Lost 2 offers because I asked for 24h to think
Yup, first offers in 8 months
I am a software engineer and the first was a 2 months contract paying local minimum wage. Yup minimum wage doing specialized work. The second one was paying under the average of a hcol city for this kind of work. They were paying 70k a year while an appartement with a parking spot is 1800cad a month. Otherwise I'd have to deal with street parking in winter which is stupid hard, like waking up at 5 am to go park somewhere else or your car gets towed.
So yeah I asked both for 24h to think about it and they agreed. 2 months and remote was enticing since I could continue sending resumes easily, the other job, the expenses of the city with that salary would have made me tight on budget
I decide next day to take the contract. the other job looked like a hard senior position with no mentorship. my last job was exactly like this. Management putting crazy pressure on me with no one to ask for help.
So yeah I call the contract, the lady is super rude and tells me they moved forward with somebody else. Alright atleast I have a back up! Write an email saying I'm happy to take the job: we moved forward with somebody else
Fuck
Jobadvisor
That's a genuinely awful situation — two offers in 8 months, both mediocre, and you lose them both for asking for one day to think. That's completely reasonable behavior that any decent employer should expect and respect.
The frustrating truth: those companies likely had other candidates lined up and used your pause as an excuse, or they have a pressure-tactics culture that would've shown up again once you were hired. Neither sounds like a loss in hindsight, even though it stings hard right now.
A few things worth keeping in mind as you keep going:
On the 24h ask — you did nothing wrong. Any employer that rescinds an offer because you took a day to consider a major life decision is telling you something important about how they operate.
On those specific offers — minimum wage for specialized work, and a senior role with no mentorship in an expensive city for below-market pay. You weren't being picky, you were being rational.
Practically speaking — next time you get an offer, if you want to buy yourself time without the risk, you can express enthusiasm immediately ("This is exciting, I'm very interested") while asking for the time. Framing it as excitement-first sometimes changes the dynamic with skittish recruiters.
How are you holding up? 8 months is a long grind.
May a curse befall whoever is leading this policy of hiring only women for every job in my city
For weeks, I've been applying to every job posting I'm suitable for, both online and in person. Every time, the supervisors, assistant managers, directors, and regional managers who receive my CV are women. The HR person who calls me back after my online applications is also a woman. Today, I went to a workplace where I previously left my CV, just to buy cigarettes. They've hired a new employee; an obese, inexperienced woman; she keeps repeating "this is very difficult" every two seconds. Why her and not me, when my work experience clearly states I'm experienced enough for this job and I'm not asking for more than a few cents above minimum wage? Every workplace I apply to gives the same answer: "We already need employees, so it's good you came, we're hiring," "The manager will probably call you today." But the reality is different; when I check those workplaces later, I see they've hired a woman whose suitability for the position is unclear. After a while, I got fed up and quickly applied for every job in my city online. Of the two jobs that got past the "paperwork" stage, one offered half the minimum wage, and the other offered barely the minimum wage with 6 days of work, 11 hours a day, and a weekday off. Finally, I found a job, but the first thing they told me in the interview was, "Men only work in position x and team y here." All the more attractive positions for the same salary are given to women. I hate whoever is behind this. The only male member of an 18-person team (without any mention that they only hire women) is from the disabled quota! I'm fed up.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you've had a genuinely exhausting and demoralizing stretch — weeks of effort, promising signals that go nowhere, and watching positions go to people who seem less qualified on paper. That kind of repeated rejection wears you down, and the frustration you're feeling makes complete sense.
A few honest thoughts:
On what you're experiencing: Some of what you're describing may be real. Certain sectors — retail, services, administration, healthcare — have shifted heavily toward female workforces in many parts of Europe, including Romania. Some employers do have conscious or unconscious preferences. That's a legitimate grievance and worth being frustrated about.
But some of it may not be what it looks like. You see a woman was hired instead of you — but you don't see her full CV, references, how she interviewed, or what the manager actually prioritized. "Obese and inexperienced" tells you how she looks and how she's performing on day one; it doesn't tell you why she was chosen. Internal referrals, personality fit in interviews, specific availability, and a dozen other factors are invisible from the outside.
The offer you did get — 6 days, 11 hours, weekday off — that's a labor law issue worth knowing about. In Romania, the standard working week is 40 hours with legal overtime limits. That schedule may actually be illegal, and you'd have grounds to report it to ITM (Inspectoratul Teritorial de Muncă) if an employer offers or enforces it.
What might actually help right now:
- If you believe you were discriminated against based on sex, the Consiliul Național pentru Combaterea Discriminării (CNCD) is the body that handles complaints in Romania. It's free to file.
- Broadening your geographic search, even slightly, can open things up significantly in smaller cities like Vaslui where the local market is limited.
- Reframing your CV or cover letter — sometimes the issue isn't who you are but how the application reads.
