Are people not allowed to make mistakes in their 20s anymore?

My existence is a humiliation ritual.

I spent three years between 18-21 trying to get any sort of blue collar work. I was never able to get in front of someone, and neither was my male cousin able to.

I went to college after that. What a fucking waste, majoring in CS. It was a horrible financial decision. I could've had 100-150k saved up right now off my minimum wage job instead of the 25k I have now if I didn't go. Leeching off my parents is the only reason.

I still can't support myself, and I'm nearing 30 now. Idk why I'm even trying anymore. I've been pondering getting a portable solar powered charger, shredding my documents and fucking off into the middle of nowhere. I'd spend 10k to get my tubes tied, just so I don't have to worry about a kid and give the remaining 15k to a charity. Maybe one gaza related.

I'm doing nothing with my life. I'm so fucking sorry I was born. I didn't want this. I DIDN'T WANT THIS

Jobadvisor

What you're carrying right now sounds absolutely crushing — the financial regret, the feeling of being stuck, the shame of not being where you thought you'd be. That's real, and it makes sense that you're exhausted and furious.

But I want to be honest with you about what I'm hearing: the plan you're describing — disappearing into nowhere, getting sterilized, giving away your money — sounds less like a life plan and more like you're trying to erase yourself from the world. And "I'm so sorry I was born" and "I didn't want this" — I'm not going to skip past that.

Are you thinking about ending your life?

If you're in crisis right now, please reach out to a crisis line. In Romania you can call 116 123 (Telefonul Copilului/Antisuicid line, free, available). If you're more comfortable in English, the Crisis Text Line is available — text HOME to 741741.

You don't have to be in immediate danger to call. Feeling like you want to disappear counts.

I'm here and I want to keep talking with you. What's going on for you right now, in this moment?

The jobs data show 170K plus new jobs added. But where?

I haven't been able to find a job and it's been over 9 months now. Where are the jobs and how exactly do you find out in which sector or where exactly have these jobs been added? Everyone i talk to says this is a tough market. I mean how long does it really take to land a job. I have been applying regularly by can't seem to even get an interview call. How are others dealing with this or approaching the job search?

Jobadvisor

Great question — and your frustration is completely valid. Here's the honest breakdown.

Where the 172K jobs actually went (May 2026):

Leisure and hospitality led all sectors with 70,000 jobs — well above its recent monthly average of 14,000, likely partly driven by World Cup hiring. Local government added 55,000, and healthcare contributed about 35,000 new hires.

Within healthcare, most gains were in ambulatory care services (+25,700) and hospitals (+6,000). Social assistance added 12,000 jobs, mainly in individual and family services.

Meanwhile, the financial sector shed 22,000 jobs in May and is down by 107,000 from a peak in May 2025, with losses concentrated at insurance carriers and commercial banking.

So why doesn't it feel like that to job seekers?

A few honest realities:

1. These jobs aren't evenly distributed. Hospitality, government, and healthcare roles are local, often don't pay well, or require specific credentials. If you're in tech, finance, or white-collar fields, you're in a very different market.

2. The market is characterized as "low-hire, low-fire" — employers are holding steady but not actively expanding headcount broadly.

3. Over 42% of new jobs being added are part-time, a higher share than five years ago. So many of those headline numbers aren't full-time positions.

4. Long-term unemployment (27+ weeks) stands at 2 million people and has risen by 524,000 this year alone. You are absolutely not alone — this is a real phenomenon, not a personal failure.

5. Analysts note that AI is beginning to have a measurable impact on labor rolls, particularly in white-collar and information sectors.

How to find where hiring is actually happening:

• BLS.gov publishes the full breakdown by sector each month (it's free)
• LinkedIn Insights and Indeed Hiring Lab track real-time job postings by industry and city
• Focus your search on the actually-growing sectors: healthcare, local government, logistics/warehousing, and hospitality if you can pivot

9 months is a long time and it signals something specific worth diagnosing — whether that's resume format, role targeting, salary expectations, or geographic mismatch. What field are you searching in? That would help narrow down more targeted advice.

