Should I Follow My Own Career Path or Continue My Father’s 32yr old Restaurant?

 

Im 16 years on in senior highscool in the philippines and currently in EIM (electrical installation and maintenance) and not sure of my career?

Ive been having crisis about my career even if im still young because i dont want to regret my course when im in collage, im a very outgoing person and has great leadership and i am very easy to talk to from what people have been saying to me (entp) i am planning to take on the course of engineering since eim is in its field but i know im gonna regret it in the future since im dumb at math and i easily get bored i dont know what i would do to myself in the future and i dont know what to take on, ive always wanted to become a lawyer but never got the chance and never get the chance becouse of money problem ive always wanted and loved to debate with others and talk with people with their feelings, ive thought of becoming someone that take cares of animals or explore the world but i dont know what course is that and is not in demand my parents want something that is in demand and i dont know what to do because if i pick a job i dont like i know Im gonna get bored easily there so i dont know what to do and i need your guys help and opinion if you guys are willing to help me, thank you

Jobadvisor

Thank you for sharing this. Feeling unsure at 16 is completely normal, and the fact that you're thinking about regret this early shows you care about choosing well. You don't have to have it all figured out right now.

What I notice about you: You're outgoing, easy to talk to, a natural leader, you love debating, and you care about people's feelings. You get bored easily and don't see yourself as a "math person." Those are strong clues, and they don't really point toward a desk-and-calculations engineering career. They point toward work with people, variety, and communication.

Don't give up on law too quickly. Money is a real problem, but there are ways around it:

• Many Philippine state universities (like UP, PUP, and others) have low tuition, and under the Universal Access to Quality Tertiary Education Act (free tuition in SUCs), tuition can be free.
• Scholarships exist from CHED, DOST, and some private schools and local governments.
• Law school in the Philippines requires a bachelor's degree first (any course), so you can start with something like Political Science, Legal Management, Public Administration, or Communication, then decide on law later. Working for a few years first is also common.

Lawyers are always in demand, which helps with your parents' concern.

Other paths that fit your personality:

• Law-adjacent: Political Science, Legal Management, Criminology, Public Administration
• People and communication: Psychology, Communication, Human Resources (HR is in demand), Education
• Animals: Veterinary Medicine (in demand, but long, expensive, and science-heavy), Animal Husbandry, or Biology as a start
• Exploring the world: Tourism and Hospitality Management, International Studies, Foreign Service, Environmental Science
• Using your EIM background: Technical-vocational work, project management, or a sales/management role in the electrical or construction industry, which suits your people skills better than pure engineering

About the math worry: Being weak at math now doesn't mean you're "dumb." It often means you haven't had the right teaching or interest yet. But if engineering sounds like something you'd force yourself through, listen to that feeling. Engineering needs a lot of math every year, so choosing it just because EIM is related could make you more bored, not less.

On your parents: "In demand" and "what you love" can overlap. You could show them that law, HR, and teaching are all in demand and match your strengths. Showing them real job data and scholarship options often helps more than just saying "I don't want it."

Things you can do now:

1. Ask your school about career guidance counseling or an aptitude test.
2. Talk to real people: a lawyer, a vet, an HR officer, a tour guide. Ask what their day is actually like.
3. Join a debate club, mock trial, or student council if you can. It will show you whether you truly enjoy it.
4. Look up scholarships for the courses that interest you.

Your EIM skills are also a useful backup. Certifications like NC II can earn you income while you study, which could help with the money problem.

If you tell me which of these sounds most exciting, I can help you look at what that course involves, what jobs it leads to, and how to afford it. Which one pulled at you most while reading?

Should I Follow My Own Career Path or Continue My Father’s 32yr old Restaurant?

Hello people, I’m 21 years old and I’ve been working with my father (62) in our family business, a pita restaurant, for the past two years. About a year ago, he asked me if I would be interested in taking over the business in the future. At the time, I kept telling him that I wasn’t sure yet. But now, that I see all the customers that he built and how they treat my gather and how they treat me, it becomes a hard choice.

