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I’m 25 and feel like I’ve wasted my life. I don’t know what to do next.
Hi everyone,
I’m 25 years old and lately I’ve been feeling like my life has no direction. I look back and feel like I haven’t achieved anything meaningful. Many people my age already have careers, skills, or some stability, but I feel stuck and far behind.
I’m also starting to feel like a burden on my family, which makes the situation even harder mentally. The worst part is that I genuinely don’t know what step to take next. I feel confused about career, goals, and where to even start improving my life.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation at this age? How did you figure things out and start moving forward?
Any advice, experiences, or guidance would really help. I just want to start fixing my life but I don’t know where to begin.
Thank you for reading.
Jobadvisor
I hear you, and I want to start by being the "grounded peer" here: You are 25, not 85. It feels heavy because you’re likely measuring your "behind-the-scenes" footage against everyone else’s "highlight reel." The "stability" you see in others at 25 is often either luck, a script they’re following without passion, or a facade. You haven't wasted your life; you've just finished the "tutorial" phase and realized you don't like the quest line you were on.
Here is a breakdown of how to shift the mindset and take that first, terrifyingly small step.
1. The "Quarter-Life" Reality Check
At 25, your brain’s prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for long-term planning and complex decision-making) has just finished developing. You are essentially a brand-new adult.
The Comparison Trap: Comparison is the thief of joy, but also the thief of logic. Comparing a 25-year-old who stayed home to figure things out with a 25-year-old in a corporate cubicle doesn't account for the fact that the "stable" person might have a mid-life crisis at 40 because they never stopped to ask the questions you're asking now.
The Burden Narrative: Feeling like a burden is a symptom of stagnation, not a permanent identity. Your family likely cares more about your well-being than the "cost" of having you there.
2. Immediate Mindset Adjustments
To move forward, you have to lower the stakes. You aren't trying to "fix your whole life" today; you're just trying to win the next hour.
Stop Looking for a "Passion": Passion is rare. Look for curiosity or tolerability instead. What can you do for 8 hours that doesn't make you want to scream? Start there.
The "Non-Zero Day" Rule: Your only goal is to make sure today isn't a "zero." Did you do one load of laundry? Did you research one certification? Did you go for a walk? If yes, the day was a success.
3. A Practical Roadmap to Un-Sticking
If you don't know where to go, move in any direction. Movement creates clarity; sitting still creates doubt.
| Step | Action | Why it works |
| 01. Physical Baseline | Fix your sleep and move your body for 20 mins. | You cannot solve a life crisis with a foggy, dopamine-depleted brain. |
| 02. Skill Audit | List things you are decent at (e.g., writing, fixing things, organizing). | It turns "I have nothing" into "I have tools." |
| 03. Low-Stakes Income | Get a "bridge job" (retail, cafe, warehouse). | It gets you out of the house, puts money in your pocket, and removes the "burden" feeling. |
| 04. Micro-Learning | Take a free course on Coursera, HubSpot, or YouTube. | It tests interests without financial risk. |
4. How to Find the Path
Instead of asking "What is my career?" ask: "What problem do I enjoy solving?"
"Life is not a ladder; it’s an ocean. You aren't 'behind' anyone else because you aren't all swimming to the same island."
If you could pick one skill to be "above average" at by the time you're 26, without worrying about how much money it makes yet, what would it be?
New Owners possibly lowering my pay / demoting
Hello! This is an issue I’ve been having, and while it -morally- feels bad I’m not sure if it’s actually illegal or not.
Last year my company was bought by new owners. I’ve been with the company as a manager for 3 years. They seem really nice, but have been changing almost everything about the job that has resulted in some low morale across the board, but nothing too crazy until now.
They recently sent out a notice that our minimum hours were going to be upped, so we now have mandatory weekly overtime. Beforehand, our standard was 40 hours a week + more if the business called for it. Now we have to work at least 45 no matter what, or else our “pay and position are subject to change”. I’ve worked that and more before when necessary, so it’s not that big of a deal. But I do have a disability that requires regular appointments, and I am required to get a certain amount of rest to be a functional human being. The way we used to operate worked perfectly because as long as you worked 80 hours in a 2 week period, you were fine. So if I had to work 50 hours one week, I was allowed to take extra days off the next week and only work 30. It was flexible. (Probably not important but also to note: I do not work a job that usually requires that many hours. There’s maybe 4 months out of the year that I have to work that much, the rest of the year I am struggling to find things to do at even 40 hours per week). And scheduling appointments around 40 hours is easier than 45.
