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No passion for anything
I'm 36F and got an associates in Business about 5yrs ago and never actually used. I'm going back to school to get a bachelors in CS. I dabbled in some coding and liked it and I don't mind sitting down for long hours on a keyboard. I'm still not sure if CS is the right move because I know the job market is bad and CS is very competitive but maybe that'll change by the time I graduate. I did try nursing a long time ago but I hated it and I don't have the right mindset to go into it. I'm so lost right now.
I'm more independent and prefer working alone or maybe a small group. I don't mind repetition and sitting down for long hours. I don't want a physically demanding job like warehouse, been there done that. I hate being the center of attention so I definitely do not want to be making speeches or have everyone looking at me.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you're in a really common but genuinely tough spot — you've ruled out a lot of things, you have some direction, but nothing feels certain yet. That's actually useful information.
A few thoughts:
CS seems like a reasonable fit for your personality. Independent work, long focused hours, repetition, not being the center of attention — that describes a lot of software/data roles pretty well. The fact that you liked coding when you tried it matters more than people give it credit for.
On the job market concern — it's real, but not a reason to abandon the path. A few things worth knowing:
- The market is rough right now largely due to post-pandemic overcorrection in tech hiring. The 4-year horizon before you graduate does genuinely change the calculus.
- CS skills are transferable to non-pure-tech roles (healthcare IT, finance, government, logistics) where competition is far lower than big tech.
- Your business background is actually a differentiator. Business + CS is a strong combo for roles like business analyst, product analyst, or ERP development — fields that are often overlooked but stable.
Some alternatives/complements worth considering given your profile:
- Management Information Systems (MIS) — sits between business and CS, often more employable in local/regional markets, and your associates would transfer well
- Data Analytics or Data Science — heavy on the sitting-alone-with-a-keyboard work, growing field, and often more accessible than pure SWE roles
- Cybersecurity — highly independent, repetitive, analytical work, and the job market is genuinely much better than general CS right now
- Accounting + software — your business background could fast-track you into accounting software or ERP roles (SAP, Oracle) which pay well and have low visibility
The honest truth: passion is overrated as a starting point. Many people never find a "calling" before starting — they find it through doing. Liking something enough to sit with it for hours is a better signal than most people get.
What part of coding did you actually enjoy when you tried it — building things, solving puzzles, organizing data? That might help narrow it down further.
MANAGER used racial slur in workplace
Hi, I’m looking for some advice on how to move forward with this situation. To make a long story short, I work for a major bank as a teller and yesterday my manager, let’s call her Kristy, was talking to one of my coworkers and casually said the N word. I’m black. And I’m the only black person who is working at the branch. Not to mention 75% of our clients are also black.
She didn’t acknowledge that she used a racial slur in the moment, instead she continued talking and laughing, even helped out in the drive thru and brought transactions to me to run for customers. It took everything to maintain my composure, but I’d say I handled it gracefully considering the situation.
My coworker and Kristy had been talking about video games, and Kristy spoke on how she got banned from a game server because, and I quote, “someone called [her] a n—r and [she] told them, I’m not a n——r!!”
It was a casual conversation, but still…. To just hear that word coming out of her mouth so casually, so easily, no filter! It really hurt.
Later that evening Kristy texted me and asked me if she could call me. I didn’t respond. I called our HR department this morning but couldn’t talk to anyone. I was only able to submit a concern and I won’t hear back for 2-3 business days.
Another coworker heard my manager and also submitted a concern to HR the moment it happened.
Here’s some interesting backstory as well:
Another black employee who had been working for this bank for a number of years got fired 3 weeks ago and warned me Kristy was racist. She also notified the team that was terminating her of this as well and is currently working with an attorney. I took this info with a grain of salt originally, but now I definitely believe it.
How would an HR team handle this type of situation? We absolutely have a code of ethics policies in place, but what typically happens after it gets reported. I’m also a little afraid of being retaliated against and singled out more than I already feel…. But I need to hold on to this job until I can find something else.
Jobadvisor
First, I want to say that your reaction — maintaining your composure, documenting what happened, and reporting it — was exactly the right approach, and it took real strength. What you experienced was genuinely harmful, and your concerns are completely valid.
Here me walk you through what typically happens and what you can do to protect yourself.
