Restaurant closure increases, related to tip fatigue?
We all blamed COVID, but I'm starting to wonder how much tip fatigue is playing into this trend? Talking to other yanks coming home from Europe, everyone acknowledges how out of hand tipping has gotten in the US, and I can now see how it's one of our worst cultural exports.
One of our last nights in Paris I swear the guy stood there waiting for a tip after handing me a pizza to-go. Wife agreed it was awkward, but I'm standing there thinking "Buddy, I don't even tip for this in the states, there's no WAY I'm tipping a well-paid French waiter for handing me a pizza box.
Anyway, could restaurant failures in the US have anything to do with tip fatigue?
Jobadvisor
How "Tip Fatigue" Harms Restaurants
- The "Total Out-of-Pocket" Shock: Diners don't evaluate a meal based on the menu price alone; they evaluate the final receipt. When a $15 burger turns into $22 after tax, mandatory "wellness fees," and a prompt asking for a 20%+ tip, consumers feel squeezed.
- Behavioral Shift (Trading Down): Customers rarely boycott dining out overnight. Instead, tip fatigue causes them to "trade down".
They switch from full-service sit-down dining (where 20% tipping is customary) to fast-casual options or takeout. - Checkout Friction at Counter-Service: Tipping prompts at counter-service venues, bakeries, and takeout spots have created consumer resentment. When customers feel guilted at checkout, it sours the experience before they even taste the food, leading to lower repeat visits.
The Real Heavyweights Driving Closures
┌── Cumulative Food & Supply Inflation (+30%+)
│
RESTAURANT FAILURE ──┼── Soaring Labor & Minimum Wage Costs
│
└── Commercial Rent & Fixed Overhead Escalation
- Food & Supply Inflation: Ingredients and utilities have risen significantly over the past few years.
- Labor Costs & Wage Growth: States raising tipped-minimum wages force operators to hike menu prices, which in turn makes the percentage-based tip feel even larger to the customer.
- Thinner Margins: The average full-service restaurant operates on a 3% to 5% net margin. A 5% drop in foot traffic—caused by customer pushback on prices and tips—can turn a profitable venue into an unprofitable one overnight.
The European Contrast
- In Europe: Service is included in the price by law (Service Compris). Staff receive a living base wage, benefits, and paid time off. A tip is a small, optional gesture for exceptional service, not a subsidy for basic payroll.
- In the US: The tipping system allows menu prices to appear lower upfront, but offloads a portion of employee compensation onto the customer's generosity.
How does one get an entry level role?
Someone help me understand.
"Go to college!" I did.
"Build a skillset with projects!!" I did.
"Build experience with internships!!!" I did.
"Get an entry level job!!!!" I tried. I get no interviews.
"Relocate!!!!!" I'm willing. I apply country wide the best I can. No callbacks.
"Get your resume looked at!!!!!!" I have. People's general sentiment is that it's about as good as it's gonna get right now.
"Pivot out of your major!!!!!!!" I can't. I'm willing. But I have no meaningful experience outside my major (computer science) besides customer service and sales. I'm sorry I dug my own grave there. I have no meaningful skillset outside the major either. I can learn, which was the point of entry level roles to begin with.
I need a job to build experience. I need an entry level job. Hell, I wasn't even looking for six figures. I wanted to make 50-65k out of school leveraging my projects internship experiences and degree.
I can't even make above 40k tbh. Retail job. In a vhcol area. I would've been a homeless beggar begging for nickels out on the curb next to the corner deli a long time ago w/o my parents. That has nothing to do with attitude, but numbers.
I can't even hear from claims adjuster, entry management jobs, etc that just want a bachelor's and some general work experience. I don't know what the fuck to do.
I'm becoming less and less surprised that the USA has 20-25% of the world's global prison population.
Jobadvisor
- Stop applying through public job portals. Mass cold-applying (LinkedIn, Indeed) currently has a response rate under 1–2% for entry-level tech roles.
- Target non-tech industries for tech roles. Skip FAANG, flashy startups, and pure software companies. Look at local/regional banks, manufacturing firms, hospital systems, school districts, and municipal government IT departments. They need software/IT people, pay $50k–$65k, and get a fraction of the applicants.
- Leverage the "Unadvertised Market" via direct outreach. Find alumni from your university on LinkedIn who graduated 2–5 years ago and work at medium-sized companies. Don't ask for a job; ask for a 10-minute advice chat about breaking in. Internal referrals bypass the ATS wall entirely.
