New Job Offer?
Hello everybody, I just need a little bit of guidance because I am having second thoughts about my career. My partner and I just moved out of state for a job offer for him. I applied as an accounting specialist at a smallish business. I got the job offer today. The pay is decent and has good benefits. But I’m struggling with whether or not I want to continue the accounting career path. My last position I was a revenue auditor for a casino. I don’t want to say I disliked it because it wasn’t terrible all the time but I was super busy and started to bring work home with me. Meaning I would stay up super late thinking about what ifs or I missed something. The stress was becoming so overwhelming.. I started dreaming about my job and waking up panicking about things I may have messed up. I don’t want that to happen again and/or ruin my mental health. My partner can afford our life by himself but I don’t like to be provided for completely so I said I would at least get a part time job. I’m really struggling on what I should do.. any advice to help make the decision easier? Should I accept the job offer since it could be totally different than my last position or look for something maybe I would love to do?
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you're carrying a lot right now — a move, a new place, and a decision that feels bigger than "take the job or don't." That makes sense, especially with what you went through as a revenue auditor. Waking up panicking about work isn't a normal cost of doing a job well; that's a sign the role was taking more from you than it should have.
A few things that might help you think this through:
This job isn't automatically the same as your last one. "Accounting specialist" at a smallish business is a different world from revenue auditor at a casino. Casino auditing tends to come with tight deadlines, regulatory scrutiny, and high stakes around discrepancies — that's a specific kind of pressure, not something inherent to all accounting work. A smaller company often means fewer layers of oversight, less audit-style urgency, and sometimes more reasonable hours. It's worth finding out more before assuming it'll feel the same.
Separate "accounting" from "that specific job." Sometimes what burns us out isn't the field itself but a particular environment — the culture, the workload, the stakes, a boss who didn't protect boundaries. It might help to ask yourself: was it the audit work that got to you, or the audit conditions (understaffed, high-stakes, always feeling watched)? If it's the latter, a different accounting role could genuinely feel different.
You don't have to decide "forever" right now. You said you wanted at least a part-time job — that already tells me you're not trying to overcommit while you're still getting settled. You could take this job as a "let's see how it feels" without treating it as a life sentence. If a few months in it starts creeping into your sleep and your sense of self the way the last one did, that's useful data, and you'll have more freedom to pivot since your partner's income gives you a safety net most people don't have.
A couple of questions worth asking before you decide:
- What does the workload actually look like — is there a busy season, and how intense does it get?
- Is this role hourly and boundaried, or does it expect you "on call" mentally the way auditing did?
- Does anything about the interview process or the manager's tone give you a read on the culture?
If you want, I can help you draft some questions to ask before accepting, or think through what a "part-time, low-stress" alternative path might even look like if you decide accounting isn't it right now.
Feeling lost between my current job & changing careers?
I'm Burmese currently working one of the EMS companies in Thailand. My position is QC and Japanese-speaking is required for my job. But, I don't really do full-time QC work. Since our customers are Japanese and my main part is supporting as an translator. The difficult part is that i have to communicate between Japanese customer and my Thai coworkers. My coworkers are not very comfortable with English and my Thai-speaking is still limited! I'm not blaming them at all. I understand that English is not their native language and mine is not perfect either! During meetings, i often have to translate from Japanese from Thai or English. Sometimes, I hv to use simple Thai or broken English just to make sure everyone understands. Honestly, I've been exhausting as hell especially when the discussion involves technical or quality-related issues.
After doing this job about a year, I'm starting to feel lost. I don't know whether I should focus on learning Thai until i can speak fluently and continue developing my current career, or prepare to move into a completely different field.
I'm currently studying CS at UOP cuz I'm planning to work as software engineer or another IT-related field. However, I also need a company that can support my visa and work permit in Thailand. So, I can't simply quit my current job and start over without a realistic plan!
So should i improve my Thai and stay in my current role or focus on preparing for a new career? After graduating, how realistic is it for a foreign junior to find a job with visa support in Thailand
I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who has changed careers living abroad, especially anyone working in IT-related field.....