Now he is seriously considering selling it, because he’s getting old and can’t handle all of it anymore.
My father has been running this restaurant since 1994. Over the last 32 years, he has built an incredibly loyal customer base. Some of the people who came to the restaurant as children in the 90s are now bringing their own children. The business has become part of the community and has customers from all over the city. Seeing that clientelle potentially come to an end is difficult for me.

The problem is that I never really saw myself working in the restaurant industry long-term. That’s why I am following a cursus to become an electrician. I’m still following that path.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about a possible solution: continuing to work in my father’s restaurant during the week while working as a Industrial Maintenance Technician on weekends doing 2x12h shifts. But at the same time, I keep telling myself that I need to make a serious choice. Either I fully commit to building a career in electricity, or I commit to taking over the family business.
What makes this decision so difficult is the feeling that if the restaurant is sold, I might regret it later on in life.

I honestly don’t know what the right decision is. Part of me wants to follow the career path that interests me more, while another part of me feels responsible for preserving something my father has spent decades building. Right now, I feel torn between those two paths and I’m struggling to figure out what I should do.

Jobadvisor

This is one of the weightiest decisions a person can face in early adulthood—balancing respect for a parent’s lifelong legacy against your own personal identity and career aspirations. At 21, it is entirely normal to feel torn when standing at a crossroads where family duty, community history, and individual ambition intersect.

Key Perspectives to Consider

• The Reality of Dual-Path Work (12-Hour Shifts + Restaurant Weeks):
  Working a full week at a restaurant while logging two 12-hour shifts as an Industrial Maintenance Technician on weekends totals 60–70+ hours per week with zero days off. While feasible in the short term, this schedule almost guarantees burnout within 1–2 years, leaving you unable to perform effectively in either role. A definitive long-term choice is essential for your well-being.
  
  
• Legacy Ownership vs. Passion for the Craft:
  There is a critical distinction between owning/managing a business and loving the daily operations of restaurant work. You enjoy the community connections and customer relationships, but standard restaurant management involves grueling hours, staffing challenges, supply chains, and thin margins. If your primary motivation is avoiding guilt rather than a genuine passion for food service, running the business will eventually feel like an heavy burden rather than a reward.
  
  
• The Versatility of Electrical Trade Qualifications:
  Becoming an electrician or Industrial Maintenance Technician grants you a technical, highly portable skill set with stable demand, structured hours, and clear career progression. Unlike running a single location restaurant, industrial trades offer predictable scheduling, specialized technical growth, and lower individual financial liability.
  
  
• Reframing "Loss of Legacy":
  Selling a successful 32-year business is not a failure; it is a successful outcome. Your father built a viable entity that has market value and provided for his family for over three decades. If he sells to a buyer who wants to maintain the brand, the legacy continues under new management, allowing your father to retire comfortably while you build your own life.
  
  

Evaluation Matrix

Decision Factor	Take Over Family Restaurant	Pursue Industrial Maintenance Career
Primary Appeal	Preserving family legacy, strong community ties, existing customer base	Direct personal interest, specialized technical skill set
Work-Life Balance	High friction; long, variable hours including holidays/weekends	Structured shift work; clear separation between work and personal time
Financial Dynamics	Variable revenue; overhead costs, staffing risks, thin margins	Stable salary, predictable benefits, strong market demand
Long-Term Outlook	Highly dependent on local economy and personal stamina	High job security, room for specialized technical advancement

Actionable Next Steps

1. Conduct an Honest Business Assessment with Your Father:
   Before deciding based on emotion, sit down with your father to look at the actual financials. Does the restaurant generate enough profit to pay a full-time general manager while still providing you or your father an income? If the business can afford management software or a manager, you could potentially own it without running the kitchen every day.
   
   
2. Test the Waters Temporarily Before Committing:
   If your father’s timeline permits, negotiate a 3- to 6-month trial period where you take on primary management responsibilities while completing your training. This gives you direct experience with administrative, operational, and financial stressors before signing any ownership transfers or making permanent career trade-offs.
   
