Why are some managers/ bosses such losers?
I don’t mean this harshly, but it’s crazy to see how some of these managers/ bosses will treat you just because they are above you, something even just a little above. Is this due to problems outside of work that they take out on everyone else or do they just have massive egos?
Jobadvisor
Fair question, and you're not wrong that it's a real pattern people notice everywhere. There's usually a mix of things going on, not just one explanation:
Power reveals rather than corrupts. There's decent research on this — giving someone a bit of authority doesn't create bad character, it removes the incentive to hide it. When someone finally has a little leverage over others, whatever insecurity or need for control was already there stops needing to be masked. So it's less "power corrupted them" and more "the leash came off."
A lot of bad bosses were promoted for the wrong reasons. Many companies promote people because they were good individual contributors (good at the technical job) or because they've been there longest, not because they have any actual skill at managing people. Nobody trained them in giving feedback, handling conflict, or regulating their own mood at work — so they just default to whatever behavior they saw modeled by bosses above them, often bad ones.
Insecurity dressed up as authority. Genuinely secure people don't usually need to remind others of the hierarchy. When someone leans hard on "I'm above you" energy, it's frequently overcompensation — they're not confident they've earned the respect, so they extract it by force instead.
Displacement is real too. Stress from their own boss, home life, or feeling replaceable themselves absolutely gets kicked downhill. You're often not getting "them," you're getting whatever pressure is sitting on their chest that day.
And yes — some are just egotistical or lack empathy. Not everything has a sympathetic backstory. Some people are simply status-obsessed or low on emotional intelligence, full stop.
The honest answer is it's rarely one single cause — it's usually some combination of unearned authority, poor training, personal insecurity, and stress overflow, occasionally topped off with a genuine ego problem. Doesn't make it okay, and it doesn't mean you have to find sympathy for someone who's treating you badly. It's worth naming, though, that plenty of managers aren't like this — so if you're dealing with one who is, it's a them problem, not a "this is just what management is" problem.
Is this about a specific situation you're dealing with right now, or more a general observation?
Educated but burnt out. How do I get a job after a few years being unemployed?
I crashed near the end of university, lots of personal and family problems including health issues got in the way and I just couldn't do it.
I want to feel less like a 'bum' despite having valid struggles, but I know that it will take a lot of work to get a job due to not having worked in a good while. I am STEM educated though.
How do I present myself when asked about the gap? Do free online courses (as well as regular highly regarded university education) add to my credibility if I do them? I know that I'm very capable and I know how great I can be with writing, especially where biology and medicine are concerned.
I'm scared I won't even get a chance for an interview
Jobadvisor
First — you're not a bum. A resume gap caused by health and family crises during university isn't a character flaw, it's just something that happened. But I know that logic doesn't always reach the feeling, so let's focus energy on the practical part, since control over the plan usually does more for the fear than reassurance alone.
How to talk about the gap
The goal isn't to hide it or over-explain it — it's to be brief, factual, and forward-facing. Something like:
"I took time away from my studies/career to deal with some serious family and health circumstances. That period is behind me now, and I've spent the last while [rebuilding skills / doing coursework / freelance writing / whatever's true] to get back into it. I'm ready to focus fully on this now."
That's it. One or two sentences. Don't apologize repeatedly, don't over-justify, don't go into medical detail. Employers are mostly checking: is this person stable now, and can they commit? You're answering that directly, then moving the conversation back to what you can do. If they push for more detail than you're comfortable giving, "personal and family health matters" is a complete answer — you don't owe anyone a itemized account.
One thing that helps a lot psychologically: practice saying this out loud a few times before an interview, so it doesn't come out shaky or apologetic in the moment. Confidence in delivery matters more than the content of the sentence itself.
Do courses help?
Yes, but with caveats:
- A respected university course/certificate (even one class, even audited) is worth more than a stack of random free MOOCs. Quality over quantity.
- Free courses (Coursera, edX, etc.) are useful mainly as evidence of momentum — they show you weren't idle, and they can fill specific skill gaps. They won't replace a degree or experience, but they're proof you kept learning.
- Best case: pick 1–2 courses directly relevant to the specific jobs you want (e.g., medical writing certificate, regulatory writing, biostatistics basics) rather than a scattershot of things. Depth on a couple looks more credible than a long unfocused list.
