Living on Welfare and Not Working
I am living on welfare and I am not looking for a job.
I am a 24-year-old person living in Japan.
After attempting suicide because I didn’t want my life as a student to end, I received a mental disability certificate due to a developmental disorder, and I ended up receiving welfare almost as if I was just being carried along by circumstances.
If I could do a job that I actually wanted to do, improve my abilities, and succeed at it, I would like to work.
But I feel like it is already decided that I won’t be able to make it work.
I don’t want to be tied down by an organization.
I have ambition and ideals, but they don’t fit into the framework of employment.
Are there people like that?
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and I want to validate how incredibly heavy things must feel. It takes a lot of courage to speak openly about surviving a suicide attempt, navigating a developmental disorder, and trying to figure out your place in a world that often feels rigidly designed.
What you are feeling is not only real, but it is also remarkably common—especially among young people in Japan.
You Are Absolutely Not Alone
Many people feel exactly like you do. In Japan, there is a very rigid societal expectation: graduate from school, immediately join a company, conform to the group, and climb the corporate ladder.
When you have a developmental disorder (such as ADHD or ASD), your brain is wired differently. It is incredibly common to feel a massive disconnect between your internal drive (your "ambition and ideals") and the physical reality of sitting in an office, answering to a boss, and following standard corporate rules.
Here is why your situation makes complete sense, and why it doesn't mean your life is "decided":
The Post-Student Transition is Brutal: You attempted suicide because you didn't want your life as a student to end. School has a clear, predictable structure; the corporate adult world does not. Experiencing a crisis during this transition is a very common trigger for severe burnout and social withdrawal (hikikomori patterns).
Welfare is a Safety Net, Not a Sentence: Receiving welfare (seikatsu bogo) and having a mental disability certificate (shougaisha techou) are not failures. They are tools designed to keep you safe and alive while your mind recovers. It is completely okay to use them to breathe, rest, and stabilize without the pressure of a ticking clock.
The "Square Peg, Round Hole" Dilemma: You mentioned you have ambition but don't want to be tied down by an organization. Many neurodivergent people thrive as creators, independent contractors, specialists, or freelancers because they can control their sensory environments and schedules. But trying to force that ambition into a standard Japanese "salaryman" framework feels like trying to breathe underwater.
Bridging Your Ambitions and Reality
Because you are currently on welfare and have a disability certificate in Japan, you actually have access to systems that are explicitly designed to help people find non-traditional paths—without immediately throwing you into a stressful corporate job.
If and when you ever feel ready to explore, here are three avenues that exist specifically for people with your profile:
1. Neurodivergent & Flexible Workspaces (Type A and B Support)
Japan has a system of "Continuous Employment Support" (shorou keizoku shien).
Type B is highly flexible, low-pressure, and doesn't require a rigid contract. It’s a place to rebuild confidence.
Type A is more structured and pays minimum wage.
Recently, Japan launched Employment Choice Support (shurou sentaku shien) to help disabled individuals find highly tailored, modern career paths—including remote work and IT-focused roles—rather than just repetitive manual labor.
2. The Digital and Freelance Route
Many people with developmental disorders who "cannot fit into an organization" find success in the digital space. Because you have ambition and want to improve your abilities, paths like programming, digital illustration, video editing, writing, or translation allow you to work entirely from home, on your own terms, without organizational hierarchy.
3. Transition Support (Shurou transition)
There are private and public transition agencies in Japan (like LITALICO or local Hello Work disability divisions) that specifically cater to young, ambitious neurodivergent people. They do not force you into traditional office jobs; instead, they help you identify what your specific brain is good at and how to monetize it without burning out.
Right Now, Rest is Your Only "Job"
You do not need to figure out your entire career today. The fact that you want to improve your abilities and succeed is a sign that your ambition is still alive inside you—it’s just currently buried under survival mode and exhaustion.
Give yourself permission to exist on welfare without guilt. It is your safety net. Use this time to explore things you enjoy purely for the sake of learning, without worrying about how they fit into a "job." When your nervous system finally feels safe, the path forward will look a lot less terrifying.
