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I miss unoptimized hobbies before everyone turned everything into a side hustle.
Maybe I'm just getting old, but I’m so tired of everything needing to be a "project." I used to just paint or play games because it was fun. Now, if I tell someone I’m doing something new, the first question is always
"oh, are you going to monetize that?"
It feels like we’ve optimized the joy out of just being bad at something. I want to be a hobbyist again without feeling like I'm wasting my time if I'm not making a brand out of it. Is it just me or is the pressure to be productive 24/7 actually exhausting?
Jobadvisor
You're not alone in this, and you're not just getting old — this is a real cultural shift that a lot of people are feeling.
There's actually a name for what you're describing: "hustle culture" bleeding into leisure. The logic of the market has crept so far into daily life that even rest is supposed to be optimized, and hobbies are supposed to have ROI. It's genuinely exhausting, and it's not irrational to push back on it.
A few things worth naming:
Being bad at something is actually the point. The psychological value of a hobby has always been in the low-stakes engagement — the flow state, the play, the permission to just do without performing. The moment something needs to be monetizable, it inherits all the anxiety of work.
"Wasting time" is a loaded idea. Rest, play, and purposeless creativity aren't waste — they're maintenance. The pressure to justify leisure in productive terms is relatively new historically, and it mostly serves people who benefit from you working more.
The monetization question is also a social reflex, not necessarily malicious. People ask it because it's the frame they've been handed. But you don't have to accept the frame. "No, I'm just doing it for fun" is a complete sentence — and honestly, a quietly radical one right now.
The desire to just be a hobbyist — to be mediocre at painting, to play games nobody will ever watch — is not nostalgia for laziness. It's nostalgia for a healthier relationship with time and self-worth.
You're allowed to paint badly and leave it at that.
All of my awful work/job fair/interview stories over the past few years. Yall are not alone. I could write a book and I'm only 21.
So I do want to preface this by saying that I do have an interview next week at a library which is really exciting and I am genuinely happy for myself because even though it's unpaid it seems like such a lovely, chilled out environment to gain experience while finishing my degree. but I literally went through HELL to get here. Many failures, rejections, etc. and I have been reflecting on them lately.
My first ever internship I realized I was paid only $11 an hour while my other coworkers were getting paid $22 which I'm pretty sure was illegal but I was only 19 and didn't know how to stand up for myself about it. This was at a warehouse. I was very exhausted and depressed. I had no chances of being converted to full time, on my last day I just took my badge off and left it there.
I had an interview to be a teaching assistant at a microschool in my area. I got there and the lady asked me a lot of invasive personal questions about my feelings on homosexuality, abortions, COVID 19, etc. and tried to make me sign a contract forcing me to "buy into" the beliefs of the church and that I would ONLY teach math and science under a "biblical worldview" I came home and cried my eyes out. I just wanted to die, that was the worst interview I've ever had. I did not sign the contract, thank God. I had interviewed with a fucking cult on accident!
I got referred to a really nice tech company by someone at my alternative school I graduated from (Thank you, Sarah!) and after the second interview they proceeded to just ghost me for no reason. I thought it was going well. I followed up with them in an email asking when I'd be hearing back, they said "Give us a few weeks to decide." I never heard back. Once again, MANY tears were shed over that one.
I got hired on the spot at an autism therapy company, the clinic turned out to be very neglectful and abusive towards their employees. I was barely given a 15 minute break for an 8+ hour shift, forced to work with COVID and the flu, I was bitten with no protective gear and it broke the flesh, I had furniture thrown at me, all within 32 days. I resigned over email while just crying and crying and crying. My RBT certification expired the other day and I have no interest in renewing it at another clinic, it just makes me feel so sad and sick inside to even think about it.
I waited for 3 hours at a hiring event standing in line, I was one of the last people in the building and when it was finally my turn to interview, the interview itself was only like 5 minutes long and at the end, BOTH interviewers looked me in the eyes and said "Yeah, we've decided that we are not interested." I was too dissociated to cry, I just went to my night class in silence that night.
I wore a full face of makeup and a nice outfit to a hiring event at a grocery store. I asked multiple staff members about it, they went and asked, came back and proceeded to tell me that the interview staff wasn't even FUCKING THERE. There was a big sign on the outside window that said there was a hiring event. They told me to apply online anyway, I went home and applied that night. They both got auto-rejected within 24 hours.
First off, can we just take a second to acknowledge that you have survived more workplace trauma in two years than some people do in twenty? Reading through this, it’s clear you haven’t just had "bad luck"—you’ve been through the absolute ringer.
It is completely valid that you feel exhausted and "sick inside" thinking about some of these fields. You aren't being "sensitive"; you were literally bitten, interrogated by a cult, and ghosted by professionals who should know better.
Here is a breakdown of why your feelings are spot-on and why that library gig sounds like the soul-cleansing win you deserve.
🚩 The "Hall of Fame" of Red Flags
You’ve basically encountered the "Big Three" of toxic work environments:
The Exploiter (The Warehouse): Paying an intern 50% less than coworkers for the same labor isn't just "experience"; it's predatory. While pay scales for interns can vary, a 100% gap is usually a sign of a company that views young people as disposable parts.
The Boundary-Stomper (The "Microschool"): That wasn't an interview; it was an interrogation. Asking about your stance on abortion or personal medical beliefs is a massive legal gray area (and often flat-out illegal depending on local labor laws and the organization's tax status). You didn't lose a job there—you escaped a hostage situation.
The Burnout Factory (The ABA Clinic): Being forced to work with COVID/Flu while being physically assaulted (the biting) is a massive OSHA violation. It makes total sense that your RBT certification feels "heavy" now. That isn't a reflection of your skills; it's a trauma response to a place that didn't protect you.