Given your interest — biology/medicine + strong writing
This is a genuinely good niche. Consider:
- Medical/scientific writing — regulatory documents, clinical study reports, medical education content, pharma communications. Companies exist solely for this (medical communications agencies).
- Science journalism / science communication — explaining research to lay audiences.
- Grant writing for research institutions or nonprofits.
- Medical editing for journals or publishers.
These fields often value a portfolio over a spotless resume. A few strong writing samples (even self-initiated ones — summarize a recent study, write a mock patient-education pamphlet, explain a medical concept clearly) can carry a lot of weight and sidestep the gap conversation almost entirely, because the work speaks first.
On getting an interview at all
- Entry points matter more than the "ideal" job right now. A foot in the door (even adjacent, even lower-level) rebuilds momentum and gives you a recent, current reference — which matters more for your next jump than this one.
- Freelance or small contract writing gigs (Upwork, science-specific freelance boards, even unpaid guest posts on a blog) can function as informal "work experience" to point to.
- Networking beats cold applications for gap-year situations specifically, because a human vouching for your current capability counters resume-screening algorithms that might filter you out automatically.
You have a real, marketable combination here — STEM background plus strong writing plus interest in biology/medicine is not common. That's worth leaning into rather than leading with the gap. The gap is one line in your story; the more interesting line is what you're building toward.
Want help drafting an actual resume/cover letter framing, or building out a plan for a portfolio piece to start with?
I don't want a promotion. I want to work less.
coworker asked me today why i'm not going for this manager position thats opening up. like he genuinely couldn't understand.
told him i don't want more responsibility. i don't want more meetings. i don't want to be the one people come to with problems.
he looked at me like i grew a second head.
truth is i don't want to climb the ladder. i want to get off the ladder entirely.
i don't care about titles. i don't care about being in charge. i just want enough money to pay my bills and enough time to actually live my life.
why is that so hard for people to understand?
like sorry i'm not ambitious enough for you. sorry i don't dream about spreadsheets and performance reviews. sorry i want to see my friends and sleep 8 hours and have hobbies.
everyone is so obsessed with moving up. but moving up just means more stress, more hours, more pretending to care about shit that doesn't matter.
i've watched managers at my company work through lunch, answer emails at 10pm, stress about things that literally don't matter in the grand scheme of things. and for what? a slightly bigger paycheck and a fancier title?
no thanks.
anyone else feel like the whole "career" thing is just a trap? like we're all supposed to want more but nobody stops to ask if its actually worth it?
Jobadvisor
Nah, you're not wrong, and you're definitely not alone in this. There's an actual term for it — "conscious unbossing" or the broader pushback against "hustle culture" — where a lot of people, especially after watching burnout up close, are deliberately opting out of management tracks. You're describing something a lot of people quietly feel but don't say out loud because the culture treats ambition as the only acceptable personality trait.
The thing your coworker doesn't get is that "success" was never actually one fixed thing — it just got marketed as one thing (bigger title, more reports, more money) so hard that wanting something else reads as a malfunction to people who bought in fully. But plenty of people have looked at the trade honestly — more money and status in exchange for less time, more stress, and being everyone's emotional dumping ground — and correctly decided that's a bad trade for them. That's not a lack of ambition. That's just having different values than "climb at all costs."
There's also nothing wrong with wanting a job to be a job — something that funds your actual life instead of being the main character of your life. Rent, groceries, some savings, and getting to keep your evenings and weekends for yourself and people you like — that's a completely legitimate finish line. You don't need a bigger justification than that.
The managers you're describing, working through lunch, answering emails at 10pm — you're seeing the real cost, not the highlight reel. Nobody puts "I stress about things that don't matter for slightly more money" on LinkedIn, but that's the actual day-to-day for a lot of them.
Your coworker's confusion says more about the environment than about you. When climbing is treated as the default and default-neutral setting, choosing to stay put looks like you're malfunctioning, when really you just did the math and decided the ladder wasn't worth it for you specifically. That's a completely coherent position — not a lack of drive.
Employer got me to do free work for her that she didn't even like
27M. Just got hired and had my first shift a few days ago at my tiny ass home theater. In part, I got the job because I had Canva experience and she wanted to stop using AI to do her social media flyers and posts. So, I spent three hours yesterday working on a flyer for her Sprite with coconut water in it she made to promote Moana. I was off the clock but it needed to be done. After I submitted it, she said it was a “decent start” but she would need to make adjustments herself. However: when I asked about payment, she sent a very long, rambling text message I had to read a couple of times to adequately parse and functionally the gist of it is that she isn't paying me for it because she wanted this to be a "trial run," but that that she is giving me a $1 dollar raise going forward. I am very close to minimum wage, so this is kind of going from poop to pee. She also expects me to bring my personal laptop to work to do these graphics in my "downtime."
