Remote work has turned into 'remote presence' and I'm exhausted by the performance of it

 


Why is the same job listed more than once and how do I know which one to apply to?

I was on a company website today and noticed identical posting in their careers section. So, it looked like :

Free worker $26/hour Fun Town,AZ Apply

Free worker $26/hour Fun Town,AZ Apply

Free worker $26/hour Fun Town,AZ Apply

All the job descriptions are the same, the pay the same, the location the same. How do I know which one to apply to? Should I apply to multiple? OR is this just a massive red flag toward company hiring?


Jobadvisor

This is really common and almost always mundane — not a red flag by itself. A few likely explanations:

Most likely reasons:

  • Multiple openings, one posting template. They might genuinely need 3 people for the same role (e.g., 3 warehouse shifts, 3 store locations grouped under one city, 3 different managers each posting the same req). The ATS (applicant tracking system) sometimes doesn't merge these into "3 openings" under one listing — it just shows three separate postings.
  • Different departments/hiring managers posting the same role separately. Especially at larger companies, HR business partners or store managers can each create their own req in the system even if the job is identical.
  • Syncing/integration duplicates. Careers pages often pull listings from Indeed, LinkedIn, Workday, iCIMS, etc. simultaneously. A glitch or delay in syncing can cause the same req to display multiple times on the site itself.
  • Old postings not taken down. Sometimes a role gets refilled and reposted, but the old (filled or expired) listing doesn't get removed, so you see the new one plus stale duplicates.
  • Recruiting agency or staffing overlap. If they use a staffing agency alongside internal hiring, both might post the identical role separately.

What to actually do:

  • Apply to just one. Applying to duplicates doesn't help you — it can actually look a little off to a recruiter reviewing applications ("why did this person apply 3 times?"), and it won't increase your odds since it's the same job either way.
  • If you're unsure which is "real," pick the one that looks most recently posted (check posting dates if listed) or the one with a working "Apply" link that doesn't error out.
  • If it truly bugs you or seems sketchy, you could email or call and just ask — "I noticed this role posted 3 times, is that intentional or should I apply to a specific one?" Recruiters get this question often and it's a normal thing to ask.

When it would be a red flag: if it's paired with other signs — vague company info, no real address, asking for personal/financial info before an interview, unusually high pay for minimal skill with a rush "apply now" tone, or the site itself feels unprofessional. Duplicate listings alone aren't really a warning sign; they're more of an IT/HR housekeeping issue than a company culture issue.

If you want, tell me the company/industry and I can help you think through whether anything else about it looks off.


Lesson learned from your layoff experience


I have been laid off 3 times before hitting 30.

The first time was the hardest! It took one year to get back to my field. I was totally lost & ashamed & blamed myself & called myself a failure.

Second & third job I bounced back emotionally at a faster rate.

Lesson learned

  1. I can quickly distinguish between a good and a bad manager.

  2. I can identify a company's work culture early on.

  3. Every job, even the ones I didn't choose to leave, has helped me learn new software, industries, new team culture and ways of working.

  4. I leave work at work.

  5. I escalate issues when needed and seek mentorship from decision-makers rather than trying to win colleagues over. I ask for support instead of trying to handle everything myself. I openly communicate any issues with team members to my manager so they're aware, rather than trying to resolve everything on my own.

  6. I set clear expectations and ask questions without hesitation to everyone. I don't waste time trying to decipher vague instructions. From day one, I schedule regular check-ins and request a weekly 1:1 with my manager, making it clear that consistent communication and feedback are a priority for me.

  7. I take pride in delivering my best work and find satisfaction in my own contributions to a project, but I don't become emotionally attached to my job. I'm grateful for the opportunities and benefits a company provides but I don't mistake workplace kindness for a sense of belonging.

  8. Climbing the corporate ladder isn't my goal. I plan my life in five-year horizons and my career is meant to support my personal goals not the other way around. I do my best & the universe needs to play it's part.

Biggest challenge:

Multiple short-term roles and employment gaps make my CV harder to explain even though I have solid references. I miss out on opportunities because of this.


