Should I tell my boss my aging, toxic coworker is a large part of why I’m leaving?

 I work in a very small office (5 ppl are there on a good day). I’ve been really unhappy at my job for the past year, and it’s really accelerated since my 67-year-old coworker started. I like her to some extent as a person, but as a coworker, she’s absolutely toxic and is not capable of learning new tasks. I try hard to ignore the more dysfunctional aspects of my job (and they are numerous) because, well, I need a job. She highlights all of these dysfunctional traits and complains about them CONSTANTLY. She’s one of the most negative, paranoid ppl I’ve ever worked with. She also is not super capable anymore, so I get her work because ppl don’t trust her to do it. I know if I told him her toxicity is making me quit, he’d fire her. Here’s the thing: she’s facing a lot of ageism in job hunting, and if she loses her job, there’s a very good chance she won’t find another. As a deeply empathetic person, I’m not sure I could deal with her being fired bc of me. She wants desperately to retire, but she says she can’t afford to do it. So I’m thinking of just quitting and not saying why. What would you do?

I talked to them. I had nothing to lose after I secured my references there. They were apparently already going to fire her at the end of the month anyway. I feel better. My boss is glad I talked to him first.


Yes. Do it.

I did.

I told the owner the reason I was leaving was because of that Evil Manager (EM).

J, N, and I left because of EM. He then got angry, not with me, but with that, he lost two good people because of her and now me.

He later told me to take the new job offer and to see if he could fix the situation with EM.

I went to my new job, liked it and didn't go back to the old job. I told the owner and he said it was fine but he would also be taking care of EM.

What I heard (coworker at the meeting), they had a meeting with EM. They gave all the statements J, N and I turned/reported in.

Well EM was red with anger. She then said she was going HOME! Well, this gave the owner a better opportunity to ask other people. And yes more victims came out. He called her but she said she QUIT and wasn't coming back!

So YES. Tell them you are leaving because of that horrible person.

Because of me, reporting EM, that company actually became better and less stressful.

EM wasn't able to apply for Unemployment (she quit and was recorded saying it) and had burned a huuuuge bridge in such a small industry.

The only thing is… from my understanding is that if she applies to any other future job, her current/last employer cannot disclose anything except PayRange and length of time at that job posting. They wouldn’t be able to be “candid” about her work performance to potential future employers because it can be considered libel. Though honestly not sure. That’s what they tell me at my current job. When my staff leaves, I’m not even able to provide a reference, my employer tells me to direct any reference phone calls to HR and that they can only state the length of time they were there and the salary/rate of pay. They can’t even disclose whether or not they’d be able to hire that person back or whether or not they left on bad terms with their last employer.

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