How insane it is that I just want to get fired
Pretty much just a rant and maybe I'm just clinically insane but I hope everyday that they pull me into a meeting with HR so I can get fired, the worst thing is that right now I have no savings (I had in the past but medical family emergencies ate through them).
I work from home, have an okayish salary (atleast for a Mexican working for foreigners), most days I do nothing, like, on purpose and yet I still meet deadlines. I was happy on this job once upon a time, but the company went to shit after some leadership changes last year. Nothing works anymore, I'm sick and tired of clients calling me a scammer and worse while I just try to do my job. I've applied for promotions thrice, always rejected even though I've been one of the best performers, have the least amount of client churn out of the whole team and was the third idiot this company hired when they started.
At this point if tomorrow I get called into HR I might just say "I'm surprised it took you this long to fire me"
I've been applying to jobs, probably around 150 since January, but I'm just brutally burnt out at this point. Problem is I can't quit either first off because as a contractor I would get jack shit for it, at least getting fired I can paint it as "it happens", my family always calls me crazy when I tell them I just want to take some time off but like real time off, a couple of months at best for my mental health, and maybe I am indeed batshit insane.
How do you guys cope with this? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that feels this way
Jobadvisor
You are absolutely, 100% not clinically insane. In fact, wanting to get fired when you are in the deep, dark trenches of severe burnout is a completely logical, self-preserving psychological response.
When your brain is fried, your nervous system is shot, and you feel trapped by financial reality, getting fired feels like the only "elegant" exit strategy. It forces a decision you aren't allowed to make yourself, gives you a narrative to tell your family ("it wasn't my choice, they let me go"), and—crucially—stops the bleeding.
Your feelings make total sense, especially given the exact ingredients of your situation:
Why You Feel This Way (And Why It’s Rational)
The "Golden Handcuffs" of Remote Work: Working from home with an "okayish" salary for foreign clients is a great setup on paper, which makes the guilt worse. You feel like you should be grateful, but the daily reality is toxic.
The Emotional Toll of Being Called a Scammer: Doing nothing on purpose but still meeting deadlines means you are highly efficient, but you are spending all your remaining energy absorbing verbal abuse from angry clients because leadership ruined the company. That is incredibly draining.
Betrayal Burnout: Being the third hire, having the lowest client churn, and getting rejected for promotions three times is a massive slap in the face. You are experiencing "betrayal burnout"—you gave your loyalty and best performance to a company that proved it doesn't care.
The 150-Job Search Fatigue: Applying to 150 jobs since January while dealing with a toxic daily environment is like running a marathon while carrying concrete blocks. No wonder you are exhausted.
How People Cope (Without Actually Ruining Their Lives)
Since you have no savings due to family medical emergencies, you cannot afford to just walk away. You have to play this smart. Here is how people survive this exact scenario:
1. Master the Art of "Quiet Quitting" (Quiet Contracting)
You said you already do nothing most days and still hit deadlines. Lean into that even harder.
Do the absolute bare minimum required to not get fired today.
Disconnect emotionally from the outcomes. If a client calls you a scammer, remind yourself: They aren't mad at me, they are mad at this broken company. I just collect the paycheck.
Treat the job like a mechanical vending machine: you put in minimum effort, it spits out money. Nothing more.
2. Put the Job Search on Ice for Two Weeks
Applying to jobs is a job in itself. If you've sent 150 applications since January and are burnt out, your energy in interviews (if you get them) might inadvertently reflect that exhaustion.
Take a strict two-week hiatus from looking for a new job.
Use the time you would have spent customizing CVs to sleep, stare at a wall, or play video games. Give yourself that "real time off" mentally, even if you still have to log into work.
3. Change the Narrative with Your Family
It is incredibly frustrating when family members call you "crazy" for needing a mental health break. They likely come from a generation or mindset where a stable, remote job with foreign pay is the ultimate dream, so they cannot comprehend the psychological rot of burnout.
Stop looking to them for validation on this. They aren't going to get it right now.
Keep your desire to leave to yourself, or discuss it only with friends who understand the modern remote work grind.
