When Michael Toribio became a father in 2021, a promotion to assistant principal felt about a year away. Then he did the math — 12-hour days, expensive child care — and took a remote job with a 30% pay cut instead. He hasn't looked back.
"We've saved so much money in child care by having that flexibility," said the 34-year-old Orlando educator turned digital curriculum worker. His wife keeps a hybrid schedule as a university academic adviser. Together, they made it work.
Toribio is far from alone. A new study from the American Institute for Boys and Men finds that college-educated fathers are working six fewer hours a week than before the pandemic and spending more than four additional hours on housework and child care. The shift is striking precisely because it follows two decades of near-stagnation, a period when fathers' domestic contributions barely moved even as millions of mothers entered the workforce.
Researchers are careful to distinguish this trend from simple economic pressure. Employment among fathers has stayed stable — the labor-force participation rate held near 94% in 2025, and unemployment for dads with kids under six sat at just 2.8%. These men aren't scaling back because they can't find work. They're choosing differently.
"Instead of spending those extra hours trying to get ahead or meet a deadline, those hours are going to family now," said study author and economist Ariel Binder.
Women's rising earnings are likely part of what's making that choice possible. Women now earn the majority of master's and doctoral degrees, and the share of couples where the wife earns as much or more than the husband has grown significantly. Economist Misty Heggeness of the University of Kansas frames it plainly: women now have more power to shape household arrangements on their own terms.
"I'm not sure a souring labor market would reverse this," she said. "It might actually accelerate it."
Tech worker Mike Anderson made his version of the trade in 2021, turning down a CTO role worth $130,000 more per year to stay remote and present after moving his family to rural northern Georgia.
"I've never regretted it a single second," said the 48-year-old. More time with his wife, his parents, his now-grown kids. Time to travel, volunteer, hit the gym. No commute.
Less money. Happy to take it.