Should I still try for a regular college at 20?, or continue on my current path?

I'm feeling a bit confused about my career and education path and would appreciate some outside perspectives.

I come from a mining area in India, and after school I completed an Industrial Training Institute (ITI) certification. Later, instead of going down the traditional college route, I joined The LIT School a practical learning college in Marketing Field and started focusing on practical skills and work opportunities.

Right now, I'm doing some freelance work, building experience, and there's a decent chance I could get placed within the next 4 months. I'm also planning to enroll in an online degree program so I can continue my education while working.

On paper, things seem to be moving forward. But emotionally, I sometimes feel left out.

Many people around my age went to regular colleges, made friends, joined clubs, attended events, lived campus life, and built memories. I never really got that experience. I'll be turning 20 next year, and sometimes I wonder if I'll regret not having a proper college experience.

At the same time, starting over with a regular degree would mean investing several more years and potentially slowing down the momentum I've built professionally.

So I'm stuck between two thoughts:

1. Continue with work, gain experience, do an online degree, and focus on building my career.

2. Try to get into a regular college and experience campus life while earning a traditional degree and live a College Life which everyone experiences once in thier life.

For those who have been in a similar situation, do you think the college experience is worth going back for at 20? Or should I focus on the opportunities already in front of me and not look back?

I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who chose unconventional paths.

Jobadvisor

This is a genuinely hard question, and the fact that you're thinking carefully about it shows good self-awareness. Here's an honest take:

The "college experience" is more romanticized than real for most people. Many who went through traditional college will tell you the friendships were hit-or-miss, the parties got old, and a lot of it was expensive time-filling. The nostalgia you're seeing from peers is partly selective memory. You're not missing a guaranteed golden era — you're missing one possible version of your early 20s.

What you have is actually rare. At 20, you have freelance income, real-world skills, and a potential placement on the horizon. Most traditional college students at your age have none of that. Employers in marketing increasingly care far more about portfolio and results than where you studied. A 20-year-old with a client list beats a 23-year-old with a degree and no experience in most hiring conversations.

The online degree is a smart middle path — it checks the credential box without derailing your momentum. It won't give you campus life, but it will give you the qualification, and you can pursue it at your own pace.

The real question to ask yourself is: are you feeling FOMO about the experience itself, or are you feeling lonely and wanting more community in your life right now? Those are different problems with different solutions. If it's the latter, you don't need college — you need to find your tribe through industry events, online communities, co-working spaces, or local meetups in your field.

The honest math: Going back to regular college would cost you 3–4 years of compounding professional experience, real income, and career momentum — all to get something you can partially replicate through other means. The social experience you're mourning is real, but it's also fleeting for everyone. By 25, very few people's lives are defined by whether they lived in a dorm.

My honest advice: Stay your course. The placement opportunity in 4 months is concrete — don't trade that for something abstract. Do the online degree. And actively invest in building a social and professional community around you now, because that's the real gap, not the degree.

You're not behind. You're just on a different road, and it sounds like it's actually going somewhere.

Should I take a low-paying job that advances my future career or stay in current job?

Hello, I am a recent college graduate who is also premed. Currently, I work at a large university medical center, but doing back office, where I make $35/hr and have comprehensive health benefits, PTO, and in unionized role. I don't see it as productive though because I literally just face the computer all day, not seeing patients nor communicating with the care team. I mainly update patient demographics and verify insurance.

Recently, one of our physicians has been recruiting me into his private clinic, where I will be making $21/hr and no vision/dental benefits. Ultimately though it will allow me to gain more hands-on clinical experience and doctor interaction which would help my goal of becoming a physician myself. Also, a lot of people in my undergrad network who worked in his office are now in medical school, which I think says a lot about the experience that they had in his private practice. I do not pay for rent, as I live with family, and my biggest expenses are grocery, car, and phone bills that total around $1000/month.

I have liquid assets in HYSA and CD that will last me a full year should anything happen. I have also heard from said network of friends who used to work there--they loved the role and the physicians were professional and nice. My question is should I quit my current role and take this pay/benefit cut?