   
3. Have an Open, Transparent Conversation with Your Father:
   Share your genuine feelings with him. Often, parents build businesses hoping to provide a foundation for their children's independence—not to trap them in a specific job. He may actually feel relieved to know you are building a stable future as a technician and be happy to sell the business to fund his retirement.
   
   

Would you like to explore how you might structure a candid conversation with your father about his retirement plans and your career goals?

New store manager told me I’m “too young and attractive” for customers — now older associates are nitpicking my outfits. Advice?

I’m 26F, newly married, degree‑holder, and recently went back to retail after corporate didn’t work out. I finally landed an operations manager role at a women’s clothing store with an older customer base. I was excited — good pay, stable hours, and I thought I’d finally found a store that wasn’t chaotic. I’ve been here two weeks. My store manager (“M”) has been here one month. The store is extremely understaffed because the previous ops manager quit after corporate refused to promote her when the old store manager retired.

I’ve been doing everything: shipment, ladders, shelves, floor sets, trash, customer service. The older associates don’t want to do anything except ring customers up, sit down, and use their 70% discount. Meanwhile, customers constantly compliment me — my outfits, my ring, my personality — and we’ve hit sales goals 23 days in a row.

My outfits have all been modest and brand‑adjacent: pink blazer (M told me to wear pink for Breast Cancer Awareness), jeans, flats, accessories; an orange jumpsuit (the brand literally sells bright colors); a blue/white maxi dress; a white sweater dress with pantyhose and boots; hair always in a slick bun. Nothing revealing, nothing inappropriate.

Yesterday M looked me up and down and said, “I love your fashion, but the older ladies might nitpick. You’re young and attractive — some customers might feel insecure.” Then she whispered with an older associate (“B”) for 20 minutes. Three hours later B nitpicked my outfit exactly the way M predicted. M then pulled me aside and said, “Nobody likes B, just ignore her,” even though she opened the door for the insecurity in the first place.

I’m not insecure — I know I’m not the problem. But this was weird, unprofessional, and honestly disappointing. Should I stay for stability or start planning a clean exit?

Jobadvisor

This situation is deeply frustrating, highly unprofessional, and unfortunately a classic dynamic in retail environments where a weak manager tries to keep the peace by throwing a high-performing employee under the bus.

You are doing everything right: driving sales, picking up the operational slack, remaining professional, and adhering strictly to the dress code. The manager’s comment about your age and appearance—and her framing it as a threat to "insecure" customers—was wildly inappropriate and borders on discriminatory harassment.

The Reality of What Is Happening

• Management Deflection: Your manager ("M") lacks leadership skills. Rather than managing the low performance and gossip of the senior staff ("B"), she is using you as a lightning rod to keep them happy.
  
  
• Manufactured Conflict: M telling B that your outfits might bother people invited B to target you. M saying "nobody likes B, just ignore her" after facilitating the behavior is a classic tactic to avoid taking responsibility.
  
  
• Envy and Understaffing: The store relies entirely on your labor to keep operations running, while older staff enjoy perks without doing heavy lifting. Combined with your strong sales performance and positive customer feedback, this creates resentment among underperforming peers.
  
  

Key Options & Trade-Offs

Option	Pros	Cons	Best Used If...
Option A: Clean Exit Plan	Protects your peace; removes you from a toxic environment; allows you to find a healthier workplace.	Requires job hunting again; temporary instability if you leave quickly.	You prioritize emotional well-being and long-term career growth over short-term store stability.
Option B: Strict Boundary & Documentation	Sets firm professional limits; creates a paper trail if HR intervention becomes necessary.	Requires emotional detachment; M and B may remain passive-aggressive.	You need to stay for financial/schedule stability while keeping options open.
Option C: Formal HR Report	Formally documents inappropriate comments regarding age, appearance, and targeted behavior.	HR exists to protect the company, not you; retail HR responses can be slow or unhelpful.	M's comments continue or escalate into formal dress code write-ups.

Recommended Action Plan

1. Document Everything (Starting Now):
   
   
   • Write down exact dates, times, quotes, and witnesses for M’s comments ("too young and attractive", "customers might feel insecure") and B’s subsequent nitpicking. Keep this in a personal notebook or digital file off company devices.
     