- Repackage customer service + CS for adjacent entry roles. You aren't getting callbacks for claims adjusting or general management because your resume currently screams "I'm a software engineer who will leave the second a dev job opens." Create a version of your resume that strips out heavy code jargon and highlights conflict resolution, systems communication, and technical support. Focus on roles like Technical Support Engineer (L1/L2), Solutions Architecture/Implementation Specialist, or IT Helpdesk.
My manager made me cry 3 times in 1-on-1s, what do I do?
In the last 5 months, I’ve cried 3 times in front of my manager during our 1-on-1 sessions. I’m REALLY embarrassed and ashamed that this has happened so many times, but at the same time the feedback that he gives me & the things he says to me are sometimes very hurtful (to me, for some reason) and also taking a toll on my mental health.
The first time (several months ago) was a really bad day for me… 100% of my original team had quit the company within one month and the last person had quit that day. The feedback I received was mostly fair, just hard to hear and made me emotional. He basically told me I cannot continue to be pessimistic about the issues at the company and even if I am, I need to be not make any negative comments about it in front of the new replacement hires. Basically got told to suck it up and move on if I plan to remain at my job. Fine, whatever, understood.
The second time was because of a comment. I had previously gone to him for guidance & advice over an interpersonal issue with one of the new team members. Then in the 1-on-1 he told me if I want [something I asked for] then I have to make sure to improve on that same team member issue. So basically tying an issue that involves 2 people, that I went to him for guidance for, to *my* request. I think hearing that made me lose it a little and it hurt in the moment.
The third and most recent time has hit VERY hard. This was a proper feedback session. There was no feedback “sandwich”, it was just 40 minutes of him criticizing everything about me: from my personality, to my attitude, to me sometimes coming in 5-10 minutes late, to even my LOOKS—basically said that I “look too sad” and I’m “not friendly enough” in the mornings (only in the first 5 minutes of me getting to my desk, mind you) and that it looks like I “absolutely HATE this job” and I shouldn’t act like I hate this job, all because I’m quiet in the first 5 minutes of every day. He criticized me for taking a remote week (company policy, everyone is allowed one remote week) because I decided to travel to a fun location for it, and said “you going to this new city to travel is a lot, not something someone your age would do” even though I followed every rule, adhered to all company policies, was constantly available, responsive, and working remotely. He said I should NOT have asked him for more time for an important family obligation much later in the year, because “there might be a project and that’s more important than your sick grandparents” and because I’m young so I don’t deserve as much time away from the office, EVEN if I’m still working remotely during it. He seemed very offended that I had a really good time traveling during my remote week (despite me working the whole time) and said that because of my remote week I don’t get to ask for anything more. Several others on our team and in the company have taken remote weeks, but I am the only one getting penalized for it. The way he phrased all of these things was very condescending and insulting (e.g. “maybe no one has ever given you this feedback before so maybe you just don’t know how to act, but you need to be more friendlier in the mornings at work” and “obviously you don’t seem to ever had any vacations cancelled for work before, but this is normal at your age and you need to understand”… it’s not a vacation, it’s a family obligation during which I would be happy to work remotely).
There was absolutely ZERO positive feedback delivered during this meeting. And only about 10% of the total feedback was actually about my work product and my responsibilities. It really killed me to sit through all of this and hear myself getting torn apart, and I ended up crying a lot. I’m the only woman on my team, idk if that’s important but it feels like he would not say half of these things to my male coworkers. He also criticized my attitude when working with others on a project, and that I apparently start arguments… this one is not necessarily UNfair, but it definitely hurt to hear, and I think so many men I’ve worked with speak and behave severely worse than what I’m even capable of and they don’t seem to get any feedback on their “tone” and “opinionated comments” and “attitude”, but idk… I’m young so what would I know right?
Honestly I guess I’m looking for advice on how to think about all of this… is this normal and should I just suck it up and do as he says and pray to god that I won’t cry in front of him again? Or is this maybe a bit unfair on his end? Or am *I* the problem? How do I move on from this? I want to stay at the job for a several more months until my job anniversary, but I’m really starting to dread working with him and the rest of my team :/ I’m really disgusted that (1) I cried 3 times in front of him, and (2) I have to continue working for someone who made me cry 3 times
Any thoughts appreciated.
