Learn the power of the pause. Don’t clutter your listener’s mind with empty filler words and weak expressions.
If you want to sound confident, stop using language that advertises insecurity. Cut these six words and phrases from your speech.
1. “Look!”
This is usually delivered like a command. It tries to force attention and rarely signals real leadership. In fact, it does the opposite.
Saying “Look!” implies you’ve already lost the room or don’t trust your message to hold interest on its own. Speakers who bark this word are often trying too hard to sound forceful.
The fix is simple: speak with enough conviction that people *want* to listen. Use strong, grounded language instead: “I believe…,” “I’m convinced…,” “I know…,” or “My experience has shown me….” When you sound sure of yourself, others are more likely to follow.
2. “Listen!” or “Listen up!”
Commanding people to listen has the same effect as “Look!”—it reveals insecurity rather than authority.
We’ve all heard leaders say “Listen up, we’ve had a tough quarter” instead of delivering the message in a way that makes people lean in. Pairing bad news with an order only makes it worse.
Never tell your audience to listen. Present the point with clarity and strength so they choose to.
3. “What I mean is…”
This phrase announces that you just failed to say what you meant the first time.
If someone says, “We need to work smarter,” then immediately follows with “What I mean is…,” the audience often discards the original statement. It lands like a confession of unclear thinking.
Skip the recovery language. Just explain it cleanly: “We can work smarter by focusing on three things.”
4. “I’m thinking that…”
This undercuts your message by suggesting you’re still figuring it out in real time. Audiences don’t want to watch you think out loud—they want the result of careful thought.
The phrase makes you sound unfinished. Give them substance instead of the process of arriving at it.
5. “I’ll be honest…”
This one quietly damages credibility. It implies you haven’t been fully honest up to this point.
People often use it as verbal filler while they search for the next idea. Silence works better. A brief pause actually increases interest in what comes next.
6. “You know…”
Most of the time this has no real meaning. At worst, it sounds presumptuous—as if the listener already shares your view.
In a job interview, “You know, I believe I have what you’re looking for” assumes too much. Cut “you know,” along with “uh,” “er,” and “ah.”
Confidence isn’t about volume or force. It’s about clarity, conviction, and the disciplined use of silence. Remove the filler, speak with intention, and let the pause do some of the work.