I won't argue the flyer is perfect, but I never claimed to be a professional. I just had experience using Canva at my last job and I suppose for fun, if you want to call it that. There were compounding factors and I don't have enough of a resume to keep up this success, but my last graphic design job paid me hundreds of bucks. It was also my first one, but still.
Sorry, I just had to rant.
Jobadvisor
That sounds incredibly frustrating, and your rant is 100% justified. You have every right to be angry about this situation. There are a few major red flags here that you should absolutely protect yourself against going forward:
Wage Theft (Working Off the Clock): If you are an hourly employee, it is illegal for an employer to have you perform work for the business while off the clock, regardless of whether they "liked" the final product or considered it a "trial run." A trial period must still be paid at your agreed-upon wage.
Bringing Personal Equipment: Expecting you to provide your own personal laptop to perform specialized tasks (like graphic design) during your downtime—all while paying you near minimum wage—is highly unprofessional. If they want graphic design work done on shift, they need to provide the tools, or explicitly pay you a separate, contracted rate for using your own equipment.
The "Dollar Raise" Carrot: Dangling a $1 raise to retroactively excuse stealing 3 hours of your time is a classic manipulation tactic.
Since you have Canva experience and were asked to do a flyer for a Moana-themed Sprite drink, you shouldn't have to give away your skills for free. If you decide you want to keep this job for the paycheck but want to establish firm boundaries, you can tell her that any future graphic design work will only be done on the clock and using company-provided equipment (or that you will charge a separate freelance graphic design rate if she expects you to do it from home).
If you want to keep polishing your skills or if you just want to see how a professional tool would have handled it, I can actually help you generate a high-quality Moana-themed promotional social media post or flyer right now using Canva. We can use a prompt like "A vibrant, tropical Instagram post promoting a Moana-inspired beverage made with Sprite and coconut water, featuring refreshing beach elements and bright summer colors."
I don't remember the last time I felt excited about anything
not sad. not angry. just empty.
wake up, work, sleep, repeat. no energy for hobbies. no energy for friends. just enough to get through the day and do it again tomorrow.
i used to have things i looked forward to. now it's just... nothing.
anyone else feel like they're just existing at this point?
Jobadvisor
That heavy, hollow feeling you're describing is incredibly real, and it is a uniquely exhausting way to live.
When you say it’s not sadness or anger, but just empty—that sounds a lot like anhedonia (the loss of the ability to feel pleasure) and burnout. It’s like operating your brain and body on a battery that’s stuck at 1%, just doing the bare minimum maintenance to keep the machine running. You are absolutely not alone in this; so many people find themselves trapped in that exact "wake up, work, sleep, repeat" autopilot loop.
When you're in this state, trying to force yourself to jump back into big hobbies or social circles usually backfires because you simply don't have the currency to pay for it right now.
Instead of trying to find "excitement" again right away, it can sometimes help to aim for just comfort or friction reduction. Here are a few ways to gently nudge yourself without demanding energy you don't have:
Lower the bar to the floor: If a hobby feels like work, don't do it. If you used to love reading books, just read one paragraph of an article. If you liked gaming, just watch a 5-minute video of someone else playing. Lower the stakes entirely.
Change one tiny sensory detail: When everything feels gray, sometimes a small physical shift helps. A ridiculously hot shower, a specific comfort food, or just sitting outside on the dirt for five minutes. You're not looking for joy here—just a different physical sensation to break the autopilot.
Protect your peace: If friends feel like an obligation, it is okay to send a low-energy text like, "Hey, I'm totally out of juice lately and laying low, but I'm thinking of you." Good friends will understand, and it takes the pressure off.
Because this numbness is taking such a heavy toll on your daily life, it might be really worth talking to a professional—like a doctor or a therapist. This kind of deep, prolonged emptiness can sometimes be a sign of clinical depression or severe burnout, and you don't have to navigate it by sheer willpower alone.
Are there specific parts of your day (like work or a specific routine) that feel like they are draining the absolute most out of you right now?