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What could have been keeping me from getting hired?
What could be keeping me getting hired? I was not called back to work for the same company after I left after 10 years (circumstances). Taking into account my education, professional experience, people I knew, job search efforts, skills, the current state of the industry, I have been wondering if I am missing something.
Jobadvisor
That's a frustrating place to be — especially after 10 years with one company, since your job-search muscles may be rusty in ways that have nothing to do with your actual value as a hire.
The honest answer is I can't diagnose the specific blocker without more to go on. A few things tend to matter most:
- Resume issues — outdated format, no quantified achievements, applicant tracking system (ATS) keyword mismatches, or a resume that reads like a job description instead of showing impact
- Long tenure at one place — sometimes reads as "not adaptable" to hiring managers unless your resume actively counters that narrative
- Networking gap — after 10 years somewhere, your external network may have atrophied, and most jobs still fill through referrals, not applications
- Interview performance — being out of practice interviewing is common and fixable
- Market/industry conditions — some fields are just tighter right now regardless of candidate quality
- Targeting — applying broadly instead of tailoring to roles where your specific experience is a strong match
If you want a real diagnosis rather than a generic list, the most useful thing you could do is share your resume (or paste the text) and tell me:
- What field/role you're targeting
- How long you've been searching and roughly how many applications
- Whether you're getting any callbacks/interviews at all, or silence across the board
That last one especially changes the diagnosis — silence usually points to resume/ATS/targeting problems, while interviews-but-no-offers points to interview performance or fit issues. What does your situation look like?
How much does skipping after-work dinners hurt your career?
I work for a large company in the US, and I absolutely hate going to dinners after work. I don't mind going out for lunch, but dinner? No way. Talking to people drains my energy, so by 5 p.m. my body is begging to go back to my cozy house.
When I was an individual contributor, I skipped every single one without a second thought. I don't think it had any negative impact, since I was promoted to lead my former coworkers a year ago.
So far, I've declined three dinner invitations as a manager. The most recent one included all the senior leaders, and my name was marked as "optional" on the Outlook invitation. Once again, I didn't go.
How badly could this hurt my career in the long run?
Jobadvisor
Honestly, the impact depends a lot on level and what those dinners actually are.
As an IC, skipping was low-risk because your value was measured almost entirely by output — your work spoke for itself, and nobody was tracking your social presence closely.
As a manager, especially now that a senior-leadership dinner marked you "optional" and you still skipped, the calculus shifts a bit. A few things to weigh:
Why it can matter more now:
- Management is partly a visibility and trust game. Senior leaders often decide who gets stretch assignments, promotions, or is "in the room" for decisions based on informal impressions — and those impressions get built at exactly this kind of event, not in your 1:1s with your own reports.
- "Optional" on the invite is often optional in name only. It frequently means "we won't penalize you for missing one, but we notice a pattern."
- As a manager, you're also representing your team upward. Being absent repeatedly can (unfairly or not) get read as disengagement from the broader leadership circle, not just introversion.
Why it might matter less than you fear:
- If your team's results are strong and your peer/leadership relationships are otherwise solid (you communicate well in meetings, leaders know you and trust your judgment), one skipped dinner rarely does real damage. It's a pattern that matters, not a single instance.
- Many companies genuinely don't tie advancement to after-hours socializing, especially if that's not the culture at senior levels — some places actively try to avoid this.
A middle path worth considering, since going 100% dark on these seems to be creating some background stress for you:
- Pick your spots — attend the ones with senior leadership specifically (even briefly, an hour and leave), and skip the routine team ones.
- If dinners drain you, arrive, do meaningful face time for 45–60 minutes, then leave. You don't have to stay the whole night to get the visibility benefit.
- If it's truly about energy management, consider whether a lunch alternative or coffee catch-up with key leaders could substitute for some of what dinners provide.
