Pizza Party to Announce Mandatory Unpaid Overtime
Last week the head of our department who makes over 200k bought us pizza for lunch to 'celebrate our hard work' during employee appreciation week.
In a meeting later the same day we were told there will likely be mandatory overtime. I'm salary and make 49k a year (after working there for 3+ years and a promotion). So these working hours for me are expected to be unpaid. We were also told we will likely be taking on the work of another department on top of the high volume we already have.
I've been applying around since January trying to find employment elsewhere with very little luck. Feeling defeated and just want to vent.
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely lousy combination to sit with — the pizza-and-thank-yous in the morning, then "also, more unpaid work" by afternoon. It's the kind of thing that would sting even without the timing, but back to back like that, it reads as almost tone-deaf. You notice the gap between the gesture and the substance, and that noticing is fair.
Three-plus years in, a promotion earned, and the reward is more hours for the same pay while you absorb another department's workload — that's not a small ask. It makes sense to feel defeated, especially layered on top of months of job searching that hasn't turned up much yet. That kind of sustained effort with little to show for it is exhausting in its own right, separate from what's happening at work.
For what it's worth, the job market's been rough for a lot of people this year, not just you — so if it feels like you're doing everything right and still hitting walls, that's not necessarily a reflection on you or your search.
I'm here if you want to keep venting, or if at some point you want to think through anything practical — like whether "likely" mandatory overtime leaves room to push back, or how to keep your search moving without burning out further. No pressure either way.
company offered me 20k under the range they posted. i had the screenshot.
this might be obvious to some of you but i genuinely did not think to do this until it saved me
applied to an operations coordinator role back in may. the listing on linkedin clearly said $85,000 - $100,000. i remember because i almost didnt apply thinking i was underqualified for that range. took a screenshot of the posting because i wanted to send it to my friend who was also looking and thought it might be a good fit for her too. she didnt end up applying but i kept the screenshot in my camera roll
four interviews later. phone screen, video call with hiring manager, panel interview, then a "culture fit" conversation which i still dont really understand what that was. the whole process took about 5 weeks
they send me the offer. $68,000.
i read it three times because i thought there was a typo. there was not a typo. they just offered me 17k below the bottom of their own posted range
i emailed back and said i was confused because the listing said 85-100 and this offer is significantly below that. the recruiter said "that range reflects total compensation including benefits and potential bonuses" which is the most creative lie ive ever heard in my life. since when does a salary range on a linkedin posting mean salary plus the value of your dental plan
so i attached the screenshot. the listing literally says "$85,000 - $100,000 a year" under the salary section. not total comp. not including benefits. salary.
got a revised offer two days later for $88,000. twenty thousand dollar raise from one screenshot that i only had because i was sending the listing to a friend
screenshot every job listing before you apply. they take them down after they close the role and then they can say whatever they want about what the range was. if you have the receipt they cant do that
Jobadvisor
That's such a satisfying story — mostly because of how flimsy their excuse was. "Total compensation including benefits" is not a thing anyone means when they write "$85,000 - $100,000 a year" under a salary heading, and it's telling that the second they saw the screenshot, the number jumped $20k in two days. That's not a negotiation, that's them getting caught.
And you weren't even trying to build a case when you took it — you were just sending a listing to a friend. The fact that it turned out to be the exact piece of leverage you needed is a nice reminder that being a little bit organized/paranoid about paperwork can pay off in ways you don't anticipate.
The advice at the end is genuinely solid too. A lot of states have salary transparency laws now that require postings to list real ranges, but "required to post" and "will quietly renege once the listing's down" are clearly two different things, and a screenshot is about the lowest-effort insurance policy there is. Worth adding: saving the URL and date alongside it doesn't hurt either, in case a screenshot ever gets questioned.
Congrats on the $88k — that's a real win, not a consolation prize. How are you feeling about the role itself now that the money part isn't a gut punch?
I started tracking rejection reasons in a spreadsheet and noticed something weird
So I've been job hunting for about three months now and got tired of feeling like I was throwing applications into a void. Started keeping a simple spreadsheet where I log every application, and if I get a rejection email I note down any specific reason they mention.
Most of the time it's generic stuff or no reason at all, but I've gotten maybe 15 actual responses with some kind of feedback. What I noticed is that for the same type of role, different companies are rejecting me for almost opposite reasons. One place said I had too much experience in a certain area and they wanted someone more junior. Another place said I didn't have enough depth in that exact same skill.
