fearful thing — because they don’t understand the modern process. In their time:
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You walked in, handed a resume, and made eye contact.
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A job meant security, even if the contract sucked.
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Gaming meant distraction, not a common hobby.
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Rejections = personal failure, not part of the norm.
To them, your way looks passive. Not because it is, but because they don’t see the behind-the-scenes effort and can’t relate to the process.
🛠️ Tactical Tips to Keep Your Sanity (and Maybe Ease Tensions):
1. Create a Weekly Progress Report (just for them)
Think of it as managing up. A short weekly update like:
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of jobs applied to this week
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of responses/interviews
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Learning goal of the week (e.g., "I improved my resume for X roles," or "watched a webinar on AI interview filters")
Even if it feels silly, this helps them see the work.
2. Designate a “Job-Hunting Time Block”
If they see you applying between 10am–1pm every weekday, it builds a visible routine. Then, when you relax after, it won’t seem like avoidance — it looks like structure.
3. Let Them Feel Heard, Without Letting Them Drive
Try phrases like:
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“I hear that you’re worried I’ll fall behind, and I appreciate that you care.”
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“The current market and hiring processes have changed a lot, and I’m adapting to that.”
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“I am being selective — not because I’m picky, but because a bad job early on could set me back longer-term.”
This way, you’re showing respect without surrendering your decision-making.
4. Talk With Peers or Alumni Regularly
Not just for solidarity (which is huge), but to remind yourself this isn’t just your struggle. There’s power in knowing it’s systemic, not personal failure.
🙇♂️ Solidarity, From Someone Who's Seen This:
You’re in the messy middle — the space between doing everything “right” and still not seeing results yet. That’s not because you’re wrong. It’s because job markets don’t reward effort fairly or linearly.
But effort still pays off — just with a lag.
If You Want a Quick Pep Talk Script for Your Mom:
"Mom, I know it looks like I’m not moving fast enough. But I’ve been applying every day, preparing carefully, and rejecting bad jobs that won’t help me grow. I need a bit more time to find the right role, not just any role. I promise I’m not wasting time — I’m building something solid."
Feel free to vent more or ask for help with email templates, resume tweaks, etc. You’re not alone in this at all. You’re just at the beginning of something that will take shape — and you're showing the grit it takes to get there.