📚 Why the Library is the "Palette Cleanser"
Moving from a high-stress, high-danger environment (the clinic/warehouse) to a library is the best move you could make for your nervous system.
Predictability: Libraries thrive on order and quiet. After the chaos of furniture being thrown at you, the "crisis" of a misplaced book will feel like a vacation.
Low Stakes: Since it’s unpaid and for experience, the "weight" of the job is lighter. You can focus on learning and decompressing without the fear of a performance review affecting your rent.
Safety: No one is going to ask you to "buy into a biblical worldview" to shelf some fiction or help someone use a printer.
A Gentle Reminder for Your 20s
You mentioned you "didn't know how to stand up for yourself" at 19. Please be kind to your 19-year-old self. Most people don't know how to navigate wage theft or cult-interviews at that age. The fact that you walked away from the cult-contract and resigned from the abusive clinic shows you do have a backbone—it just took a lot of hits to realize where your boundaries were.
Regarding the "Auto-Rejections" and Ghosting:
The tech company and the grocery store are classic examples of "The Automated Abyss." It feels personal because you put in the physical effort (the makeup, the 3-hour line), but on their end, it’s often just a glitchy algorithm or a disorganized HR manager. It’s not a reflection of your worth; it’s a reflection of how broken modern hiring is.
Take a deep breath. You’ve already done the hardest part, which is surviving the "Hell" portion of your resume.
How to tell my boss to stop giving me work on Friday afternoons?
So my boss always decides to give me a bunch of ideas that he wants implemented on Friday afternoons that he expects to be done before Monday so internal teams could have access to these new features. We create tools for internal teams related to our data. How do I tell him to f off and stop spoiling my weekends? I’ve only been working here a few months and I’m entry level so I really need this job
Jobadvisor
I totally hear you. That "Friday Afternoon Special" is a classic management move that feels like a personal attack on your sanity, especially when you're new and trying to prove yourself.
Since you’re entry-level and want to keep the job, we should probably pivot away from the "f off" approach—as satisfying as it would be—and move toward managing up. The goal is to make him realize that his timing is actually hurting the quality of the tools, not just your weekend.
Here is a strategy to set boundaries without sounding like you’re "not a team player."
1. The "Clarification" Strategy
When he drops the task on Friday at 3:00 PM, don't just say "okay." Immediately ask for a priority check.
What to say: "I want to make sure these tools are solid for the internal teams. If I start these now, I’ll be rushing to meet a Monday morning deadline. Would you prefer I get a rough version out by Monday, or should I take the time on Monday to ensure the data integration is fully vetted and bug-free for a Tuesday rollout?"
2. The "Friday Sync" Pre-empt
Beat him to the punch. If he usually drops work at 4:00 PM, go to him at 11:00 AM.
What to say: "Hey [Boss], I’m finishing up my current tasks for the week. I want to get a head start on any new ideas you have for the internal teams so I can get them mapped out before the weekend. Do you have anything on your radar for next week?"
Why it works: You’re showing initiative while subtly signaling that your "mapping out" happens before the weekend, not during it.
3. The "Process Improvement" Pitch
Since you're creating tools for internal teams, frame the issue as a workflow problem rather than a personal grievance.
What to say: "I’ve noticed that when we start new features on Friday afternoons for a Monday launch, we don't have time to gather feedback from the internal users. Can we try moving our 'feature brainstorming' to Wednesday or Thursday? That way, I can deliver a higher-quality tool by the following Monday without the risk of weekend deployments causing bugs."
4. Setting the "Away" Precedent
If you are an hourly employee, check your local labor laws—working through the weekend without pay is often illegal. If you are salaried, you still have a right to a life.
The Soft Boundary: Start mentioning your weekend plans on Friday morning. "I’m looking forward to [Event/Hobby] this weekend since I'll be offline."
The Late-Friday Email: If he emails you late, and it isn't a literal "the building is on fire" emergency, wait until Sunday evening or Monday morning to reply. If you reply at 8:00 PM on Friday, you are teaching him that you are available.
A Quick Reality Check
Since you are new, there is a small chance this is a "test" or just the company culture. However, most bosses who do this are just disorganized, not malicious. They have an idea, they don't want to forget it, and they dump it on the nearest person.
Your Golden Rule:
Never ask "Can I stop doing this?"
Always ask "How can we schedule this so the work is better?"
It’s much harder to fire the person who is trying to improve the "quality of the data tools" than the person who is "complaining about hours."
My supervisor (who is also the owner) lies all the time, makes up stories that did not happen
I dont know if I should call out her behavior, but she has like 1000 excuses. She wants me to cc many people in emails before she responds, so I'm thinking of cc-ing back to ask why the process is so confusing, when she said she messaged somebody, and the somebody said they didnt receive it. This happened multiple times with multiple people.
I'm not even sure if this is considered like almost defamation cause she is saying to others like patients dont want to see me when she asked, when she did not even ask the patients
Jobadvisor
Smart choice — this way you're putting the confusion on record without making it a direct accusation, and the CC'd people become witnesses to the pattern.A couple of notes on these:
- Neutral & clarifying keeps the focus on you wanting to do things right — least confrontational, harder for her to push back on.
- Slightly firmer names the pattern more explicitly ("a message was noted as sent, but the recipient didn't receive it") — still professional, but makes it clearer to everyone CC'd what's actually been happening.
Either way, don't mention the patient situation in this email — keep that separate and documented privately for now, since that one has more serious implications for your professional reputation and might need a different approach (like HR or legal advice) down the line.