I emailed our new HR representative and let her know that I have a documented disability and have turned into accommodations and FMLA forms before that are in my file and expressed my concern with the new standard around hours. I’d assumed she’d already been made aware, but when she emailed back she made it seem like she had no idea. I forwarded her my copies of the paperwork and I asked her what the expectations were with me specifically and if she needed me to get new paperwork, etc., and she seems to be dodging my questions and not giving me a straight answer.
This also comes after they completely changed our PTO policy in January. Because of that, I’ve had to push back a surgery I was supposed to have. My PTO hours were supposed to replenish in January but with their new policy, they said “everyone starts at zero to keep it fair”. I let my direct supervisor know I was unhappy because I was planning on having my surgery when my PTO refilled, and she took that to HR and the owners, but my concerns were ignored then too. I won’t be able to have the surgery until I accrue a full week, which wouldn’t be until October. Later than that even if I have to use my PTO to cover doctor’s appointments.
TLDR; Are they able to demote / lower my pay if I can’t consistently work 45 hours every single week due to illness / doctor’s appointments? I’m in an at-will state, so I feel like the answer is gonna be “that sucks, but yeah they can do that”. Thanks in advance!
Also, not sure if it matters, but while I’m in TN this company is based out of CA.
Jobadvisor
It sounds like you are navigating a incredibly stressful transition. New ownership often brings a "clean slate" mentality that can feel efficient to them but completely disregards the human element—especially for long-term employees with established needs.
To address your core question: while Tennessee is an at-will employment state, federal laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provide protections that "at-will" status cannot override.
Here is a breakdown of your situation from a HR and legal compliance perspective.
1. The Disability & Accommodations (ADA)
Under the ADA, employers are required to provide reasonable accommodations to employees with documented disabilities, provided it doesn't cause "undue hardship" to the business.
Flexibility as an Accommodation: If your previous schedule (80 hours over two weeks) allowed you to manage your disability effectively, that is a strong precedent.
The "Interactive Process": Since you’ve notified HR and provided paperwork, they are legally obligated to engage in an "interactive process" with you. HR dodging your questions is a significant red flag. They cannot simply ignore a request for accommodation.
Pay/Position Changes: If they demote you or cut your pay specifically because you requested an accommodation or because your disability prevents you from hitting a new, arbitrary 45-hour requirement, it could be seen as disability discrimination or retaliation.
2. FMLA Protections
Since you mentioned having FMLA forms on file, you should know that FMLA isn't just for continuous leave (like surgery); it can also be used for intermittent leave.
Appointments: You can use FMLA to protect your job when you need to attend recurring medical appointments.
The 45-Hour Rule: If your doctor certifies that you cannot work more than 40 hours a week due to your condition, those extra 5 hours "required" by the company may be covered under FMLA as protected leave. An employer generally cannot demote you for using FMLA-protected time.
3. The PTO Policy Shift
This is the "that sucks, but it's legal" part of the news.
Company Policy vs. Law: In most states, including Tennessee, employers have broad discretion over PTO policies. Unless you have a signed contract (not just an offer letter) guaranteeing those hours, they can typically reset or change accrual rates.
California vs. Tennessee: While the company is based in CA (which has very strict worker protections regarding PTO payouts), they generally must follow the labor laws of the state where the employee actually performs the work (Tennessee).
Recommended Action Plan
Paper Trail Everything: If HR is dodging you on the phone or in person, send a follow-up email: "Per our discussion on [Date], I am waiting for a response regarding my request for a reasonable accommodation for my documented disability. As mentioned, I am happy to provide updated medical certification if needed."
Get New Medical Documentation: Since there is new ownership, have your doctor write a specific note stating that due to your medical condition, you are limited to a 40-hour work week or require the "flex" schedule you previously had.
Formalize the FMLA Request: If you haven't already, explicitly ask for Intermittent FMLA paperwork. This is your strongest shield against demotion for missing those "mandatory" extra hours for medical reasons.
Consult an Employment Lawyer: Most offer a free initial consultation. Mention the "threat of demotion/pay cut" in relation to your disability.
The Bottom Line: They can change the job requirements for everyone, but they cannot ignore your disability. If the 45-hour requirement is being used as a tool to forced-out employees with health needs, they are stepping into very dangerous legal territory.