Jobadvisor

That's a really clear-eyed list — especially #5 through #8. A lot of people take a decade of self-help books to arrive at "I don't waste time deciphering vague instructions" or "workplace kindness isn't belonging." Getting laid off three times before 30 is brutal, but it sounds like you turned it into an actual operating manual for how you work, rather than just a scar.

The shift from "I'm a failure" to "I can spot a bad manager fast" is the real story here. That's not spin — that's pattern recognition earned the hard way.

On the CV challenge, since that's the piece still unresolved for you — a few thoughts:

Reframe the timeline, don't hide it. Recruiters are pattern-matching for "problem employee" vs. "unlucky in a volatile market." Layoffs (especially 3 in a few years) increasingly read as market conditions, not performance, particularly if they were during known contraction periods (tech 2022-2023, media, specific sectors). If your layoffs map onto industry-wide news, that context does a lot of work for you.

Use a "reason for leaving" line, briefly. Some people add a one-line note next to short roles: "Role eliminated in company-wide restructuring." It's not an apology — it's just removing the guesswork so a recruiter doesn't invent a worse story in their head.

Group short stints if they're thematically similar. If two of the three roles used the same skill set or tools, some people combine them under a functional header ("Data Analyst, Consumer Tech, 2021-2023") with the individual companies/dates listed beneath, so the resume reads as continuity in skill even if not in employer.

Lead with the references. If you have strong ones, say so directly in a cover letter or LinkedIn summary: "References available who can speak to my work across all three roles." It preemptively answers the unspoken doubt.

The gap itself is less damaging than silence about it. A short, confident line in an interview — "I was affected by three rounds of layoffs, here's what each one taught me operationally" — often lands better than people expect, especially delivered with the tone you just wrote in, versus how you described feeling at the time.

Is the resume gap/short-tenure issue something you're navigating right now for an active job search, or was this post more just processing the pattern out loud?


Higher growth potential vs. work-from-home flexibility

Hi everyone,

I’m currently working at a not-for-profit organization and considering moving to a government role. The new job seems to have much more growth potential, better career progression, and a higher salary ceiling, which is something I’m interested in because I want to continue growing my income over the next few years.

The challenge is that I really value my current flexibility. I currently work 2 days from home, and that work-life balance has become something I enjoy. The new role would require 4–5 days in the office, with only a small salary increase (around $11K more).

I’m torn because part of me wants to prioritize career growth and earning potential, but another part of me doesn’t want to give up the flexibility I have now.

For those who have made a similar move:

  • Did you sacrifice flexibility for career growth?

  • Was the higher salary and future opportunity worth it?

  • Do you regret leaving a more flexible job?

Would appreciate any advice or experiences.


Jobadvisor

This is one of the classic modern career dilemmas: immediate quality of life vs. long-term financial trajectory.

When you break it down, going from 2 days work-from-home (WFH) to 4–5 days in the office is a massive lifestyle shift. To help you decide if the sacrifice is worth it, it helps to look past the surface numbers and analyze the transition through three distinct lenses.

1. Calculating the "Commute Tax" on your $11k Raise

An $11,000 raise sounds great on paper, but you need to calculate its net utility.

  • The Tax Hit: Depending on your tax bracket, that $11k gross is likely closer to $7,000 to $8,000 in take-home pay.

  • The Commute Expense: Going to the office 5 days a week instead of 3 means 2 extra round-trips per week. Factor in gas, public transit, wear-and-tear on your car, parking, and convenience meals or coffees.

  • The Time Cost: If your commute is 45 minutes each way, those 2 extra office days cost you an additional 3 hours of your life every week—roughly 140 hours a year spent sitting in traffic or on a train.

If your net take-home pay increase is $600 a month, but you spend $200 of that on commuting costs and lose 12 hours of free time monthly to the road, you are essentially trading your time for a very low hourly rate. If you make this move, it shouldn't be for the immediate $11k—it has to be entirely about where this role puts you 3 to 5 years from now.