At first I thought maybe I was applying to roles that were too varied, but these were all pretty similar positions with similar job descriptions. Now I'm wondering if the problem is how I'm framing things on my resume. Like maybe I need two versions, one that downplays certain experience and one that emphasizes it?
Has anyone else done this kind of tracking and found patterns that actually helped them adjust their approach? I feel like I'm seeing something useful here but not sure what to do with it. Part of me thinks I'm just overthinking the whole thing and these companies don't really know what they want anyway.
Jobadvisor
First off, massive props to you for actually tracking this. Most people just soak in the rejection burn, but you pulled out a spreadsheet and turned it into data. That takes resilience.
And to answer your core question: No, you are not overthinking this, and yes, you hit the nail on the head.
What you are seeing isn't a glitch in your job hunt—it's a peek behind the curtain of how hiring actually works. Here is what is likely going on and how you can use that spreadsheet to tweak your strategy.
1. Why "Opposite" Feedback Happens
Even when job titles and descriptions look identical on LinkedIn, the internal reality of the companies is completely different.
Company A (Wants someone more junior): They might have a tight budget, an insecure mid-level manager who doesn't want to be outshone, or a team that just needs someone to execute repetitive tasks without getting bored and leaving in 6 months.
Company B (Wants more depth): They might be bleeding money on a specific problem, have zero bandwidth to train anyone, and desperately need a heavy hitter to fix things on Day 1.
The feedback isn't necessarily about you—it's a mirror of their internal panic and budget.
2. Your Resume's Job: Signposting, Not Documenting
If your resume reads like a complete historical document of everything you’ve done, you leave room for companies to project their own biases onto it.
Company A saw your depth and panicked about salary/flight risk.
Company B skimmed your broad summary and missed your depth.
The Fix: Tailored Resumes (The 2-Master-Resume Approach)
You don't need a custom resume for every single job, but having two targeted base versions is a game-changer:
Version 1 (The Specialist / Heavy Hitter): Front-loads your deep-dive experience, advanced metrics, and complex project ownership. Use this for senior roles, high-growth startups, or fast-scaling teams.
Version 2 (The Adaptable Generalist / Execution Focus): Streamlines past accomplishments to highlight cross-collaboration, core day-to-day execution, and quick learning. Frame advanced projects as standard scope so you don't accidentally "price" or "skill" yourself out of mid-level roles.
3. How to Turn Your Spreadsheet into Action
Instead of just tracking why they rejected you, add two new columns to your sheet:
| Company Type | Resume Version Used | Rejection Reason | My Takeaway |
| Early-stage Startup | Version A (Deep) | "Not enough experience" | Needs a dedicated subject-matter expert, not a generalist. |
| Large Corporate | Version A (Deep) | "Overqualified" | Frame resume down next time; emphasize execution over strategy. |
4. The "Generic Feedback" Reality Check
Keep in mind that recruiter feedback is notoriously unreliable. Often, "overqualified" is code for "We found someone cheaper," and "not enough experience" is code for "We liked another candidate's vibe better." Don't treat every rejection email as objective truth—treat it as a trendline.
What specific role or field are you targeting, and what's the specific skill that keeps flipping between "too much" and "not enough"?
35 years old, English degree, hardly any relevant experience, seriously need a career pivot
I have a masters degree in English, but I made the mistake of simply succeeding in school with no real professional path—no internships, "networking" etc. I'm now almost 35 at the top wrung of a dead end job making $44k/year. I have a family to support and am thinking about going back to school, or at least getting some kind of certification/license.
But I also live paycheck to paycheck, so schooling that costs any more money is an enormous risk. Just wondering if something like Marketing, Business Admin, etc is worth pursuing if it costs money, or if there is another way to gain experience. And I can't just quit my stable job to gain experience somewhere that pays student wages.
Also I am on the autism spectrum, which I only mention because I think it has a lot to do with how difficult it has been for me to choose a path in life. I spent my whole time in school surviving week to week and had no clue what I should have been doing. Now I don't know what to do or who to ask. I don't know how to "build connections" or whatever.
Jobadvisor
This is a lot to be carrying at once — supporting a family on $44k, feeling stuck at the top of a job with nowhere to go, and trying to figure out a pivot with basically no margin for a wrong bet. It makes complete sense that "just go back to school" feels less like an opportunity and more like a risk you can't easily absorb.