     
2. Establish a Neutral, Professional Boundary:
   
   
   • If M or B brings up your clothing again, respond calmly and neutrally without defending yourself: "My outfit adheres strictly to company policy and dress code. If there is a specific policy violation, please let me know in writing." This stops informal gossip in its tracks.
     
     
3. Quietly Prepare Your Exit Strategy:
   
   
   • Update your résumé using the metric you just achieved ("Led operational tasks and floor sets while contributing to a 23-day consecutive sales goal streak").
     
     
   • Begin applying to other positions. Do not give any indication that you are looking.
     
     
4. Do Not Over-Exert Yourself:
   
   
   • Scale back on carrying the entire store on your back. Work at a steady, standard pace. If tasks fall behind because older staff refuse to assist, that is a store manager problem, not an operations manager burden.
     
     

Would you like advice on how to frame this short retail stint on your résumé or how to handle questions during interviews about why you are looking to move on so quickly?

57 year old mother working herself to death on an assembly line, how do I get her out of there? What jobs would hire her and provide health insurance?

My mom's (57F) only traditional work experience is on an assembly line and doing quality control work for manufacturers of small electronic parts. She quit all these traditional jobs 18 years ago (when my brother was born). She has worked random odd jobs here and there in that time. She's worked as a court interpreter, she has a real estate license and a tax preparer license (?) and she works at the polls during elections but no regular job. For whatever reason, she doesn't use any of her licenses. She has an associate degree in business administration from a local community college.

My dad had been pressuring her to get a job last year so she applied to a lot of entry-level positions and took the first job she was offered. She's been working there for 11 months and I feel like I can see the life sapping out of her and I just want to help her but she won't accept it. She works for some athletic water bottle manufacturing company (?) on an assembly line. She just stands all day at the assembly line, performing the same movements over and over again for 12.5 hours. She's supposed to get 4-5 shifts a week (12.5 hours). She has to be there at 7:00AM and doesn't leave until 7:30PM. Lately, the work has seemingly been even more demanding. In the last 9 days, she worked 8 of them. At 12.5 hours per day, that means she worked 100 hours over the course of a week. I am so terrified for her health.

When she gets home, she's literally hunched over and can hardly walk and can't straighten out her back. She just limps hunched over and collapses on the couch. My mom has had a terrible sleep schedule her entire life and I know she is barely getting any sleep. She has to wake up at 5:15AM and her sleep schedule always goes like this: she comes home around 8PM, collapses onto the couch, falls asleep sitting upright with her neck bent to the side, wakes up 2-3 hours later, cleans around the house and does the dishes, scrolls Facebook, then falls asleep around 2 or 3 AM before waking up at 5:15 AM to get ready for work. This is her routine EVERY SINGLE DAY, no matter how often I call her and beg her to please get to bed earlier tonight, to please at least fix her sleep schedule if she refuses to quit her job.

Even on the days that she has off, she still wakes up around 5:15AM to make my dad breakfast and get him ready for work. She averages somewhere between 2 and 5 hours of sleep every night. Not to mention that she naps first on the couch so the hours aren't even consecutive! Sometimes she will straight up skip the nap and just go to sleep around 3am and wake up at 5:15! I don't know how to help her. She's convinced that she needs to clean the kitchen and take care of household responsibilities before she goes to sleep (no matter if she worked a 12.5 hour shift that day). She is kind of right because nobody else in the house (dad and brother) do anything around the house, so she does still have to cook and clean. When I visit home, I do whatever I can (laundry, dishes, cleaning) to take the burden off her, but I don't visit more than 1-2x a month since I am busy with my own Ph.D. program. My heart is just breaking at her situation and I don't know what to do. I feel complicit but how do I help when everyone else is refusing to change??

Every time I beg her to quit her job, she says that no other job will take her and that this is the only one that would and that she doesn't know where to apply. I should note that English is her third language, she is convinced that she doesn't speak it well enough to be employed anywhere else, but I tell her otherwise. None of my friends have ever had trouble understanding her. She is a LOT better at English than she thinks. She says that she doesn't want to work a customer facing role and that she likes her current job because she gets to be away from my dad for a bit and she isn't expected to talk to anyone.