Jobadvisor
Decoupling the Noise from Reality
- Critiquing your physical appearance and facial expressions ("looking sad"): This is policing your demeanor, not your performance. It is a common gendered double standard (often weaponized against women as "tone-policing" or telling them to "smile more").
- Policing your personal life and age: Commenting that traveling on a compliant remote week is "a lot for someone your age," or asserting that a project is "more important than your sick grandparents" because you are young, is bizarre, controlling, and age-biased.
- Retaliation for using approved policies: You followed company rules for remote work. Penalizing you—or holding it over your head like a debt—is unprofessional power-tripping.
- Weaponizing advice requests: Holding an interpersonal conflict against you after you proactively came to him for guidance is classic bad management. It punishes transparency and trust.
How to Handle 1-on-1s Moving Forward
- Adopt the "Grey Rock" Method: Give him as little emotional ammunition as possible. Keep your tone neutral, your answers short, and your expression blank. Treat him like a difficult weather condition—something you observe calmly rather than internalize.
- Shift 1-on-1s Strictly to Work Deliverables: When he brings up personal critiques (attitudes, mornings, travel), steer it immediately back to measurable work:"I hear your feedback on team communication. Moving forward, I’m focused on finishing Project X by Friday. Is there anything specific regarding the code/deliverables you need adjusted?"
- Document Everything: Immediately after every 1-on-1, write a quick recap email to yourself (or save a private note timestamped on your personal device). Record the date, time, and specific phrases he used regarding your age, looks, or leave requests. If things escalate to HR later, you will need a paper trail.
- Disconnect Your Self-Worth from His Feedback: A good manager coaches you to succeed. A bad manager uses 1-on-1s to vent their own insecurities and exert control. Recognize that 90% of what he said in that last meeting says everything about his failings as a leader and almost nothing about your actual capability.
Next Steps for Your Career
I finally got a minimum wage part time job after over 1000 rejections and fail interview yet I felt empty and unaccomplished
Skip to TL;DR in the end if you don't want to read my long emotional paragraphs.
After 6 years of painful frustration, over 1000 rejections letter, way more times I got ghosted and over 50 interview ended in failure, I finally gotten a part time job at a Chinese Supermarket at the Produce section.
My best friend cry in happiness that I finally gotten a job and can't wait to tell other despite telling him to keep it a secret for now (he mention he struggles to keep that a secret despite holding many of my bf secret's for him with ease). That and I finally fulfill my promise to get a job to go on many overseas travel that I kept failing to fulfil my promise whether its deserve or not.
My Mom is happy and can't wait to take advantage of my employee discount for food, and is helping me find a 2nd job since its a part time job without any full time benefit (i don't want to look for a 2nd part time job now as I might work up to 40 hours per week as a part timer if others slack off)
My dad is finally proud of me for finding a job and its a huge step to adulthood and finding pride in a minimum wage job and encourage me to work harder than your employees to make sure your boss will like and promote me even though I doubt it and went on a large lecture about why current generation are lazy and ungrateful for what they are given compare to his baby boomer days.
And i finally defeated my long time childhood rival (and also my best friend as well) in beating her into getting a minimum wage part time job at the supermarket in my one sided rivalry as she congratulate me on my victory.
Yet I felt empty and depressed about upon further reflection. If this is the greatest highlight in my adult career, the job market is incredibly fucked.
So many of us Gen Z and Gen Y and later Gen Alpha when they get their turn will have to fight and scrap for a minimum wage part time job all because greedy cooperates refuse to pay us properly and keep the job scarce so they can keep the pay low for desperate unemployed people like me.
Also, being barely hired by the company after failing to qualify in the first job fair interview, came back for the 2nd job fair interview out of sheer miracle, then got surprise to do a second private interview with a manager who may not speak English and is forced to speak full Mandarin barely and is lucky enough that the manager find it endearing and hire me anyway does feel like winning at all. It feels like a hail Mary miracle where fate pities me and gave me a job to feel better about it.
That and when I do get hired I fully expect to fully be exploited, not treated well and probably get fired for all sorts of reason and my dad wants me to feel pride and loyalty to a company that might backstab me in the back when they have the reason to.
TL;DR- my friends and family are proud of me but I do not feel like a winner cause getting a part time min. wage job is not an accomplishment, its desperation to disguise my personal failure and the flaws of the job market.
