Is networking just learning to kiss the right butt without it looking like kissing butt?

I have been a public servant for 21 years now. My last promotion was 18 years ago (only cause I transferred departments).

One thing I have noticed is that people who climb management quickly is that they are very adept at following things:

1. Being visible to higher level mangers by volinteering for trendy projects or vocally supporting the high level managers at meetibgs or gatherings.

2. Supporting anything the high level mamagers wants even if it is damaging to the organisation as a whole.

3. Talking the talk ie using trendy buzzwords.

4. Never questioning what the high level managers want even if it is damaging to organisation or unethical or immoral.

Essentially be a sycophantic yes-person in a way that isn't too obvious but still strokes the jogh lr el manager's ego.

At the same time a lot of them are not good at their jobs to the point they don't meet KPIs.

I actually had a situation where a coworker was always asked to cover for our boss even though he often didn't get his work done and he occasioally openly refused to do his work unless he was provided with an assistant (which he was provided with).

But he did those 4 things above and thus was viewed as promotable. My other more quieter but more compotent colleagues were never considered. And I personally was told to shut up when I raised questions about poorly conceived decisions or unethical actions and was often ostracised as such.

So how much of networking is just subtle butt kissing?

Jobadvisor

This is a real pattern, and you're not wrong to notice it. But I'd push back a little on collapsing "networking" entirely into "sycophancy" — they overlap a lot in practice, but they're not identical, and the distinction matters for what you do next.

What you're describing isn't really networking — it's a loyalty test. In hierarchical, low-accountability environments (and a lot of public sector bureaucracies fit this), managers often promote for one trait above all others: will this person make me look good and never be a problem for me? Competence is a distant second because incompetence rarely gets punished in those systems — it just gets quietly absorbed by whoever's actually doing the work (sounds like that was you). Visible loyalty, on the other hand, gets rewarded immediately and personally, because it flatters the person doing the promoting.

That's not networking. That's patronage. It's an old, well-documented dynamic — political scientists call it "clientelism" when it happens in institutions. The buzzwords, the volunteering for trendy projects, the never-disagreeing — those are all just tells for "I will not threaten your position or make you look bad," not "I am good at this job."

Real networking, at its best, is different in one key way: it's about being known for something true — your judgment, your reliability, your actual expertise — by people who aren't just your direct boss. The reason it can look like butt-kissing from outside is that both involve visibility and relationship-building. But genuine networking doesn't require agreeing with bad decisions; it requires being someone other people want to loop in, ask advice from, or advocate for, because you've been useful and honest with them before.

The uncomfortable truth is that in the environment you're describing, that distinction may not matter for promotion. If your organization has decided that compliance is the only currency, being competent and honest is going to keep costing you, not paying off — you've already seen 18 years of evidence for that. Being told to "shut up" for raising legitimate concerns isn't a networking failure on your part, it's a signal about what that specific management chain actually values.

A few honest options, not a pep talk:

• Build lateral and external visibility, not just upward. Peers in other departments, professional associations, cross-agency projects — people who see your work directly and could vouch for or hire you elsewhere, so your reputation isn't hostage to one manager's ego.
• Pick your battles more strategically, not to become a yes-man, but because being right and insufferable about it in every meeting burns credibility you might want to spend later. There's a difference between raising a concern once, clearly, on the record, and re-litigating it every time.
• Consider whether this org will ever reward what you're good at. Eighteen years is a long time to wait for a system to change its incentives. Sometimes the real answer isn't "network better," it's "this pond has decided what it selects for, and it isn't you."

What's your actual goal right now — trying to get promoted within this same organization, or thinking about whether it's worth staying?

how do i bring up urgently needing to be paid?

undergrad here, just finished week 7 of a 10 week internship. i'm supposed to be paid every 4 weeks, but i haven't even received my first round of pay (i'm told due to a series of IT hiccups that are still being fixed). have persisted with following up with HR on this via email regularly for the past few weeks or so, and have brought it up with my supervisor multiple times, who has also been in contact with HR on my behalf.

i feel like such a dick for pestering everyone about it but i do need to be paid asap to pay for rent (which i've mentioned twice now). i'm trying really hard not to piss anyone off because this is in a (relatively niche) industry i'm hoping to work in, but i can tell they're probably getting annoyed because i've asked about this several times (i'd say every 3-4 working days) in the past 2-3 weeks.

i'm actually getting quite anxious about this because i'm running out of savings, but i don't know if i'm being overly pushy or if i'm handling this situation in the best possible way, especially as this is my first internship. any and all advice is appreciated!