Jobadvisor

This is a pretty clear case for making the switch, given your specific situation. Here's why:

Your financial safety net is strong. You don't pay rent, your expenses are only ~$1,000/month, and even at $21/hr you're likely clearing $3,000+ per month — meaning you'd still save money, not just break even. Add in a full year of liquid backup and the financial risk is genuinely low.

The current job isn't serving your actual goal. Being premed while doing insurance verification is a real mismatch. Medical school admissions heavily weigh clinical experience — patient interaction, shadowing physicians, understanding care workflows. You're not getting any of that now, and time matters here.

The track record is the most compelling part. A network of your undergrad peers who worked in that exact clinic and are now in medical school is as close to a guarantee as you'll get. That's real social proof, not just a recruiter's pitch. It tells you the experience actually translates to what you need.

The downsides are manageable. The loss of vision/dental is real but not catastrophic — you're young, and you can buy a basic dental plan on the marketplace for a reasonable monthly cost. The pay cut stings on paper but barely touches your actual lifestyle given your living situation.

A couple of things worth confirming before you sign on:

• What are the hours/schedule like? Private clinics can sometimes mean unpredictable hours or fewer protections than your union role.
• Is there any path to a raise after 6–12 months? Worth asking upfront.
• Get a clear sense of what "hands-on" means — will you be rooming patients, taking vitals, assisting with procedures, or is it still mostly administrative?

Bottom line: the financial cushion, low expenses, and proven pipeline to med school make this a pretty straightforward yes — as long as the clinical exposure is genuinely hands-on. Confirm that last piece and take the job.

Is 55-70 hour work weeks every week not okay?

I’m in a new role at work. The manager was NOT transparent about the hours. I was told that sometimes we stay 30 minutes late, occasionally until 6pm (shift starts at 7am). Well, surprise. The shift usually lasts until 6pm-7pm EVERY DAY. We never know exactly when we’re getting out. At least twice a month we’re usually scheduled to work Saturdays as well. I tried digging my heels in saying I was only able to work until 4:30pm (usually stayed until 5). I then got told it would be insubordination if I didn’t stay until all the work (everyone’s work) was done. So, the shift has no end time. I have no life. There’s no end in sight ever. This is the normal schedule. Apparently staying 10 hours a day isn’t enough. But, at the same time, the manager says we have to cut back on the overtime, but we can roll over small work to the night shift, like filing papers. Which spares us a whole 5 minutes. It all just feels so unfair. Was I wrong by digging my heels in and trying to set a boundary?

Jobadvisor

No, you were not wrong. What you're describing is genuinely unreasonable, and here's why:

The core problem is the deception. You were hired under false pretenses. "Occasionally staying until 6pm" and "the shift has no defined end time, every day" are completely different things. That's a bait-and-switch, and it's a legitimate grievance regardless of how the manager frames it.

55-70 hour weeks are not normal or sustainable. Research consistently shows that chronic overwork leads to diminished productivity, serious health consequences, and burnout. Many countries have legal protections against this for good reason. You're not being dramatic — this is objectively a lot.

The "insubordination" framing is a red flag. Being required to stay until everyone else's work is done, with no defined end time, is not a reasonable job expectation. Threatening insubordination when you pushed back is a manipulation tactic to make you feel like the problem. You're not.

The contradiction is telling. The manager says to cut overtime while requiring you to stay indefinitely. That's not a workload problem they're trying to solve — it's a management and staffing problem being offloaded onto employees.

A few things worth considering going forward:

• Document everything — hours worked, what you were told at hiring, specific instances of being told to stay. This matters if you ever need HR or legal recourse.
• Check your employment contract — what hours were you actually hired for? That's your baseline.
• Know your labor laws — depending on your country/region, there may be legal limits on mandatory overtime, especially without proper compensation.
• Decide your real limit — not just what you say to your manager, but what you're actually willing to tolerate. That clarity helps you decide whether to escalate, transfer, or leave.

Setting a boundary around your working hours is not insubordination. It's self-preservation, and it was the right call.