If you keep declining every single one and you're in a culture where those dinners are genuinely how trust and promotion decisions get shaped, it could quietly cap your trajectory — not because anyone will say it out loud, but because "not sure I really know them" is a common unspoken reason people get passed over. Worth honestly assessing: does your company's leadership actually operate that way, or not?
My boss got fired and I interviewed for a management position. I haven’t heard a response from the interview. What are my next steps?
Industry: Retail
Story: Earlier, in July I did an interview to be an assistant manager. Four days later my store manager got fired for breaking a company policy.
Since then, three employees have left, leaving down to me and two other employees to run the store.
I haven’t gotten any feedback from the interview other than I’ll hear them soon.
Since I’ve interviewed, the Regional Manager has been in contact with me about business updates and informs me about company policies that we need to follow. (I’m guessing because my former boss broke some)
I did ask her about my status a little over a week ago and she says that she supports me, but given that I haven’t heard back. I’m worried if I’m being taken advantage of.
Other things to note:
- RM says she supports me and has seen me step up to the plate, but given the position of the store (we’re a high volume store in a tourist town), she wants me to work on me getting “developed”
- Person I interviewed with says she’ll reach out to me but hasn’t for a couple of days.
-Store is severely low staffed so I’m being hold responsible for a lot of tasks.
I’m thinking that because they (RM and the person I interviewed with) manage many other stores besides mine, they don’t see our store as a priority. But I would love to know your guys’ thoughts!
Jobadvisor
This is a genuinely tricky spot — you're carrying real responsibility right now without the title or pay to match, and the uncertainty is dragging on. A few thoughts:
What's likely going on: Retail regional managers are often juggling a dozen+ stores with their own fires to put out, so "she'll reach out soon" can easily mean genuine delay rather than a brush-off. That said, "developed" is vague corporate-speak that could mean anything from "we're building a real plan for you" to "we don't want to commit yet." Both readings are plausible, and you don't have enough info to know which it is — worth naming that instead of assuming the worse one.
Are you being taken advantage of? Possibly, even if unintentionally. Running a high-volume store with two other employees while absorbing manager-level responsibilities — without the manager title, pay, or a clear timeline — is a real imbalance regardless of their intentions. That's worth addressing directly, separate from the interview outcome.
Concrete next steps:
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Separate the two issues. Don't let "am I getting promoted" and "am I currently overworked for my pay grade" blur together. Address both, but explicitly.
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Ask for a specific timeline, not a status check. "How's it going" invites vague reassurance. Instead: "I understand you're busy, but can you give me a specific date by which I'll have a decision, even if it's just a next-step timeline?" People respond better to concrete asks than open-ended check-ins.
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Raise the workload/compensation gap directly. Something like: "I want to flag that with the current staffing, I'm handling manager-level responsibilities. I'm glad to keep stepping up, but I'd like to talk about interim compensation or a temporary title while this is being sorted." Many companies have provisions for this (acting manager pay, stipends) — it costs you nothing to ask.
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Document what you're doing. Keep a simple running list of tasks/responsibilities you've taken on since your manager left. This helps in the promotion conversation and protects you if this drags out or if the decision doesn't go your way.
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Set a personal deadline. Decide for yourself: if you don't have a real answer by [X date — maybe 2-3 weeks out], you'll escalate more firmly (asking HR, or being direct with the RM that you need clarity to plan your own next steps, including looking elsewhere). Having that internal line protects you from indefinite limbo.
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Keep doing good work, but don't over-extend indefinitely for free. Stepping up is smart short-term strategy; doing it for months with no clarity and no interim pay bump is where people get burned.
One thing worth sitting with: you're framing this as "they don't see our store as a priority" — that may be true operationally, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're not a priority to them personally. Those can be different things, and it's worth not conflating store neglect with being personally overlooked, since that could shape how anxious you feel unnecessarily.
Question about turning a job down. I don’t believe it’s worth the commute. Any thoughts?
So, I graduated college exactly a month ago and I’ve been interviewing for my first entry level job at a law firm that seems to really like me (I plan on getting into the legal industry as a career path). And I’m trying take a step back to weigh my options and see if I’m making a dumb decision or not.
