Lately, I've noticed that everyday etiquette just isn't what it used to be. Call me old-fashioned, but I sometimes find myself missing the days before smartphones, digital communications, and AI took over our lives. Our devices have stolen a huge chunk of our attention — attention that could otherwise be directed toward the people right in front of us.
In a world of distributed workforces, asynchronous messages, and long commutes where we isolate ourselves with noise-canceling headphones and doomscrolling, the art of courtesy, consideration, and care seems to be fading.
"Remote work has stripped away all the small in-person gestures that used to do a lot of the heavy lifting to build relationships," says Nick Leighton, etiquette expert at Were You Raised By Wolves? "The nod in the hallway, the quick hello in the elevator, the light chat at the coffee machine. Now we're all just typing into the ether and assuming the other person knows us."
Our attachment to screens isn't helping. According to the Pew Research Center, nine-in-ten U.S. adults use the internet daily, including 41% who say they're online almost constantly. Globally, in 2025, the average person spends nearly seven hours on screens every single day. You can bet those habits are affecting how we show up for each other.
"Everyone's constant use of phones is definitely part of the equation," says Harvind Singh, president & CEO at SINGH + Associates, Inc. "I'm seeing even less human interaction when people are sitting right next to each other. The art of conversation and the courtesy that comes with it is slowly being lost."
The headwinds are real. But here's the good news: even small, polite gestures can help you build a stronger personal brand, create more positive professional impressions, and foster deeper relationships. Here are ten of them.
1. Put Your Phone Away
A smartphone can feel like the uninvited guest butting into every conversation. It goes without saying that your ringer should be off when you're with someone — unless you've communicated a good reason to leave it on. But even silencing your phone may not be enough.
Research has shown that the mere presence of a smartphone — even face down or turned off — can distract you and tank your concentration. With notifications, alerts, and message prompts constantly flooding us with bite-sized information, it's no wonder we struggle to focus on any one person.
"People are overwhelmed with information and increasingly tight deadlines. Workers are finding it harder to focus on one task at a time, so it's not surprising they may start checking their phones during a conversation without even realizing it," says Megan Sweeney, public relations director at the American Staffing Association. She adds: "Checking your phone or computer while someone is talking lets the other person know you're not their priority."
The fix? Put your phone completely away — out of sight, out of mind. "When I worked in an office, I would challenge myself to put down the phone and turn around and face the person," says Sarah Noll Wilson, president and founder of The Noll Wilson Group. She points out that your phone etiquette signals your overall attentiveness. "Trust isn't built in grand gestures. It's built in these really micro moments of conversation."
Action: The next time you're with someone, put your phone completely out of sight — for both your sake and theirs.
2. Look at Your Camera, Not Your Screen
You've probably experienced the frustration of talking to someone at a networking event only to notice their eyes wandering around the room. People generally appreciate eye contact when they're speaking to you — and while no one expects a Zoom call to match a face-to-face conversation, it's certainly noticed when someone seems laser-focused on you.
Not looking at your camera during virtual calls makes the other person feel like you're looking away — or multitasking. "Speaking only to a little black dot on your [computer] takes some getting used to," says Paul Falcone, principal consultant at Paul Falcone Workplace Leadership Consulting. "But your eye contact is much more sincere and welcomed by the recipients on the other end of the line."
Poor digital presence during virtual meetings is just as damaging as poor in-person presence. Don't give people a reason to believe you're half-paying attention.
Action: On your next virtual call, look directly at your webcam instead of the video feed. It feels strange at first — but the person on the other end will feel far more connected to you.
3. Arrive Early
I hate being late to meetings. Being punctual was drilled into me early on — I can't remember my mother ever being late to a school event, though I certainly remember my father being late to plenty. People running late has been a pet peeve of mine ever since. As a public speaker, showing up late to an engagement would be a major breach of professionalism, so punctuality is non-negotiable for me.
Real-time communication has made it easy to send last-minute updates about delays. But with so many people now in the habit of rescheduling at the eleventh hour, simply being on time actually signals professionalism.
"Repeatedly bumping meetings tells the person they're not important enough — especially team member 1:1s being moved or rain-checked by their manager," says Clare Haynes, a conversations specialist at Wildfire. "Leaders can argue that it's 'business-imperative,' but it actually destroys discretionary effort over time."
Action: The next time you have a meeting, get there a few minutes early. That way, you can spend those first moments connecting over the topic at hand — rather than explaining why you're late.
4. Use the Person's Name
I was just telling my wife that I feel like people almost never call me by name — even people I know personally or work with closely. It's so rare that I do a double take when someone actually says "Joseph," whether in a social or professional setting. I know people are busy. I know people forget names — I certainly do. So I never expect it. But when they do use it, I appreciate it.
Using someone's first name in conversation creates an instant personal connection. "Use the other person's name. And use it frequently. It creates an immediate personal connection, and demonstrates attention, recognition and acknowledgement, while creating a culture of respect," says Jo Hayes, founder and etiquette expert at EtiquetteExpert.Org. "Using the other person's name several times in the first conversation will also imprint their name in your own memory."
