28, two useless degrees, and never had a stable job

I am 28 years old and live with my parents, making a pittance with part-time work. Yes, I know I am a pathetic loser, I am trying to figure out how to change my situation.

In 2020, I graduated with a BA in history. In 2023, I got an MSc in International Politics. Yes, I now realize these degrees were a mistake, but there is no use crying over spilt milk.

I have never had a long-term job, just several short-term ones. I briefly worked in market research between college and postgraduate school. Anterior my MSc, I worked with RFPs for two months (total disaster), and spent eight months as a pharmacy casheir. I am currently in Latin America, where I teach English to adults.

My main issue is that I have virtually no concrete skills as I have just had a series of gigs rather than a proper career.

Jobadvisor

First off, stop calling yourself a pathetic loser — that framing isn't accurate and it's not helping you think clearly. You're 28 with international experience, two degrees, and a genuine desire to change. That's a starting point, not a verdict.

Let me give you an honest assessment of where you actually stand:

What you have that's more valuable than you think

Your degrees aren't useless — they're just not sufficient on their own. History and International Politics train you to research, synthesize complex information, write analytically, and understand context. Those are real skills. The problem is they're invisible until you attach them to something concrete.

Your work history is also more coherent than it feels. Market research → RFPs → pharmacy → English teaching abroad shows adaptability and a pattern of taking whatever work was available. That's not shameful; it's just unstrategic. The goal now is to get strategic.

The most realistic paths forward from your position

Given your background, a few directions have a realistic on-ramp without starting from scratch:

• English language teaching → corporate training or instructional design. You're already doing this. Adult education is a legitimate field. Moving from teaching English to designing training programs or e-learning content for companies is a natural step up, and companies pay well for it.

• Research and analysis roles. Your degrees actually do qualify you for entry-level roles in policy research, think tanks, NGOs, or market research firms. You've already done market research. That's a foot in the door worth going back to.

• Project coordination / operations. Your RFP work, even if it felt like a disaster, means you've touched procurement and proposal writing. Many people haven't. Operations, project coordination, and administrative roles in international organizations or nonprofits are realistic.

• Content and communications. A history MSc means you can write. Content strategy, grant writing, and communications roles at nonprofits or mission-driven companies are accessible without a portfolio from scratch.

The most important thing you can do right now

Pick one direction and get one concrete credential or project that proves the skill. Not five directions — one. A Google Project Management certificate, a short UX research course, one published piece of writing, one volunteer research project. The goal is to make your invisible skills visible to an employer.

Where are you hoping to end up geographically, and do any of those directions feel more interesting to you than the others? That'll help narrow it down further.

Underachieving 25 yo neet, stuck on parent's house

I'm nearing 25 and gotten depressed with the fact that it hasn't amounted to anything. All while my relatives are getting their life together, i've stayed reclused in my childhood bedroom for years and avoided some signifcant milestones, which has greatly affected my self-esteem. It doesn't help that i'm socially inept and not skilled enough despite going to community college to study graphic design. The only consistent thing in my life has been going to the gym, and yet i go straight back to doomscroll on social media and play video games all day.

If there's a light on the end of the tunnel, what do you suggest i do to reclaim my life back?

Jobadvisor

This is a really honest post, and it takes self-awareness to write something like this — so you're not as far gone as you feel.

A few things worth saying plainly:

25 is genuinely not late. It feels catastrophic because of how social comparison works (relatives, social media feeds), but most people who "have it together" at 25 are actually just better at performing stability. The comparison is rigged against you.

The gym is a bigger deal than you're giving it credit for. You've maintained one hard, disciplined habit through depression and isolation. That's real. It means you can build systems — you've already proven it.

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Here's what I'd actually suggest, roughly in order:

1. Address the depression first, not last. Everything else — motivation, social skills, career — is downstream of mental health. If you're genuinely depressed (and it sounds like you are), therapy or even a GP conversation about medication can change the baseline you're working from. This isn't a detour, it's the foundation.

2. Use the graphic design skills you have, even imperfectly. You don't need to be "skilled enough" to start. Make stuff. Post it. Offer to do small jobs for free or cheap on Fiverr, Reddit, local businesses. The portfolio and confidence come from doing, not from more studying.

3. Attack the doomscrolling/gaming directly. Not by willpower — that doesn't work. By friction. Delete social media apps from your phone. Use site blockers (Cold Turkey, Freedom). Schedule gaming as a reward after output, not a default state. Your brain is stuck in a loop, and you have to structurally disrupt it.

4. Get out of the bedroom physically. A library, a coffee shop, anywhere. Environment shapes behavior more than motivation does. You can't think your way out of a room you never leave.

5. One micro-goal, not a life overhaul. Not "fix everything." Something like: apply to 3 small freelance gigs this week, or reach out to one person. Momentum starts small and compounds.

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The honest truth is that the reclusion + social media combination is specifically engineered to keep you stuck — it gives just enough dopamine to survive but not enough to grow. You already sense that, which is why you're posting this.

You have time. You have a working body and a real skill set. The path out is narrower than it looks from inside the bedroom.