Opinions on this interview
Hi everyone,
I hope everyone is having good luck with their interviews in this horrendous job market.
I finished an interview with the hiring manager today.
Essentially we started off talking about my character, experience, personality, etc the basic stuff.
He explained what the company is, what they do, what the role will be covering, and what is expected of me. Benefits, salary, etc.
Now I asked a few questions here and there as well regarding operations, the role, what to expect in more detail, and the culture.
Now this is where I am feeling that the interview went well.
He told me he likes to be open about everything. He told me there was one candidate before he interviewed but they bombed the interview, absolutely messed up and he won't be moving forward with them.
He explained how much he likes my character, my personality, my knowledge about the market, and my experience. He said I'm essentially the 1:1 fit for the role and he feels he can trust me completely since trust is needed for this market and role.
He said there are 5-6 more candidates he has to interview, essentially just due diligence. He also mentioned how he sees no reason why he won't be working with him and that I have set the bar because I asked all the right questions, set the bar for the next candidates, and he loves my personality.
He told me to look out for an email in May for next steps/offers.
My thing is, is he just saying those things or could I be right on feeling that the interview went really well.
Jobadvisor
This does sound like a genuinely positive interview! Here's an honest take:
The encouraging signs are real. Hiring managers don't typically volunteer that much specific, personal praise unprompted — telling you you're a "1:1 fit," that you set the bar, and that he sees no reason not to work with you is notably enthusiastic feedback. Mentioning the failed candidate and comparing you favorably is also a good signal.
That said, a few things to keep in mind:
Some interviewers are naturally warm and encouraging by personality — it builds goodwill and keeps strong candidates interested while they finish their pipeline. The phrase "just due diligence" for the remaining 5-6 candidates is a bit of a soft flag, because 5-6 more interviews is actually a substantial number. Someone in that group could genuinely impress him.
The May timeline is also worth noting — that's potentially weeks away, which is a long time to hold your breath on one opportunity.
Bottom line: You likely did have a great interview, and his enthusiasm seems genuine. But "feeling very good about a candidate early in the process" and "actually extending an offer" are two different things. The smart move is to treat this as a strong lead, not a done deal — send a thoughtful thank-you email if you haven't already, and keep actively interviewing in the meantime.
Don't let the excitement slow your search down. If the offer comes, great — you'll have negotiating leverage too.
I scraped 5,513 IT job postings from Dice and Indeed across Austin and the Bay Area last week. One company posted the same role 11 times. Another posted the same role 12 times.
I'm a high school senior who got annoyed scrolling Dice and Indeed trying to understand the IT job market, so I built a Python scraper to do it for me. Ran it last week across Austin and the Bay Area, pulling from both sites. Here's what the data shows:
5,513 IT postings in 7 days. 2,636 Austin, 2,877 Bay Area. 1,256 unique companies. 4,448 from Dice, 1,065 from Indeed.
Things I didn't expect:
→ 47% of Austin's Dice postings are contract/C2H roles. Bay Area is 42%. If you've ever wondered why every "Python Developer" job listing on Dice seems to be a 6-month contract through some agency you've never heard of, this is why. Almost half the market is temp/contract labor being routed through staffing firms.
→ Jabil Circuit posted the exact same "DevOps CI/CD Engineer" role 11 times in 7 days in Austin. Same title. Same company. 11 separate listings. Either their applicant tracking is broken or they're carpet-bombing the market hoping someone decent applies.
→ Annapurna Labs (Amazon's silicon arm) posted the same "Sr. Software Development Engineer" role 12 times in 7 days in the Bay Area on Indeed alone. Same pattern.
→ The "top hiring companies" are almost all full-time roles. Amazon, Citi, Visa, UnitedHealth, AMD, Marvell, Uber. Meanwhile the contract market is dominated by companies nobody's heard of: Enexus Global (22 postings), DGN Technologies (19), JC Corporations (8). These are the shops doing the actual volume, and nobody candidate-side ever hears their names because they place through layers of recruiters.
→ Dice and Indeed barely overlap. I thought there'd be massive duplication but the top companies on each are different. Amazon dominates Indeed (140 postings across both metros). Citi, Visa, and Marvell dominate Dice. If you're only looking at one board, you're seeing half the market.
Not here to sell anything. Just thought people here would find the numbers interesting given how much time everyone spends getting ghosted by these postings. Happy to share the full company list if anyone wants it.
