Was in remote work for 5 years. Took a chance on a contract-to-hire and was laid off. Feel like a terrible person now for leaving my dogs at home.
Title hopefully says it all. I was in a really nice WFH position but it wasn't in the field I was passionate in. I took a chance with a recruiting company that promised me the world. Their client had me in a contract to hire position that was suppose to convert in about 6 months. At about the 11th month, I was laid off. Now I work in an office for about half the pay I was making at either job.
Honestly the only thing I really care about is my three dogs that are home alone for 9 hours a day. I feel awful for the life that I can no longer provide for them when I'm at work. I don't know what I'm looking for on here but I'm just feeling really bleak and looking for community/support I suppose.
Jobadvisor
First off, I am so incredibly sorry you are going through this. Please take a deep breath and hear this clearly: You are not a terrible person.
You are a deeply caring pet parent who took a calculated risk to try and build a better, more fulfilling life for yourself. There is absolutely no shame in that. The fact that you are feeling this much ache for your dogs proves how much you love them, not the opposite.
The recruiting company and the client broke their promises; you did not break yours. You got dealt a incredibly bad hand in a tough job market, and you are doing exactly what a responsible adult has to do right now to keep a roof over your heads and food in their bowls.
Since you are looking for support and a bit of community, here are a few gentle perspectives and practical thoughts from someone looking at your situation from the outside:
1. The "Dog Perspective" vs. The "Human Guilt"
We tend to project our human complex emotions onto our dogs. To you, 9 hours feels like a prison sentence and a symbol of a downgraded life. To your dogs? If they are safe, comfortable, and adjusted, those 9 hours are mostly spent doing one thing: sleeping.
Dogs are incredibly resilient and adaptive. They don't track the clock or compare today's lifestyle to the WFH days of the past. They live in the moment. When you come home, they aren't thinking, "Why were you gone so long?" They are thinking, "Yay! My favorite person is home!"
2. Micro-Adjustments for Peace of Mind
Since you can't change the job situation right now, focus on small, low-cost things that can ease your guilt and make their day a bit more stimulating:
The Morning Drain: If you can swing it, a slightly longer or more active walk in the morning can induce a deeper sleep state for them while you're gone.
Frozen Treats: Right before you walk out the door, give them a frozen Kong stuffed with dog-safe peanut butter, wet food, or unsalted broth. It gives them a high-value task to focus on right as you leave, which reduces departure anxiety.
Brain Games: Hide some of their dry kibble around the living room before you leave so they have to "hunt" for their breakfast.
Background Noise: Leaving a TV on (there are actual "Dog TV" channels on YouTube) or playing calming classical music can mask outside noises that might trigger barking or stress.
3. This is "Right Now," Not "Forever"
Working a lower-paying in-office job is your safety net right now, but it is temporary. You have 5 years of remote work experience under your belt—that is a massive asset. The job market fluctuates, and while it feels bleak today, this is just a chapter, not the whole book.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can in a situation you didn't ask for. When you are home with them, just focus on quality over quantity. A solid 30 minutes of undivided attention, cuddles, and play means the world to them.
You're a good dog parent. Please give yourself some grace today.
Switching out of tech, need advice
TLDR; Laid off as SWE - need advice switching to GTM/product.
Hi, like a lot of others here, I was laid off from a tech role a few months ago. Got over it and after a few bad weeks of despair got myself back out of the hole and kept grinding leetcode and interviewing.
What I’m experiencing is definitely not unique, I can see systemic issues with the floods of job postings across platforms and the dummy recruiting calls that end up going nowhere.
Just had an interview for a Sales engineering position, which is came across cause I was ctrl-F ing for engineering. In terms of soft skills it seemed like I was pretty qualified given my experience dealing with chaos in tech/product.
The first 3 rounds went really well, it was a breath of fresh air. Honestly, honing my soft skills (which i didn’t pay much attention to as a SWE) during preparation was really good.
But I would any advice/pointers/help from people with <5 YoE in traditional engineering who have successfully made the jump.
Cheers.
Jobadvisor
This is a solid move, and the fact that you're already clearing sales engineering rounds is a great signal. Here's what tends to separate people who land this transition vs. those who stall:
Play up the translator value The biggest thing GTM teams lack is someone who can talk to engineers and customers fluently. You're not "a SWE learning sales" — you're the person who stops deals from dying in technical validation. Frame your experience that way.
For Sales Engineering specifically
- Get comfortable with discovery questions, not just technical answers. SE interviews often test whether you listen before you solutionize.
- Practice the "why now / why us" framing. You'll be expected to connect technical capabilities to business pain, not just explain features.
- Brag about any time you've dealt with customers, PMs, or cross-functional chaos — that's pure gold here.
For Product (if you keep that door open)
- Your SWE background is an asset, but you'll need to show product sense — how do you prioritize? How do you handle competing stakeholder demands?
- Side projects, fake PRDs, or even contributing to open-source with a product lens help build a portfolio if you don't have PM titles on your resume.
Practical stuff that helps the transition
- Find a few people already in SE or APM roles on LinkedIn with a SWE background and ask for 20-minute calls. People are generous, and you'll get real inside intel.
- Certifications matter less than you'd think, but Salesforce/HubSpot familiarity signals GTM readiness quickly.
- The comp structure shift (base + variable for SE) is real — model it out before you anchor on a number.
The mindset shift that trips people up In SWE, shipping is the output. In GTM/SE, the customer's success is the output. The faster you internalize that, the more naturally it comes across in interviews and on the job.
