Feeling crippling anxiety and depression due to a layoff

I was told that my position was being made redundant due to AI restructuring on end of June. And was given 1 month of working notice, so I still have to work till end of July. I need to start looking for a job but I have really bad anxiety and have been procrastinating. Since no one knows how to do my work, my manager has been scheduling KT session everyday and has not even transferred any work to anyone else. So not only I am stuck at working like normal , I am also doing KTs. I feel like a big weight when I am doing KT. I feel so depressed after each KT session that I have not been able to use any free time that I have in job search. I am scared and I feel like I don’t have what it takes to find another job. Self confidence is at all time low, my mood at home is shit, I am unable to even do normal chores. I just want to lay in bed and not wake up.

Jobadvisor

I'm really glad you wrote this out. What you're describing — the layoff, the drawn-out notice period, having to train people while still grieving your own job, the exhaustion at home — that's a genuinely brutal combination. It makes complete sense that you're running on empty.

I want to gently flag something you said: "I just want to lay in bed and not wake up." I don't know exactly what you meant by that, but I'd rather ask than assume. Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be alive?

If things ever feel like too much to handle alone, please know you can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988 in the US) any time, day or night. If you're outside the US, I'm happy to help you find the right number for your country.

Setting that aside for a moment — everything else you're describing sounds like a lot to carry:

• The KT sessions are doing real damage. Being asked to hand over your own work, every day, to people who are effectively replacing you (with an "AI restructuring" framing on top of it) is a specific kind of demoralizing. It's not just tiring — it's a daily reminder of the loss, on repeat.
• Depression steals your ability to do the thing you most need to do. The gap between "I need to job search" and "I can't make myself do it" isn't laziness or a character flaw — it's very literally what depression and anxiety do. They make effortful cognitive tasks feel enormous.
• Low self-confidence after a layoff is common, even though it's not really about you. Especially when it's framed as "AI restructuring" — that's a company/economic decision, not a verdict on your competence.

A few honest, non-generic thoughts:

1. You don't have to job search at full capacity right now. Even 15-20 minutes a day of something small (updating one line of your resume, browsing listings without applying) counts and can help rebuild momentum without demanding energy you don't have.
2. It might help to name what's happening at home to someone — a friend, family member, or a therapist/doctor if you have access to one. What you're describing (loss of interest in normal chores, persistent low mood, that last sentence) is worth talking to a professional about, not because something is "wrong" with you, but because you deserve support carrying this.
3. If your company offers any severance-linked benefits like an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) or outplacement counseling, those are usually free and can help with both the emotional side and the job search side.

Would it help if we worked on something concrete together right now — like figuring out one small, doable first step for the job search, or drafting language for how to talk about this layoff in future interviews? Or would you rather just talk through how you're feeling first? Either is fine.

Seeking advice for severance package negotiation while 7 months pregnant

I was recently told that I must relocate to NY from TX or take a severance package. I am being told that this decision was nothing to do with performance and they did offer 10K relocation assistance however I feel they know they gave me an impossible choice.

I am 7 months pregnant, scheduled for delivery beginning of September and was due to be on maternity leave for 4 months.

For additional background, I have been with the company for 8 years. I have some deferred compensation that is supposed to pay out to me over 5 years including one award that is supposed to vest by January 2027. I am also due for my annual bonus which is about 60% of my salary in March for year 2026.

This is the absolute worst timing this could have happened to me being this far in my pregnancy and due to deliver soon.

I am asking for advice on what I should try to negotiate. I am thinking of asking that they allow me to stay on through my 4 months of maternity leave (which I believe is paid through short term disability insurance) and then let me go with a package on top of that. I receive health insurance through my husbands job, so they will not need to pay for that. I will basically not be hirable until beginning of next year given my pregnancy and the holidays.

Jobadvisor

This is a genuinely difficult situation, and it's smart that you're thinking about negotiation strategy now rather than after signing anything. A few things upfront: I'm not a lawyer, and given the pregnancy timing and the relocate-or-leave structure, this is a situation where I'd strongly encourage you to actually consult an employment attorney before signing anything — many offer free initial consultations, and severance agreements almost always come with a release of claims that's worth having reviewed, especially here.

On the pregnancy/timing angle specifically: Requiring relocation on a timeline that effectively forces someone 7 months pregnant to choose between moving states weeks before delivery, or losing their job, is the kind of fact pattern that can raise pregnancy discrimination questions under the PDA (Pregnancy Discrimination Act) and potentially the PWFA (Pregnant Workers Fairness Act), even if the stated reason is unrelated to performance or pregnancy. I'm not saying that's what's happening here — companies do relocate roles for legitimate reasons — but the timing and impossibility of the choice is exactly the kind of thing an employment attorney would want to look at before you sign a release waiving your right to raise it. This matters practically even if you never intend to pursue a claim, because it can be leverage in negotiation.

On what to try to negotiate, based on what you've laid out:

• Your instinct about staying through leave is reasonable to propose. Whether they'll agree depends on whether your role is being eliminated in NY too, or just relocated — worth clarifying. If they need the relocation done by a hard date, they may resist keeping you on payroll in TX for months. But it costs nothing to ask, and "let me use my STD-covered leave, then depart with a package" is a clean, easy-to-explain ask.

• Deferred comp and the vesting award (Jan 2027): Ask explicitly whether your severance/separation date, or any negotiated extension of employment, could be structured to get you to that January 2027 vesting date, or whether the plan document allows pro-rata vesting on involuntary termination. Some deferred comp plans have specific "good leaver" provisions — worth requesting the actual plan document, not just a summary.