2. The Government "Growth" Reality Check

You mentioned the new role has better career progression and a higher salary ceiling. While this is generally true of public sector roles compared to non-profits, keep a few structural realities of government work in mind:

  • Rigid Steps vs. Merit Promotion: Government salary growth is highly structured. You often have to put in years of service to climb "steps" or bands, or wait for someone senior to retire to apply for their role. It is rarely a fast-paced climb.

  • The Policy Pendulum: Government WFH policies are highly politicized. A role that requires 4 days in the office today could easily mandate 5 days tomorrow if a new administration or agency head decides to crack down on remote work.

  • The Resume Stamp: On the plus side, having a government agency on your resume can open doors to private sector consulting or higher-paying public roles down the line.

3. The "Stepping Stone" Strategy

Many professionals who successfully make this trade-off do so with a strict expiration date.

Instead of looking at the government job as a destination, view it as a 2-year investment. You accept the loss of flexibility and the painful commute temporarily to acquire the title, budget management, or scale of responsibility that your non-profit simply cannot offer. Once you have that on your resume, you leverage it to pivot back to a private or hybrid organization that offers both the higher salary ceiling and the 2–3 days of WFH you value.

If you don't see yourself using this job to pivot again in a few years, giving up your peace of mind and flexibility for an extra $11k gross might lead to rapid burnout.


Remote work has turned into 'remote presence' and I'm exhausted by the performance of it

I swear some companies didn't really adopt remote work; they just moved the office into Slack and my calendar.

I like my job and I love not commuting. I'm organized and I do fine with independent work. But the creeping expectation that I have to constantly prove I'm working is wearing me down.

It started small: cameras on by default, a 'quick sync' that somehow becomes a 45-minute meeting, people tagging you in a thread that should have been an email, then pinging you five minutes later. Now if you're not visibly typing, reacting, or in a meeting, you get treated like you're suspicious.

The hypocrisy stings. Managers will say 'we trust you' and 'we hired adults,' then roll out policies that basically require a running commentary on your entire day. I'm not a Twitch streamer. I don't want to narrate my brain to justify my paycheck.

Yes, I mute notifications and block focus time. I try to set boundaries. But the culture still punishes it. If I take two hours for deep work, I come back to a pile of anxious messages because everyone else was live-chatting decisions that should have been documented. Half the time, the only real break I get is zoning out for five minutes on some random app like Mistplay between pings.

So I end up doing the actual work after hours so I can spend daylight hours being available, agreeable, and responsive. Remote work was supposed to give me my life back, not make me feel like I'm on stage in my own house.

Anyone else feeling this shift lately?


Jobadvisor

This is a real pattern, not just you being sensitive about it — "remote work" and "remote surveillance-lite" are two different arrangements, and a lot of companies quietly built the second one while advertising the first.

The specific thing you named — being trusted in the mission statement and monitored in the tooling — is its own particular kind of exhausting because there's no clean way to name it. If someone said "please respond within five minutes or we'll assume you're slacking," you could push back on that directly. But "why aren't you reacting to this thread" doesn't sound like a policy. It sounds like a vibe you're supposed to just absorb. That ambiguity is part of what makes it wear you down — you can't file a grievance against a culture of anxious pinging.

A few things stand out in what you wrote:

The "quick sync" inflation and the thread-then-ping pattern are classic signs that async communication norms never actually got built. People default to synchronous because it's easier for the sender, not because the work requires it. That's a team habit problem, not a remote-work problem, but remote work makes it much more visible and much more draining, because there's no hallway conversation to absorb the overflow — it all lands in your notifications.

Doing real work after hours so you can perform availability during the day is the part I'd flag hardest. That's not a sustainable trade even if it feels manageable right now. You're not saving time, you're just moving your actual working hours to when no one's watching, which means your presence hours and your productive hours have split into two separate shifts. That's a lot of hours in a day.

Zoning out for five minutes between pings as your only real break — that's telling. Breaks that have to be disguised as something else (a quick app check that could pass as a legitimate pause) aren't breaks, they're stolen moments. You shouldn't need cover for resting.