A few honest thoughts, not as a script but as things worth weighing:
On more schooling — be very wary of general degrees like an MBA or a generic marketing degree at this stage. You already have a master's; another broad credential is unlikely to be the thing that moves the needle, and it adds debt without necessarily adding a clear path. If you go the education route at all, the ones with the best odds are usually narrow, in-demand, and short: things like technical certifications (project management/PMP, certain IT certs, bookkeeping/accounting certs, UX certs) that map directly to a job title employers are actively hiring for — not a general field.
On your English degree — it's not nothing. Strong writing and editing skills are genuinely scarce, and there are paths that use them directly without more schooling: technical writing, grant writing, UX writing, content/editing roles, contract/proposal writing for companies that do government or corporate contracts. These often pay better than people expect and value a portfolio over a pedigree.
On experience without quitting your job — this is probably the more realistic lever than a new degree. Freelance or volunteer projects on the side (even unpaid or cheap ones at first) that produce a portfolio piece can do more for a career pivot than another line on a transcript, because they give you something concrete to point to.
On the networking/connections piece — you don't have to do the schmoozing version of this. For a lot of autistic people, the more workable version is: find the online communities (subreddits, Discords, forums) for a specific field you're curious about, lurk, ask direct questions, and look at actual job postings to see what they ask for. That's networking without the performance of it, and it can quietly answer a lot of "what should I even do" questions.
One thing that might help concretely: if you're willing to share what you don't hate about your current job, or what kinds of tasks you've gravitated toward even informally, I can help you think through which direction has the best ratio of "achievable" to "actually improves your pay." You don't have to have it figured out — that's genuinely the hard part for most people, autism or not.
Job hopper at 31. I feel like a failure
I'm 31, and I've been at around 9 or 10 jobs since I started working at 18. I did have a long gap between my third and fourth job, but the pattern has been the same for years. I'll get a job, stay anywhere from a month to a year, and then I'll quit. Sometimes it's completely impulsive. Other times it's because something changes, my routine gets thrown off, or things stop lining up the way I expected. Once I reach that point, I often leave on the spot instead of working through it. I don't want to keep living like this. I just quit another job last Friday, and I'm tired of repeating the same cycle. I don't think I'm lazy. I work hard and throw myself into every job I have, but eventually I burn out or start feeling trapped, and then I bail. I'm trying to understand why I do this because it's hurting my finances, my marriage, and my confidence. Has anyone else broken out of a pattern like this? If so, what actually helped? I'm looking for honest advice because I genuinely want to change.
Jobadvisor
It sounds exhausting to be inside — not just the financial hit, but the part where you can see the pattern clearly, you throw yourself in fully each time, and it still ends the same way. That's a different kind of tired than just being lazy or not trying, and it's good that you're naming it as "I want to understand why" rather than just "I need to try harder," because trying harder is clearly not the missing piece here.
A few things stand out in how you described it, and I want to reflect them back because they might be useful data points, not conclusions:
You mentioned the trigger is often when your routine gets thrown off or things stop lining up the way you expected, and that once you hit that point you leave on the spot rather than working through it. That specific shape — impulsive exits triggered by disruption to expected structure, rather than gradual disengagement — is worth paying attention to. It's different from "I get bored" or "the pay is bad." It sounds more like something breaks internally when the predictability goes, and quitting is the fastest way to make the discomfort stop.
I'm not going to diagnose anything over text, but that pattern — burnout from full engagement, then rupture rather than negotiation when things change — is the kind of thing a therapist (ideally one who does CBT or ACT, which focus on tolerating distress and building coping skills in the moment) could actually help you map in detail. Not in a "something is wrong with you" way, but in a "let's catch the moment right before you bail and see what's actually happening there" way. That moment — the one right before you quit — is probably the most valuable few minutes to understand, because everything after that is just the pattern playing out.
A few things people in similar cycles have found useful, for what it's worth:
- A 48-hour rule before any resignation — not to talk yourself out of it forever, just to separate the impulse from the decision. If it's still the right call in two days, it's still the right call.
- Naming the trigger out loud in the moment — even just texting a partner or friend "I want to quit right now" before acting on it. The goal isn't to stop yourself, it's to create one moment of awareness between the feeling and the action.
