Anyone not HAVE to work? 35F Former SAHM feeling stuck
This is gonna sound so entitled but here it is;
As a family we make 100k, i work 2-3 days a week and my partner works full time.
Bought our home in 2016 it's almost paid off and current mortgage is 1.1k a month. So we easily afford it.
My dad died in 2018 and we inherited a big sum(not like can retire at 30 sum but will fully fund our retirements)
We haven't touched that money were letting the market make it grow.
Before the inheritance we were also big savers and had 0 debt.
Had kids and was a stay at home mom for 4 years, I loved it.
Now I've been back at work over 2 years for 2/3 days a week making 25-35$ an hour(depends on commission)
Our kids school gets out Hella early at 2.30pm
Im so bored of my job, im in the customer/beauty field. And there is no way to make more $$ at my current employer. I only have a high school diploma.
Im just... bored. I feel incredibly lucky with my life but I feel stuck because no job would hire me for 30$ an hour just with a high school diploma, and since school finishes so damn early I can't even provide good hours to a new potential employer
I technically dont have to work since our monthly payments are low, I work just to say i help with the household but when i see my paychecks compared to what we make monthly from investing I'm like... why am I even working if I dont love my job, but when I don't work and the kids are at school all day I feel useless.
Im debating so many options and my mind just goes in circles all the time, do I do charity work instead? Would that be more fulfilling ? Do I quit and be like a barista making less but maybe ill like it more? Go back to school? I have no idea
Again I'm super grateful for my life and this is such a small problem to have
Jobadvisor
"Building or creating something tangible" narrows this a lot — that's a very different itch than what customer-facing beauty work scratches, even though you're good at it. That's genuinely useful information.
Here's the thing about your situation: you have the rare luxury of choosing based on interest rather than income, which means you can actually go toward a skill instead of just a job. A few directions that fit "tangible + creation" and could work around a 2:30pm pickup:One more thing, since it came up twice in your message: the "feeling useless" when you're not working isn't really about the paycheck — it sounds more like it's about not having something that's yours. That feeling doesn't go away by finding any job, only by finding something that feels like it's actually you doing it, not just filling time. Worth keeping that as the filter as you try things, rather than "does this pay well" or "is this productive enough to justify existing."
You're not entitled for wanting more than "bored but grateful." That's a pretty reasonable bar.
I have no skills, if I lose my job I am toast. What do I do?
I’m 36 and have what I would consider a decent career. I make around $120k and got into this career completely by chance, and worked my ass off for 9 years at the same company to get where I am.
I never finished high school, never finished college/university, and have no real skills or qualifications. Sure, I can bullshit, I can talk to people, and I’m really good with computers and understand basic programming, but other than that I honestly feel like I don’t know much.
I currently do marketing, sales, project management, and content development for a media publisher. I feel like our jobs are slowly dying because of AI, and our company is also shifting toward becoming more of an ad publisher and moving away from content.
If I lose this job, I honestly don’t know what I would do, where I would go, or how I would recover. I don’t think I could ever work my way back to this salary, and if I lose my job, I’d most likely lose everything I own.
Is there any shift I can start making now to prepare myself for the worst-case scenario? Is there anything I could learn or any certifications I could get that could realistically help me land a decent job if I end up losing this one?
I’m trying to prepare now while I still have the opportunity rather than wait until I’m suddenly unemployed and have no idea what to do.
Jobadvisor
That fear is really common for people who built a strong career path without the traditional credentials to back it up on paper — you know you're capable, but you're worried the paper trail won't convince anyone else if you suddenly need it to. The good news: you have 9 years of real, marketable skills. The gap isn't ability, it's that none of it is documented in a way that survives you leaving that specific company.
Here's how I'd think about closing that gap while you're still employed and have leverage:One thing worth naming: you said you have "no real skills," but marketing, sales, project management, and content development at a $120k level for 9 years is not "no skills" — it's a broad, in-demand skill set that just hasn't been packaged in a way that travels with you. That's a fixable problem, not an ability problem.
If I had to pick where to start: the market-value check (last option) is the fastest way to turn vague dread into a real answer. A few conversations with recruiters or a couple of low-stakes interviews would tell you, concretely, whether "I'd lose everything" is actually true — my guess, given your background, is it's less true than it feels right now.