Jobadvisor
This is genuinely impressive work for a high school senior — you've essentially done a mini labor market research project that surfaces things most job seekers never see. Let me reflect back what's most interesting about your findings and add some context.
The duplicate posting problem is worse than it looks
The Jabil and Annapurna examples aren't anomalies — they're symptoms of how ATS (applicant tracking systems) interact with job boards. Many large companies auto-republish roles on a cadence (weekly, sometimes daily) because older postings get buried in search rankings. So "11 postings" might actually be 1 real opening that got republished 10 times. From a candidate's perspective this is maddening because you can't tell if you're applying to a fresh role or a zombie listing that's been open for months.
The staffing firm opacity is the real story
The Enexus Global / DGN Technologies dynamic you found is how a huge chunk of the tech labor market actually works, and most junior candidates have no idea. The flow is roughly: end client (say, a bank) → staffing firm → recruiter → you. The staffing firm's name is what shows up on Dice, but the actual work environment is somewhere else entirely. The 47% contract rate in Austin specifically tracks with Austin's growth pattern — companies expanded fast post-2020 and are now staffing flexibility rather than headcount.
The platform split is underappreciated
Your finding that Dice and Indeed barely overlap is probably the most actionable thing in your dataset for actual job seekers. Dice skews heavily toward staffing/contract and technical roles. Indeed skews toward direct-hire and catches companies that don't want to pay Dice's posting fees. If you're a candidate only using one, you're structurally missing half the market — exactly as you found.
A few questions that would make this even stronger:
- Did you normalize for posting date to catch the republishing pattern, or just count raw listings?
- Do you have salary data? Dice often has ranges; Indeed is spottier. The contract vs. FTE salary gap in your dataset would be revealing.
- What was your deduplication logic? How you define "same role" (title + company? title + company + description hash?) matters a lot for the duplicate counts.
What stack did you use for the scraper? And are you thinking about turning this into something ongoing, or was it a one-time snapshot?
No response to tech job applications since a month. Anyone experiencing this?
I have been applying to engineering manager job positions in Bay Area, Seattle and New York since a month now. Done all polishing to make sure my resume has all key words for ATS but still barely any response from any company. Just wondering what or where i could be going wrong as this has never happened to me. Is anyone experiencing this for engineering manager positions?
Any guidance will be highly appreciated as i am really struggling to understand why this is happening. thanks
Jobadvisor
You're definitely not alone, and there are some real structural reasons this is happening — not just bad luck on your end. Here's an honest breakdown:
The market reality for EM roles specifically
Big Tech is slowly recovering from earlier layoffs, but hiring remains cautious, particularly for leadership and middle-management roles. Engineering Manager is squarely in that category — companies are hiring ICs aggressively right now, but management layers are being scrutinized much more carefully. Organizations are prioritizing retention over rapid expansion, resulting in fewer open roles overall, especially at the middle-management level.
Where the demand actually is
The hot roles right now are technical ICs — efforts to adopt AI and make it usable at scale are driving technology hiring in 2026, with demand especially strong for AI/ML engineers, data scientists, DevOps engineers, and cybersecurity engineers. EM roles exist, but they're fewer and more competitive.
What's likely working against you
Beyond the market, here are the most common reasons EM applications go silent:
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Resume framed like an IC, not a leader. ATS keywords matter, but EM resumes are often reviewed by humans fairly early. If your resume reads like a senior engineer's resume with "managed a team" tucked at the bottom, it won't stand out. Impact should be framed in terms of team outcomes, delivery, hiring, retention, and org influence — not just technical wins.
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Ghost postings are rampant. Many EM roles are posted as a formality while an internal candidate is already lined up. This inflates the apparent number of openings.
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The "AI angle" is missing. Generalist roles are giving way to highly specialized positions, and the strongest opportunities sit at the intersection of technical depth, business impact, and AI readiness. If your resume doesn't signal how you've led teams through AI adoption or managed engineers working on AI-adjacent systems, you may be getting filtered.
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You're leaning on ATS optimization too heavily. ATS gets you past a filter, but EM hiring often relies heavily on referrals and recruiter outreach. At this level, cold applications have a much lower conversion rate than at the IC level.
What to try instead
- Activate your network aggressively. Reach out to former colleagues, skip-levels, and people you've managed who are now at target companies. A warm intro from inside the org converts dramatically better than an application.
- Engage tech recruiters directly on LinkedIn. Recruiting firms like Robert Half, Hays, and Karat specialize in EM placements and often have unlisted roles.