Jobadvisor
Step 1: Fix Your Current Stress (Short-Term Strategy)
- Improve basic conversational and technical Thai: You do not need native fluency, but mastering 50 to 100 job-specific manufacturing and technical Thai phrases will drastically lower your daily friction. Focus strictly on vocabulary related to defect reports, meetings, and QC sign-offs.
- Leverage translation tools for meetings: Don't rely solely on live interpretation. Request meeting agendas in advance, translate key technical terms beforehand, and use shared visual aids (charts, written specs) so you aren't forced to explain complex technical ideas purely verbally in real time.
- Set boundaries: You were hired for QC with Japanese language support, not as a full-time certified simultaneous interpreter. Politely communicate with management when linguistic misunderstandings risk quality errors.
Step 2: Transitioning to CS & Visa Realities in Thailand
- 2 Million THB in registered capital per foreign employee.
- A quota ratio of 4 Thai employees for every 1 foreign worker.
YOUR RECLASSIFIED PROFILE
[ CS Degree ] + [ Japanese Speaking ] + [ EMS/QC Context ]
│
┌─────────────────────────┼─────────────────────────┐
▼ ▼ ▼
BOI Companies Japanese Tech Firms Tech Hubs/Agencies
(Waived quota rules) (Huge demand for JP speakers) (Agoda, Accenture, etc.)
1. Target Japanese Tech Companies in Thailand
2. Target BOI-Promoted Companies
3. Large Multinationals
The Recommended Action Plan
| Timeline | Focus Area | Key Action |
| Months 1 – 6 | Survive & Stabilize | Build basic factory-floor Thai. Keep your visa stable while progressing through UoP courses. |
| Months 6 – 12 | Build Portfolio | Create 2–3 solid, finished tech projects. Combine your domain knowledge (e.g., build a QC logging tool or translation assistance app). |
| Final Semester | Targeted Applying | Reach out directly to Japanese IT firms and BOI software houses in Thailand. Highlight "Bilingual Japanese Software Engineer." |
My company wants me to interview for my boss's job before they fire him?
I got pulled into a meeting with our director and HR this week and was basically told they're planning to replace my manager.
He has no idea.
They asked if I'd be interested in his position and said they would rather promote internally than bring someone new in. It would take me from $78k to around $112k and would probably be the biggest career jump I've had.
The problem is my boss is the whole reason I'm even in this position. He hired me when I didn't have much experience, pushed for my last raise and has backed me up multiple times when things went wrong.
HR specifically told me not to discuss the conversation with him because nothing has been formally announced yet.
Now I'm sitting across from this guy in meetings every day while he's talking about plans for the next quarter and I already know there's a decent chance he won't even be here for them.
Would taking the job be normal career self preservation or am I basically helping them push out the person who helped build my career?
Jobadvisor
1. Separate the Firing from the Promotion
- His departure is already set: Management and HR have already concluded he is not staying in this role. If you say "no," they will not keep him; they will simply hire an external candidate to replace him.
- Your choice does not save his job: Turning down the role will not preserve his position—it only leaves a $34,000 raise and a major career step on the table for someone else to take.
[ Leadership Decides to Replace Manager ]
│
┌────────────────┴────────────────┐
▼ ▼
You Accept Role You Decline Role
│ │
Manager is replaced Manager is replaced
You gain $34k + promotion External hire gets the job
Team maintains continuity You work under a stranger
2. Why HR Enforced Confidentiality (and Why You Must Keep It)
- Legal & Liability Risks: If you tip him off, he may react publicly, confront leadership, or take action that leads to immediate termination for cause or legal friction.
- Your Own Employment: Breaching confidentiality with HR in a situation like this is usually grounds for immediate termination for cause. If you tell him, you risk losing your job and your reference, without actually helping him keep his.
- Premature Timing: Executive transitions can shift, freeze, or take weeks to execute. Saying something early adds chaos to a situation you cannot control.