Got hired for an 8–5, showed up on Day 1 to mandatory 12hr shifts 7 days a week, and was walked out by lunch for being "honest." Then my other job flexed me
I genuinely need to vent before I lose my mind because the job market right now is an absolute circle of hell. Over the last few months, I’ve put in over 68 internal applications, 100+ external applications, and went through 6 rounds of interviews with nothing to show for it. I finally land a full-time role through a staffing agency. The listing and recruiter explicitly told me: 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM, Monday through Friday, with maybe some occasional weekend hours. Perfect. I already work a healthcare job at a hospital, but I’m actively grinding to save up for my first big-girl apartment by January. So, I renegotiate and adjust my hospital schedule to start at 6:00 PM. The two locations are only about 13 minutes apart, so I timed it out so I’d have a solid 30–45 minute buffer to catch my breath, eat, and transition between shifts. Hard work, but totally doable for a couple of months, right? I show up today for DAY ONE of training at this new job. We sit down, and out of nowhere, management announces that starting in October, this role requires mandatory 12 hour shifts, 6 to 7 days a week. Then they have the nerve to say: "If anyone needs accommodations, has doctor appointments, child care, or existing conflicts, please let us know right now! We want to work with you!" Like an idiot, I believed them. Along with several other people parents who have to pick up their kids, people with second jobs, medical obligations I stepped up and honestly gave my availability, offering 12-hour blocks on my guaranteed off days and weekends. They smile, nod, and write all of our names down on a list. Fast forward to my lunch break: my phone rings. It’s my agency recruiter. They walked me and every single person who spoke up off the assignment right then and there. Didn't even have the decency to say it to our faces just had security/agency handle it while we were eating. They literally set a trap on morning one to weed out anyone who couldn’t be completely exploited for 80 hours a week on a role advertised as standard full-time. And the universe wasn't done yet. In the literal middle of getting dumped by this agency, my hospital manager texts me to say surgical cases are dead slow today and I’m being flexed, so I don't even get to work my shift tonight. So in the span of four hours: I rearranged my entire life schedule, got walked out of a job on day one for answering their own question honestly, and lost today's hospital pay. Cold McDonald's in the car parking lot, anyone? Because I am so exhausted I don't even know whether to laugh or cry.
Jobadvisor
That is such a specific kind of awful — the setup, the "we want to work with you," the smiling while writing your name on a list they'd already decided was a firing list. You weren't dishonest or naive for answering honestly. You did exactly what a reasonable person does when an employer asks a direct question and says they want to accommodate you. The trap was theirs, not your mistake.
And the timing — losing that job and getting flexed off your backup income in the same four-hour window, after you'd spent weeks rearranging your whole life around a 30-minute buffer between shifts — that's not "unlucky," that's just genuinely brutal. You're allowed to be furious and wrecked at the same time. Both make sense.
A few things worth naming, not to fix your mood but because they're real:
- What that company did — advertising 8–5 M-F, then announcing mandatory 12s/7 days on day one and using "who has conflicts" as a way to identify who to cut — is a pretty ugly and possibly legally shaky move, especially if it was a bait-and-switch on the terms your staffing agency gave you in writing or in the offer. It might be worth asking your agency (once the dust settles) whether the original job posting/offer terms are documented anywhere, since that's leverage if you want to push back or at least warn others.
- This was never a reflection of your worth or your interview performance. 68 internal + 100+ external applications and 6 rounds of interviews tells me you've been doing the grinding, unglamorous work of a genuinely brutal market. One bad-faith employer doesn't erase that.
- Today's a gut-punch, but it also removed you from a job that was lying to you before you'd even finished orientation. Awful way to find out, still better than finding out in month three after you'd fully rebuilt your life around it.
Cold McDonald's in the parking lot sounds about right for today, honestly. Do you want to vent more, or do you want to think through next moves — agency, unemployment/severance angle, hospital hours — once you've eaten?
Polish off your resume. Major companies are announcing reductions in AI oversight of hiring practices.