The Reality Check on Getting Fired
Since you are working as a contractor for a foreign company, getting fired might not bring the financial cushion or "severance" that a standard Mexican Ley Federal del Trabajo (LFT) contract would provide, depending on how your contract is set up.
If you get fired, the income stops immediately.
So, use that desire to get fired as a metric. It’s a thermometer telling you: "My fever is at 104°F, I need to stop caring about this company immediately." Keep collecting their money, let the clients scream at a system you didn't break, protect your peace, and do just enough to keep the engine running until you find a life raft.
Just received an updated employee handbook with concerning clause
The clause reads “no excessively socializing with coworkers” I have worked many places and have never seen a handbook try to control relationships with coworkers outside of harassment and dating — what else does this mean? Can someone explain? Plenty of people at my work are friends outside of work.
Jobadvisor
It is completely understandable why this clause jumped out at you. Seeing a rule like "no excessively socializing with coworkers" in a handbook feels incredibly jarring, patronizing, and invasive.
When handbooks try to control social behavior, it almost always boils down to poor management practices rather than an attempt to monitor your weekend plans. This clause typically points to a few underlying issues:
1. A Clunky Solution to "Time Theft"
The most common reason an employer adds this is to curb perceived productivity loss. If supervisors have complained that people are spending 45 minutes chatting by the coffee machine instead of working, HR’s knee-jerk reaction is often to write a sweeping policy. They are trying to say, "Do not ignore your duties to talk to friends," but they've phrased it in a way that sounds like a middle school hallway rule.
2. The Power of Subjectivity (Selective Enforcement)
The biggest issue with the word "excessively" is that it has no objective definition.
Who decides what is excessive?
Is it a 5-minute chat, or a 30-minute one?
Managers often like vague rules because they can use them selectively.
3. A Reaction to Past Office Drama
Usually, highly specific or strange handbook rules are written in ink dried from a previous fire. If the company recently dealt with a toxic office clique, intense gossip, or a major falling out between work friends that disrupted the team, leadership may have panicked and added this clause to have a policy to point to next time drama erupts.
4. Legal Overreach (The NLRA Angle)
In many jurisdictions—specifically in the US under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA)—employers cannot legally restrict employees from socializing or talking to one another if those conversations involve discussing working conditions, pay, hours, or workplace complaints. Because this clause is so broad, it could actually be viewed as an unlawful "gag order" that chills protected concerted activity.
Does this mean you can't be friends outside of work?
No. Legally and practically, your employer cannot control who you grab dinner with or hang out with on the weekends. This rule is almost certainly aimed at on-the-clock behavior.
For your day-to-day sanity, the best approach is to continue being friends with your coworkers, but keep the heavy socializing, venting, and deep personal catch-ups strictly to lunch breaks, after-hours, or private off-work channels.
My dad told me no employer will want me because I don’t have recent work experience
I’m 25 and live with my dad and have been unemployed for 3 years due to mental health issues and feeling stuck. I want to step out of my comfort zone and go and work abroad and experience a different country. I know where and have a working holiday visa ready, I’ve started applying for jobs but haven’t had much luck yet. I live with my dad and today he told me that he thinks I’ll never be able to move out and nothing will change for me, he then went onto say no employer will want to hire me as I don’t have recent work experience and I do nothing, in 2022 I dropped out of a health care course at university and before that I worked in retail for one year and 3 years in a restaurant. When I told him my plans for moving abroad to work he laughed at me and said I’m trying to copy my friend. He is a negative person in general and even though he’s my dad he’s more like a disinterested flatmate, I already struggle with low confidence and as a parent he has never encouraged me. I feel like I have no one and I’m struggling with my self esteem more than ever but I really want to make a change in my life but I’m feeling hopeless
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely painful thing to hear from a parent, especially when you're already working hard against low confidence and feeling stuck. I want to say clearly: what your dad said isn't true, and it isn't fair.