Jobadvisor

First: you are not being a dick. You're seven weeks into an internship with zero pay, you've mentioned rent twice, and this is entirely the company's failure, not yours. Please recalibrate that guilt — it's misplaced and it's making you softer than the situation calls for.

A few things going on here that are worth separating:

This is very likely illegal, not just an "IT hiccup." Most jurisdictions have strict laws about timely payment of wages, and "our system is broken" is not a legal excuse that lets an employer indefinitely delay pay — it's a problem they're required to solve fast, often by cutting a manual check. Seven weeks unpaid would trigger real penalties for the employer in a lot of places. This context matters because it should change your tone from "sorry to bug you" to "this needs to be resolved."

Shift from checking in to escalating. Casual, friendly follow-ups every few days are exactly what let this drag on seven weeks — there's no urgency for them to feel. What you need now is one clear, written, unambiguous message that names the timeline, the impact, and asks for a specific action with a specific date. Something like:

Subject: Urgent — Unpaid Wages, Week 7

Hi [name], I want to flag this formally: I have not received any pay since starting seven weeks ago, despite being told payment would be every four weeks. I understand there have been IT issues, but I need this resolved urgently — I'm no longer able to cover rent and basic expenses. Could someone confirm by [specific date, e.g. end of this week] when I will be paid, and whether an interim manual payment is possible in the meantime? Happy to discuss by phone if that's easier.

Send that to HR, cc your supervisor. Putting it in writing, clearly, with a deadline, is not "pushy" — it's the bare minimum given how long this has gone on.

A few other things:

• Ask specifically whether they can do a manual/emergency payment while the "IT issue" is fixed. Most payroll systems have a workaround for exactly this situation — it's just not their default because nobody's forced the urgency yet.
• If you're genuinely close to being unable to pay rent, say that plainly, not apologetically. "I'm not able to cover rent" is a fact they need to know, not an inconvenience you're causing them.
• Check if your country/state has a labor board or wage complaint process. You likely won't need to use it, but knowing your rights changes how confidently you write that email.
• On the "niche industry, don't want to burn bridges" worry — a well-run employer will not blacklist an intern for firmly and politely insisting on being paid what's owed. If they would, that tells you something about them, not about you.

You've been patient for seven weeks. That's not pestering — that's more grace than this situation deserved. Time to be direct.

What are good career paths that AI wont take over?

I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design. I feel like a lost 20-something year old and hopeless with the career path I chose. Most job posts have requirements that require you to have an online portfolio and 2-3 years of experience. This feels exhausting. I'm tired of feeling lost...What should I pick that aligns with my skills? I have experience with Microsoft word, excel etc. I have experience with using alot of tech devices....I like to help my parents out with their phones when they need my help. Also, my parents expect me to start a career right away but they don't realize how hard it is to get a job in this day and age...What should I do? Should I start a passive income business? A new career path? Something? Advice would be appreciated. I'd love to hear your thoughts..

Jobadvisor

First — take a breath. You just graduated, you're job hunting into a tough market, in a field that AI is genuinely disrupting fast, and your parents are adding pressure on top of that. That's a lot at once. The "lost and hopeless" feeling makes sense given the pile-up, not because you've done something wrong.

Let me push back gently on the framing of the question, though, because "what career is AI-proof" is a bit of a trap. Almost nothing is fully immune — AI is creeping into law, coding, medicine, writing, everywhere. The more useful question is: what kinds of work are AI bad at replacing, and how do I position myself relative to it rather than in a race against it?

What tends to hold up better, and why:

• Work with high-stakes accountability. Someone has to be legally or professionally responsible when it goes wrong — nursing, skilled trades, healthcare, safety inspection. AI can assist, but liability keeps a human in the loop.
• Hands-on physical work in unpredictable environments. Electricians, plumbers, HVAC techs, dental hygienists — the physical dexterity + real-world variability combination is still very hard to automate, and there's a real skilled-trades shortage right now.
• High-trust, high-context human relationships. Therapy, nursing, teaching young kids, case management — jobs where the human relationship itself is the product, not just an information exchange.
• Roles that direct AI rather than compete with it. Increasingly, valuable people aren't the ones AI replaces — they're the ones who know a domain well enough to tell AI what to do, check its work, and catch when it's wrong. This is actually a place your design + tech comfort could work for you, not against you.