3. How to Frame It to Yourself (and Eventually to Him)
- You can honestly tell him that management approached you, that the decision to make a change had already been finalized, and that you accepted the role to keep the team on track.
- You can express genuine gratitude for everything he taught you that made you ready for the step up.
4. Tactical Steps to Handle the Interview & Transition
- Interview with Professional Neutrality: Focus on what you bring to the role, your vision for the team, and how you will handle the operational shift. Do not criticize your current manager's performance or alignment during the interview.
- Keep Your Composure in Meetings: Treat daily work normally. Focus strictly on immediate tasks and execution rather than making long-term commitments under his name that you know won't happen.
- Negotiate standard terms: A jump from $78,000 to $112,000 is a ~43% increase. Ensure HR formalizes the offer in writing, including title, compensation, and effective start dates, before any public announcements are made.
Got offered $180k FIFO and my girlfriend basically told me not to come back if I take it?
I'm 31 and work as a mechanical engineer making about $108k AUD in Perth.
I got offered a FIFO role at a mine for just under $180k plus super. Originally I was told it would be 8 days on 6 days off, which actually sounded pretty manageable.
Then during the final call they casually mentioned that for at least the first 6 months it'll probably be 14 days on 7 off because the project is behind schedule. Mostly 12 hour days too.
My girlfriend was already nervous about the 8 and 6 roster but when I told her about the change she basically said if I accept it, I should assume our relationship is over. We've been together 4 years and were planning on buying a place together. I've got a decent amount saved toward my half already.
To make it more complicated my current boss found out I was interviewing because they contacted him for a reference. He suddenly offered me $128k and a senior title to stay, but also made it pretty clear that if I leave for FIFO and hate it in 6 months I shouldn't expect my old job back.
So now I'm looking at roughly $50k more to spend half my life at a mine, potentially lose my relationship and close the door on a job I actually like.
At the same time I keep thinking I could do FIFO for 2 or 3 years, absolutely stack money and come out way ahead financially.
Anyone here taken the big FIFO money and actually regretted it?
Jobadvisor
This is a real fork, not a fake one — worth slowing down on before the decision gets made for you by momentum.
A few things stand out from how you've laid it out:
The roster bait-and-switch is a signal, not a footnote. They quoted you 8-and-6, then quietly revealed 14-and-7 with 12 hour days for "at least" the first 6 months once you were close to saying yes. That's not a minor scheduling detail — it's a pattern worth noticing about how this employer communicates. "At least 6 months" on a project that's already behind schedule often turns into a year or more. If they're softening the truth during recruitment, when they're supposed to be on their best behavior, that tells you something about what disclosure looks like once you're actually on site and harder to walk away from.
Your girlfriend isn't being dramatic for no reason. She was already uneasy about 8-and-6. Hearing it's actually 14-and-7 with long days is a real escalation of what she'd be signing up for too — she didn't apply for this job, but she'd be living its effects. An ultimatum after 4 years together and joint plans to buy a place isn't a bluff move, it's usually someone telling you what their actual limit is. Worth having a direct conversation with her about what specifically worries her — is it the time apart itself, trust, loneliness, the unpredictability, or the relationship becoming secondary to the money — because those need different responses.
Your boss's counter has a catch too. $128k and a senior title is a strong signal you're worth more than $108k there regardless of FIFO. But "don't expect your old job back if FIFO doesn't work out" is your boss protecting himself, not necessarily a real reflection of how burned that bridge would be. People do leave and come back. Still, worth going in with eyes open that you're not entitled to a safety net there.
On "stack money for 2-3 years then come out ahead": this is the part worth being honest with yourself about. Financially, yes, FIFO at $180k vs $108-128k is a big gap over a few years. But "2-3 years" plans have a way of becoming longer once lifestyle inflation, project delays, or golden handcuffs set in — and if the relationship ends over this, that's not a cost that shows up on a spreadsheet and it doesn't reverse when the contract does.
One honest question for you: if you strip away the money entirely, does the actual day-to-day of FIFO life — the isolation, the intensity, being away that much — sound like something you'd want, or is the money the only thing making it attractive?