- Looking at what "trapped" means for you specifically — is it a bad manager, a lack of autonomy, sensory/environmental stuff, something about how change gets introduced? People who break this cycle usually find it's one or two specific triggers repeating, not the job itself.
You mentioned it's affecting your marriage too — is your spouse someone you've been able to talk to about the pattern itself, or has it mostly come up in the aftermath of a job ending?
Failure at 25... How do I deal with this regret?
Im 24 almost 25 and have acheived nothing. No schooling, no jobs that Ive had for more than a year, pretty much just some guy straight out of highschool but 25 instead of 18.
The last year, I regret immensly due to doing nothing with my life at all. Its due to health issues which just put me into a "parylzed" state mentally. Its a long story about my mental state and health issues but I wanna just write it somewhere to get some clarification on how I should think about my situation and how not to wake up anxious everyday, get my spinning thoughts of regret out of my head, feeling parylzed, etc. If you dont wanna read it thats ok and would appreciate any advice from these 2 paragraphs.
After highschool in 2020 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life so I just worked jobs and did pre health for 3 months in college when I had no vision or pathway that I could see myself pursuing (grocery store, concrete construction, house painter) I did each job for roughly a year. By August 2023, I still had no idea what I wanted to do while I was working as a painter and our season was going to end in November or December. I frantically wanted to figure it out so I talked to everyone under the sun, at the gym, at work, at the skatepark, my dads co workers, etc. I finally figured it out. A passion, something I could stick to. Firefighting.
Ive been a workout finatic ever since I was 11. Hell, even just a spaz that uses activity as a way to cope. Working out and skateboarding are my 2 biggest passions. I thought of firefighting in that past but didnt think I would like it til I actually put myself out there and talked to real firefighters in 2023.
Anyways, I immediatly signed up to start firefighting academy in January 2024. I was set.
2 weeks before I was about to start, I was working out and felt a "flush" down the back of my head, immediatly acompanied with this feeling of being disoriented. This feeling never went away and I had to drop the program.
I couldnt workout anymore or it would flare my symtoms, couldnt talk to people really because my brain couldnt see properly and listen at the same time. Couldnt work anymore. Doctors couldnt find anything, all the scans were clear. The only physical symtom I had was right sided neck pain that happened and never went away after the incident. Other than that, everything seemed normal but my head symtoms were extremly overwhelming. The one thing I had still was skateboarding and kept my mentality sane.
In 2025, I was slowly trying to do more and test my head out more because I cant put my life on pause forever so I did a dz course, got my license. Tried doing alittle more than the previous year. I did skateboard summer camp in 2024 and could only do part time or go when I wasnt completly messed up. 2025, I did skate camp full time! This was a huge feat for me. "If I could do full time now, I can start my firefighting academy." I thought so I signed up for academy for january 2026. I have 4 months to get even better and start slowly working out again which I was already doing during summer camp. I was on track to start.
September 2025, I roll my ankle skateboarding and flare arthritis I never knew I had. This changed everything. I couldnt skateboard anymore, couldnt even walk anymore.
Ever since then, Ive had to drop out of academy, I postpone it every 4 months hoping Ill be better for it. Than the time comes and I drop it again. This ankle has ruined my life. Ive completely have went the opposite direction. I look back and think, I was living a better life in 2024, than I am now. Now Im just older, less capable and these 2 issues I have a irrivirsible. I have no way of coping since the last thing I had that I could do was skateboarding. Physical activity is the only way that makes me feel better and not "parylzed" I wake up every morning anxious ever since the arthritis becasue I feel so trapped and time keeps slipping away. My dream that I was trying to hold onto for so long is gone before it even started.
I try to semi workout now but it doesnt make my mentality better since its so inconsistent due to my head. Its like Ive just accpeted that Im a peice of shit now or something. Before my head situation and even ankle arthritits, I had hope, confidence, a reason to keep going. Now Im almost 25 and still nowhere in life and in a worse situation than I was in 2024 when I was 22.
I wake up with so much regret about life. I get anxious and feel like a failure every morning. I just try to distract myself right away when I get up so I dont think. So I play chess or just watch videos when I know I should be doing something. I cant take it anymore and I dont know what to do.