On your specific situation — you have a design degree, you're comfortable with software and helping people troubleshoot tech, and you like solving people's tech problems. That's a real skill cluster, not nothing. A few directions worth actually looking into rather than a blanket career change:

• UX/UI or product design — an evolution of graphic design that's more insulated (for now) because it involves user research, psychology, and iterating with stakeholders, not just producing visuals. Your degree isn't wasted here.
• IT support / systems administration — you already enjoy this informally with your parents. Entry-level IT support has a lower experience bar than most design jobs right now and can be a stable foothold while you figure out longer-term direction.
• Design ops, digital marketing, or presentation/data design — using your Word/Excel/design combo in a business context, which tends to have more entry points than "pure" design portfolios.

On the pressure from your parents: it's okay to tell them plainly that the job market and your field have changed a lot even in the last few years — that's not an excuse, it's just true, and you can say so without being defensive.

I'd hold off on "start a passive income business" as the plan — that's usually a much longer, harder road than it's marketed to be, and chasing it while anxious about direction can become its own form of avoidance. It's fine as a side experiment, not as your Plan A.

Do you want to think through which of those directions (UX/design-adjacent vs. IT support vs. something else) actually appeals to you, or are you still trying to figure out what you'd enjoy?

Anyone have experience leaving a job short staffed?

How do managers handle staff shortages? (Or like, no staff for a position?) Asking as an employee. Just accepted an offer for a new job, mostly because it’s in a field I’m super interested in. My current job is fine, pays decent, and even has a lot of perks (remote), but I don’t think it’s a good fit personality wise and what I want long term. (I’m a new grad 1 YOE)

Issue is, my job is pretty seasonal, and right now we’re in the height of our work. Normally I think there's a couple of people for my position so there’s redundancy and coverage, but one was let go start of the year, and the other went on parental leave a week ago and won’t be back for a while longer, so I’m soley responsible for about half a dozen projects. I’m not sure who will take them when I leave, at least the more physical aspects of my work. Another grad was hired, but they won’t start until beginning of September and it takes a few months to ramp up in this position anyway.

I feel guilty leaving my team in a bad spot since we’re only like 8 people to start with, and are already overworked including my manager. I’ve read all the posts about how I need to look out for myself, and yeah, I don’t really care about the company, but I like most of my team.

Tl;dr, any managers who had a sudden shortage and still pulled through? Or people who have quit at a bad time and know their team is still doing fine? And any tips on how to break it to my manager since it's definitely going to blindside him?

Jobadvisor

First, congrats on the new job — landing something in a field you're genuinely excited about, as a new grad with 1 YOE, is a real win, especially in this market. Don't let the guilt of this timing eclipse that.

Now, the honest answer: staffing gaps are a management problem, not a you problem. That's not a platitude — it's actually how the responsibility is structured. Your manager's job includes contingency planning for exactly this kind of situation: someone gets a better offer, someone gets sick, someone has a family emergency. Companies that run so lean that one person's departure creates a crisis have a staffing model problem, not an employee loyalty problem. You didn't create the redundancy gap — the layoff and the parental leave did, both decisions made above your level.

On managers "pulling through": yes, constantly, and here's how it usually actually happens once you leave: projects get reprioritized or paused, deadlines quietly slip, other team members absorb pieces temporarily, contractors or temps get brought in, or leadership finally approves the hiring they'd been putting off. It's messy and stressful for them in the short term, but companies are far more resilient to a departure than they let on in the moment — the "we can't function without you" feeling is real but almost never actually true for more than a few weeks.

On the guilt about your team specifically: it's a good sign that you care about the people, not just checking out spitefully. But notice the shape of the guilt — you're taking on responsibility for a staffing shortfall that predates your resignation and that you have no authority to fix. Two people already left the coverage gap before you gave notice. That's not something two weeks' notice was ever going to solve.

Practical ways to leave well without martyring yourself:

• Give standard notice (two weeks), possibly offer a bit more if you can afford to and it's genuinely useful — but don't feel obligated to delay your start date at the new job for this. If your new employer is flexible and you want to offer three weeks, that's your call, not an obligation.
• Document your projects thoroughly — status, key contacts, passwords/access info, where things stand, what's urgent vs. can wait. This is the single most useful thing you can do; it's worth more than staying longer.
• Be upfront and calm with your manager, ideally in person or by video, not email first. Something like: "I've accepted a position in [field] that aligns with where I want to go long-term. I know the timing is really rough given the team's staffing right now, and I want to help make this transition as smooth as possible — I'm happy to help prioritize and document my projects before I go."
• Let him react. He may be frustrated or disappointed — that's understandable given the pressure he's under, but it's not a referendum on whether you're allowed to leave. You can hold both "I feel for my team" and "I'm still leaving on schedule" at the same time.

You're allowed to prioritize your career trajectory. Feeling for your coworkers is human and speaks well of you — but it doesn't mean you owe the company a rescue.