The job would be a long distance 1.5 hour commute both ways with heavy traffic, 5 days (40 hours) a week. In terms of living expenses, I’m in a fortunate enough position to have parents that are very supportive of me and have no problem letting me stay with them. My only real living expense is paying my mom for car insurance monthly, but she’s told me that she’s willing to let me hold off on that until I find a job (although my bank account is looking pretty damn dry at the moment, which does stress me out a little).
For all these reasons, including some other personal obligations that demand me to have a bit more time at home, I’m deciding if I should pass up on this opportunity to find something a little closer to me. As dire as the job market is right now, I think my search has been going pretty well for only being a month in all things considered, as I’ve gotten some callbacks from other places as well in the past.
A part of me is telling myself that this is an ignorant and stupid decision, but I also ultimately have a strong gut feeling that this just wouldn’t be sustainable for me in the long run, as I do ultimately wish to prioritize my mental health right now. My parents have also vindicated that it is probably best to find an opportunity more convenient for me. I was curious if I could gain some counsel here, if possible.
I will say that if I hadn’t received this opportunity so early in my search, I’d probably be more inclined to bare the commute anyway. But as it stands, I just don’t think I’m quite desperate enough to sacrifice so much of my time when I’m in a position to find something else that could be better for me. Any thoughts?
Jobadvisor
This isn't a dumb decision. Let's actually look at the math and the tradeoffs, because I think that'll tell you more than the gut-check alone.
The time cost is real and easy to underweight. 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, is 15 hours a week — that's basically two extra workdays gone to sitting in traffic, not earning money, not resting, not doing the personal obligations you mentioned. Over a year that's around 700+ hours. "Heavy traffic" also means that commute is unpredictable, which tends to bleed into stress before you even clock in and exhaustion after you clock out. That's not a small quality-of-life tax, especially for a first job where you're also trying to prove yourself and learn a lot at once.
You're one month out of college with callbacks already coming in. That's actually a strong signal. You're not in a "take anything" market position right now — you're in a "I have some leverage to be selective" position. That matters a lot for how risky this decision actually is. Turning down a far job when you have zero other prospects is a gamble. Turning one down when you're already getting callbacks is a reasonable bet.
The financial pressure is softer than it feels. I hear that your bank account being low is stressing you out — that's a real, valid feeling. But it's worth separating "I feel financially anxious" from "I am in financial danger." You have housing covered, and your mom's given you room on the insurance payment. That's not nothing — that's actually a pretty rare cushion that a lot of new grads don't have, and it buys you real runway to be choosy for a bit longer.
The "am I being ignorant" voice is worth interrogating. Where's that coming from — is it a general "any job is better than no job" instinct, or something more specific, like guilt about turning down people who liked you? Neither one is really a reason to override your own read on sustainability. A firm liking you now doesn't mean the commute gets easier in month three when the novelty wears off.
One thing I'd gently push on: it's not fully binary. Before declining, is it worth asking about hybrid/remote days, or a flexible start time to dodge peak traffic? Sometimes firms have more give than the initial offer suggests, especially if they were keen on you. Worth a shot before you close the door, since you lose nothing by asking.
But if that's not on the table — trusting your gut here seems reasonable, not reckless. You're not desperate, you have support, and you have other leads. That's exactly the position where it makes sense to hold out for something more sustainable.
Career direction advice?
I currently work night dispatch with a security company, it’s 8 hours straight 12-8, really easy barely do anything which makes the life part of life easy once I leave. Problem is it’s only sitting at $17 a hour and they scaled back opportunities for OT so now pay is pretty tight with mortgage and utilities and debt. I know I should be doing something during the day that will bring a bigger and better opportunity in the future but I’m just not sure what or which direction to go. I’m in South Carolina too so it’s kinda behind on exciting jobs.