Is leaving a comfortable job for a high paying/high stress job worth it?
My husband currently makes $120k working fully remote with full benefits. His job is comfortable, has good work-life balance, and being remote means he can help with school drop-offs, see the kids throughout the day, and generally be much more present with our family.
He was recently approached by the owner of a company about becoming a Director. The position would be in NYC, about a 1 hour 15 minute commute each way from NJ by bus, and would come with significantly more responsibility. Salary is $200,000 plus a 5% equity after 3 years. At office 5 days a week.
He wasn’t actively looking to leave his current job, so we’re trying to figure out if the salary would actually make giving up the remote lifestyle worthwhile.
A five-day commute would mean roughly 12+ hours a week just commuting, plus transportation costs, NYC work expenses, less flexibility with the kids, and obviously more stress/responsibility at a director level.
Is leaving a comfortable job worth it for a high paying job?
Jobadvisor
This is genuinely a "run the real numbers, then run the real feelings" question, not just a pay comparison.
The math is less dramatic than the headline number. $200k sounds like a huge jump from $120k, but by the time you subtract 12+ hours a week of commuting (which is real, unpaid time, not "free"), NYC work expenses (lunches, wardrobe, maybe parking or extra transit), and the tax hit from crossing into a higher bracket, the effective gain shrinks. It's still likely more money — but probably not "life-changing" more, especially once you account for what you're paying in time and stress to get it.
The 5% equity is worth treating as a "maybe," not a sure thing. Equity after 3 years at a private company depends entirely on what that equity is actually worth — is this a company with real liquidity prospects, or could that 5% end up worth very little? Worth asking pointed questions: equity in what (options, profit share, actual shares), vesting terms, what happens if he leaves before 3 years, and realistically what the company might be worth. Without real answers, I'd treat the $200k as the number that matters and the equity as a bonus that might or might not materialize.
The bigger cost is the one that doesn't show up in a salary comparison. Right now your husband does drop-offs, sees the kids during the day, and is generally present in a way a lot of parents don't get to be. That's not a small perk — that's a specific version of family life you've built around his flexibility. Going to 5-days-in-office with a long commute doesn't just cost 12 hours a week; it restructures the shape of your family's daily life, and often the spouse at home absorbs a lot of the slack (more solo parenting, more logistics, more decisions made without him there). Worth talking through concretely: what does a Tuesday actually look like for you if he's gone from 7am to 7pm? Who does drop-off and pickup? What happens when a kid is sick?
Director-level responsibility is also a step up in mental load, not just hours. More responsibility usually means more stress that follows him home even on the days he is home — decisions, people managing him, things he can't fully switch off from. That's worth weighing separately from the commute itself.
A framing that might help: this isn't really "comfortable job vs. high-paying job." It's "the family life you have now vs. more money and status, with your presence and bandwidth as the trade." Some families make that trade well, especially if the money solves something specific (debt, savings goals, one of you being able to cut back). But it's worth being honest about what specifically the extra money would buy you, and whether that's worth more than what you'd be giving up.
One question that might cut through the noise: if the salary were the same as his current job, would he still want this role for the work itself? That tells you how much of the pull is the job versus just the number.
My teammate loses his temper and yells during 1:1 calls between us so I told my mgr but they aren’t going to do anything what should I do?
I have a team mate. We are devs. The project we are on is high profile and extremely stressful. A couple of months ago, my teammate and I got on a 1:1 call to debug something. I’m asking him basic debugging questions so I can understand the problem and he gets angry about it. To the point where I felt the situation needed to be diffused so I said I was asking so I could get caught up to where he was on the problem because I’m trying to help you. This calmed him down slightly but later on the call something came up about the project that sent him into a raging tirade. I was floored someone would act this way at work. It was like 10-15 minutes of him ranting non stop. After that I told my team lead what happened and that it was unprofessional and he needed to treat me respectfully going forward.