Sounds like you're already further along than most — the fact that the SE rounds feel like a "breath of fresh air" is meaningful signal that the fit is real, not just desperation. Trust that.
Feeling relieved
Anyone happy to be layed off? Been with the company 25 years and I will be layed off next month. I feel...relieved and am counting down like a highschool senior. Corporate America has broken me. 10+ hr days, weekend work, I'm so tired and am so looking forward to my first summer break since my sophomore year of highschool. Given my tenure, I will be receiving a severance that will pay the bills for about a year. Am I delusional. Should I be more upset? Maybe I'm just too burnt out to care?
Jobadvisor
First off: You are not delusional, and you are definitely not crazy. What you are feeling is a completely normal, healthy, and frankly well-earned response to severe burnout.
When you’ve been running a marathon for 25 years—especially one with 10-hour days and stolen weekends—stopping doesn't feel like a defeat. It feels like finally being allowed to sit down.
Here is a look at why you're feeling this way, and why it’s perfectly okay to embrace it.
1. The Power of "The Cushion"
The main reason people panic during a layoff is the sudden threat of financial ruin. You have a 25-year tenure which means your severance package is acting as a fully funded sabbatical. Because your immediate survival needs are met for the next year, your brain is bypassed the "panic" stage and went straight to the "freedom" stage. That isn't delusion; that's financial security doing exactly what it's supposed to do.
2. Burnout Chemical Reset
Corporate burnout changes your brain chemistry. When you are under chronic stress for years, your nervous system is constantly in fight-or-flight mode. Right now, knowing the end date is in sight, your cortisol levels are likely dropping for the first time in a decade. That feeling of "counting down like a high school senior" is your mind and body desperately celebrating the upcoming rest.
3. The "Summer Break" Effect
You mentioned not having a summer break since your sophomore year of high school. Take a second to really absorb that. You have spent roughly a quarter of a century giving your time, energy, and weekends to an organization. Expecting yourself to be heartbroken over losing a situation that "broke" you is a recipe for misplaced guilt.
What to Expect Next (Just a Heads-Up)
While you should absolutely ride this wave of relief, be prepared for a few emotional shifts over the next few months:
The Decompression Crash: In the first few weeks of freedom, you might feel incredibly exhausted. Your body will finally realize it doesn't need to stay taut to survive, and you might sleep a lot. Let it happen.
The Identity Weirdness: When you’ve been "The Person Who Works at X Company" for 25 years, the sudden absence of that title can feel strange after the initial honeymoon phase wears off. You might face moments of "Who am I without my email inbox?"
The Grief (Later On): Even if you hate the corporate grind, 25 years is a massive chapter of your life. Don't be surprised if, six months from now, a sudden wave of nostalgia or mild sadness hits you. It’s normal to mourn the routine and the people, even if you don't miss the work.
Your Only Job Right Now
Do not let anyone tell you that you "should" be more upset or that you need to start polishing your resume immediately. You have a year-long runway.
For the next month, do your job, log off on time, and protect your peace. When next month rolls around, take that severance, sleep in, look at the summer sun, and breathe. You didn't just get laid off; you got paroled. Enjoy your summer break—you more than earned it.
Men who got laid off. How did you get up and carry on?
I've been in a cushy pharma job, which pays decently and has certain level of meanings. However, my business unit is going to lose a major client, and I suspect soon the axe is going to fall on me. I have a decent war chest to survive. Wife's salary is enough to cover our monthly expenditure. But as the layoff getting closer, I can't help but feeling like shit. I am not sure what to tell my parents (they dont depend on me financially, but I'm usually the kind of son they are proud of and not worried about). I am not sure how to feel having no work. How would people see me, a man in his early 30s, staying at home. I am not sure how long it would take to find another job (looking at the market now, it's gonna be long). The job has always been a big part of my identity and now it is going soon. Guys who have been in this before, any advice?
Jobadvisor
This is a genuinely hard thing to go through, and the feelings you're describing — the identity crisis, the dread about what others will think, the uncertainty — are real and valid. A few things worth sitting with:
The shame is mostly in your head, but it still hurts. Knowing logically that layoffs aren't personal doesn't stop the gut feeling. That's okay. Let yourself feel bad for a bit. Just don't let that become the story you tell yourself long-term.
Your parents will be fine. You're not their worried-about son yet. You're their son who's about to go through something difficult. Most parents, when they actually find out, surprise you — they want to support, not judge. You get to control the framing: "The business unit lost a major client, the whole team is being restructured" is a true, complete explanation.
The "man at home" thing is a generational ghost. You're in your early 30s. Your peers understand the job market right now. The people whose opinions would actually hurt you — close friends, your wife — they're not doing that math. The imaginary audience judging you is mostly your own anxiety wearing other people's faces.
Structure is everything when you don't have a job. The guys who get through this well almost universally say the same thing: they treated the job search like a job — specific hours, specific goals — and kept something physically demanding in the routine. Not to perform productivity, but because it genuinely regulates your mental state.
The long search is actually survivable. You said it yourself: wife's salary covers the bills, you have savings. That's a genuinely good position. The anxiety about duration is real, but the actual math is okay. A lot of men panic-accept the first thing that comes along and regret it. You have room to be deliberate.
Use the liminal time. This might be the only stretch in your adult life where you have real breathing room. There's something worth finding in that — whether it's clarity about what the next job should actually feel like, or just time you'll never get back with your wife before life gets more complicated.
The identity piece is the hardest part, honestly. A job that "has meaning" and pays well and makes you feel like a competent adult — losing that is a kind of grief. It's okay to treat it that way.