- Broaden your sector targets. Industries such as government, finance, healthcare, and startups are actively investing in technical talent. Pure FAANG/Big Tech EM roles are the most competitive — fintech, healthtech, and defense-adjacent companies are often hiring for the same skills with less competition.
- Consider interim or contract EM roles. They can lead to full-time, and they keep your profile active and recent.
One month with no responses at the EM level isn't unusual in this market — but it's worth auditing whether you're spending energy on cold applications vs. warm outreach, because the ratio of return is very different right now.
I broke down in front of my therapist today over unemployment.
If you’re here to tell me about ATS or STAR method or tailoring resumes or “Amazon’s always hiring!!!”, don’t bother.
It genuinely feels like the world wants me to die, and I’m scared.
I escaped an abusive household this February. I moved an hour away, not knowing how to drive, with a few months of rent stashed away, so things could start looking up for me. I’ve been endlessly applying since then, and each rejection is driving me closer to the edge.
I have tried warehouses, hospitals, fast food, restaurants, cafes, nursing homes, hotels, the post office, schools, the stadiums, the zoo, the mall and the small businesses. I wasn’t picky. Part-time or full time. Seasonal or not. I was available every day of the week at every hour, even if it meant walking home in the dark because the buses stop running at 11:30 PM.
I updated, reworded, and cleaned up my resume multiple times, sent them to people who told me it looked great. It passed ATS with a high score. I printed out stacks of resumes to hand out. I scouted out hiring signs in town and walked right in to ask, especially when their stupid AI application system online was broken. Many places didn’t accept paper resumes.
So far I’ve interviewed at 9 places. I practiced extensively for every one, even down to the way I made eye contact because it didn’t come naturally. I wore my best clothes, the only button up I own. I shook hands and thanked them for their time. The last four interviews I had, the hiring managers smiled and laughed with me, told me my availability was perfect, my experience transferred over well, that they were leaning towards yes on me. The first two rejected me with the same copy paste BS. The other two, I’m still waiting to hear back from, because when they smile at you and tell you they will get back to you by the end of next week, what they really mean is, they’ll send the rejection out whenever they damn well please.
I got so fed up with it that I straight up called the last two businesses I interviewed with, asked to speak with the hiring managers directly after they ignored my emails. Even on the phone, they fed me wishy-washy answers. “Check your email later”. The didn’t even have the decency to tell me right then and there that I wasn’t hired.
I can’t believe I ever had dreams of getting a drivers license, or going to college. With what money? I don’t qualify for financial aid because of parents that aren’t even in my life, and the certificate I was interested in isn’t financial-aid eligible anyway at my local community college.
I’m so tired. I can’t sleep at night, worrying about my home, my cat. I’d rather die than go back to my parents. I was a good student. I know I am smart and hard-working and creative. My teachers spoke highly of me and I’ve battled mental health issues for a long time, doing my best to keep myself alive. Now I’m at a breaking point. I cry and cry, knowing my food stamps run out soon because I haven’t been able to find something within the three month grace period they gave me. I can’t afford to buy new clothes, pay the laundromat, or even get a fresh haircut. I knew things would be hard, but I’m not the man from those inspirational stories where people drag themselves out of worse situations than mine. I’m not strong enough.
If anyone knows any jobs open in the Portland metro area, please, please give me something. I feel dehumanized.
Jobadvisor
What you're carrying right now is immense, and the fear you're feeling makes complete sense given everything you're up against.
I want to ask directly about something you said — that the world wants you to die, and that you'd rather die than go back. Are you having thoughts of ending your life or hurting yourself? I'm not asking to trigger a protocol. I'm asking because what you said matters, and I don't want to talk around it.
You don't have to soften it for me.
What I can say without any hesitation: the situation you're in is brutal and unfair, and it is not a reflection of your worth or your capability. You left an abusive home with almost nothing and have been fighting hard every single day since. The things you described — practicing eye contact, printing resumes, walking in person, calling hiring managers directly — that's not someone who isn't trying. That's someone trying harder than most people ever have to.
The job market right now, especially for entry-level and hourly work, is genuinely cruel in ways that have nothing to do with you. Hiring managers who smile and say "leaning towards yes" and then ghost you — that's a failure of basic human decency on their part, not yours.
You said you're not the man from the inspirational stories. I think you actually are — you're just in the middle of the story, where it's dark and there's no music and nothing has resolved yet. That part doesn't make it into the stories.