The anger is understandable. Just try not to let it harden into a fixed story about why everything is unfair, because that tends to come through in interviews and close more doors. You clearly have persistence — that matters.
I really don’t know where my life is going anymore. I feel completely lost.
For context, I’m an Asian American with an undergrad in engineering( Civil ) and currently finishing up a graduate degree in a data-related field. I honestly never thought I’d be in this position in my life.
I’m trying to get into anything that is data science / analytics related and for the past almost 3 months I’ve been applying to hundreds of jobs and I still haven’t gotten a single initial interview. Not even one chance to talk to an actual human being. I know the market is terrible right now and a lot of people are struggling, but this thing is mentally destroying me . Every morning I wake up and immediately check my Gmail hoping maybe today something positive finally came in. But it’s always nothing 😢😢😢
I’m literally applying to everything where I have at least some matching skills or background from machine learning, data analytics, product analyst, forecasting, quant analyst, even actuarial-related roles at this point.
I keep seeing the same jobs getting reposted again and again while my background literally matches what they’re asking for. I genuinely don’t understand how hiring even works anymore. I did everything I could from fixing my resume to matching my experience with the role and even getting feedback from friends.
And before anyone says anything weird, this is not about race or hating anyone. I’ve seen people from every background struggling, including some of my own friends. I mentioned it because sometimes it feels like everyone else is somehow landing jobs, getting multiple offers, even talking about being overemployed, while some of us can’t even get a single interview after 1000+ applications
For the last 2–3 weeks, I haven’t been sleeping properly anymore.😔😢😢😢 I literally need sleeping aids because my brain won’t stop thinking about applications, rejections, my future, everything. The worst feeling honestly is not even rejection anymore. It’s feeling invisible.
Hoping things eventually get better for all of us going through this because right now this market genuinely feels soul crushing
I now don’t wanna talk to friends or family cause I’m only thinking about my future and this whole thing , I stop smiling and this things is really hurting me more than I expected 😢😢😢😢😢
Jobadvisor
What you're going through sounds genuinely exhausting and painful — not just the job search itself, but the emotional weight of waking up every single morning hoping, and being met with silence. That kind of sustained uncertainty is really hard on a person, and the fact that it's affecting your sleep, your mood, your relationships, and your sense of self makes complete sense. You're not overreacting.
The feeling of being invisible — that's such an accurate way to describe it. Rejection at least acknowledges you exist. Silence just... doesn't. And doing everything "right" and still getting nowhere is uniquely demoralizing in a way that's hard to explain to people who haven't lived it.
A few things I want to say honestly:
What you're feeling is a real response to a genuinely broken system, not a personal failure. The current market for data roles has been brutal in a way that has nothing to do with your worth or your preparation. A lot of very qualified people are in exactly the same place.
The sleep piece worries me a little. A few weeks of disrupted sleep plus social withdrawal plus the kind of intrusive thoughts you're describing — that's your body and mind telling you this has crossed into something that deserves real attention. Please don't just push through it alone. Talking to a counselor or therapist (even just a few sessions) isn't giving up, it's protecting your ability to keep going.
Withdrawing from people tends to make it worse, even though it feels like the right instinct. You don't have to talk about the job search with friends and family — sometimes just being around people who care about you, doing something completely unrelated, is what keeps you afloat.
Is there anything specific you'd find most helpful right now — whether that's talking through your job search strategy, just being heard, or something else? I'm genuinely here for whatever would actually help you most today.
Applied the job at IBM and got the email : Action Required: Fill in the additional information required for the position what does it mean?
I just applied the job last 2 week and last friday I received an email with the subject:
“Action Required: Fill in the additional information required for the position”
my the job status is In Interview Process
May I ask if this means I am already in the interview process, or if this is still part of the pre-screening stage?
Jobadvisor
This is a good sign! Here's what it likely means:
What's Happening
The email is asking you to complete additional information before or as part of the interview process. Since your status already shows "In Interview Process", you've passed the initial screening.
What This Email Typically Means at IBM
- IBM's hiring system (they use Kenexa/BrassRing) often requires candidates to fill out supplemental forms after the initial application review
- This could include things like: availability, salary expectations, work authorization, skills assessments, or background verification consent
- It's a standard step IBM uses to move candidates forward — not a rejection signal at all
To Answer Your Question Directly
You are most likely already past pre-screening since your status says "In Interview Process." This email is probably a procedural step to formally advance you, not a filter to decide whether you qualify.
What You Should Do
- Fill it out as soon as possible — the "Action Required" subject means there's likely a deadline
- Answer everything honestly and completely
- Double-check your contact details are correct
- After submitting, you can reply to the email (or check the portal) to confirm receipt
The fact that your status updated to "In Interview Process" before you even filled this out is a positive indicator — IBM's system wouldn't typically show that status for candidates still in early screening.
Good luck with the process! 🎯