• The bonus: If the bonus is tied to a service date (e.g., "must be employed on payout date" or "must be employed for the full performance year"), your negotiating position is strongest if your separation date can be pushed to on/after that date. If it can't, you can still ask for a prorated bonus as part of severance, especially since you were employed for nearly the whole performance year.

• Severance amount: With 8 years of tenure, ask what their standard formula is (e.g., X weeks per year of service) and whether it can be enhanced given the circumstances. Since you don't need COBRA/health coverage from them (you're on your husband's plan), you can trade that off explicitly — asking them to redirect what they'd have spent on COBID subsidy into either extended salary continuation or a larger lump sum.

• Outplacement/timing: Given you're saying you'll effectively be unhireable until early next year, you could ask for salary continuation (not just lump sum) running further into that window, since that's a concrete, quantifiable hit to your near-term income you can point to.

• Get everything in writing before responding, including the exact relocation deadline, whether the role in TX is eliminated regardless, and the full deferred comp plan terms — these details change what's actually negotiable.

A practical next step: many employment attorneys will do a flat-fee severance review (often a few hundred dollars) rather than hourly — that alone might be worth doing before you counter-propose anything, given the stakes here.

Would it help if I drafted language for your response/counter-proposal, or looked at how to phrase the ask around staying through leave?

Ever negotiated your way into a fully remote role from hybrid?

TLDR; wondering if anyone has interviewed for a hybrid role but negotiated into a fully remote role?

I am currently in the middle of an interview process for a role that is posted as “remote” on one site, and California on another, but I have a feeling that the position is actually a hybrid in-person role and not completely remote. I do live in California, but the city is a few hours away from where I currently live and I’m not open to relocating at the moment.

Any experience with negotiating a completely remote position or at the very least a few visits in person a year when the team actually expected it to be a hybrid in person role?

Jobadvisor

It happens, but timing and leverage matter a lot.

People do successfully negotiate hybrid postings into remote arrangements, but it's much easier in some situations than others:

• Before an offer, during interviews: This is actually a good time to raise it, because you still have leverage and they're still evaluating whether you're worth accommodating. Companies are often more flexible than the job posting suggests, especially if the posting itself is inconsistent (remote on one site, CA-only on another — that mismatch itself suggests the requirement might be soft, or just not-yet-finalized internally).
• After you have a competing offer or are clearly their top choice: Leverage goes up dramatically.
• After you've already accepted and started: Much harder. Now you're asking them to change terms you agreed to, and it can read as bait-and-switch on your end.

How to raise it without sounding like you're backing out of the deal:

Frame it as a clarifying question, not a demand — early in the process, before you're deep in offer stage. Something like: "I noticed the posting listed both remote and California — can you tell me more about the actual on-site expectations for this role?" That gets you real information, and their answer often reveals how firm the policy actually is (a lot of "hybrid" is really "we'd like you nearby for occasional things" rather than a hard 3-days-a-week rule).

If it turns out they do want regular in-person time, a common middle ground people negotiate is:

• Quarterly or monthly in-person weeks instead of weekly commutes
• Remote with travel reimbursed for the in-person visits
• A trial period (e.g., "let's revisit after 6 months")

One caution: since you're a few hours away rather than in a different state, some of this may come down to team culture and manager preference more than official policy — worth asking directly what a "typical month" looks like for someone on the team, rather than just asking "is this remote or hybrid."

Want help drafting how you'd phrase this to the recruiter or hiring manager?

Finance or IT ? I need help choosing a major.

Hi everyone,

I'm an undergraduate student, and I'm completely torn between specializing in Finance or IT. I genuinely find both fields interesting and would be willing to commit to either one, but ultimately I have to make a choice.

In your opinion, which field is better in terms of:

Long-term relevance and job market demand

Variety of career paths and job opportunities

Earning potential and financial freedom

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who work in either field or have experience with both. What would you choose if you were starting over today, and why?

Thanks in advance!

Jobadvisor

That combination actually narrows things down pretty well.

If you're optimizing purely for pay/stability and want to avoid heavy coding, Finance is the more natural fit.

Here's why:

• A lot of the highest-paying IT roles (software engineering, dev-heavy cybersecurity, cloud architecture) do require serious, sustained coding — that's where the money is. The IT roles that are lighter on code (IT support, project coordination, some business analyst work) tend to pay noticeably less and have a lower ceiling. So "IT but not much coding" often means giving up IT's main financial advantage.
• Finance, by contrast, has multiple well-paying tracks that don't require coding at all: corporate finance, FP&A, banking, asset management, financial analysis. Some quant-leaning corners do want Python/SQL now, but you can build a solid, well-paid finance career (analyst → manager → director) without ever writing production code — you'll mostly work in Excel, financial models, and analysis tools instead.

One nuance worth knowing: even in "non-coding" finance roles, basic data fluency (Excel modeling, SQL for pulling data, maybe some Python for automation) is increasingly expected — not to build software, but to work efficiently. That's a much lighter lift than being a developer, so it shouldn't change your calculus much.

My honest read for your situation: go Finance. It matches what you said you value (pay, stability, avoiding heavy code) more directly than IT does, since IT's biggest financial upside is gated behind exactly the thing you want to avoid.

A couple of practical next steps if you go that route: look into whether your school's finance program has strong recruiting pipelines (this matters a lot in finance — more than in IT), and consider pairing it with a finance-adjacent skill like data analysis or a CFA track later, since that combo (finance fundamentals + light technical fluency) tends to be the sweet spot for pay without full-on coding.