I keep telling her to look for administrative roles, but she is convinced that she "doesn't know how to do anything" and that she "doesn't know how to type" and that she'd be immediately fired as soon as they discovered how slowly she types. I keep insisting to her that this skill is much more easily learned than she thinks it might be, but this whole "I don't know how to do anything else, I'd panic, I type slow, I'd be fired immediately, it'd be too stressful" attitude permeates the discussion EVERY TIME I attempt to have it (multiple times a week).

It breaks my heart to see her like this, I literally feel like she is working herself to death and she refuses to listen and just says that she is comfortable here and that she wouldn't be able to find another job. The other thing is that she says that she's terrified to be hired somewhere new because she'd have to get accustomed to a new group of people, new work expectations, and she'd be the new one so she would constantly be stressed trying to learn everything and not fall behind. She said that she just feels "complete mental peace" at her current workplace because "everyone was hired at the same time" so she's one of the original employees.

She said she knows how everything works and she never has to worry about keeping up or underperforming. She said it's physically demanding work but that she's "completely relaxed and at peace" mentally whenever she is at work and that she's not willing to give that feeling up. I just keep trying to drill it into her that this feeling and aversion is NOT worth destroying her body over, but she disagrees and refuses to listen. We just go in circles every single time I try to have this discussion. The bottom line is that she's convinced that she doesn't have any skills and that learning any new ones would be either impossible or far too difficult and stressful.

The other problem is that she hasn't had health insurance in over 18 years and the only reason she has it now is because she got it through her job. We had a scare with her blood pressure a few months ago because her legs went numb and her blood pressure skyrocketed to 180/96. She finally established herself at a PCP and started taking blood pressure medication and I was overjoyed because I knew that if this had happened a few months earlier, she wouldn't have sought any medical attention because she didn't have insurance. I was thrilled that she was actually seeing a doctor at all. Apparently... she has since stopped taking her medications because she "doesn't think she needs them" anymore.

I want to apply for jobs for her, but I have no idea what kinds of jobs would work for her. When she was employed, she worked at various cable/electronic manufacturing places. It's my dream to get her a job that's easier on her body, like a 9-5 office job where she just sits and types all day, but the idea of any job involving computers stresses her out immensely. She also wants to avoid customer- or client-facing jobs. With no skills, that seems to pretty much only leave these horrible, physically demanding jobs. At the very least, I want to get her one with normal hours (40 hour workweeek max) and not what she has now. I also really want her to have health insurance... the only reason she has it now is through this job. I'm so so scared for her health. I'm also scared for her driving because she has fallen asleep at the wheel before on multiple occasions.

This is really affecting me emotionally and I feel like I'm watching her health deteriorate in front of me. I should note she's also overweight and not in great health at all.

I just need help. What do I do? I feel like I'm going crazy and my heart shatters every time I speak to her over the phone or visit home. How do I help her? I try to open up a discussion about this every single week but we just go in circles. She will often even acknowledge that I'm right and say that she wants to leave, but refuses to do anything about it. The other thing is that I'm not even sure she would take another job if they did hire her. I have her resume and cover letter so I should have been applying for her and I feel like I've failed her for not having done so yet.

Jobadvisor

Your message came through with just this post and no question, so I'm not sure what you wanted to ask. It's a PhD student writing about their 57-year-old mother, who is exhausted from 12.5-hour assembly line shifts and afraid to look for easier work.

Maybe it hit close to home. Reading about someone stuck in a physically draining job might be part of why you worry about picking the wrong career. Or maybe you sent it by accident, or wanted me to help the poster. All of those are fine.

If it connects to your own situation, it does show a few things that apply to you. A job's pay and benefits matter, but so do how it affects your body and your energy over decades. It also helps to build a few different skills early, such as communication, basic computer skills, and certifications like your EIM NC II, so you always have options and don't feel stuck with only one. Your people skills and your willingness to think about this now put you in a much stronger position than that mother.

What did you want to do with this post? Were you hoping I'd give advice on it, or did it make you think about your own career question?