No response from HR

My manager denied my use of my sick time two weeks ago. He claimed that to use my sick time I would need to find my own coverage, because I didn’t give enough notice per the policy. The policy doesn’t give a minimum required amount of notice, only needs to be prior to requesting the time, and NYS law states that I cannot be required to find my own coverage. At the end of the shift, I emailed our HR asking for clarification on why I was denied and sited the policy and NYS labor laws. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard back from them yet, what should I say in my follow up email to not sound agitated and impatient? My next step is to contact the NYS Department of Labor if I don’t get a response to my follow up by this Friday.

Jobadvisor

It is completely understandable that you’re feeling frustrated. Two weeks is a long time to wait for a response regarding legal labor rights, especially when your manager is asking you to do something that—as you correctly noted—is explicitly prohibited under New York State Paid Sick Leave (NYPSL).

In New York, employers cannot require you to find a replacement as a condition for using sick leave. They also cannot deny leave for "lack of notice" if the need was unforeseeable.

To keep your follow-up professional and "solution-oriented" (while still creating a paper trail for the Department of Labor), you should focus on seeking a status update rather than re-litigating the law in the first sentence.

Draft: Follow-Up Email to HR

Subject: Follow-up: Clarification on Sick Leave Policy and NYS Compliance

Dear [HR Contact Name or "HR Team"],

I am writing to follow up on my email from [Date of original email] regarding a recent instance where my request to use New York State Paid Sick Leave was declined by my manager.

I haven’t received a response yet and would appreciate a clarification on the company’s current policy. As I mentioned in my previous message, my understanding of the NYS Paid Sick Leave law is that employees cannot be required to find their own coverage as a condition for using their accrued time.

I want to ensure I am following the correct internal procedures while remaining in alignment with state labor regulations. Could you please provide an update on this inquiry by the end of the week?

Thank you for your time and assistance with this matter.

Best regards,

[Your Name]

[Your Employee ID/Department]

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Key Tips for the Process

• The "Friday" Deadline: You don't need to tell them you are contacting the Department of Labor (DOL). Keeping that "next step" private gives you more leverage and prevents them from getting defensive or retaliatory before you've even filed.

• Documentation is King: Save a copy of your sent emails (and any BCCs to a personal address). If you have a copy of the employee handbook where the policy is written, save that too.

• Retaliation Protection: NYS law has very strong anti-retaliation provisions. If your manager treats you differently because you questioned this, that is an additional violation you can report to the DOL.

What to do if they don't respond by Friday

If Friday afternoon rolls around with no word, you can move forward with the NYS Department of Labor (LS223 form). They take "finding your own coverage" violations very seriously because it's one of the most common ways employers try to circumvent the law.

WTD - asked to manage out high performer.

I’ve posted here before about gender bias I’m seeing in our workplace. I’m now being asked by my boss to manage out my report, a senior woman. However negative feedback from me would largely be a fabrication; and she has a lot of positive feedback from peers. I’ve asked him for specifics and was told ‘she’s just bad’. I’m concerned about risk for me of fabricating a performance issue, esp when I’m seeing a larger pattern. But if I push back then that is also risky for me. Would love some advice.

Jobadvisor

This is a genuinely difficult situation, and your instincts to be concerned are well-founded — both ethically and legally.

What you're being asked to do carries real risk for you personally. Fabricating a performance record to justify termination of a protected-class employee (where gender bias may be a factor) could expose you to personal liability, not just your company. "I was just following orders" is not a defense that holds up well in employment discrimination cases, and you'd be the one signing the documentation.

A few things worth thinking through:

Document everything, starting now. Write down exactly what your boss said, when, and any witnesses. Keep this somewhere outside of company systems (personal email, personal notes). If this ever becomes a legal matter, contemporaneous notes are valuable. This protects you regardless of what you decide to do next.

You have more options than "comply" or "refuse outright." The middle path is to ask for specifics relentlessly and in writing. Reply to your boss by email: "To move forward I'll need concrete documented performance issues. Can you send me examples I can use as the basis for a PIP?" This forces him to either produce something legitimate or put his vague reasoning in writing. Most people doing something improper don't want to document it.

Consider the HR angle carefully. Going to HR can protect you, but HR works for the company, not you. If you do go to HR, frame it as seeking guidance on process to protect the company from legal risk — not as a complaint against your boss. That framing makes it harder to dismiss and creates a paper trail without you appearing adversarial.

Know your own exposure. If you're in the US, Title VII protects employees from retaliation for opposing discriminatory practices — including when a manager pushes back on being asked to carry out what they reasonably believe is discrimination. You're not without protections here, though they're imperfect.

Talk to an employment attorney before doing anything major. A 30-minute consult is often free or cheap and would give you a much clearer picture of your specific exposure and options. This is worth doing before you take any significant action — comply, refuse, or escalate.

The hardest truth here: the situation you're describing — a pattern of gender bias, a high-performer being pushed out, vague justifications — is the kind of thing that sometimes ends careers (your boss's, the company's reputation) when it surfaces. You don't want to be holding the pen when it does.