On the "anyone else" question — yes, this has been a widely discussed shift, especially as more companies pushed return-to-office mandates alongside "productivity paranoia" monitoring for the people who stayed remote. If you want, I can pull up some recent discussion or data on this — there's been actual research on productivity theater and the trust gap between managers and remote workers that might be useful if you ever wanted language for raising it with your manager. Otherwise, I'm happy to just keep listening, or to help you think through what a boundary conversation with your manager could actually sound like, if that's a route you'd want to consider.


Feeling really isolated and demotivated, wfh

My job does require managing a group of people, all in different locations but we dont necessarily have to talk on video meetings daily. This ends up with sometimes not interacting with a single person other than necessary messages regarding work.

When I started this job, we were told 1-2 days would be mandatory in office but because of the nature of the work and people being in different locations it hasnt been enforced and even when I go in, I end up working on my own a lot. I feel really lazy and slow at doing tasks that would normally not take me very long.

My will to change out of my pyjamas is waning. I live with my partner who has mandatory office in person 4 days a week and a really positive and collaborative office environment.
I’ve realised I’m the kind of person who likes knowing the people I work with socially, even if its a short lighthearted conversation but currently feel really disconnected.

Any tips? How do people deal with this side of things when working fully remotely? Because of the amount of work I have to spend at my desk + errands/housework I dont have a very active social life. I’m afraid eventual transition back to meeting with people a lot if I change jobs will really overwhelm and exhaust me


Jobadvisor

It is incredibly common to hit this wall when working remotely, especially when your daily interaction is reduced to transactional text bubbles. It’s a very specific kind of exhaustion: you aren't doing much physical or social "work," yet you feel completely drained and sluggish.

The contrast with your partner’s thriving office environment probably makes it feel even more stark. Rest assured, your reaction is completely normal. Humans are wired for connection, and as a manager who values social rapport, you are currently running on empty.

Here are a few practical strategies to help you shake off the slump, rebuild your social stamina, and feel a bit more human again.

1. Rebuild "Passive Socialization"

You don't need a calendar packed with high-energy social events to cure isolation. Often, just being in the presence of other humans—what sociologists call "low-stakes" or "passive" socialization—is enough to trick your brain out of the slump.

  • The "Fake Commute" & Getting Dressed: The pajama trap is real. It signals to your brain that you are resting or sick. Commit to putting on "real" clothes (even if it's just a clean, presentable set of loungewear) and taking a 10-minute walk before you sit at your desk.

  • The Co-Working Pivot: Since going to your quiet office feels pointless, try working from a local coffee shop, library, or a dedicated co-working space for just one morning a week. You don’t have to talk to anyone; just hearing the hum of background noise and seeing people move can lift your cognitive energy.

2. Inject Social "Micro-Doses" Into Your Team Culture

As the manager of this distributed team, you actually have the power to shape the culture. If you are feeling isolated, there is a very high chance some of your team members are feeling it too. You don't need to force mandatory, awkward "fun" Zoom hours, but you can build in small touchpoints:

  • The 5-Minute Buffer: At the start of your necessary video meetings, explicitly dedicate the first 5 minutes to non-work banter. Ask a low-stakes question (e.g., "What's the best thing you ate this weekend?" or "Any good show recommendations?").

  • A "Watercooler" Channel: If you use Slack or Teams, create a channel specifically for non-work stuff—pet photos, memes, or local weather complaints.

  • Asynchronous "Coffee" Chats: Propose an optional, 15-minute virtual coffee break once a week. Make it clear it is 100% work-free and entirely optional so it doesn't feel like a chore.

3. Reframe Your "Re-entry" Fear

It is completely natural to worry that transitioning back to a highly social job will exhaust you. But think of social stamina like a physical muscle:

Right now, your "social muscle" has slightly atrophied because you haven't been using it. If you went to the gym today and tried to bench-press a heavy weight, you’d hurt yourself. But that doesn't mean you can never lift weights again—it just means you have to build back up to it.

When you eventually change jobs, your stamina will return as you adapt to the new routine. You won't be trapped in this low-energy state forever.

Of the strategies above, which one feels the most doable for you to try out this coming week?

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