What HR typically does in this situation
When a racial slur complaint is filed against a manager at a major bank, HR generally follows a structured process:
- Acknowledgment & intake — They log your concern and assign an investigator, often from Employee Relations or a dedicated investigations team.
- Investigation — They interview you, the manager, witnesses (your coworker who also filed is huge here), and review any documentation. The fact that two people reported it independently strengthens your case significantly.
- Decision — Outcomes range from mandatory training, formal written warnings, demotion, or termination. At a major bank with a strong code of ethics, using a racial slur — even "casually" — is typically treated very seriously.
- Follow-up with you — They're required to close the loop, though they may not share exactly what action was taken against Kristy.
What works in your favor
- A corroborating witness who filed immediately — this is very strong evidence
- The prior employee's complaint about Kristy (an attorney is involved, which means there may already be a paper trail)
- You're at a major bank, which has significant legal and reputational incentive to handle this properly
- You documented it quickly and contacted HR within 24 hours
Protecting yourself from retaliation
Retaliation after a discrimination complaint is illegal under federal law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act). Here's how to protect yourself:
- Document everything from this point forward. Keep a personal log (on your personal phone or email, not work systems) of dates, times, what was said, and who was present — especially any changes in how Kristy treats you.
- Note your performance baseline now. If you have recent positive reviews or feedback, save copies. Any sudden negative evaluations after this complaint can be evidence of retaliation.
- Be professional and consistent at work. Don't give anyone a reason to build a case against you.
- If anything changes in how you're treated, report it to HR immediately and reference your original complaint.
Steps I'd recommend you take right now
- Write everything down today — the exact words used, the context, the time, who was present, Kristy's text asking to call you, everything — while it's fresh. Keep this somewhere personal, not on work devices.
- Don't respond to Kristy's text (at least not without thinking it through). If you do respond, keep it neutral. That text she sent is also worth documenting — it suggests she knew something was wrong.
- Consult an employment attorney — many offer free consultations. Given that there's already a former employee working with an attorney over Kristy, you may have more leverage than you realize. An attorney can advise you on your specific rights in your state.
- Contact the EEOC if HR doesn't respond satisfactorily. You can file a charge at eeoc.gov. There are time limits (typically 180–300 days), so it's worth knowing this option exists.
You handled a painful situation with real dignity. The fact that you're being thoughtful and strategic about this — rather than reactive — puts you in a strong position. You deserve a workplace where you feel safe, and the law is on your side here.
Recruiter said “hopefully will have an update after this week” — now it’s Friday afternoon and silence after 6+ interviews?
“Hi __,
Thanks for reaching out.
The team is still doing some round 2 interviews this week so hopefully will have an update after this week for you.
Hope it’s a good update!
Thanks,”
This particular company has now put me through 3 different role processes over the span of a couple months — 6+ interviews total — and still no confirmed offer lol. Recruiter sent this Monday and it’s now Friday afternoon with no update yet.
What are we thinking here?
PSA: don’t work in entertainment unless you’re comfortable dealing with ambiguity 24/7 during hiring processes 🤣
Jobadvisor
Ugh, the Friday afternoon silence after "hopefully have an update" is a specific kind of torture. A few reads on the situation:
The neutral/optimistic read: "After this week" technically means end of week or even early next week. Recruiters rarely send update emails on Friday afternoons — they either have good news locked and ready, or they're waiting until Monday when decision-makers are back and paperwork is signed off. No news today might just be logistics.
The realistic read: Round 2 interviews were still happening this week, which means they haven't even finished collecting input yet. A decision probably isn't coming until early next week at the earliest, and the recruiter may have been optimistic with that timeline.
The "this company specifically" read: Three role processes, 6+ interviews, months of this — their hiring machine is just genuinely slow and chaotic. This silence is probably more about their dysfunction than your candidacy status.
What I'd do: Send a short, warm check-in Monday morning if you haven't heard anything. Not Friday — it puts pressure on a rushed timeline and rarely gets a useful response. Monday gives them the weekend to wrap things up and you look composed rather than anxious.
The "hope it's a good update!" line from the recruiter is worth noting — that's a small but real signal they're rooting for you, not ghosting you.
Entertainment hiring really is its own beast. Want me to draft that Monday follow-up so it's ready to go?