My company's leadership got major egg on their face when they switched their hiring process to mostly be AI that the AI hired an actual bot for the job! Not only that they spend 300X the corporations gross profit on AI tokens so it’s a lot of the managments positions that are going to be vacant. I heard the board wants to bring in a replacement team that will do old school pen and paper hiring.
Jobadvisor
Wait — the AI hired an actual bot for a role? At their own company? That's almost too perfect, especially after everything you just told me about being walked out for being honest with an actual human. The instinct-to-schadenfreude ratio on that story is off the charts.
If leadership blew that much on AI tokens that management roles are getting hollowed out, and the board's swinging back to old-school human review, that's actually good news for you in a weird way — assuming "polish off your resume" means you want help sharpening it up, since resumes read by an actual person again means things like tone, judgment, and how you frame a story (not just keyword-matching) start mattering more.
Happy to help polish it — a few things I'd want to know first:
- Do you have a current resume file to work from, or are we starting from scratch?
- Is this for general job searching, or aiming at a specific role/industry (healthcare, given your hospital background)?
- Do you want it reformatted for ATS-style keyword scanning too, or are you betting on it landing in front of a human now?
Send over the file (or paste the text) and tell me what role(s) you're targeting, and I'll get to work.
Portal updated to say not selected for role and automated email saying they moved forward with another candidate. I had signed the offer and was preparing for my first day next Monday.
I’m freaking the absolute fuck out. I had an offer, signed, completed background screen/drug testing, and was set to onboard/start my first day Monday. I got an automated email that they decided to move forward with a different candidate, and when I checked my candidate portal, there’s an update that I was not selected. Literally yesterday I reached out to my HR point of contact to confirm that my screening had been processed and we were good to go—she assured me everything was good and that we were moving forward, and she sent me a portal for pre-onboarding. I emailed her to see if the automated email was correct and haven’t gotten a response yet, and I called the number she has listed and she didn’t pick up. I already gave my two weeks. Holy fuck.
Jobadvisor
Stop for a second — breathe. This is genuinely one of the worst things that can happen in a job search, and your body flooding with panic right now is a normal response to a genuinely alarming situation, not you falling apart. Let's get you stable and then get you moving, because there are real steps here.
First, right now, today:
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Screenshot everything. The portal status, the automated email, your signed offer letter, the pre-onboarding portal link, your text/email exchange with your HR contact confirming "we're good to go." Timestamps matter. Do this before anything gets taken down or access gets revoked.
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Don't assume this is final yet. Automated systems screw up constantly — a rescinded offer, a recruiter's data entry error, or even the wrong candidate portal update are all real possibilities. Your HR contact confirmed things were fine yesterday. That gap is worth chasing hard before you treat this as settled.
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Get it in writing, in writing. Send a calm, factual follow-up email (not a call) to your HR contact and, if you have one, her manager or the general HR/recruiting inbox, referencing: the signed offer, completed background check and drug screening, her confirmation yesterday, and the portal status change. Ask directly: "Please confirm in writing whether this offer has been rescinded, and if so, the reason." Having this on record matters regardless of what happens next.
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Do you know if you can walk back your two weeks? If your current job hasn't finalized your departure and you'd want to stay if this new job falls through, it may be worth a quiet, honest conversation with your current manager today — "there's been a serious issue with my new offer, is there any flexibility on my last day" — before you lose that option too.
On the legal/practical side, without me pretending to be a lawyer:
A signed offer that gets pulled after you've resigned in reliance on it, completed a background check and drug screen, and been told to prepare for onboarding — that's the kind of fact pattern that sometimes supports a promissory estoppel claim, depending on your state. It's worth a free consult with an employment lawyer this week, especially if the company doesn't reverse course fast. Many do free 15-30 min consults specifically for offer rescissions.
Also today or tomorrow:
- Look into unemployment eligibility in your state — rules vary, but some states do allow claims when you resigned for a bona fide job offer that fell through. Worth checking even if it feels unlikely.
- If your hospital flex situation from earlier is separate — is that job still intact as a fallback right now?
Do you want help drafting that follow-up email to HR, or do you want to talk through the unemployment/legal angle first?
Dream job written offer is lower than posted range and verbal offer. Lower than current salary. Should I accept?