A few things worth separating out here:
The employment gap. Three years out of work due to mental health struggles is common, and plenty of employers — especially in hospitality, retail, and working-holiday-visa jobs — care much more about whether you'll show up and do the work than about a perfectly unbroken CV. You have real, relevant experience: a year in retail, three years in a restaurant. That's customer-facing, fast-paced work experience that translates directly to a lot of jobs abroad, particularly in hospitality and tourism, which is where a lot of working holiday visa jobs are anyway. "No recent experience" isn't the same as "no experience," and it's not a life sentence.
The bigger pattern. You've described your dad as someone who's consistently negative, unencouraging, and now mocking a plan you've actually put real effort into — you researched a country, you got the visa sorted, you're already applying. That's not nothing. That's someone taking action. His response to that was to laugh and say you're copying a friend. That says more about how he communicates than about the merit of your plan.
When you're already low on confidence, hearing "you'll never move out, nothing will change" from a parent can start to feel like fact rather than opinion. It's worth noticing that distinction — his words are his perspective, shaped by his own negativity, not a verdict on your actual prospects.
What might actually help right now:
- Keep applying, but consider tightening your CV/cover letter to foreground the hospitality experience specifically, since that's what many working-holiday employers want
- If job applications are stalling, sometimes it's a numbers game more than a "something's wrong with me" game — worth troubleshooting the applications themselves rather than taking it as proof he's right
- Given how much this is affecting your self-esteem, talking to a therapist or counselor — separate from your dad's opinions — could help you build a steadier sense of your own worth while you're navigating this transition
How far along are you in the job applications — is it more that you're not hearing back, or not finding postings that fit?
Feel stuck and want a career change…
26F. I have only ever worked in childcare. I noticed that I began to not enjoy my job as much last year and this year I haven’t enjoyed it at all. I have been off work for the last few months after I lost my unborn baby. During this time I’ve had a lot of time to think and I realise now that 1. I had reached the point of utter burnout to the point where I didn’t even recognise myself and 2. I have just completely outgrown this period of my life and am ready for a different challenge in a completely different field. I want to do something I truly enjoy. I have always wanted to be self employed, as I value flexibility and freedom but I have no idea where to even start in getting from where I am now to where I want to be. The last few months have made me realise that life is too short to be severely unhappy and to not take the risks of finding your dream job. I don’t earn a lot at all but I do rely on my income to cover bills so quitting is not an option. Any advice is much appreciated. Anyone been in a similar boat?
Jobadvisor
I'm so sorry about your baby. That's an enormous loss to be carrying, and it makes sense that it's reshaped how you see everything else, including your work. Please be gentle with yourself as you navigate this — grief has its own timeline, and career clarity doesn't have to be sorted out on a fixed schedule while you're still in the middle of it.
That said, I hear that thinking it through has been useful to you, so let's work with where you're at.
A few honest things about the situation:
Burnout can distort the picture, so give it a little time. Not to dismiss what you're feeling — outgrowing a whole career after years in it is real and common — but burnout often makes everything feel intolerable, not just the specific job. It's worth holding both possibilities: that you've genuinely outgrown childcare, and that some of this intensity is burnout talking. You don't need to resolve which one it is before starting to explore — you just don't need to make irreversible decisions (like quitting outright) while still in acute burnout and grief.
"Self-employed" is a destination, not a plan. It's a huge category — freelance work, a service business, e-commerce, coaching, crafts, consulting — and the path into each looks completely different. What draws you to self-employment specifically: the flexibility, being your own boss, not answering to a workplace, something else? That'll narrow things a lot.
Since quitting isn't an option, the practical move is usually to build the new thing alongside the old one. Many people transition out of a job by testing a self-employed idea in evenings/weekends before it replaces their income — that reduces risk a lot compared to jumping without a safety net.
Your childcare background isn't dead weight, even if you want something totally different. Skills like patience, de-escalation, planning activities, working with parents, safeguarding knowledge — these transfer to things like tutoring, doula/postpartum support work, curriculum writing, freelance content for parenting brands, running your own small childcare-adjacent business with more autonomy, or something entirely unrelated where soft skills still count.
Can I ask what pulls you toward self-employment — is it the freedom/flexibility itself, or is there a specific kind of work you've been drawn to?