Action: When you bump into someone you know, greet them by name. Or after meeting someone for the first time, use their name when parting ways. It's a small gesture — but it makes people feel noticed.
5. Remember Details
The other day, a former client remembered my daughter's name, her age, and even one of her hobbies. I know everyone has a lot on their mind, so I never expect others to remember details about my life. But when they do, I definitely notice — and appreciate it.
"Showing a respectful curiosity about the lives of your colleagues and remembering those details is so important," says Ryan McKiernan, managing director at Fat Macy's Foundation. "Simple gestures like wishing a colleague happy birthday or remembering the names of their children go a long way to building solid relationships."
Action: After meeting someone, jot down a couple of notes about them in your phone — a life event, a family member's name, a hobby, a favorite drink, a work project they mentioned. Then remind yourself of those details before you see them again.
6. Share a Handwritten Note
When was the last time you got a handwritten card in the mail — from a job candidate, a former colleague, or even a friend? Have you even seen people's handwriting anymore?
I know. I'm harkening back to the days before smartphones, and now I'm suggesting you write a handwritten note. You might be thinking, exactly how old is this guy? But stick with me.
These gestures may seem old-fashioned, but they still carry tremendous weight. Handwriting a note takes more effort and time — which is exactly why most people don't do it anymore, and exactly why you should. Investing effort into someone signals how much you value them.
"Manners matter in a professional setting," says Singh. "Sending a thank-you text or email is a very basic gesture that will make a positive impression — but if you provide a handwritten note, that's the platinum standard."
Even in an age of emails, LinkedIn messages, and texts, a handwritten note is far from antiquated. It's thoughtful, personal, and timeless.
Action: Buy a pack of professional-looking blank cards and keep them in your work bag. When the moment feels right, write a handwritten note to someone whose relationship you value.
7. Engage in Genuine Conversation
People are used to the common greeting — "Hi, how are you?" — and typically treat it as a pleasantry, not a question. But I can always tell when someone has a genuine interest in me versus just being politely superficial. You probably can too.
"Because we communicate so much virtually and via our phones, the ability to notice and tune into the nuances of interpersonal interactions has gotten lost," says Karol Ward, communication consultant and licensed psychotherapist at Claim Your Confidence. "We order coffee with our heads down. We don't look up when someone walks in before a meeting."
Ward suggests taking the time to ask people about their day, their weekend, their family, or a recent vacation — and actually listening. That means showing genuine curiosity, not bulldozing the conversation with your own monologue.
You also have to give yourself permission to just pause and converse amid your busy schedule. "We've gotten to a point where we're moving too fast in our conversations and rushing past people in hallways," says Wilson. "This is about pausing for a single moment to really see somebody. 'Tell me more' might be the three most important words we can offer somebody to show them they're worthy to be seen."
Author Purva Grover agrees: "If we take a moment to treat another as a human and not as a resource, an email address, we end up making a positive impression and a lasting work relationship."
Action: Think about a colleague you have a rather transactional relationship with. The next time you see them, take a couple of extra minutes to give them an opening to share how their week's been.
8. Follow Through
Like many people, I've been ghosted plenty of times in my career. It happened when job hunting — perhaps understandably, when I wasn't the best fit for a role. But these days, I notice it happens even when I'm the one responding. When I make an introduction, accept a meeting invitation, or reply to someone who reached out — sometimes they just disappear.
Just following through, getting back to people, and doing the things you say you're going to do signals professional dependability.
"Most people don't see the value in follow-through. First impressions are fine, but trust is made in the second and third encounter," says Laura Pucker, CEO and founder of BBE Media. She says simply following through on a next step or action item in a timely manner can do wonders for a relationship.
Just make sure you follow through in a tailored, personal manner — especially in writing. I've become increasingly suspicious of very polished, impeccably structured, but impersonal-feeling messages that are likely AI-generated. "AI can put an email together for you, but it won't make someone feel as though you really do remember them," says Pucker.
Chris McCarron, founder of GoGoChimp, puts it this way: the new signal of professionalism is personalization and specificity — a first name spelled right, a thoughtful response to what was said. "Quote the exact line you are replying to. It tells the sender the words they chose were the words you read."
Action: Before you get down to business in your next email, include one sentence that relates specifically to something they shared with you during your last interaction.
9. Say Thank You
When I worked in the corporate world, manager after manager told me that one of the easiest — and free — ways to make someone feel valued is to simply acknowledge their contributions. It only takes a few moments, but it can make someone's entire day.
I recently reconnected with a contact I hadn't spoken to in over 20 years — just to thank her for giving me a temporary job at her law firm while I was sorting out my professional life in Washington, D.C., after dropping out of medical school. Her gesture gave me a financial and professional lifeline that helped me get back on my feet at a time when my career could have gone in any direction.