There have been multiple other small instances of issues that have come up since then where he’s been rude and belittling and unhelpful. I mostly let it roll off and pushed back when he was rude. These were annoying but not anything as a woman dev I’ve never experienced before and not directly impacting the work.
Last week we were on a call to merge some work and he absolutely lost his shit again but much worse this time. He was full on raging about everything and I kept saying I need to go and he’d say “ok ya we should go” then launch into another rage. I tried diffusing it or redirecting him but it was not possible and tbh, he was so angry I felt like if I hung up that would make his rage even worse.
This week I’ve been obviously reluctant to get on any 1:1 call with him and this is not good for team collaboration or efficiency as you can imagine. I’m now the team lead so I need to be able to interact with him. Furthermore, as I’ve started to take on more of a leadership role I’m noticing more instances of dismissal of me and ignoring my requests.
He never loses his temper when anyone else is present. He also never loses his temper on anyone else. It’s also worth noting that I’m a woman and while there are other women on the team they are the team leadership.
I told my team lead and sent her some screenshots of his slack messages. She reached out to the project EM who spoke with me this morning. She said since no one has had a direct conversation with him we have to do that first. Also she said I should record or transcribe any 1:1 call I have with him. That’s pretty much it.
I told her I did not want to ever be in a 1:1 call with him ever again during the call and that his treatment of me wasn’t only a problem of unprofessional behavior that affected me personally it was also affecting team collaboration and efficiency. I described his behavior as hostile and aggressive.
She sent me a message after she met with him that he was “unaware he was making me uncomfortable.” He definitely knew I wasn’t comfortable because he would intermittently apologize during his rants then keep on going. And he definitely knows this is not acceptable behavior and he can control it. If he didn’t and he couldn’t he wouldn’t wait until we were on a 1:1 call to unleash it. Or send it as back channel slack messages.
Despite this it seems that they still expect me to get on 1:1 calls with him and they won’t remove him from the team, no plans for EAP referral or anything else.
What do I do next?
Jobadvisor
What you're describing isn't just "difficult coworker" — the pattern matters a lot here. He never does this in front of anyone else, never does it to anyone but you, and he apologizes mid-rant while continuing, which means he has enough self-awareness and control to know it's wrong and to modulate who sees it. That's not someone who "doesn't realize" he's making you uncomfortable. That's targeted behavior, and the fact that you're a woman while the only other women on the team are in leadership is not something you're wrong to notice.
The response you got — "have a direct conversation first," record your calls, but no removal, no EAP referral, and still expecting you to get on 1:1 calls with him — is putting the burden of managing his behavior back on you, the person he's directing it at. That's a real problem with how this is being handled, not a sign you're overreacting.
A few concrete things worth doing next:
Get everything in writing, now, while it's fresh. Write a timeline of every incident — dates, what was said, who was on the call, how long it lasted, what you did to try to de-escalate. Include the Slack screenshots you already have. This protects you regardless of what happens next.
Stop having 1:1 calls with him alone. You already told them this and they brushed past it. You're allowed to hold that line yourself: require a third person on any call with him, or move to written/async communication for anything that isn't strictly necessary live. If your role requires interaction, "I'll only meet with a third person present" is a reasonable, defensible boundary — frame it plainly as being about documented workplace conduct, not personal preference.
Escalate above your team lead and EM if this doesn't move. If HR hasn't been formally looped in yet, it likely needs to be — this is now a documented pattern of repeated aggressive/hostile conduct, not a single bad day, and that's exactly the kind of thing HR exists for. Ask directly: "What is the formal complaint process here, and who owns it?"
Name the gender pattern explicitly if you escalate further. You don't have to accuse anyone of anything you can't prove, but "he does this only to me, never to male colleagues, never in front of witnesses" is a fact pattern worth stating plainly to HR — it's relevant to how this gets classified and handled.
Protect your own position as team lead. You're now in a leadership role and he's undermining that too (dismissing you, ignoring requests). That's worth flagging separately as a performance/team-functioning issue, since it gives management another lever to act on beyond just "he yelled."