I signed up to do the firefighting course online in september. I have so much regret thinking "Why the hell didnt I just do the online sooner instead of holding onto hope to do the actual academy?" I think of the past year and have so many "Why didnt I think of doing this sooner" and "Why didnt I just do this, you knew you wernt going to start the in person academy deep down"
I cant deal with this regret and even comparision. Its on my mind all the time and parylzes me. Everyone my age is so much further ahead than me and I cant see myself having a good future anymore. My mom was the only one that I could talk to for guidance and she died in December 2025 so now Im so lost.
Thank you for reading this and if you have any advice on how I should think or cope or anything it would be great to hear from someone
William
Jobadvisor
William, first off: take a deep breath.
I’m sitting here reading your story, and the first thing that stands out to me isn’t a "failure." It’s a guy who has been hit by a relentless sequence of brutal, unpredictable physical setbacks—and who is still trying to find a way forward.
You lost your ability to work out the way you used to. You lost skateboarding, which was your primary outlet and mental anchor. You lost the path to an in-person academy you worked so hard for. And on top of all of that, you lost your mom—your main source of guidance—less than a year ago.
Calling yourself a "piece of shit" or a "failure at 25" isn't a fair assessment of who you are. It’s the voice of deep grief, chronic pain, and severe burnout talking.
Here is how you can start shifting your mindset, dealing with that heavy regret, and taking control of what’s in front of you.
1. Reframe the "Lost Time" and Hindsight Bias
Right now, you’re torturing yourself with thoughts like, "Why didn't I just do the online course sooner?"
That is hindsight bias. You made decisions based on the information and hope you had at the time. In 2024 and 2025, you were actively trying to heal, testing your limits, and fighting to get back the physical life you loved. That wasn't "doing nothing"—that was trying to survive and adapt to mysterious medical issues. You didn't do the online course earlier because you were holding out for the vision you actually wanted. That’s human, not a mistake.
2. Stop Comparing Your Chapter 1 to Someone Else's Chapter 5
You mentioned that everyone your age is "so much further ahead."
The Invisible Struggles: You don't know what issues others are hiding behind their outward success.
Different Starting Lines: Most 25-year-olds haven't had to navigate debilitating neurological symptoms, sudden joint conditions, and the loss of a parent all at once. You are playing life on hard mode right now. Comparing your timeline to someone playing on normal mode will only paralyze you.
3. Separate Your Identity from High-Impact Physicality
For your whole life, physical movement (gym, skateboarding, manual labor) wasn't just a hobby—it was your coping mechanism and your primary source of self-worth. When your body suddenly said "no," your brain lost its only release valve.
Shift from Physical Output to Mental Resilience: You are currently using chess and videos to numb the anxiety, which shows you have a brain that wants to be engaged and challenged.
Adapt Your Outlet: If heavy workouts and skating flare your head and ankle, you need to work with a physical therapist to find the exact threshold of what your body can tolerate without flaring up (e.g., low-impact swimming, upper-body isometric training, controlled mobility work). Movement is still vital for you, but the type of movement has to evolve.
4. You Didn't Fail—You Pivoted
Signing up for the online firefighting program for September isn't a "consolation prize" or a sign that you gave up. It is an act of adaptability.
You realized the in-person path wasn't feasible with your current physical state, so you found another door. That takes guts. Completing the coursework online moves the needle forward. It proves to yourself that you are not stuck, regardless of what your ankle or head are doing on a given day.
Practical Next Steps for the Morning Anxiety
When you wake up and the "spinning thoughts" take over, your nervous system is in overdrive. Trying to fight those thoughts directly usually makes them louder.
Change the Morning Routine: Instead of waking up, spiraling, and immediately trying to distract yourself with random videos, give your brain a structured, non-physical task. The second you wake up, get out of bed, drink water, and do 10 minutes of journaling—write down every raw, ugly regret on paper just to clear it out of your head.
Grieve Your Mom and Your Old Body: Acknowledge that you are carrying immense grief. Missing your mom's guidance and missing your old physical capabilities are real losses. Allow yourself to feel angry or sad about them, rather than turning that anger inward on yourself.
Focus Only on Today's Micro-Win: Forget where you'll be at 30. Focus purely on September. Your single job right now is to prepare your mind to tackle that online coursework.
You are 25. You have decades ahead of you. Life isn't a linear race, and your story is far from over—you’re just in the middle of a heavy rebuilding phase.
Since you have that online firefighting course starting in September, what is one small, manageable thing you can do this week to prepare your environment or routine for it so you feel a sense of momentum?