If someone — a hiring manager, colleague, friend, or acquaintance — invests time or effort to help you or open a door, you absolutely must extend a thank you. It seems simple, but too many people forget — even in high-stakes situations.
"Always send a thank you after an interview," says Kristen Nossokoff, head of PR at NowThis. "A handwritten note goes a long way, but any kind of follow-up after a conversation is an absolute necessity. I've seen many interviewees not follow up in any way, and for me, that's an absolute no." She adds that trying to keep up with the fast tempo of today's work environment is coming at the expense of these small gestures that make a big difference.
Action: Remember — it's never too late to say thank you to someone who helped you. You can bet that hearing from you will be one of the highlights of their day.
10. Share a Compliment
Most of us recognize the positive impact a genuine compliment can have. Yet I used to be reluctant to share them openly — afraid someone might take it the wrong way or think I was being weird. These days, I've made a point to just get over myself and be more open and transparent, which has deepened both my personal and professional relationships.
Sharing a genuine compliment is one way to make people feel seen while signaling what you value in them. "The act of making another person feel important is remembered long after any words you have said," says Sarah Collins, media trainer and communication coach at Sarah Collins Coaching. "We too often think great thoughts about another person but hold back from saying them aloud. Tell them. It will raise their confidence and make you feel good in return."
Action: If you've been quietly admiring something about someone, make a point to tell them the next time you see them.
These Small Acts Make a Big Difference
Ultimately, in an increasingly synthetic and digital world, genuine human connections during face-to-face interactions remain irreplaceable. With domain knowledge and technical skills becoming more commoditized through AI, your emotional intelligence and social etiquette will become the true differentiator.
"In a world where the contexts have disappeared, the small deliberate acts — the handwritten note, the named greeting, the closed loop, the kind smile — are now the only way the lessons get passed on. They used to be the background. Now they are the entire foreground," says Rishi Bhavna, fashion brand consultant and founder of BuildTheDreamBrand.
How you choose to treat others still matters — more than ever before. So take it upon yourself to engage more genuinely and thoughtfully with the people in your life and career. These small gestures don't take tremendous effort, but over time, they shape how people feel around you — more seen, more heard, more respected. You'll build trust. You'll be more memorable. And you'll create stronger, more positive connections that last for years to come.
The Surprising Science of Asking for Help: Why Vulnerability Signals Competence
If you avoid asking for help because you’re afraid of looking weak, incapable, or inferior, you aren’t alone. Many of us pride ourselves on self-reliance, equating solo achievement with true success. The psychological friction of asking for assistance—rooted in a very human fear of rejection—often convinces us to struggle in silence.
However, behavioral science reveals that this mindset is entirely backwards. Asking for help doesn't diminish your perceived competence; it actually enhances it.
The Competence Paradox
A study published in Management Science discovered a fascinating psychological quirk: when you ask someone for advice or assistance, their perception of your competence goes up, not down. This effect is particularly pronounced when you are tackling a difficult task.
Why does this happen?
Prioritizing Results Over Ego: Seeking help signals that you care more about getting the job done right than managing your image. It demonstrates maturity and strategic thinking.
The Flattery Factor: Asking for help is an implicit compliment. You are signaling that you respect the other person's intelligence, skill, or experience. People naturally view those who validate their expertise as perceptive and smart.
Building Trust Through Vulnerability: By showing a sliver of vulnerability, you signal that you trust the other person. This lowers social barriers and fosters a deeper professional or personal connection.
The Joy of Giving
We often hesitate to reach out because we don't want to burden others. But research published in Current Directions in Psychological Science shows that human beings are wired for prosocial behavior. Put simply: helping feels good.
People are generally happier after performing acts of kindness. When you ask for help, you aren't just solving your own problem; you are giving someone else a tangible opportunity to make a meaningful difference, which triggers a natural psychological reward.
The Steve Jobs Rule for Success
The willingness to ask for help is often the defining line between those who achieve their goals and those who merely dream about them.
Consider a famous anecdote from Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. At just 12 years old, Jobs wanted to build a frequency counter but lacked the components. He didn't let his age or lack of resources stop him; he looked up Bill Hewlett (the co-founder of Hewlett-Packard) in the phone book and called him directly.
"He laughed, and he gave me the spare parts, and he gave me a job that summer at Hewlett-Packard… and I was in heaven," Jobs recalled. "I’ve never found anyone who said no, or hung up the phone when I called. I just asked. Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask, and that’s what separates, sometimes, the people who do things from the people who just dream about them."
Rethinking Self-Reliance
Sure, you can do almost anything on your own. You can launch a business, learn a complex new skill, or tackle a massive home renovation single-handedly. But solo execution usually takes twice as long, yields a lower-quality result, and leaves you vulnerable to burnout.
When you refuse to ask for help, you lose out on critical guidance, and you deny someone else the fulfillment of lending a hand. True capability isn't about knowing all the answers—it’s about having the wisdom and courage to leverage the collective expertise around you.