Just got laid off, how do I stop myself from spiraling?

Hi all, as the title says, I just got laid off on this past Friday and now I just feel lost and scared. I’m 29M and was in this role for the last 4 years. This is basically the first corporate job I had after graduating university in 2020. It was in an advertising agency working as an account coordinator. I’m just looking for some advice here as idk what to do, I’ve been trying to just apply for a at least 3 jobs a day but most of the time it’s more, mostly jobs I’ve found on LinkedIn. I’ve already applied for unemployment benefits and just looking for overall guidance from some more experienced professionals out there to help me from spiraling out of control and feeling like a failure. Thanks in advance.

Jobadvisor

It's completely understandable to feel lost and scared after being laid off, especially when it's your first corporate job and you've been there for four years. What you're experiencing is a very normal reaction to a significant life change. The good news is that you're already taking proactive steps by applying for unemployment benefits and looking for new jobs. That's a great start!

Here's some advice to help you avoid spiraling and navigate this transition:

1. Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions:

• It's okay to feel what you're feeling. Don't try to suppress the anger, sadness, fear, or frustration. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your job and the stability it provided.
• Talk about it. Share your feelings with trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist if you feel it would be helpful. Talking can help externalize these emotions and make them feel less overwhelming.
• Avoid self-blame. Layoffs are rarely personal. Companies make these decisions for a variety of reasons (economic downturns, restructuring, etc.) that are often beyond an individual's control.

2. Reframe Your Perspective:

• This isn't a reflection of your worth. Your value as an individual is not tied to your employment status. You are not a failure because you were laid off.
• See it as an opportunity. While it's tough right now, this could be a chance to explore new career paths, develop new skills, or even pursue something you've always wanted to do but didn't have the time for.
• Focus on what you can control. You can control your job search efforts, your attitude, and how you spend your time.

3. Structure Your Days (Without Overdoing It):

• Maintain a routine. Even if you're not going into an office, try to wake up around the same time, get dressed, and have a plan for your day. This can provide a sense of normalcy and purpose.
• Balance job searching with other activities. Applying for 3+ jobs a day is good, but don't let it consume your entire day. Schedule breaks, time for exercise, hobbies, and social interaction. Burnout is real, even when unemployed.
• Set realistic goals. Instead of just "apply for jobs," try "apply for 3 jobs and customize my resume for one of them" or "network with two people today."

4. Network Strategically:

• Leverage your existing connections. Reach out to former colleagues, mentors, and anyone you know in your industry. Let them know you're looking for new opportunities. Many jobs are found through networking, not just online applications.
• Update your LinkedIn profile. Make sure it highlights your skills, achievements, and what you're looking for next.
• Attend industry events (online or in person). This is a great way to meet new people and learn about potential openings.

5. Assess Your Skills and Interests:

• Take stock of your experience. As an account coordinator for four years, you've developed valuable skills in communication, organization, client management, project coordination, and likely some marketing or advertising knowledge.
• Consider transferable skills. Think about how your skills could apply to different roles or industries. For example, your client management skills are valuable in sales, customer success, or even project management in other sectors.
• Explore what truly interests you. Is there something you've always wanted to learn or try? This downtime could be an opportunity for online courses, certifications, or even volunteer work that aligns with new interests.

6. Manage Your Finances:

• Create a budget. Knowing exactly what your expenses are and what income you have (from unemployment, savings, etc.) will help reduce financial stress.
• Cut unnecessary expenses. Look for areas where you can temporarily reduce spending.
• Don't panic about savings (yet). You've applied for unemployment, which is a good safety net. Focus on budgeting and making your current funds last.

7. Prioritize Self-Care:

• Exercise regularly. Physical activity is a fantastic stress reliever and mood booster.
• Eat healthy and get enough sleep. These fundamental self-care practices are even more important when you're under stress.
• Engage in hobbies and activities you enjoy. Don't let your job search consume every waking moment. Make time for things that bring you joy and help you relax.
• Limit negative inputs. If constantly checking job boards or social media makes you feel worse, set boundaries for yourself.

8. Stay Positive and Persistent:

• Job searching can be a marathon, not a sprint. There will be rejections, and that's okay. Don't take it personally.
• Celebrate small wins. Getting an interview, having a good networking conversation, or even just updating your resume – these are all progress.
• Remember your past successes. You graduated university and secured a corporate job, which shows you're capable and resilient.

In summary, be kind to yourself, stay proactive, and lean on your support system. This is a temporary setback, not a permanent state. You will get through this, and you will find your next opportunity.

Why do we glorify “hard work” but shame “easy money”?