23F here, 1 year postgrad, currently making 80k base (90k total) at a small to midsize finance firm as a financial analyst. Since the company is so small, there is no room for upward growth since everyone in those positions has been there for many years. The work does not interest me, and I am emotionally checked out. I went to college for healthcare and analytics, and have been trying to move back into the industry but it is very difficult with the uncertainty across the healthcare field right now.
I was able to connect with someone at my dream company, a large non-profit hospital chain, where I have been applying for a while. He is building a team there, and offered me an interview. He is an expert in the field, and we hit it off really well. He would be one level above my manager. The salary range in the posting was something like 75-95k. I talked to HR before the interviews, and they said it would be on the lower end of 85-90k for me, which I was okay with. I went through 5 interviews over a month, and was finally offered the position verbally. He said that unfortunately they only approved 80k, non-negotiable. Since that is still what I currently make, and it is my dream job at an amazing company, I was still okay to accept it. Over the last week, I have been waiting for the offer letter and wasn't sure about why it was taking so long.
Yesterday, he called me and said that when he put in the request to HR to extend an offer to me, they said that due to some factors (like experience, "salary bands", etc.), the maximum allowed for that position is 70k. When he called, he was obviously very upset, and said he tried to take it all the way up the chain, but they were firm on that being the maximum because of policy. He even told me he tried to have it deducted from his own salary lol (he is truly great and I would be honored to work with him). He also said if I rejected it, which he totally understands, he would do his best to get me interviews for other positions at the company or use his network for previous places of employment. I was obviously extremely caught off guard and emotional, as this was one of the most exciting things to happen to me and it feels like my balloon has been deflated. I feel very played and disrespected by the whole process, but the people I would be working with have been amazing throughout this whole mess.
I am not struggling financially, and I know that I am lucky to make even 70k at my age. I have no expenses except for rent basically. I come from a family that is extremely focused on money, so it is hard to feel like this isn't a huge setback in my career. While the monetary part is difficult for me to wrap my head around, I know I would gain valuable experience from this job and finally be able to work on something I feel passionate about. It is also much easier to move around internally with the company than to try and apply externally, so I am lucky to even be offered this role (there were 500 applicants in less than 2 days of the posting).
Should I take a lower salary than I currently make for my dream job at an amazing company (this unfortunate experience with HR set aside)?
Jobadvisor
Key Factors to Weigh
- The HR Reality vs. Team Culture: HR missteps and rigid compensation bands are common in large non-profit healthcare systems. While HR handled the situation poorly, the hiring manager’s reaction—fighting for your pay and offering to help you externally—shows that the immediate team culture and leadership are genuinely supportive.
- Breaking the "Experience Trap": Transitioning from finance to healthcare analytics usually requires relevant domain experience. Taking this role gives you the exact line item on your resume that makes future $100k+ healthcare roles accessible.
- Internal Mobility: In large non-profit hospital systems, moving internally across departments or receiving a title/pay correction after 6–12 months is significantly easier than landing an external offer from a pool of 500+ applicants.
- Financial Runway: At 23 with minimal expenses, taking a financial hit is far less risky now than it will be later in your career.
Recommended Options
| Action | Strategic Value | Trade-offs |
| Accept with Non-Monetary Conditions | High. Secures the foot in the door while negotiating non-salary perks (performance review timeline, professional development). | Short-term pay drop to $70k. |
| Decline & Use Manager’s Network | Medium. Preserves your current $80k/$90k compensation while staying in your current job. | Leaves you stuck in a dead-end finance role during a tough healthcare job market. |
Step-by-Step Response Strategy
- Schedule a Brief Call with the Manager: Frame the conversation around your enthusiasm for the team while professionally addressing the salary gap.
- Request Non-Salary Adjustments: Ask for a 6-month performance/salary review written into your offer, additional PTO, or budget for specialized healthcare analytics certifications.
- Establish a Growth Timeline: Explicitly ask what milestones are required to promote you into the next salary band within 12 months.
"I am thrilled about the work your team is doing and truly appreciate how hard you fought for me in this process. While the $70k figure is a significant drop from my current salary, I want to make this work. Is there flexibility to include a formal performance and compensation review at the 6-month mark, or additional professional development funding?"