Jobadvisor
That gap you're describing — everyone around you celebrating while you feel hollow — makes a lot of sense, and it's not a contradiction you need to resolve by picking a side.
A few things seem true at once here. Getting a job after six years, 1000+ rejections, and 50 failed interviews is a genuinely hard thing to have gone through, and landing something after all that is a real event, not nothing. At the same time, it's completely reasonable that it doesn't feel like the win everyone's treating it as. You went in wanting a career, or at least full-time stable work, and what you got is part-time minimum wage retail. Those are just different things, and your gut is right to notice the difference even while your friends and family are responding to the relief of "finally, something."
A few things worth pulling apart, because I think they're getting tangled together into one big feeling of emptiness:
The job itself isn't the problem you're actually grieving. What you're grieving sounds more like six years of your life you can't get back, and the gap between what you hoped for at this point and where you are. That's a loss worth acknowledging directly instead of letting it hide behind "this job isn't good enough."
The rivalry and the Mandarin interview story — I'd gently flag these as worth looking at again later, once the rawness settles. Framing it as "fate pitied me" or a "hail Mary miracle" rather than a manager taking a chance on someone who showed up twice and tried in a language that wasn't their first is one interpretation, but not the only one. Right now, exhaustion and disappointment are probably doing a lot of the narrating.
Your dad's reaction sounds like it landed as pressure rather than support, and it's fair to feel resentful about being told to be grateful and to overperform for a company you don't trust yet. That doesn't mean you have to swallow the "just get better" speech, but I'd separate his generational-lecture stuff from your own read on the job market, which — for what it's worth — isn't wrong. The entry-level job market really has been unusually brutal the last few years, especially in a lot of white-collar and even service-sector hiring; you're not just being dramatic about that part.
One honest thing worth sitting with: this job doesn't have to be the ceiling. It's an income source and a foothold while you're still figuring out the next move, not a verdict on your worth or your future. It's okay for it to feel like neither triumph nor defeat, just a placeholder that buys you time and a paycheck while you keep looking for what you actually wanted.
How are you doing right now, today, with all of this?
Old dog needs new tricks - please help!
Hi folks.
I'm in my late 50s, technically credentialed for no actual jobs outside my field (I was an academic), who now needs to earn a paycheck. I have no idea what kinds of jobs even exist out there, let alone what I might be able to get. But it seems terribly difficult to just browse open positions (by salary, for instance). I can't even come up with search terms that make any sense. I don't know what kind of job or title or sector or organization I'm looking for. I just want a job that seems like I could land, that I wouldn't hate, that would pay my bills. I know my general skills and my values, but searching for those things has left me feeling pretty stupid (and hopeless).
Any job-searching advice for someone who needs to start over in a new world and needs to explore/browse/search more inductively than everyone who is looking for a job "as" X or a job "with" Y?
Jobadvisor
Phase 1: Translate "Academic" into Corporate Speak
| What You Did in Academia | The Corporate / Industry Translation |
| Designed syllabi, taught courses, graded work | Instructional Designer, Learning & Development (L&D) Specialist, Trainer |
| Managed grants, research budgets, lab timelines | Project Manager, Program Coordinator, Grant Administrator |
| Wrote papers, synthesized complex literature | Content Strategist, Proposal/Grant Writer, Policy Analyst, Technical Writer |
| Served on committees, coordinated departments | Operations Analyst, Academic/Program Administrator, Stakeholder Manager |
Phase 2: Reverse-Engineer via LinkedIn Alumni (Skip Job Boards)
- Go to LinkedIn and search for your alma mater (or the university where you taught).
- Click on the "Alumni" tab.
- In the search bar within that tab, type keywords like
Former Professor,Left Academia,Humanities PhD, or your specific subfield. - Scroll down to see where these people work today and what their exact job titles are.
- Take note of titles that sound tolerable (e.g., "Senior Curriculum Developer," "Educational Consultant," "Institutional Research Analyst"). These are your new search terms.
Phase 3: High-Yield Sectors for Ex-Academics
- EdTech & Publishing: Companies like Pearson, Wiley, Coursera, or specialized textbook/software publishers hire academics for editorial, curriculum design, and subject-matter expert roles.
- Nonprofits & Think Tanks: Roles like Grant Writer, Development Associate, Program Manager, or Research Analyst prioritize written synthesis and project tracking over sales experience.