Jobadvisor
It is completely understandable that you are feeling the squeeze. A $17/hour wage without overtime makes managing a mortgage, utilities, and debt incredibly stressful.
The silver lining here is your current setup: an 8-hour shift where you "barely do anything" is a massive strategic advantage. You are essentially being paid to sit at a desk with an internet connection. Instead of looking for a second job during the day that will burn you out, the smartest play is to use your night shift as a paid launchpad to upskill.
While South Carolina might feel "behind" on certain trendy tech or corporate jobs, the state is actually experiencing massive, historic growth in specific, high-paying sectors. You don't need an expensive 4-year degree; you need targeted, bite-sized certifications that match where the money is moving locally.
Here are three distinct career directions tailored to South Carolina's current landscape that you can study for while on the clock at your night job.
1. Supply Chain Logistics & Dispatching
Since you already do night dispatch, you have foundational experience in tracking, communication, and coordination.
South Carolina is a massive logistics hub. Between the Port of Charleston, major distribution centers along the I-95/I-85 corridors, and massive manufacturing plants like BMW and Boeing, logistics coordinators are in high demand.
The Target Roles: Freight Broker, Logistics Coordinator, Fleet Dispatcher, or Supply Chain Specialist.
The Income Potential: $50,000 to $75,000+ per year.
How to study at night: Look into getting a Certified Supply Chain Professional (CSCP) credential or an ASCM certification. You can do the reading and practice exams right at your dispatch desk.
2. Advanced Manufacturing & Mechatronics
South Carolina is experiencing a historic boom in advanced manufacturing, particularly with electric vehicles (like the massive Scout Motors plant coming to Blythewood) and aerospace.
The Target Roles: Mechatronics Technician, CNC Programmer, or Quality Assurance Specialist.
The Income Potential: $25 to $38+ an hour ($52,000 - $80,000+).
How to utilize your schedule: Use your nights to study the theoretical side (like getting an OSHA-30 certification or studying Lean Six Sigma white/yellow belt principles online). South Carolina's Technical College System (like Greenville Tech, Midlands Tech, or Trident Tech) offers short-term, heavily subsidized certifications where you might only need to attend a hands-on lab a couple of afternoons a week.
3. IT Support & Cybersecurity (Remote or Local)
If you want to stay in a clean, indoor environment, IT is your best bet. Because you already work a night shift, you have the focus required to self-study technical materials.
The Target Roles: IT Help Desk Technician, Systems Administrator, or Junior Cyber Analyst.
The Income Potential: $45,000 to $65,000 to start, with rapid scaling.
How to study at night: Start studying for the CompTIA A+ certification. It is the golden standard for breaking into IT. Once you pass that, you can study for Network+ or Security+. There are free, high-quality video courses (like Professor Messer on YouTube) that you can watch start-to-finish during your 12 AM to 8 AM shifts.
How to Build Your Transition Plan
To avoid getting overwhelmed, don't try to figure out the next 10 years today. Just utilize the next 90 days.
Spend your next two shifts researching the three options above. Look at job boards in your specific area of South Carolina (Greenville, Columbia, Charleston, etc.) to see which of these fields has the most active job postings near you.
Since your night shift is quiet, dedicate exactly 2 to 3 hours of every single shift to learning. Treat it like a mandatory part of your job.
Look into SC WINS (South Carolina Workforce Industry Needs Scholarship). The state frequently covers 100% of tuition and fees for residents training in high-demand fields (like logistics, healthcare, and manufacturing) at local technical colleges.
Do not quit your current job until you have a signed offer letter in hand. Your current job is funding your transition; utilize its low stress level to build your future.
How to sound confident in meetings? What actually made the biggest difference?
I take a couple meetings weekly, some online some in-person. However, when I watch recordings back I always seem to come off a bit meek and unconfident.
This frustrates me since I am confident in what I am saying-- there's just a gap between my knowledge and my delivery. I wouldn't say that I'm typically a shy person or struggle with asserting my opinion, and I've tried speaking louder and slower but the impact just isn't there.