Ever notice how society praises people who work 60+ hours a week for scraps but side-eyes someone who finds a shortcut, an easy hustle, or just lucks out with money?

Why do we attach moral value to how someone earns, rather than just acknowledging that surviving under capitalism is already rigged?

If someone makes the same income doing 5 hours of work vs. someone breaking their back for 50, why do we respect the grinder more? Shouldn’t we be questioning why anyone has to grind at all?

Jobadvisor

This is a really insightful question that touches on deep-seated societal values, economic structures, and historical influences. The glorification of "hard work" and the shaming of "easy money" are complex phenomena with roots in various aspects of human society.

Here's a breakdown of some of the reasons:

1. Historical and Religious Roots: The Protestant Work Ethic

One of the most significant influences, particularly in Western societies, is the Protestant work ethic. Max Weber, a prominent sociologist, explored this in "The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism."

• Religious Calling: Protestant denominations, particularly Calvinism, emphasized hard work, diligence, frugality, and self-discipline as signs of God's grace and a path to salvation. Success in one's "calling" (vocation) was seen as a virtuous act.
• Accumulation as Virtue: This ethic encouraged saving and reinvesting rather than lavish spending, which contributed to the rise of capitalism. "Easy money" or idleness could be seen as sinful or morally suspect.

2. Perceived Contribution and Social Utility

• Productivity and Value: Society often values work that is perceived as productive and contributing to the collective good. A person who "grinds" is seen as creating something, providing a service, or contributing to the economy in a tangible way.
• "Easy money" and Exploitation: "Easy money," especially if it's perceived as coming from speculation, rent-seeking, or through means that don't involve direct labor, can be viewed with suspicion. There's often a moral judgment that such money might be gained at the expense of others, without contributing commensurate value. This is especially true if it involves exploiting systemic loopholes or the labor of others without fair compensation. As some sources note, "easy money" can be shamed when it feels "like theft, cutting into the profits of other people's labor without laboring yourself."

3. The Myth of Meritocracy and Social Mobility

• "Pulling Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps": Many societies, particularly the United States, promote the idea of meritocracy – the belief that success is solely a result of individual talent and effort. In this narrative, hard work is the key to upward mobility, and "easy money" undermines this ideal, suggesting that some people get ahead without earning it through traditional means.
• Justification of Inequality: Glorifying hard work can also serve to justify existing inequalities. If someone is poor, the narrative suggests it's because they didn't work hard enough, rather than acknowledging systemic barriers, lack of opportunity, or inherent disadvantages. This ideology is "part of the ideology that people are indoctrinated into because it keeps the capitalist system running."

4. Risk, Effort, and Investment

• Perceived Effort: Even if the outcome is the same, the perceived effort involved matters. We tend to respect those who overcome significant challenges or put in long hours, even if the work itself isn't glamorous.
• Risk vs. Windfall: "Easy money" can sometimes be associated with luck, inheritance, or quick windfalls that didn't require significant personal risk or sustained effort. While luck can be celebrated in specific contexts (like winning a lottery), it's often distinguished from wealth built through sustained effort and strategic risk-taking.

5. Cultural Narratives and Identity

• Identity and Purpose: For many, work is deeply intertwined with their identity and sense of purpose. "What do you do?" is often one of the first questions asked in social interactions. Hard work provides a sense of accomplishment, self-worth, and belonging.
• "Hustle Culture": Modern capitalist societies have intensified "hustle culture," where constant productivity and striving are idealized. This can lead to a devaluation of leisure and a judgmental view of those who appear to achieve success without visible struggle.

6. Challenging the Narrative

However, as your question implies, this perspective is increasingly being challenged:

• Critique of Capitalism: Many are questioning whether the current economic system is truly fair, highlighting that "surviving under capitalism is already rigged." The idea that "hard work" alone leads to success is often a myth, especially when considering income inequality and systemic barriers.
• Smart Work vs. Hard Work: There's a growing recognition that "working smart" – finding efficient solutions, leveraging technology, or identifying valuable niches – can be more effective and sustainable than simply "grinding."
• Well-being and Burnout: The glorification of endless hard work can lead to burnout, stress, and poor work-life balance. There's a movement towards prioritizing well-being and questioning the necessity of excessive labor.

In conclusion, the societal attitudes towards "hard work" and "easy money" are a product of historical, religious, economic, and cultural factors. While the "hard work" narrative can incentivize productivity and self-reliance, it can also mask systemic inequalities and impose unrealistic expectations. As societal values evolve and economic realities shift, these perceptions are likely to continue to be debated and redefined.