- Higher Ed Administration (Non-Faculty): University administrative offices—such as Student Success, Grants & Contracts, Institutional Research, or Admissions—frequently hire former faculty because you already understand campus bureaucracy.
- Government & Municipal Agencies: Local, state, or federal agencies hire Policy Analysts, Program Coordinators, and Information Specialists. Civil service exams or public employment portals (like USAJOBS) rely on structured point systems where advanced degrees carry significant weight.
Phase 4: Use Salary-First & Browse-Friendly Search Tools
- O*NET OnLine (onetonline.org): A tool maintained by the U.S. Department of Labor. Use the Advanced Search tool to browse by "Skills" (e.g., Writing, Complex Problem Solving, Instructing) rather than job titles. It shows median pay, expected growth, and typical daily tasks for every role in the economy.
- Otta (now Welcome to the Jungle): Filter roles by minimum salary, remote flexibility, and broad company mission rather than strict keyword matches.
- Indeed "Browse by Salary" / Google Jobs Filters: Search broad categories (e.g.,
"Project Coordinator" $65,000..$85,000) and use salary ranges directly in the Google search bar (e.g.,site:greenhouse.io "Education" "Remote" "$60,000..$80,000").
Being good at your job should matter more than being likeable
I think workplaces put way too much importance on whether someone is likeable. I'm not saying being likeable doesn't matter at all, but I don't think it should matter more than actually being good at your job. Someone can be quiet, reserved and not particularly social while still being reliable, respectful and competent.
Obviously, if someone is rude, refuses to communicate or makes teamwork difficult, that's different. But simply not wanting to make friends at work shouldn't automatically be treated as a character flaw. You can be perfectly polite and cooperative without being the person who's constantly chatting, joking around and getting to know everyone.
And what if you have two people who are equally competent, reliable and professional, but one is outgoing and extremely likeable while the other is quiet and keeps to themselves? If they're both doing the job equally well, why should the outgoing person automatically have an advantage? At that point, you're rewarding personality rather than performance.
This is where I think “personality hires” can become ridiculous. You can have someone who's incredibly likeable but consistently underperforming, yet because everyone loves them and enjoys having them around, their mistakes can get overlooked. Meanwhile, you've got old Johnny in the corner doing his work properly, not bothering anyone and keeping to himself, but people somehow view him as a problem because they don't know much about him.
Being social can obviously help with networking and relationships, and I'm not denying that. But personality should be a bonus, not a substitute for competence. If someone is reliable, does their work properly and communicates when necessary, I don't think they should be disadvantaged simply because they're not the person everyone gravitates towards.
Jobadvisor
Your core argument holds up well. There's a real distinction you're drawing between "likeable" as social charisma versus "professional" as reliable, cooperative, respectful — and conflating the two is where things go wrong. Someone can score low on the first and high on the second, and it's a mistake to treat that as a deficiency.
A few places worth pressure-testing, since they'd make the argument even sturdier if you're writing this up or debating it:
"Equally competent" is doing a lot of work. In practice, competence is rarely as cleanly measurable as the thought experiment assumes. A lot of jobs have real interpersonal components baked into "doing the job well" — knowledge-sharing, mentoring junior staff, being someone others can approach with a half-formed idea, smoothing over friction in a team. If "old Johnny" never talks to anyone, that might genuinely cost the team something, not just cost him social capital. So the fairer framing might not be "personality vs. competence" but "which parts of the job actually require some social output, and which don't."
Likeability often functions as a trust proxy, rightly or wrongly. People gravitate toward the outgoing colleague partly because they feel like they know that person — what they're thinking, whether they're on board, whether they'll flag a problem. The quiet colleague is an unknown quantity, and humans are risk-averse about unknowns. That's not fair to Johnny, but it's not pure irrationality either — it's a (bad) heuristic for something real: predictability and legibility. The fix isn't "ignore likeability," it's "find better ways to make competence and reliability legible" so trust doesn't have to route through charm.
The "personality hire covering for underperformance" problem is really a management failure, not a personality problem. If someone's mistakes get overlooked because people like them, that's a manager not holding people accountable — the likeability isn't the disease, it's just what the negligence hides behind. Worth separating "personality shouldn't substitute for competence" (true) from "personality is the thing corrupting evaluation" (the manager is the thing corrupting evaluation).
Where do you want to take this — is this for an argument you're having with someone specific, or more of a general gripe you're working through?