Anyone have advice on habits, practices etc. that helped them and actually transferred into improvement during real meetings? Thank you in advance!
Jobadvisor
It is incredibly frustrating when your internal confidence and actual expertise don't translate to how you look and sound on screen. The good news? Because you already know your stuff and aren't naturally shy, this isn't a mindset problem—it’s a physical and structural delivery problem.
When people try to speak "louder and slower" without changing how they construct their sentences or use their breath, it often ends up sounding forced or artificially strained, which actually increases the perception of anxiety.
The shifts that make the absolute biggest, most immediate difference in recordings boil down to three categories: structural framing, physical mechanics, and vocal hygiene.
1. Structural Framing (The "Lead with the Headline" Rule)
Meekness often isn't about how you speak, but where you put your main point. Unconfident delivery almost always features "wind-ups"—ramping up to the point with qualifiers.
The Trap (Wind-up): "So, I was looking at the Q2 data, and if we consider the delay in shipping, I think we might want to adjust the timeline, if everyone agrees?" (By the time you get to the point, your vocal energy has fizzled out).
The Shift (Headline First): "We need to push the Q2 timeline back by two weeks. Here is why..."
Starting with your conclusion immediately forces you to use an assertive, downward vocal inflection. It also hooks the room's attention instantly, so you aren't fighting to keep it while explaining your reasoning.
2. Physical Mechanics (The "Breath-Voice" Connection)
When we watch ourselves back and look "meek," it’s usually because of shallow breathing. Under mild meeting stress, we tend to speak on "residual air"—the very end of our breath. This thins out the vocal tone, makes the pitch rise, and makes us sound tentative.
The Practice: Speak only on the exhale of a full breath. Before you unmute or speak up in person, take a silent, deep belly breath. Start your first word right as you begin to exhale. This anchors your voice in your chest cavity, giving it natural resonance without you having to "force" volume.
The "One-Second" Boundary: When someone finishes speaking, count "one Mississippi" in your head before you start. This intentional pause prevents "rushed entry" (which sounds panicked) and ensures you have time to take that deep belly breath.
3. Verbal and Visual Hygiene (What to Cut)
If you watch your recordings, look specifically for these three subtle confidence-killers:
Downward Inflection vs. "Upspeak"
Upspeak is ending statements with a rising pitch, turning them into accidental questions (e.g., "We should launch on Tuesday?").
The Fix: Imagine ending your sentences with a mental period. Your pitch should drop slightly on the very last syllable of your thought.
The "Body Collapse"
In online meetings, we tend to lean forward toward our webcams, which collapses our chest and constricts our diaphragms. In person, we often lean back or fold inward.
The Fix (Online): Push your chair back slightly. Make sure your camera is at eye level (prop your laptop on books if needed). Keep your collarbones "wide" to open up your chest.
The Fix (In-Person): Rest your forearms on the table rather than keeping your hands in your lap. Taking up physical space subtly signals to your brain—and the room—that you belong there.
Eliminating Verbal Softeners
Watch your recordings and count how many times you use "permission-seeking" or softening language.
| Instead of... | Try... |
| "Does that make sense?" | "I'd love to get your thoughts on this." |
| "I just wanted to add..." | "I will add..." |
| "I'm no expert, but..." | "Based on what we're seeing..." |
| "Sorry, quick question..." | "I have a question about [topic]." |
Open your recording software or a private Zoom room. Record yourself giving a 30-second summary of one point you plan to make in the meeting. Do it exactly how you normally would.
Play it back. Did your voice pitch up at the end of sentences? Did you start with a "wind-up" like "I just wanted to say..."? Identify the exact moment your voice sounded thinnest.
Record the exact same 30-second summary again, but this time:
Take a deep breath before speaking.
Start with your bottom line.
Forcefully bring your pitch down at the end of your final sentence (commit to the period).
Note how much more grounded you sound when you watch it back.